[fic] wanna be my lover?
Title: Wanna Be My Lover?
Pairing: Kanda, Lavi
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: DGM belongs to Hoshino Katsura et al
A/N: High school AU Flashback!; the three times Lavi has tried (and failed!) to seduce Kanda.
&
Kanda had been coming into World History class the first time he'd had The Unfortunate Encounter. It's not as if he was up to no good. Rather, he was minding his own business as usual, working up the nerve to attend class without smacking someone upside the head for trying to cause a wide-scale panic about the current menu in the dining hall. Truth be told, he wasn't being a religious practitioner of Patience on that given day. Truth be told, he gave up the religion at birth.
Because when that fucking loon bounded through the door, books stacked yay high (to his nostrils), Kanda had suddenly wanted to smack a bitch. Only this time, it might have been uncalled for in such a trivial way that really, he didn't know why he should be bothered. (Still, he wanted contact of some kind and it was already killing him.) He found it quite inconvenient to be sitting all on his lonesome in the sea of desks.
The smug idiot was wearing a smug expression that made the trigger inside Kanda go off ever so silently.
"Mind if I sit here, doll? These are the only seats not taken." (Yeah, for good reason, you - )
"The hell did you call me?"
The idiot blinked, rubbed his eyes*, and promptly moved closer with his desk. There was no longer an aisle between them and Kanda was slowly recoiling.
"You're a dude!"
Many eavesdropping classmates laughed themselves into a foul pile in the next few seconds. The teacher called the class to order - after laughing himself to death as well. Kanda sent them all, including the teacher, a swift glare before resettling: he all but kicked that desk away (and failed to put some distance between them). He sunk into his seat and focused on blowing the school to pieces.
That idiot kept talking and jabbering and essentially blowing air. Something about Kanda's hair and when was the last time he had it cut, if he's full Asian, if he's ever heard of manga, and if he's ever read Deathnote.**
"D'ya got a pretty sister? Is her number the same as yours?" he added, and unfortunately Kanda had been paying attention.
"Who are you calling pretty?!" And just like that, the trigger was broken and all Kanda could do was look for something to throw. And, well, throw it. Trust him to resort to extreme violence.
The idiot fell out of his seat in an attempt to evade him; the stack of books (were these all for one class?!) showered over them as the The Biggest Idiot in Idiot Kingdom pulled Kanda down with him. So much for evasion.
Not a happy start, not a happy start at all. ("Mister Kanda - A mister Lavi Bookman, is it? Kindly enlighten the class as to why you both are currently having inappropriate relations in the middle of my classroom? Yes, Mister Kanda, we should always keep our hands to ourselves, shouldn't we? Now please shake hands with Mister Bookman so we can continue our lesson.")***
*Green. Very Green Eyes made Kanda's inner trigger hesitate. But they always make Kanda's inner trigger hesitate.
**Now why would Kanda ever read something so chock full of gloom and doom and really cool evil people and yes Kanda knows how utterly brilliant though however skullfucked the writer must be, thanks, don't spoil, please.
***Apparently the teacher had not read the manual on How To Properly Instruct (And Punish) Your Kanda Yuu.
&
The second time he met that Lavi Bookman had been a close second to Culture Shock; a grand detour from Unfortunate Encounter. If you must know, Kanda had been in the empty showers slash empty wall changing out of his track uniform. Had to be Overtly Cautious. Gulping down his vitamin water, he could hear someone padding around near the lockers on the other side. Okay. So. The whole point of a team is to have other members. It wasn't something to fear (most of the time)*.
Stepping into the open, and then unwisely deciding to stoop over to tie his shoe**, he saw those familiar army boots stop beside him, and then he felt the idiot owner of those army boots touch (touching) his shoulder. Kanda willed himself not to shiver-shudder-quiver - but he did it anyway. Damn himself. He shot upward and made himself look like he was a fucking force to be reckoned with. Meaning, don't ever -
The sight of Lavi with a swollen lip made him fall into foreign waters inside. - touch me. Thus the fear was here.
