[fic] cheap & juicy! (lavi/allen)
Title: Cheap & Juicy!
Pairing: Lavi/Allen
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: DGM belongs to Hoshino Katsura et al, "That Time" lyrics by Regina Spektor.
A/N: High School AU Flashback!; Lavi and Allen discuss water conservation. Not.
&
(It has been a sweltering summer thus far.)
Hey, remember that time when I would only read - Shake. Speare, Lavi sings to himself, growing restless, not to mention sooo bored by all this waiting around with his pants around his ankles. Not. Which is a travesty if he ever felt one. He's already rearranged all of Allen's piano notes and tucked a bit of clotted cream in between Allen's beddings. Now that all the fun has passed, oh woe ponderosa. He will be obliged to outdo himself now. Lavi goes to the kitchen to fetch a few pastries whilst he is at it, uberly thankful that Cross is out on a date with his big-titted (e-eesh) Maria Carolina. Oops. He thinks a lie.
It is Maria Margarita. With very big tits and a half more. They must need to be bribed into her tops, that's for sure. Puckered in there.
He is not very briefly wondering about the size of her nipples when his ears suddenly lock on the plumbing. In particular, the sounds the plumbing is making. He shivers. Yessss. If his ears dare not deceive him, it may be time for a perfectly awesome execution. It is like the shower is calling his name; it is that omnipoetic.
Me - ee - sshhh - kakakakaka.*
Unless that is just his own mind, but who cares? Only he, and he only cares about one thing.
Experimentaciooon, bebe, and stuff like viva la vida! Corral those mamacitas! Or moochi chachi burritos, if you will.
"Oh Alleeen," Lavi calls through the bathroom door, giving himself a hop to inject some vigor into his voice. (He has been in such a dumpy mood lately, wouldn't you know it? He swears he is not himself, honest. He is very rarely this fidgety.)
"Do you need something? It's unlocked!" Allen says, shower curtain crinkling. Then he curses a bit over dropped soap. A few more curses about Lavi possibly leaving a few gifts in his room as well. As if Lavi would ever stoop that low. Pff, gifts? Haa . . .
Well, he's not too far off, is he? That hoodwinking sonuvagunnn -
Lavi doesn't announce himself, just slips in and eases the door shut. Sssshhhhh goes the shower head. He steps barefoot onto the tiles, listening to Allen singing the melody he'd been playing earlier on his new and improved piano. A very dramatic Chopin. But nobody can be raising hairs about it until Allen starts going to recitals in his birthday suit.
And so, in accordance to the scheme of things . . .
"Whatcha starin' at?" Lavi pipes, stepping into the shower in his birthday suit. Allen screams a quite delayed reaction, completely breaking the beat. He is all wiry with the razor. Eh? Put it down, just put it down.
"Oy, brat, I don't believe that's how the song goes," Lavi continues, giving him a what are you twelve? look.
Allen gets over the shock pretty quickly, though, face flushed and back practically shoved toward Lavi. "Mind, may I ask why you have shocked the life out of me? I thought I'd been hallucinating at first!"
Snort. "Just thought I'd get in on the action, y'know, proaction with all that water conservation-preservation shit. Gotta be Britain-friendly. Save water, shower with a friend." (Because all icons on Livejournal should say this.)
"Yes, because that is quite a lot of shit."
"Is this a naughty word I hear?"
Allen reaches behind himself to fend Lavi off. "Out of my shower, beefsteak."
After a decibel of a second, they both squeal out, "Beefsteak? Beefsteakiiiie."
Ah ha, ah ha, inside joke, ah ha.
Then Lavi gets back to routine by licking the droplets from Allen's finger that was still held out to him in midair, and consequently, Allen cannot be rewarded for originality; he has taken it upon himself to protect his assets at all costs by shrinking a haughty inch away so that he's standing directly beneath the shower head, water drowning his head off. Lavi laughs and pulls the curtain further closed around them. This only encourages Allen to get very close and personal with the shower wall. Lavi giggles, in a manly way, of course.
