Keep your broken arm inside your sleeve, where the maggots cannot feed upon it.

A door without handles is merely a wall. Or a hole. Or a weird window.

A slave with no master is free, but a master with no slave is lazy and bitter, with a soft, oily body and bad hair, complaining to the dog, who could not care less.

A gem cannot be polished without friction. Nor can boils. Nor testicles.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will starve before mastering the skill, thus saving you today's delicious fish.

A bird does not sing because it has an answer. It sings because it's insane.

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Nobody likes me,
everybody hates me,
I guess I'll go eat der fire wyrms!

I had an awesome night watching Red Dwarf and having curry, all thanks to a wonderful girl named frozbotThe last time I had curry that good was the last time I watched Red Dwarf. Which was years ago. Yum! Thanks, Saffron ( Read more... )

Wow.