He couldn't help his staring. Really, he thought about gouging out his own eyes to stop. He thought about a lot of things. Things like how did you get that?, I probably already know why, I hope you hurt, do you want to get some tea with me?, now my shoulder's itchy. Obviously he just had to reach his senses in time.
"What do you want, punk-ass."
Bookman grinned, winced, and laughed. "Wanna get something to eat? Practice has left me starvin' for some bovine."
"Isn't that obvious." Though it really wasn't. Bookman had that I-need-excuses-and-bad look. It was so transparent, even at that stage in the relat - hatred. He was trying too hard. But that was good. Kanda wanted that.
Hold it. No he did not.***
"Well, yeah. So come have a . . . bite with me," Bookman continued, swinging his arms up and behind his head. He leaned onto one foot. As treacherous as uncertainty, Kanda was no stranger.
He went through the ordeal of astral projection and wished he would slap himself into a coma. Fact remained; he couldn't. He wouldn't. Hence, he was in deep. Deep as heaven is out of reach. [Details of the, for lack of an appropriate word, date, remain classified to the public.]
*You have no idea how much self-therapy Kanda had to go through in order to cope.
**He coped by buying himself a new pair of Converse. He never loved manufactured goods so much.
***You should know by now that Kanda Yuu goes through periods of Periodic Self-Denial. It's a process, you see.
&
And the third time? You must be curious (stupidly so). Well, Kanda wasn't curious. But he was well-acquainted with harsh circumstances by now, Unfortunate Experiences being high up there. So high up, Kanda had started to wonder, simply, if he was destined to die of excessive eardrum damage. If that was even possible. If it was, please let it be soon? (Maybe he should have asked his brother.)
"And I said to her, I said, Mizz Lotto, despite your lifetime vow to self-deprecation and dutiful mutilation, you are my goddess - "
"Do you think it's possible to die from excessive eardrum damage?" Kanda interrupted him on their walk home from school, cheeks growing pink.*
Bookman tapped his chin then scratched it. "Always a possibility."
"Do you think it's possible for you to listen to yourself?" He was starting to feel less of a tactile conviction as time went on.
"Nah, chances are slim to none."
"And it's Miss Lotto. As far as I know, she's unmarried." (And probably will remain so at this rate.)
"That's what she said." Bookman winked** at Kanda before hugging his messenger bag to his chest and bounding away. "Catch me if ya can!"
Now, you must be thinking, silly misguided Kanda, why on earth would you put so much store into this one experience? What is the difference between the first example and this last one? And, most of all, are you daft, man?
Well, personal opinion aside, Kanda ran after Bookman because Bookman was begging for it. Because Kanda had consequently followed Bookman to his renovated old flat, which he had then Entered (and Engaged in Acts Previously Unknown to Kandakind)***.
Where they had brushed egos (and more of the highly volatile nature). Where they had kept their witty tongues to a minimum, causing them a much debated Unresolved Sexual Tension in the end. The following three weeks featured no solid contact whatsoever until that fateful day at the track, with Lenalee and her illegal drugs, with Bookman and his disillusioning come-ons . . . Um.
The question is: is Kanda daft? The answer is: no, he is just a sucker who happened to be manipulated and beguiled and absolutely shaken to the core by this man-eater of men (and women, seemingly). He was a fool for changing his favorite color from blue to green.
In case you hadn't noticed, it was the beginning of a beautiful seduction stalkership.****
*Someone once told him that foolish love is still love, and that the foolish part of it is fleeting. Uh, yeah, only Froi Theodore would come up with crazy batshit like that.
**That winking. On more than one occasion, Kanda thought about hitting him there. And then he did.
***Tch, as if you should expect Kanda of all people to just say, "Yeah, we fucked and then lived happily ever after." Kanda is not that easy, people. Give the lad some credit.