Allen giggles at the wall, in not such a manly way, of course. "Good grief, it's not funny. You're not supposed to be in here. You're really like a skank and it's really quite bothersome. Shoo?"
What a laugh he is!
Lavi immediately turns on the silent charm. Which is all about the (groundbreaking) silence, yes, how did you know?
Allen folds his arms impatiently and rests his forehead against the wall. He shifts from one foot to the other. The muscles in his back squirm.
"I'll treat you like the little prince," Lavi adds, because this should make all the difference once you put your mind to it.
"Ugh! That is not very nice in the sense that it is too nice. What about this water shortage, you were saying? I was sweating from all the playing earlier, so I had to get clean. Don't put me on the wrong spot for it, please." Then there is some teeth gnashing and chittish antsiness.
Lavi laughs like a dirty old man and Allen glances over his shoulder in a state of confuzzlement. He shares an uncompromising look with Lavi.
Which means he compromises by letting Lavi do what he will. Ah, free reign at last! The Dirty Old Man Laugh has still got it!
"But so long as you wash my back, 'kay?" Allen says crankily.
"What's this? Your front is off-limits? Aghast!"
"Well," Allen pauses, turning around to hand Lavi the soap and washcloth, "unless you fancy it when Lena kicks you in yours . . . "
Lavi considers this, though he has considered it a million and one times before. Nonetheless, the trouble might be all worth it. Especially if she never finds out.
"Awe, so cute and cranky! I cannot bear the gravitational pull! Beam me in, Scotty!"
"Yes, yes you can. Bear it with all your might! Scotty?" Allen pats himself on the back as if Lavi might have forgotten where it is generally located on the human body. He's inspecting his previously licked finger carefully, as carefully as one can under a wall of water.
"Hey, step back, closer to me," Lavi says, moving the soapy cloth in circles. It's like washing (polishing very wetly) a car. A very young, British, nimble-fingered car. If a car had fingers. Some might, in future.
You know it's coming.
Lavi adjusts the water down to a light sprinkle. Soapy soapy soap. And cloth. And backside. Allen's backside. Meets soapy soap. From Lavi's fingers. With a light sprinkle. (Smiling, smiling tightly. Imposing tightly.)
But when you get down to it, crack that eggshell, follow the happy trail - Allen is unlike Kanda in that Allen's Alice-ish world is like, sayonara kendo club, top o' the morning to teatime. Except Kanda also tends to live, eat, and breathe for teatime, so Lavi is at a loss with that. He probably would even die for teatime. Twice. And once more to preserve his pride.
Also, why is Lavi thinking about Kanda like this? He should not be moping over his hardassed lover. Especially not right now when Lavi is busy (not) cheating on him.
He is not two-timing anybody.
"So does this mean, slightly, perhaps, well you know," Allen says.
"I know everything. But elaborate for my pulsating pleasures." Rub wash rub, rubbadubdub.
Lavi can see Allen's head shaking from side to side slightly. No no don't be a sado sport no. "That, you know."
"Forgive me if I'm right, but what are you lugging on about, mon faerie."
"Lavi. Your hand is on my bum?"
"Oh my! How did it get there?!"
"That is what I'm lugging on about."
"Are you callin' me a flaming nancy boy?! 'Cause I resemble that remark."
"Er, actually, no - but I should, I should. Are you playing the rogue charlatan again?"
"Er." Lavi squeezes out the cloth away from the water spray. "What would give you an idea like that?" In order to make Allen a believer, he nuzzles him in the underarm. He wonders what Allen had been up to with the razor earlier. A nuzzle turns into a quick peek. Down.
They hear a sound from outside, which makes Allen flinch - or perhaps it is because Lavi's hand is now fondling his bum.
It makes for a difficult guess.
