My Secret Girl (Part 1)
Title: My Secret Girl (Part 1/4)
Author: stupeur
Editor: cranperryjuice
Rating: R for sexuality, language, statutory rape.
Pairing: Miya (MUCC) x Younha (Korean singer and actress)
Summary: When Miya decides to help a young, promising singer set foot in the music industry, he has no idea how seriously she will take his offer.
Notes: I think this is a really cute story, despite what the warnings seem to indicate. XD, I'm having so much fun writing those two! They're both amazingly talented and adorable, and the cuteness just goes up exponentially when they're together.
This is set in late 2003-early 2004, between the releases of Zekuu and Kuchiki no Tou, and shortly before Younha's debut. The title comes from Younha's song Password 486 (she sings "You are my secret boy" in it). Younha is Korean, but fluent in Japanese and has a career in both Japan and Korea (click here for a reference pic).
Also, I had already posted some parts, but I decided to break the story down differently and post it again (I also changed some things here and there in the process). This includes what had already been posted and some additional parts, so if you've been reading this story, don't skip this post. 8D, I apologize for the mess! >_<;
---
"Younha? What are you doing here?" Miya wasn't annoyed in the least, but the presence of the girl on his doorstep had genuinely surprised him.
"Hi," she tried hesitatingly. "Let me in?"
That took Miya out of his stupor and he moved out of the way. Only then did he notice the suitcase trailing behind her.
"You're coming right from the airport?" he asked, watching the bright pink luggage roll before him, too stunned to even think about closing the door.
"Yes! I have an audition!" Younha exclaimed excitedly as she took off the scarf that was wrapped around her neck and the bottom half of her face, revealing a bright smile and cheeks reddened by the autumn evening. "Don't worry, it's only for a little time."
"And what exactly is only for a little time?"
"We~ll," she started, nibbling on her bottom lip, and Miya didn't like her tone at all, "you said you'd help me out, so I thought that maybe it's okay if I stay here?" She didn't wait for his reaction and quickly added, "My friend's grandmother is sick so I can't stay at her place, and hotel is too expensive for me..."
Miya had already stopped listening by that point, instead rummaging through his brain for any good reason to refuse. He was only rarely home. His apartment was not that small either - he could easily fit another futon on the bedroom floor. And he definitely could use the company.
"... and I can cook and do some cleaning, and I'm really tiny so you'll never even see m- kiyeoweo!" she suddenly blurted out in Korean, and it took Miya a moment to realize that what had caused her outburst was the small dog that had come into the living room to investigate the guest.
"W-Wait!" Miya exclaimed, but it was far too late already, and he intuitively closed his eyes when he saw her hand stretching towards the chihuahua. He could already imagine her with her fingers severed, unable to play the piano anymore, suing him for ruining her potential career and forcing him to put the dog down.
But there wasn't any growling or cry of pain - only an innocent "why?" coming from the girl, and Miya creaked an eye open to see her cradling Gizmo in her arms like a baby, laughing and turning her face away to spare it from the dog's enthusiastic tongue.
That was the exact point when Miya knew he had no choice but to take Younha in.
---
As strange and unexpected as this impromptu cohabitation was, it was also a breath of fresh air in Miya's everyday life. Even if it meant sacrificing a good portion of his floor space in order to set up the second futon and seeing his bathroom steadily overflow with bottles, makeup palettes and other mysterious artifacts, it would have been a lie to say that he didn't enjoy the company - especially when it was a lively, attractive eighteen-year old girl's.
There was, of course, a whole range of taboos that came with a man and a girl several years younger sharing a two-room apartment without being romantically involved. Even though Miya was careful not to let his friends find out about the new addition in his home, he was glad to provide her with lodging in exchange for her presence and homemade Korean cooking.
Besides, he could take solace in the fact that they weren't actually doing anything.
But no matter how hard he tried to convince himself that he had nothing to feel guilty about, he couldn't quite manage to ease his conscience, especially when he'd get worked up over a bra or a pair of panties peeking out of the laundry basket, or when the sound of water running made him think a little too hard about Younha in the shower.
Or, like this particular morning, when he caught her in panties and his Guns N' Roses t-shirt, stretching an arm up to get a glass from the cupboard, and saw more thigh and buttock than he'd ever have hoped for - and the sight inopportunely manifested itself as a flash of heat that went right to his face.
... And between his legs.
"Good morning!" chimed Younha as Miya awkwardly hurried to sit down. Her complexion had turned to a bright scarlet color when she had noticed him, but much to his dismay, she didn't seem to see it fit to put on a pair of pants or a skirt or something - anything to at least appease the fire in his pants. "What do you want to drink?"
"Just-just water," Miya answered hoarsely. His mouth was so dry that the lack of inspiration that prompted such a common reply now felt more like divine intervention. The next moment, there was a plate of grilled fish, kimchi and something unidentified set in front of him. Younha sat down across the table and, much in spite of himself, Miya noticed that she wasn't wearing a bra.
"What will you do today, oppa?"
