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[stupidfool]

i'm having a rough time. it's been just over a week since my surgery now. my dad had been here taking care of me, but he left 6 hours ago or so. since then, i've been watching tv and feeling like a huge loser. i'm not sure who's to blame

Comments

[ineverycolor]

Hey! I've been a little swamped this week with everything so I missed your poll. I still would like to remain LJ friends if you wish! :-)

[stupidfool]

thanks! i would--i was really sad i wouldn't get to hear about baby gabriel's integration into your home of kitties! :-)

[tragic_4]

Awww lovebug!

I totally know how you feel though. I think a lot of the bad feeling is circumstantial. Like I felt the same way after I got dumped then moved across the country. There were a few people who REALLY stepped up, and I was thankful for that, but I think it was just the fact that in addition to what had just happened I had so much sudden free and alone time that really got to me, and I felt so miserable! Now that I'm totally busy though, I feel less alone, even though no one is necessarily contacting me any more frequently than they were when I felt like I was miserable, alone and a loser.(In fact, I am slightly relieved that people aren't contacting me more often, and when they do (like, phil) I am actually slightly annoyed.) So, I realize that I am being somewhat hypcritical...when I am alone and lonely, am pissed that people don't contact me, but when I am busy, I am pissed if they do?

In any case, I love you and I don't know what I would ever do without you!! :-)

[stupidfool]

i know this isn't supposed to be funny, but is it bad that the line "after I got dumped then moved across the country" made me laugh? maybe just because that's so much drama compared to a stupid hip surgery...

anyway, i think you're definitely right about keeping busy. it's just hard to keep busy around the house on crutches, and without friends, i can't get out of the house! but some people are stepping up, and this is only temporary...

[tragic_4]

lol...I mean I guess that sentence made it sound even more dramatic, as if the dumping and moving were related :p

But exactly! The feeling of being a loser is definitely temporary, and in your case you know you still have friends even though you might feel temporarily ignored (where as when I got dumped and moved across the country at that time I really thought there was a high possibility I might never have friends again!)

[gindaisy]

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. :( The only thing I can think of is that they might think they're bothering you if you haven't contacted them. But after a week that excuse doesn't really hold up.

[stupidfool]

yeah, i guess it's rough to be on the other side too, because if we're not super close, you could be worried about bugging yourself on me... and part of it could be my fault too, because some people have asked me if i needed anything, and i say no. if i desperately needed like toilet paper or something, i think i'd feel more ok about answering and telling them the truth, and it'd be a simple favor... it's harder to say, 'no, but i could really use some company and to get out of the house, if you want to drive over here and entertain me,' because then i just feel whiny and needy!

[stupidfool]

it may be several weeks, still! it's been a little over a week, and they're saying it will be 3-4 weeks total before i can walk and drive again!!

[raks_rambleings]

Aww Hun part of this is surgury blues I also think because your caring and you try your friends now think its up to you. Theres nothing wrong with asking them for help and at that point if its a problem then I think you should reconsider whose in your life..
It could also be an age thing too younger peoples are much more self centered these days..

[stupidfool]

yeah, i think you're definitely right about this. younger people can be nice, when the opportunity to be nice is obvious to them, but i think in general, they're much more flaky and focused only on what's in front of them... does it make me old, if i can say this? i swear i was never like that...