Allen spits out water at the wall. "I always try to remain respectful of my surroundings, but no doubt I will fart on you. Erg."
Actually, he probably means it, if past has proved to be an indicator.
Lavi forges ahead anyway, patting that bum. (He's not really giving it his all. He's trying, but he can't seem to . . . give a shove to the push.) And so to commemorate this fine-weathered day, Lavi soaps that little ass.
(It really is little, even for a fourteen-year-old. Those candy bars will definitely have to catch up with him someday.) Lalala brokeback miniature mountainssss.
"It's not considered cheating, ya know," Lavi lies, just barely. Hardly.
"Hmmmm?" Allen says, looking quite immersed in all the soapifying.
"Don'tchoo know the feeling?"
"You'd be surprised," Allen hums, putting his hands on his head as if to say I surrender, take me now, mon best pally slash groovy derby policeman!
Lavi doesn't have to confess that he is very much surprised. Very, very much. So much so that he is a bit inclined to say, "A-aha? Sure, I would. I've always been a fan of you knowin' more than you let on. Like a succubus, you are."
There is a hush of the water, trickle trickle, jokers sniveling at them like the biggest joke de cosmic applique. Lavi looks to the right, at the curtain. He looks to the left. At the wall, even, where walls have eyes and ears for nuances that are supposed to remain secret. And private, for that matter. This is a private matter. Phwoar, can two humans ever be alone?
"I really hope Kanda can read mind signals," Allen says, as if reading Lavi's mind, "or hormones, in your case. That way, he will - "
Allen is turning around, one arm dropped to his side for the cloth, other hand still on his head, when Lavi gets it in his groin to snog the life out of him, or in the least, kiss him pretty. Lavi is kissing him, just a small peck, no harm, no foul, no cheating hormones necessary. He is pressing into the corner of that thin mouth now, pressing in. He kisses much harder when there is no polite rebuttal (or is that a wimper?) from Allen - and lingers there, pretending to pace himself as if that was his plan all along.
Perhaps it was. Sometimes, he may never know himself.
He gets lost in Allen's lips, head, world, half expecting to find a somewhat plump image of Allen, holding his arms out like a lovable loon. But no, this is not exactly true to form: to find Kanda there is like finding Kanda there, seriously contemplating a proper blowjob. Kanda. Yuu. Kanda Yuu and Kanda Yuu's arms, shoving him away and then, just as surely and raggedly, pulling him near again, breath catching.
Allen is catching his breath and Lavi is looking down upon his chest cavity at the bottom of the proverbial well; and this is what it is, the phase in which his heart does not attempt to jump up, or even try to scale the stones stuck in Lavi's throat. Trapped there because he is a complete wimp and double wuss ass coward who runs away from the briefest hint of love.
Net. Do svidaniya.
Lavi forces himself to let up (let up now), the sorry prickling the back of his throat until Allen is over the sudden scare, seeming to buoy back into place with a firm press back. A careful one, not too hard, not too soft. Just right, and this is probably what makes it a sin that Lavi will never fully divest himself of. Allen has turned his body to face Lavi's, or what feels like it, Lavi's hand automatically (what?! where are ya going?! well crap.) going to rest on Allen's navel, carelessly sliding down over the hairs. Happiness is the furthest from it all.
Strangely enough.
When Allen gives a moan - loud enough for listening devices, Lavi doesn't know how to decipher, or how to treat this godawful interesting situation. Because that's what it is, interesting. That's all it is. And godawful, can't forget.
"Just checking something," Lavi whispers above the trickling, pulling back. Allen won't stop breathing so fast, so Lavi puts his arms around him after many heartbeats. Ah, naked and wet, shiver shiver against each other. Allen may have a slight hard-on. Not because this would make sense but because Lavi can feel it against his.
Maybe they shouldn't be doing this. Pros - "Sorry," Lavi says. Or something.
"What were you doing?"