"... O-oppai?" Miya stuttered, blinking at her stupidly. That had sounded awfully like the Japanese word for "tits" and, thinking he'd been caught staring, he managed to turn even redder.
"No, no, oppa. It's meaning like 'big brother' in Korean," Younha explained, apparently unfazed by his reaction. That was one word he was damn glad she didn't know.
"... Oh." Miya cleared his throat. "I have practice. Until late tonight," he replied, staring down at his food to avoid looking at the nipples smiling at him through her shirt. He swallowed a chopstickful of kimchi to give himself some countenance and opened his mouth to return the question, but his digestive tract suddenly objected to the unexpected spiciness and a violent coughing fit took over him before he could say anything. "You?" he finally managed after downing half of his glass of water, blinking away the tears in his eyes. "Today is your audition, right?"
Younha nodded, obviously still trying to repress laughter. "Yes. I'm nervous, but I'll do my best."
"Good luck," Miya said, clearing his throat for the umpteenth time and going for the fish instead.
"Thank you! I have to get prepared now though. Enjoy your meal," Younha added with a brattish snicker, chasséing past him gracefully. A whiff of summer flowers and citrus fruits then reached his nose, but the scent faded right away, and Miya was left to himself and the burning ache of his groin.
---
It wasn't practice at all that Miya had that night, but he figured that Younha really didn't have to know that he was attending a group blind date. It's not that it was his kind of thing at all- far from it-, but he was running out of excuses to escape Kyohsuke's matchmaking efforts, which had been increasingly insistent. So after dropping by the bank and doing the groceries (curry, natto and apple pie ice cream), Miya had made his way to the izakaya where Kyohsuke and "two nice girls" had been waiting for him.
He'd found them sitting at a table towards the back of the establishment and had immediately felt like he had stumbled into a hairspray ad campaign: the two creatures who flanked Kyohsuke's sides were all hair, makeup and sparkles. They reminded him so much of the typical fauna of Kabuki-chou, the red-light district, that he'd half-expected to be handed a bill by the end of the evening.
Miya had been annoyed right off the bat, and it wasn't just because of the choir of whimpers when he had explained that the reason he was late was because his train had hit someone (he had had to resist the temptation to tell them a tale of disembodied limbs being hauled off the track, just to see their reaction). No, it was rather their badly concealed excitement when they had found out that he was in a band that had gotten to him. He used to like the attention, but not anymore. Not since his being a musician had practically caused his last two breakups, anyway.
For this reason, Miya had been purposedly evasive and generic about the band, and as soon as he had had the chance, he had promptly directed the questions back to the two girls. The evening had immediately taken a turn for the more interesting when he asked what they did as a job. The answer had taken him aback, and yet it had been entirely too predictable:
"Night work," Yui had answered with a mischievous smirk, and Nagisa's cheeks had turned noticeably rosier. Miya had had to make a conscious effort not to stare - he had been wanting to give them the benefit of the doubt, and he couldn't believe he had actually hit the mark when he had thought of hostesses earlier.
On the brighter side of things, it had broken the ice quite effectively, to say the least. The girls had started telling either crude or funny stories from their jobs and, much to his own surprise, Miya was actually enjoying himself. If anything, it was entertaining to sip on his iced tea while watching the others get drunker by the minute (Nagisa had eventually broken into tears while relating her past experience in a topless hostess club), and not have Younha on his mind for once.
... Except that now he was thinking of her again. Miya attempted to take his mind off of her by focusing on the drinking game Yui and Kyohsuke had made up, but he didn't even have time to do that. Yui gave up on an admittedly unfair challenge and instants later, she and Kyohsuke were stumbling out of the pub, holding onto each other's waists.
Left to themselves, Miya and Nagisa decided to leave too after finishing their respective drinks. It took Miya all of his inner strength to stay calm when he realized that Kyohsuke and Yui had left without paying their part of the bill. There was no use in trying to chase them now, so Miya paid for the four of them and led Nagisa outside. Kyohsuke would definitely hear from him first thing in the next morning.
Even at this late hour, the Center Gai was bustling with activity, but Miya and Nagisa mostly kept to themselves while they walked to the station. Nagisa had drunk quite a lot, so Miya let her hold onto his arm for support. When they reached the Shibuya Scramble, she pulled his arm in the direction opposite to the station.
"Say," she started in a whisper, leaning her chin against his shoulder, and she was so close Miya could see the gold particles of her lip gloss glint under the city neons, "don't you wanna take a walk before going home?"
The tone of her voice and the calculated pout on her lips left little doubt - it wasn't just a walk she had in mind. And indeed, it obviously wasn't for some late night window-shopping that she took him to Dougenzaka. Less than half an hour later, Miya was between her legs, thrusting deep inside her, but instead of the rose scent of Nagisa's perfume, Miya could almost smell the bergamot and tangerines - and he felt like a complete asshole for it.
---
Miya miraculously managed to catch the last train home, and the ride did very little to make his evening any better. He felt his cellphone vibrate, but the car was so crowded that he had to stand with someone's elbow pressing into his back for several long minutes before he could even reach into his pocket to have a look at the unread text messages.