****You know, come to think of it, Kanda was pretty much screwed.
Pairing: Kanda, Lavi
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: DGM belongs to Hoshino Katsura et al
A/N: High school AU Flashback!; the three times Lavi has tried (and failed!) to seduce Kanda.
&
Kanda had been coming into World History class the first time he'd had The Unfortunate Encounter. It's not as if he was up to no good. Rather, he was minding his own business as usual, working up the nerve to attend class without smacking someone upside the head for trying to cause a wide-scale panic about the current menu in the dining hall. Truth be told, he wasn't being a religious practitioner of Patience on that given day. Truth be told, he gave up the religion at birth.
Because when that fucking loon bounded through the door, books stacked yay high (to his nostrils), Kanda had suddenly wanted to smack a bitch. Only this time, it might have been uncalled for in such a trivial way that really, he didn't know why he should be bothered. (Still, he wanted contact of some kind and it was already killing him.) He found it quite inconvenient to be sitting all on his lonesome in the sea of desks.
The smug idiot was wearing a smug expression that made the trigger inside Kanda go off ever so silently.
"Mind if I sit here, doll? These are the only seats not taken." (Yeah, for good reason, you - )
"The hell did you call me?"
The idiot blinked, rubbed his eyes*, and promptly moved closer with his desk. There was no longer an aisle between them and Kanda was slowly recoiling.
"You're a dude!"
Many eavesdropping classmates laughed themselves into a foul pile in the next few seconds. The teacher called the class to order - after laughing himself to death as well. Kanda sent them all, including the teacher, a swift glare before resettling: he all but kicked that desk away (and failed to put some distance between them). He sunk into his seat and focused on blowing the school to pieces.
That idiot kept talking and jabbering and essentially blowing air. Something about Kanda's hair and when was the last time he had it cut, if he's full Asian, if he's ever heard of manga, and if he's ever read Deathnote.**
"D'ya got a pretty sister? Is her number the same as yours?" he added, and unfortunately Kanda had been paying attention.
"Who are you calling pretty?!" And just like that, the trigger was broken and all Kanda could do was look for something to throw. And, well, throw it. Trust him to resort to extreme violence.
The idiot fell out of his seat in an attempt to evade him; the stack of books (were these all for one class?!) showered over them as the The Biggest Idiot in Idiot Kingdom pulled Kanda down with him. So much for evasion.
Not a happy start, not a happy start at all. ("Mister Kanda - A mister Lavi Bookman, is it? Kindly enlighten the class as to why you both are currently having inappropriate relations in the middle of my classroom? Yes, Mister Kanda, we should always keep our hands to ourselves, shouldn't we? Now please shake hands with Mister Bookman so we can continue our lesson.")***
*Green. Very Green Eyes made Kanda's inner trigger hesitate. But they always make Kanda's inner trigger hesitate.
**Now why would Kanda ever read something so chock full of gloom and doom and really cool evil people and yes Kanda knows how utterly brilliant though however skullfucked the writer must be, thanks, don't spoil, please.
***Apparently the teacher had not read the manual on How To Properly Instruct (And Punish) Your Kanda Yuu.
&
The second time he met that Lavi Bookman had been a close second to Culture Shock; a grand detour from Unfortunate Encounter. If you must know, Kanda had been in the empty showers slash empty wall changing out of his track uniform. Had to be Overtly Cautious. Gulping down his vitamin water, he could hear someone padding around near the lockers on the other side. Okay. So. The whole point of a team is to have other members. It wasn't something to fear (most of the time)*.
Stepping into the open, and then unwisely deciding to stoop over to tie his shoe**, he saw those familiar army boots stop beside him, and then he felt the idiot owner of those army boots touch (touching) his shoulder. Kanda willed himself not to shiver-shudder-quiver - but he did it anyway. Damn himself. He shot upward and made himself look like he was a fucking force to be reckoned with. Meaning, don't ever -
The sight of Lavi with a swollen lip made him fall into foreign waters inside. - touch me. Thus the fear was here.