Ha ha! Haaa ha what was Lavi doing oh fucking shit ha. Eesh. Errrr. Crap? Meaning he was just testing the waters? Something understandable like that. Eesh. Lavi laughs to appear more put together. To convince himself he didn't just cheat Kanda in the slightest. "Don'tchoo worry 'bout it, matey. You're not so bad yourself." With that little belly, you're not. You'll make a charming husband someday. You're like a plaything, it's not right. This is not right. Do svidaniya, now.
"Oh," Allen says slowly, processing this slowly, "that's comforting. Ish. Uh." His face is shining with a summer flush. Stuck.
On second thought. "Has Lenalee touched you like that?" Lavi ventures quietly.
"Um?"
"Tha's okay, you don't have to answer. En factorio, I'm gonna - " (escape) " - jet. See ya." Lavi reaches over and turns off the water. It is like a car crash; dare to look away, dare to listen for it. "And what have I told you? Don't waste water, parliament'll be on your tail next. Believe me, I know how that is." He steps out of the tub, feet rubbing friction with the damp, then rug, then tile, thinking about Kanda and how one day . . .
He puts this out of his mind for now. (You must always leave.) Step step step putting on clothes (becoming a touch of damp clothes) a walking advert for a sauna in the summer step step shutting door.
So, what now? Lavi stands there beside the handle, afraid to take another step, be it forward or backward, lest Kanda somehow, somehow, feel the weight of him and think, Lavi, I knew you would do this to me.
Yeah, okay. But? This was supposed to be an experiment. Nobody loves you more than me, Kanda would then say, in Neverland. Which is supposed to do naughty things to the body, isn't that right?
Lavi stalls even more, listless. He fishes for a fag in his jeans. No fag. Awe, fuckaday. He looks about the corridor for errant eyes. For red beards. He has become triple paranoid. His head has become bowed. Lips ashamed and stricken. His brain is defending him again. A titanium helmet made of veil.
And I was on a lot of shit too but what I saw, man, I tell you it was -
The door opens! And Allen peers out (wrapped in a towel)! "Shh," he says, putting a finger to his own mouth, emo hair smeared across his cheeks.
Sshhh, secret is safe with me, you curiouser curiouser charlatan boything. Now go off and play in someone else's undiebox.
*Mischka
Pairing: Lavi/Allen
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: DGM belongs to Hoshino Katsura et al, "That Time" lyrics by Regina Spektor.
A/N: High School AU Flashback!; Lavi and Allen discuss water conservation. Not.
&
(It has been a sweltering summer thus far.)
Hey, remember that time when I would only read - Shake. Speare, Lavi sings to himself, growing restless, not to mention sooo bored by all this waiting around with his pants around his ankles. Not. Which is a travesty if he ever felt one. He's already rearranged all of Allen's piano notes and tucked a bit of clotted cream in between Allen's beddings. Now that all the fun has passed, oh woe ponderosa. He will be obliged to outdo himself now. Lavi goes to the kitchen to fetch a few pastries whilst he is at it, uberly thankful that Cross is out on a date with his big-titted (e-eesh) Maria Carolina. Oops. He thinks a lie.
It is Maria Margarita. With very big tits and a half more. They must need to be bribed into her tops, that's for sure. Puckered in there.
He is not very briefly wondering about the size of her nipples when his ears suddenly lock on the plumbing. In particular, the sounds the plumbing is making. He shivers. Yessss. If his ears dare not deceive him, it may be time for a perfectly awesome execution. It is like the shower is calling his name; it is that omnipoetic.
Me - ee - sshhh - kakakakaka.*
Unless that is just his own mind, but who cares? Only he, and he only cares about one thing.
Experimentaciooon, bebe, and stuff like viva la vida! Corral those mamacitas! Or moochi chachi burritos, if you will.
"Oh Alleeen," Lavi calls through the bathroom door, giving himself a hop to inject some vigor into his voice. (He has been in such a dumpy mood lately, wouldn't you know it? He swears he is not himself, honest. He is very rarely this fidgety.)