Nagisa had sent him a message that read "tonight was sooooo fun! Let's meet again soon (*^-^*)", complete with Lilo & Stitch stationery. He had also received a simple "when will you be home?" from Younha earlier that night. Miya briefly wondered why he hadn't noticed it, but then realized she had mailed him while he had been in the hotel room with Nagisa. Feeling guilty and ashamed, he quickly replied saying that he was well on his way, but by the time the train operator announced his stop, she still hadn't texted back.
The odds were against him, but Miya hoped she would still be up when he finally got home. He stopped by the convenience store to buy a bar of white chocolate and a piece of cheesecake for Younha. He knew there was no use in any sort of apologetic gesture, but he hadn't been able to help it. He then made his way home and, even though he fully expected it, he still felt a pang of sadness when he saw no light shining through the windows of his apartment, a telltale sign that Younha was most probably already asleep.
Then again, maybe it was for the best. He wasn't sure he'd be able to look at her in the eyes after he'd fucked another girl while thinking about her.
Miya didn't bother turning the lights on. He kicked off his shoes, dropped his coat and his hat on the back of a chair, and put the Lawson bag in the fridge. He opted against taking a shower - all he wanted at that point was to sleep. He carefully navigated the bedroom, avoiding the guitars, Younha's motionless figure and the dog curled up next to her before letting himself fall back on his futon with a sigh.
He had just closed his eyes when a small, timid voice called out for him:
"... Oppa?"
"Sorry... Did I wake you up?"
There were shuffling sounds and Miya distinguished her silhouette sitting up in the dark.
"No, I... I couldn't sleep. How was practice?"
Miya lifted his hips off the mattress to reach for the pack of Marlboro Menthol in the back pocket of his jeans. "It was okay," he simply said, feeling for his lighter. There was a long silence during which he tried all of his pockets, then tried them all again before finally locating it. When he lit up the cigarette, the flame sent a short glow through the room - but it was enough for Miya to discern an odd glisten on Younha's cheeks.
"... Younha? Are you crying?"
Younha didn't say anything and pressed both of her hands on her face, but the sound of a sniffle betrayed her. Miya sat up straight. "What's wrong?"
"I failed the audition," Younha finally managed between her palms, her voice cracking on the last syllable.
The audition. How could Miya have possibly forgotten? He'd been too busy feeling sorry for himself to remember that today was Younha's big day, much less ask her about it. He didn't think it was possible for him to feel like even more of an asshole, but there he was.
"I-I'm so sorry," Miya tried. He didn't know what to say or do. Gizmo climbed on Younha's lap to press his muzzle to her face quizzically, and she held him tightly to herself, burying her face in his fur. It was heartbreaking to watch. Several sobs shook her shoulders before Miya finally found it within himself to butt his untouched cigarette in the ashtray and crawl up to her. He feared she'd smell the scent of roses and woman that impregnated his hair and his clothes, but ultimately, he didn't care. He wrapped his arms around her and she leaned against him before momentarily raising her face from the chihuahua's fur.
"They said I'm not enough pretty."
"... What?! They really said that?!" Miya couldn't believe it. As far as he was concerned, she was pretty- beautiful, striking, stunning even- and either way, it seemed completely ridiculous that she'd be foiled by mere appearances, considering her potential. "... Wow. Fucking assholes. It's probably for the best they didn't pick you. Think of how they must treat their artists."
Miya should have known that it wasn't exactly what was on Younha's mind, though. "... Do you think the same?" she asked quietly, scratching Gizmo behind the ears.
"Fuck them. You're pretty. And even more than pretty. You'll show them when you're a star." That got a smile out of her. "... You're definitely cuter when you're not crying, though."
Miya almost instantly felt a sharp pain in his ribs where Younha had punched him. "I was only kidding, you know," he said, trying unsuccessfully to hold back a whimper of pain.
Younha smirked at him. "I know."
"Just making sure," Miya muttered, rubbing his flank. Joke or not, she'd gotten him good. "I bought cheesecake. Want some?" he offered in an attempt for forgiveness, stretching out his arm to grab a tissue and hand it to her.
Gizmo barked happily at the word "cheesecake", wagging his tail enthusiastically. Younha smiled, drying her face with the tissue. "I would love to. Thank you."
Miya got up and offered Younha a hand. "Forget what they said, all right? And do your best at your next audition. You're too talented for no one to take notice."
A bright smile lit up Younha's face at that. She looked like she was about to say something, but Gizmo barked again a couple of times, urgently now, and started to scratch at Miya's pant leg. Younha laughed and led the way to the kitchen. "Let's eat. Someone's getting impatient."
---
The following day, Younha was already back on her feet. It was as though the rejection had given her a reason to get even better and, over the next few days, she drastically reduced her idle time to instead devote it to practice. She now spent most of her time with Miya's small keyboard on her lap, headphones seemingly screwed to her head.