He couldn't help his staring. Really, he thought about gouging out his own eyes to stop. He thought about a lot of things. Things like how did you get that?, I probably already know why, I hope you hurt, do you want to get some tea with me?, now my shoulder's itchy. Obviously he just had to reach his senses in time.
"What do you want, punk-ass."
Bookman grinned, winced, and laughed. "Wanna get something to eat? Practice has left me starvin' for some bovine."
"Isn't that obvious." Though it really wasn't. Bookman had that I-need-excuses-and-bad look. It was so transparent, even at that stage in the relat - hatred. He was trying too hard. But that was good. Kanda wanted that.
Hold it. No he did not.***
"Well, yeah. So come have a . . . bite with me," Bookman continued, swinging his arms up and behind his head. He leaned onto one foot. As treacherous as uncertainty, Kanda was no stranger.
He went through the ordeal of astral projection and wished he would slap himself into a coma. Fact remained; he couldn't. He wouldn't. Hence, he was in deep. Deep as heaven is out of reach. [Details of the, for lack of an appropriate word, date, remain classified to the public.]
*You have no idea how much self-therapy Kanda had to go through in order to cope.
**He coped by buying himself a new pair of Converse. He never loved manufactured goods so much.
***You should know by now that Kanda Yuu goes through periods of Periodic Self-Denial. It's a process, you see.
&
And the third time? You must be curious (stupidly so). Well, Kanda wasn't curious. But he was well-acquainted with harsh circumstances by now, Unfortunate Experiences being high up there. So high up, Kanda had started to wonder, simply, if he was destined to die of excessive eardrum damage. If that was even possible. If it was, please let it be soon? (Maybe he should have asked his brother.)
"And I said to her, I said, Mizz Lotto, despite your lifetime vow to self-deprecation and dutiful mutilation, you are my goddess - "
"Do you think it's possible to die from excessive eardrum damage?" Kanda interrupted him on their walk home from school, cheeks growing pink.*
Bookman tapped his chin then scratched it. "Always a possibility."
"Do you think it's possible for you to listen to yourself?" He was starting to feel less of a tactile conviction as time went on.
"Nah, chances are slim to none."
"And it's Miss Lotto. As far as I know, she's unmarried." (And probably will remain so at this rate.)
"That's what she said." Bookman winked** at Kanda before hugging his messenger bag to his chest and bounding away. "Catch me if ya can!"
Now, you must be thinking, silly misguided Kanda, why on earth would you put so much store into this one experience? What is the difference between the first example and this last one? And, most of all, are you daft, man?
Well, personal opinion aside, Kanda ran after Bookman because Bookman was begging for it. Because Kanda had consequently followed Bookman to his renovated old flat, which he had then Entered (and Engaged in Acts Previously Unknown to Kandakind)***.
Where they had brushed egos (and more of the highly volatile nature). Where they had kept their witty tongues to a minimum, causing them a much debated Unresolved Sexual Tension in the end. The following three weeks featured no solid contact whatsoever until that fateful day at the track, with Lenalee and her illegal drugs, with Bookman and his disillusioning come-ons . . . Um.
The question is: is Kanda daft? The answer is: no, he is just a sucker who happened to be manipulated and beguiled and absolutely shaken to the core by this man-eater of men (and women, seemingly). He was a fool for changing his favorite color from blue to green.
In case you hadn't noticed, it was the beginning of a beautiful seduction stalkership.****
*Someone once told him that foolish love is still love, and that the foolish part of it is fleeting. Uh, yeah, only Froi Theodore would come up with crazy batshit like that.
**That winking. On more than one occasion, Kanda thought about hitting him there. And then he did.
***Tch, as if you should expect Kanda of all people to just say, "Yeah, we fucked and then lived happily ever after." Kanda is not that easy, people. Give the lad some credit.
****You know, come to think of it, Kanda was pretty much screwed.