Things that make me happy!
Cons
First fun thing is that 221B Con is happening next week!
Last year I went down to Timegate because I was homesick for Atlanta. I dressed as Sherlock instead of a Doctor Who character and ended up finding a bunch of fun people. We bonded a lot and this was when 221B Con was formed. So even though I'm not officially one of the organizers, I still feel very much a part of it. It's way surpassed any expectations, the hotel is sold out!
I am also excited for Thursday night at The Brickstore Pub. It will be nice to hang there again and get to see people.
And I am EXTREMELY excited to hang with Jeanne and Tiffany! I miss being around other small girls all the time. It'll also be awesome to see everyone else! And to meet new people!
Also, my friend James is starting a convention in Chicago. Downtown Chicago, to be precise. If we get it even close to my goal for this con, it'll be AMAZING because I am nothing if not opinionated about what works and doesn't work at cons! I will post more news about this throughout the year, I'm sure. My first major contribution is already in planning process and has the potential to be a huge crowd draw. And I am also proud of convincing everyone that a fandom track would be good. I know it will have a big draw and I've not really seen it done at any of the cons I go to.
I am currently trying to plan out various trips for this year, but it's hard with my current rent. I need to find a cheaper place. Lisa and Shira and I are looking into renting a house or condo. I am a bit nervous that it'll be too far from public transit or not cheap enough to make the extra commute time worth it. But we'll see.
Creative stuff
I'm doing some illustrations for a book and I am excited about it!
I also got specifically asked to write for a fan-made rpg game! They've got this application/audition process, so I didn't bother doing it because I thought "no way they'd want me" and then I get this message that multiple people had recommended me for the job and then they read my writing and decided they wanted me! I am so flattered I could explode! In fact, they sent me additional info on it and the job actually looks like it was tailor-made for me! It's not going to pay, but it could be a good gateway to other gigs, and it will be really fun.
I also have a thing I wrote for a book about the new Doctor Who. It's currently in the publishing process. That'll double my published writing.
[Sorry for being vague, but I don't know how much I'm allowed to say on most of them and I know I'm not allowed to talk about one of them.]
I feel like comedy writing is something that I've always wanted to pursue, but none of the classes I've taken up here have fit my style. I hated the writing class at IO because it was like they wanted me to be cookie cutter with the rest. My jokes missed their mark and were not appreciated, and everything they taught toward was so negative. Everyone had to insult everything, but that's not my style. I think my humor comes from how much I genuinely enjoy the world and can find something positive about any situation. My favorite characters to play are ones that are happy or nice, but that's not what the teachers wanted. I think I am progressing as a writer more on my own. But I think maybe I will look around for a creative writing class. Maybe one that's more free form, because I am enjoying this. Imagine how cool it would be to get to write personal interest pieces? It's basically what I did on LJ for most of my time here. Storytelling with pictures and in my own format.
Health
I've realized that up here in Chicago I get seasonal depression really hard. No, that's not a good thing, but realizing it IS a good thing. I have dealt with my tendency toward depression my whole life. This might be oversharing, but as young as 8 I was having suicidal thoughts. But when I was 14 and my dad got sick and died, it was the trigger that snapped me out of it and I've steeled myself against it ever since. I know when I need to be on guard and when I can relax. Or I thought I did. Now I know and I can better prepare myself for it next winter. I made the decision when I was 14 to do this without the help of anti-depressants and I have managed, sometimes well, sometimes struggling, but mostly with great success. It's not easy, but to me it beats the alternative. I have not suffered any long term depressions since then, only brief lapses, and I will continue to do so. I believe I have this under control.
I also had a horrible slap in the face when someone sent me info on Covert Schizoids/secret schizoids
Schizoid personality disorder (SPD) is a personality disorder characterized by a lack of interest in social relationships, a tendency towards a solitary lifestyle, secretiveness, emotional coldness and apathy.
You may not recognize that as me, but reading the in-depth info they sent me, it made me cry to see what I thought was my unique (yet sometimes frustrating to me ) personality written out in a dry medical text. It even had my sexual apathy, obsession with fictional characters, and the world in my head. I have been keeping this secret since then, but I figured I would just put in here and get it out of my head, and then maybe years from now I will look back on it and laugh at how much of an idiot I was.
BUT
I feel great, body-wise. I have been slacking on exercise, but a majority of my food that I eat is raw veggies, fruits, and nuts. It's not all I eat, but it's my favorite. I've been forcing myself to grocery shop more often. My unhealthy eating comes from laziness. It's so much easier to stock up on crap that has a longer shelf life. But when it's available, I will always prefer veggies to anything else.
I just went and picked up my tooth whitening trays from the dentist. I am glad to have them and excited to be actively doing something to fix something that bothers me. I know my teeth aren't bad, but they're darker than I would want them and I am always vaguely aware of that. So I am proud that I am taking steps. Also the dentist gave me them for free for getting so much work done. I'm also proud of myself for getting all that work done. And it was a nice little bonus that all the dental assistants were excited to see me. It's always such a lovely feeling to remember that people genuinely like me. Especially now that I'm waking up from my season depression.
I've also been working my way through both daily to-do lists and life to-do lists. I've been working on getting better at digital art, and feel like I am hitting my stride again. I've stopped trying to make myself be what I want me to be and instead let myself be me. I can work for goals, but I need to work for the goals I want, not the ones I want to want.
Everyone's always expected me to go off and get famous, all my life, but I don't really care about that. If it's meant to be, it'll happen. But you know what? I won't be upset if it doesn't happen. Accepting that my goals are more just to have fun with friends and live a more casual life is important. Smaller goals are not worth less, they're just more easily attainable.
This is a reminder that life can be wonderful and that sometimes just actively deciding to avoid being mean or negative each day makes a huge difference. Don't sweat the small stuff, don't let the big stuff get you down either. Concentrate on the good things. Love your life and don't let other people's opinions get to you for too long. It'll get to you, but try to shrug it off quickly.