With deadlines fast approaching, Miya was busy mixing the songs for the upcoming single as well as working on some new tracks he had recently written. This meant that they actually spent quite a lot of time together and he enjoyed having her around. He liked to coach her singing and direct her performance, and in return, she was always ready to voice her opinion on what he'd managed to get done that day.
Today was one of those days - both had been working in their respective corner of the room. Miya had spent the last few hours in front of his monitor recording a new demo for the band to hear, when he felt Younha move behind him. She plugged her earbuds into the computer (she didn't need to ask for permission anymore), leaned her arms on his shoulders and rested her chin on the top of his head.
Miya smiled to himself. This meant that she thought it was about time for him to take a break, and she was usually right. He still took the time to adjust a few details here and there, and after a couple of minutes, finally pushed the play button to hear the final result. Miya cringed a bit when he heard himself sing, but that'd have to do until Tatsurou had a chance to record it.
Younha had a different opinion, though. "I like your voice," she said from above his head. Miya could practically hear the smile in her voice, and he felt himself grin. He was quite satisfied with himself and the song was ready for his next meeting with the other members of the band. He put his headphones down on the computer desk, compressed the files he had worked on that day and inserted a blank disc in the computer.
"Are you done? I want to make you listen to something."
"Just give me a sec," Miya said, finalizing the track list before pushing the burn button. "What is it?" He spun the chair around so that he could face her. Younha was sitting back on her futon, holding the small keyboard on her knees.
"I was listening to your album, and I made my own version of a song," Younha explained, looking nervous. "Be nice."
"I'm all ears." Miya leaned back, grinning. She had insisted he let her listen to all of MUCC's music, so he'd lent her their full albums (the demos and minis had been judiciously forgotten). He was curious to hear how MUCC would translate to the piano and to a female voice, and he was expectant to know which song she had chosen. He always loved listening to her either way. Despite how young she was, her playing was surprisingly mature and confident, her voice rich and well controlled, and she was improving at a remarkably fast rate.
There were a couple of false starts when Younha suddenly got cold feet, but the third time around she went through with the song - and Miya's smile vanished when he recognized it. It was Kaeranu Hito. He hadn't expected her to choose one of the most emotionally charged pieces he had ever written, and as he stared at her fingers running along the keys, he found himself hoping that she wouldn't start singing.
She did, however, and Miya felt like her voice awakened new memories within him with each note. When she concluded the song, minutes later, he still didn't know how to react.
"... You don't like it?" Younha asked fearfully after several long seconds of silence.
"It's-not that," Miya started, and he had to clear this throat, "it was amazing. It's just that I haven't heard it in a while." He was fully aware that his excuse didn't quite make sense, and Younha obviously sensed that she had hit a nerve.
"It's a precious song?"
Miya tried an encouraging smile. "I wrote this song about my father. I hadn't thought about him in a long time."
"Where i-is he?" Younha asked, her voice faltering a bit after the first word.
"He died many years ago." Miya couldn't help but laugh when Younha pressed both of her hands on her mouth, wide-eyed. "Don't worry about it! It's been almost twenty years." He chuckled. "Wow, I feel old. Were you even born?"
Younha didn't seem to find his question even remotely funny, though. She was staring resolutely at the keyboard, cheeks red. "I'm sorry. I just thought it was a beautiful song. I didn't know what it was about."
Miya smiled. "I'm glad you sang it. Your version was even better than ours."
"Liar." Her tone was serious, but Miya saw a playful glint in her eyes. "... Do you miss your dad?"
"... I don't know. I haven't really thought about that." He nibbled his bottom lip a bit, gauging his feelings about the matter. "Sometimes I wish he was here. I wonder what he'd say if he saw me now, though."
Younha smiled at him warmly. "I'm sure he'd be really proud of you."
"I certainly hope so. He'd probably scold me for giving such a hard time to my mom though," Miya said, returning the smile. "And you? Do you miss your parents?" he asked out of the blue.
Younha seemed startled by the question, and shrugged a bit. "A little. But when I decided to come to Japan, I knew from the start I can't be with them. So I just try not to think about it."
Miya nodded. "I was eighteen too when I moved to Tokyo. It was a bit of a shock at first, but I got used to it." He blinked when a thought suddenly crossed his mind. "Do your parents know you're here? I mean, living with me?"
He smirked when Younha turned scarlet. "Nnno... They think I'm at a girlfriend's."
Miya chuckled. "You're crazy, you know that?" He got up, leaning in to ruffle her hair as he went to grab a cord to plug the keyboard into his computer. "And you know what? I want you to sing that song again." He attached one of his microphones to the keyboard, grabbed his acoustic guitar and sat back down with the instrument on his lap before opening his music program and setting it up for recording.
Younha gaped at him when she realized what was on his mind. "You're going to record it? That's so embarassing!"
"That's what you get for abusing my hospitality like that," Miya replied with a grin.
"... Your what?"
"For taking you in."
There was a short pause while Younha apparently thought about what he had just said, and she started laughing. "You're stupid!"
"I plead guilty," Miya said, still grinning. He had never especially liked being called stupid, but coming from her, he somehow didn't mind it all that much.