"Do you need something? It's unlocked!" Allen says, shower curtain crinkling. Then he curses a bit over dropped soap. A few more curses about Lavi possibly leaving a few gifts in his room as well. As if Lavi would ever stoop that low. Pff, gifts? Haa . . .
Well, he's not too far off, is he? That hoodwinking sonuvagunnn -
Lavi doesn't announce himself, just slips in and eases the door shut. Sssshhhhh goes the shower head. He steps barefoot onto the tiles, listening to Allen singing the melody he'd been playing earlier on his new and improved piano. A very dramatic Chopin. But nobody can be raising hairs about it until Allen starts going to recitals in his birthday suit.
And so, in accordance to the scheme of things . . .
"Whatcha starin' at?" Lavi pipes, stepping into the shower in his birthday suit. Allen screams a quite delayed reaction, completely breaking the beat. He is all wiry with the razor. Eh? Put it down, just put it down.
"Oy, brat, I don't believe that's how the song goes," Lavi continues, giving him a what are you twelve? look.
Allen gets over the shock pretty quickly, though, face flushed and back practically shoved toward Lavi. "Mind, may I ask why you have shocked the life out of me? I thought I'd been hallucinating at first!"
Snort. "Just thought I'd get in on the action, y'know, proaction with all that water conservation-preservation shit. Gotta be Britain-friendly. Save water, shower with a friend." (Because all icons on Livejournal should say this.)
"Yes, because that is quite a lot of shit."
"Is this a naughty word I hear?"
Allen reaches behind himself to fend Lavi off. "Out of my shower, beefsteak."
After a decibel of a second, they both squeal out, "Beefsteak? Beefsteakiiiie."
Ah ha, ah ha, inside joke, ah ha.
Then Lavi gets back to routine by licking the droplets from Allen's finger that was still held out to him in midair, and consequently, Allen cannot be rewarded for originality; he has taken it upon himself to protect his assets at all costs by shrinking a haughty inch away so that he's standing directly beneath the shower head, water drowning his head off. Lavi laughs and pulls the curtain further closed around them. This only encourages Allen to get very close and personal with the shower wall. Lavi giggles, in a manly way, of course.
Allen giggles at the wall, in not such a manly way, of course. "Good grief, it's not funny. You're not supposed to be in here. You're really like a skank and it's really quite bothersome. Shoo?"
What a laugh he is!
Lavi immediately turns on the silent charm. Which is all about the (groundbreaking) silence, yes, how did you know?
Allen folds his arms impatiently and rests his forehead against the wall. He shifts from one foot to the other. The muscles in his back squirm.
"I'll treat you like the little prince," Lavi adds, because this should make all the difference once you put your mind to it.
"Ugh! That is not very nice in the sense that it is too nice. What about this water shortage, you were saying? I was sweating from all the playing earlier, so I had to get clean. Don't put me on the wrong spot for it, please." Then there is some teeth gnashing and chittish antsiness.
Lavi laughs like a dirty old man and Allen glances over his shoulder in a state of confuzzlement. He shares an uncompromising look with Lavi.
Which means he compromises by letting Lavi do what he will. Ah, free reign at last! The Dirty Old Man Laugh has still got it!
"But so long as you wash my back, 'kay?" Allen says crankily.
"What's this? Your front is off-limits? Aghast!"
"Well," Allen pauses, turning around to hand Lavi the soap and washcloth, "unless you fancy it when Lena kicks you in yours . . . "
Lavi considers this, though he has considered it a million and one times before. Nonetheless, the trouble might be all worth it. Especially if she never finds out.
"Awe, so cute and cranky! I cannot bear the gravitational pull! Beam me in, Scotty!"