Author: stupeur
Editor: cranperryjuice
Rating: R for sexuality, language, statutory rape.
Pairing: Miya (MUCC) x Younha (Korean singer and actress)
Summary: When Miya decides to help a young, promising singer set foot in the music industry, he has no idea how seriously she will take his offer.
Notes: I think this is a really cute story, despite what the warnings seem to indicate. XD, I'm having so much fun writing those two! They're both amazingly talented and adorable, and the cuteness just goes up exponentially when they're together.
This is set in late 2003-early 2004, between the releases of Zekuu and Kuchiki no Tou, and shortly before Younha's debut. The title comes from Younha's song Password 486 (she sings "You are my secret boy" in it). Younha is Korean, but fluent in Japanese and has a career in both Japan and Korea (click here for a reference pic).
Also, I had already posted some parts, but I decided to break the story down differently and post it again (I also changed some things here and there in the process). This includes what had already been posted and some additional parts, so if you've been reading this story, don't skip this post. 8D, I apologize for the mess! >_<;
---
"Younha? What are you doing here?" Miya wasn't annoyed in the least, but the presence of the girl on his doorstep had genuinely surprised him.
"Hi," she tried hesitatingly. "Let me in?"
That took Miya out of his stupor and he moved out of the way. Only then did he notice the suitcase trailing behind her.
"You're coming right from the airport?" he asked, watching the bright pink luggage roll before him, too stunned to even think about closing the door.
"Yes! I have an audition!" Younha exclaimed excitedly as she took off the scarf that was wrapped around her neck and the bottom half of her face, revealing a bright smile and cheeks reddened by the autumn evening. "Don't worry, it's only for a little time."
"And what exactly is only for a little time?"
"We~ll," she started, nibbling on her bottom lip, and Miya didn't like her tone at all, "you said you'd help me out, so I thought that maybe it's okay if I stay here?" She didn't wait for his reaction and quickly added, "My friend's grandmother is sick so I can't stay at her place, and hotel is too expensive for me..."
Miya had already stopped listening by that point, instead rummaging through his brain for any good reason to refuse. He was only rarely home. His apartment was not that small either - he could easily fit another futon on the bedroom floor. And he definitely could use the company.
"... and I can cook and do some cleaning, and I'm really tiny so you'll never even see m- kiyeoweo!" she suddenly blurted out in Korean, and it took Miya a moment to realize that what had caused her outburst was the small dog that had come into the living room to investigate the guest.
"W-Wait!" Miya exclaimed, but it was far too late already, and he intuitively closed his eyes when he saw her hand stretching towards the chihuahua. He could already imagine her with her fingers severed, unable to play the piano anymore, suing him for ruining her potential career and forcing him to put the dog down.
But there wasn't any growling or cry of pain - only an innocent "why?" coming from the girl, and Miya creaked an eye open to see her cradling Gizmo in her arms like a baby, laughing and turning her face away to spare it from the dog's enthusiastic tongue.
That was the exact point when Miya knew he had no choice but to take Younha in.
---
As strange and unexpected as this impromptu cohabitation was, it was also a breath of fresh air in Miya's everyday life. Even if it meant sacrificing a good portion of his floor space in order to set up the second futon and seeing his bathroom steadily overflow with bottles, makeup palettes and other mysterious artifacts, it would have been a lie to say that he didn't enjoy the company - especially when it was a lively, attractive eighteen-year old girl's.
There was, of course, a whole range of taboos that came with a man and a girl several years younger sharing a two-room apartment without being romantically involved. Even though Miya was careful not to let his friends find out about the new addition in his home, he was glad to provide her with lodging in exchange for her presence and homemade Korean cooking.
Besides, he could take solace in the fact that they weren't actually doing anything.
But no matter how hard he tried to convince himself that he had nothing to feel guilty about, he couldn't quite manage to ease his conscience, especially when he'd get worked up over a bra or a pair of panties peeking out of the laundry basket, or when the sound of water running made him think a little too hard about Younha in the shower.
Or, like this particular morning, when he caught her in panties and his Guns N' Roses t-shirt, stretching an arm up to get a glass from the cupboard, and saw more thigh and buttock than he'd ever have hoped for - and the sight inopportunely manifested itself as a flash of heat that went right to his face.
... And between his legs.
"Good morning!" chimed Younha as Miya awkwardly hurried to sit down. Her complexion had turned to a bright scarlet color when she had noticed him, but much to his dismay, she didn't seem to see it fit to put on a pair of pants or a skirt or something - anything to at least appease the fire in his pants. "What do you want to drink?"
"Just-just water," Miya answered hoarsely. His mouth was so dry that the lack of inspiration that prompted such a common reply now felt more like divine intervention. The next moment, there was a plate of grilled fish, kimchi and something unidentified set in front of him. Younha sat down across the table and, much in spite of himself, Miya noticed that she wasn't wearing a bra.
"What will you do today, oppa?"
"... O-oppai?" Miya stuttered, blinking at her stupidly. That had sounded awfully like the Japanese word for "tits" and, thinking he'd been caught staring, he managed to turn even redder.
"No, no, oppa. It's meaning like 'big brother' in Korean," Younha explained, apparently unfazed by his reaction. That was one word he was damn glad she didn't know.
"... Oh." Miya cleared his throat. "I have practice. Until late tonight," he replied, staring down at his food to avoid looking at the nipples smiling at him through her shirt. He swallowed a chopstickful of kimchi to give himself some countenance and opened his mouth to return the question, but his digestive tract suddenly objected to the unexpected spiciness and a violent coughing fit took over him before he could say anything. "You?" he finally managed after downing half of his glass of water, blinking away the tears in his eyes. "Today is your audition, right?"
Younha nodded, obviously still trying to repress laughter. "Yes. I'm nervous, but I'll do my best."
"Good luck," Miya said, clearing his throat for the umpteenth time and going for the fish instead.
"Thank you! I have to get prepared now though. Enjoy your meal," Younha added with a brattish snicker, chasséing past him gracefully. A whiff of summer flowers and citrus fruits then reached his nose, but the scent faded right away, and Miya was left to himself and the burning ache of his groin.
---
It wasn't practice at all that Miya had that night, but he figured that Younha really didn't have to know that he was attending a group blind date. It's not that it was his kind of thing at all- far from it-, but he was running out of excuses to escape Kyohsuke's matchmaking efforts, which had been increasingly insistent. So after dropping by the bank and doing the groceries (curry, natto and apple pie ice cream), Miya had made his way to the izakaya where Kyohsuke and "two nice girls" had been waiting for him.
He'd found them sitting at a table towards the back of the establishment and had immediately felt like he had stumbled into a hairspray ad campaign: the two creatures who flanked Kyohsuke's sides were all hair, makeup and sparkles. They reminded him so much of the typical fauna of Kabuki-chou, the red-light district, that he'd half-expected to be handed a bill by the end of the evening.
Miya had been annoyed right off the bat, and it wasn't just because of the choir of whimpers when he had explained that the reason he was late was because his train had hit someone (he had had to resist the temptation to tell them a tale of disembodied limbs being hauled off the track, just to see their reaction). No, it was rather their badly concealed excitement when they had found out that he was in a band that had gotten to him. He used to like the attention, but not anymore. Not since his being a musician had practically caused his last two breakups, anyway.
For this reason, Miya had been purposedly evasive and generic about the band, and as soon as he had had the chance, he had promptly directed the questions back to the two girls. The evening had immediately taken a turn for the more interesting when he asked what they did as a job. The answer had taken him aback, and yet it had been entirely too predictable:
"Night work," Yui had answered with a mischievous smirk, and Nagisa's cheeks had turned noticeably rosier. Miya had had to make a conscious effort not to stare - he had been wanting to give them the benefit of the doubt, and he couldn't believe he had actually hit the mark when he had thought of hostesses earlier.
On the brighter side of things, it had broken the ice quite effectively, to say the least. The girls had started telling either crude or funny stories from their jobs and, much to his own surprise, Miya was actually enjoying himself. If anything, it was entertaining to sip on his iced tea while watching the others get drunker by the minute (Nagisa had eventually broken into tears while relating her past experience in a topless hostess club), and not have Younha on his mind for once.
... Except that now he was thinking of her again. Miya attempted to take his mind off of her by focusing on the drinking game Yui and Kyohsuke had made up, but he didn't even have time to do that. Yui gave up on an admittedly unfair challenge and instants later, she and Kyohsuke were stumbling out of the pub, holding onto each other's waists.
Left to themselves, Miya and Nagisa decided to leave too after finishing their respective drinks. It took Miya all of his inner strength to stay calm when he realized that Kyohsuke and Yui had left without paying their part of the bill. There was no use in trying to chase them now, so Miya paid for the four of them and led Nagisa outside. Kyohsuke would definitely hear from him first thing in the next morning.
Even at this late hour, the Center Gai was bustling with activity, but Miya and Nagisa mostly kept to themselves while they walked to the station. Nagisa had drunk quite a lot, so Miya let her hold onto his arm for support. When they reached the Shibuya Scramble, she pulled his arm in the direction opposite to the station.
"Say," she started in a whisper, leaning her chin against his shoulder, and she was so close Miya could see the gold particles of her lip gloss glint under the city neons, "don't you wanna take a walk before going home?"
The tone of her voice and the calculated pout on her lips left little doubt - it wasn't just a walk she had in mind. And indeed, it obviously wasn't for some late night window-shopping that she took him to Dougenzaka. Less than half an hour later, Miya was between her legs, thrusting deep inside her, but instead of the rose scent of Nagisa's perfume, Miya could almost smell the bergamot and tangerines - and he felt like a complete asshole for it.
---
Miya miraculously managed to catch the last train home, and the ride did very little to make his evening any better. He felt his cellphone vibrate, but the car was so crowded that he had to stand with someone's elbow pressing into his back for several long minutes before he could even reach into his pocket to have a look at the unread text messages.