"Yes, yes you can. Bear it with all your might! Scotty?" Allen pats himself on the back as if Lavi might have forgotten where it is generally located on the human body. He's inspecting his previously licked finger carefully, as carefully as one can under a wall of water.
"Hey, step back, closer to me," Lavi says, moving the soapy cloth in circles. It's like washing (polishing very wetly) a car. A very young, British, nimble-fingered car. If a car had fingers. Some might, in future.
You know it's coming.
Lavi adjusts the water down to a light sprinkle. Soapy soapy soap. And cloth. And backside. Allen's backside. Meets soapy soap. From Lavi's fingers. With a light sprinkle. (Smiling, smiling tightly. Imposing tightly.)
But when you get down to it, crack that eggshell, follow the happy trail - Allen is unlike Kanda in that Allen's Alice-ish world is like, sayonara kendo club, top o' the morning to teatime. Except Kanda also tends to live, eat, and breathe for teatime, so Lavi is at a loss with that. He probably would even die for teatime. Twice. And once more to preserve his pride.
Also, why is Lavi thinking about Kanda like this? He should not be moping over his hardassed lover. Especially not right now when Lavi is busy (not) cheating on him.
He is not two-timing anybody.
"So does this mean, slightly, perhaps, well you know," Allen says.
"I know everything. But elaborate for my pulsating pleasures." Rub wash rub, rubbadubdub.
Lavi can see Allen's head shaking from side to side slightly. No no don't be a sado sport no. "That, you know."
"Forgive me if I'm right, but what are you lugging on about, mon faerie."
"Lavi. Your hand is on my bum?"
"Oh my! How did it get there?!"
"That is what I'm lugging on about."
"Are you callin' me a flaming nancy boy?! 'Cause I resemble that remark."
"Er, actually, no - but I should, I should. Are you playing the rogue charlatan again?"
"Er." Lavi squeezes out the cloth away from the water spray. "What would give you an idea like that?" In order to make Allen a believer, he nuzzles him in the underarm. He wonders what Allen had been up to with the razor earlier. A nuzzle turns into a quick peek. Down.
They hear a sound from outside, which makes Allen flinch - or perhaps it is because Lavi's hand is now fondling his bum.
It makes for a difficult guess.
Allen spits out water at the wall. "I always try to remain respectful of my surroundings, but no doubt I will fart on you. Erg."
Actually, he probably means it, if past has proved to be an indicator.
Lavi forges ahead anyway, patting that bum. (He's not really giving it his all. He's trying, but he can't seem to . . . give a shove to the push.) And so to commemorate this fine-weathered day, Lavi soaps that little ass.
(It really is little, even for a fourteen-year-old. Those candy bars will definitely have to catch up with him someday.) Lalala brokeback miniature mountainssss.
"It's not considered cheating, ya know," Lavi lies, just barely. Hardly.
"Hmmmm?" Allen says, looking quite immersed in all the soapifying.
"Don'tchoo know the feeling?"
"You'd be surprised," Allen hums, putting his hands on his head as if to say I surrender, take me now, mon best pally slash groovy derby policeman!
Lavi doesn't have to confess that he is very much surprised. Very, very much. So much so that he is a bit inclined to say, "A-aha? Sure, I would. I've always been a fan of you knowin' more than you let on. Like a succubus, you are."
There is a hush of the water, trickle trickle, jokers sniveling at them like the biggest joke de cosmic applique. Lavi looks to the right, at the curtain. He looks to the left. At the wall, even, where walls have eyes and ears for nuances that are supposed to remain secret. And private, for that matter. This is a private matter. Phwoar, can two humans ever be alone?
"I really hope Kanda can read mind signals," Allen says, as if reading Lavi's mind, "or hormones, in your case. That way, he will - "
Allen is turning around, one arm dropped to his side for the cloth, other hand still on his head, when Lavi gets it in his groin to snog the life out of him, or in the least, kiss him pretty. Lavi is kissing him, just a small peck, no harm, no foul, no cheating hormones necessary. He is pressing into the corner of that thin mouth now, pressing in. He kisses much harder when there is no polite rebuttal (or is that a wimper?) from Allen - and lingers there, pretending to pace himself as if that was his plan all along.