Nagisa had sent him a message that read "tonight was sooooo fun! Let's meet again soon (*^-^*)", complete with Lilo & Stitch stationery. He had also received a simple "when will you be home?" from Younha earlier that night. Miya briefly wondered why he hadn't noticed it, but then realized she had mailed him while he had been in the hotel room with Nagisa. Feeling guilty and ashamed, he quickly replied saying that he was well on his way, but by the time the train operator announced his stop, she still hadn't texted back.
The odds were against him, but Miya hoped she would still be up when he finally got home. He stopped by the convenience store to buy a bar of white chocolate and a piece of cheesecake for Younha. He knew there was no use in any sort of apologetic gesture, but he hadn't been able to help it. He then made his way home and, even though he fully expected it, he still felt a pang of sadness when he saw no light shining through the windows of his apartment, a telltale sign that Younha was most probably already asleep.
Then again, maybe it was for the best. He wasn't sure he'd be able to look at her in the eyes after he'd fucked another girl while thinking about her.
Miya didn't bother turning the lights on. He kicked off his shoes, dropped his coat and his hat on the back of a chair, and put the Lawson bag in the fridge. He opted against taking a shower - all he wanted at that point was to sleep. He carefully navigated the bedroom, avoiding the guitars, Younha's motionless figure and the dog curled up next to her before letting himself fall back on his futon with a sigh.
He had just closed his eyes when a small, timid voice called out for him:
"... Oppa?"
"Sorry... Did I wake you up?"
There were shuffling sounds and Miya distinguished her silhouette sitting up in the dark.
"No, I... I couldn't sleep. How was practice?"
Miya lifted his hips off the mattress to reach for the pack of Marlboro Menthol in the back pocket of his jeans. "It was okay," he simply said, feeling for his lighter. There was a long silence during which he tried all of his pockets, then tried them all again before finally locating it. When he lit up the cigarette, the flame sent a short glow through the room - but it was enough for Miya to discern an odd glisten on Younha's cheeks.
"... Younha? Are you crying?"
Younha didn't say anything and pressed both of her hands on her face, but the sound of a sniffle betrayed her. Miya sat up straight. "What's wrong?"
"I failed the audition," Younha finally managed between her palms, her voice cracking on the last syllable.
The audition. How could Miya have possibly forgotten? He'd been too busy feeling sorry for himself to remember that today was Younha's big day, much less ask her about it. He didn't think it was possible for him to feel like even more of an asshole, but there he was.
"I-I'm so sorry," Miya tried. He didn't know what to say or do. Gizmo climbed on Younha's lap to press his muzzle to her face quizzically, and she held him tightly to herself, burying her face in his fur. It was heartbreaking to watch. Several sobs shook her shoulders before Miya finally found it within himself to butt his untouched cigarette in the ashtray and crawl up to her. He feared she'd smell the scent of roses and woman that impregnated his hair and his clothes, but ultimately, he didn't care. He wrapped his arms around her and she leaned against him before momentarily raising her face from the chihuahua's fur.
"They said I'm not enough pretty."
"... What?! They really said that?!" Miya couldn't believe it. As far as he was concerned, she was pretty- beautiful, striking, stunning even- and either way, it seemed completely ridiculous that she'd be foiled by mere appearances, considering her potential. "... Wow. Fucking assholes. It's probably for the best they didn't pick you. Think of how they must treat their artists."
Miya should have known that it wasn't exactly what was on Younha's mind, though. "... Do you think the same?" she asked quietly, scratching Gizmo behind the ears.
"Fuck them. You're pretty. And even more than pretty. You'll show them when you're a star." That got a smile out of her. "... You're definitely cuter when you're not crying, though."
Miya almost instantly felt a sharp pain in his ribs where Younha had punched him. "I was only kidding, you know," he said, trying unsuccessfully to hold back a whimper of pain.
Younha smirked at him. "I know."
"Just making sure," Miya muttered, rubbing his flank. Joke or not, she'd gotten him good. "I bought cheesecake. Want some?" he offered in an attempt for forgiveness, stretching out his arm to grab a tissue and hand it to her.
Gizmo barked happily at the word "cheesecake", wagging his tail enthusiastically. Younha smiled, drying her face with the tissue. "I would love to. Thank you."
Miya got up and offered Younha a hand. "Forget what they said, all right? And do your best at your next audition. You're too talented for no one to take notice."
A bright smile lit up Younha's face at that. She looked like she was about to say something, but Gizmo barked again a couple of times, urgently now, and started to scratch at Miya's pant leg. Younha laughed and led the way to the kitchen. "Let's eat. Someone's getting impatient."
---
The following day, Younha was already back on her feet. It was as though the rejection had given her a reason to get even better and, over the next few days, she drastically reduced her idle time to instead devote it to practice. She now spent most of her time with Miya's small keyboard on her lap, headphones seemingly screwed to her head.
With deadlines fast approaching, Miya was busy mixing the songs for the upcoming single as well as working on some new tracks he had recently written. This meant that they actually spent quite a lot of time together and he enjoyed having her around. He liked to coach her singing and direct her performance, and in return, she was always ready to voice her opinion on what he'd managed to get done that day.
Today was one of those days - both had been working in their respective corner of the room. Miya had spent the last few hours in front of his monitor recording a new demo for the band to hear, when he felt Younha move behind him. She plugged her earbuds into the computer (she didn't need to ask for permission anymore), leaned her arms on his shoulders and rested her chin on the top of his head.
Miya smiled to himself. This meant that she thought it was about time for him to take a break, and she was usually right. He still took the time to adjust a few details here and there, and after a couple of minutes, finally pushed the play button to hear the final result. Miya cringed a bit when he heard himself sing, but that'd have to do until Tatsurou had a chance to record it.
Younha had a different opinion, though. "I like your voice," she said from above his head. Miya could practically hear the smile in her voice, and he felt himself grin. He was quite satisfied with himself and the song was ready for his next meeting with the other members of the band. He put his headphones down on the computer desk, compressed the files he had worked on that day and inserted a blank disc in the computer.
"Are you done? I want to make you listen to something."
"Just give me a sec," Miya said, finalizing the track list before pushing the burn button. "What is it?" He spun the chair around so that he could face her. Younha was sitting back on her futon, holding the small keyboard on her knees.
"I was listening to your album, and I made my own version of a song," Younha explained, looking nervous. "Be nice."
"I'm all ears." Miya leaned back, grinning. She had insisted he let her listen to all of MUCC's music, so he'd lent her their full albums (the demos and minis had been judiciously forgotten). He was curious to hear how MUCC would translate to the piano and to a female voice, and he was expectant to know which song she had chosen. He always loved listening to her either way. Despite how young she was, her playing was surprisingly mature and confident, her voice rich and well controlled, and she was improving at a remarkably fast rate.
There were a couple of false starts when Younha suddenly got cold feet, but the third time around she went through with the song - and Miya's smile vanished when he recognized it. It was Kaeranu Hito. He hadn't expected her to choose one of the most emotionally charged pieces he had ever written, and as he stared at her fingers running along the keys, he found himself hoping that she wouldn't start singing.
She did, however, and Miya felt like her voice awakened new memories within him with each note. When she concluded the song, minutes later, he still didn't know how to react.
"... You don't like it?" Younha asked fearfully after several long seconds of silence.
"It's-not that," Miya started, and he had to clear this throat, "it was amazing. It's just that I haven't heard it in a while." He was fully aware that his excuse didn't quite make sense, and Younha obviously sensed that she had hit a nerve.
"It's a precious song?"
Miya tried an encouraging smile. "I wrote this song about my father. I hadn't thought about him in a long time."
"Where i-is he?" Younha asked, her voice faltering a bit after the first word.
"He died many years ago." Miya couldn't help but laugh when Younha pressed both of her hands on her mouth, wide-eyed. "Don't worry about it! It's been almost twenty years." He chuckled. "Wow, I feel old. Were you even born?"
Younha didn't seem to find his question even remotely funny, though. She was staring resolutely at the keyboard, cheeks red. "I'm sorry. I just thought it was a beautiful song. I didn't know what it was about."
Miya smiled. "I'm glad you sang it. Your version was even better than ours."
"Liar." Her tone was serious, but Miya saw a playful glint in her eyes. "... Do you miss your dad?"
"... I don't know. I haven't really thought about that." He nibbled his bottom lip a bit, gauging his feelings about the matter. "Sometimes I wish he was here. I wonder what he'd say if he saw me now, though."
Younha smiled at him warmly. "I'm sure he'd be really proud of you."
"I certainly hope so. He'd probably scold me for giving such a hard time to my mom though," Miya said, returning the smile. "And you? Do you miss your parents?" he asked out of the blue.
Younha seemed startled by the question, and shrugged a bit. "A little. But when I decided to come to Japan, I knew from the start I can't be with them. So I just try not to think about it."
Miya nodded. "I was eighteen too when I moved to Tokyo. It was a bit of a shock at first, but I got used to it." He blinked when a thought suddenly crossed his mind. "Do your parents know you're here? I mean, living with me?"
He smirked when Younha turned scarlet. "Nnno... They think I'm at a girlfriend's."
Miya chuckled. "You're crazy, you know that?" He got up, leaning in to ruffle her hair as he went to grab a cord to plug the keyboard into his computer. "And you know what? I want you to sing that song again." He attached one of his microphones to the keyboard, grabbed his acoustic guitar and sat back down with the instrument on his lap before opening his music program and setting it up for recording.
Younha gaped at him when she realized what was on his mind. "You're going to record it? That's so embarassing!"
"That's what you get for abusing my hospitality like that," Miya replied with a grin.
"... Your what?"
"For taking you in."
There was a short pause while Younha apparently thought about what he had just said, and she started laughing. "You're stupid!"
"I plead guilty," Miya said, still grinning. He had never especially liked being called stupid, but coming from her, he somehow didn't mind it all that much.