Perhaps it was. Sometimes, he may never know himself.
He gets lost in Allen's lips, head, world, half expecting to find a somewhat plump image of Allen, holding his arms out like a lovable loon. But no, this is not exactly true to form: to find Kanda there is like finding Kanda there, seriously contemplating a proper blowjob. Kanda. Yuu. Kanda Yuu and Kanda Yuu's arms, shoving him away and then, just as surely and raggedly, pulling him near again, breath catching.
Allen is catching his breath and Lavi is looking down upon his chest cavity at the bottom of the proverbial well; and this is what it is, the phase in which his heart does not attempt to jump up, or even try to scale the stones stuck in Lavi's throat. Trapped there because he is a complete wimp and double wuss ass coward who runs away from the briefest hint of love.
Net. Do svidaniya.
Lavi forces himself to let up (let up now), the sorry prickling the back of his throat until Allen is over the sudden scare, seeming to buoy back into place with a firm press back. A careful one, not too hard, not too soft. Just right, and this is probably what makes it a sin that Lavi will never fully divest himself of. Allen has turned his body to face Lavi's, or what feels like it, Lavi's hand automatically (what?! where are ya going?! well crap.) going to rest on Allen's navel, carelessly sliding down over the hairs. Happiness is the furthest from it all.
Strangely enough.
When Allen gives a moan - loud enough for listening devices, Lavi doesn't know how to decipher, or how to treat this godawful interesting situation. Because that's what it is, interesting. That's all it is. And godawful, can't forget.
"Just checking something," Lavi whispers above the trickling, pulling back. Allen won't stop breathing so fast, so Lavi puts his arms around him after many heartbeats. Ah, naked and wet, shiver shiver against each other. Allen may have a slight hard-on. Not because this would make sense but because Lavi can feel it against his.
Maybe they shouldn't be doing this. Pros - "Sorry," Lavi says. Or something.
"What were you doing?"
Ha ha! Haaa ha what was Lavi doing oh fucking shit ha. Eesh. Errrr. Crap? Meaning he was just testing the waters? Something understandable like that. Eesh. Lavi laughs to appear more put together. To convince himself he didn't just cheat Kanda in the slightest. "Don'tchoo worry 'bout it, matey. You're not so bad yourself." With that little belly, you're not. You'll make a charming husband someday. You're like a plaything, it's not right. This is not right. Do svidaniya, now.
"Oh," Allen says slowly, processing this slowly, "that's comforting. Ish. Uh." His face is shining with a summer flush. Stuck.
On second thought. "Has Lenalee touched you like that?" Lavi ventures quietly.
"Um?"
"Tha's okay, you don't have to answer. En factorio, I'm gonna - " (escape) " - jet. See ya." Lavi reaches over and turns off the water. It is like a car crash; dare to look away, dare to listen for it. "And what have I told you? Don't waste water, parliament'll be on your tail next. Believe me, I know how that is." He steps out of the tub, feet rubbing friction with the damp, then rug, then tile, thinking about Kanda and how one day . . .
He puts this out of his mind for now. (You must always leave.) Step step step putting on clothes (becoming a touch of damp clothes) a walking advert for a sauna in the summer step step shutting door.
So, what now? Lavi stands there beside the handle, afraid to take another step, be it forward or backward, lest Kanda somehow, somehow, feel the weight of him and think, Lavi, I knew you would do this to me.
Yeah, okay. But? This was supposed to be an experiment. Nobody loves you more than me, Kanda would then say, in Neverland. Which is supposed to do naughty things to the body, isn't that right?
Lavi stalls even more, listless. He fishes for a fag in his jeans. No fag. Awe, fuckaday. He looks about the corridor for errant eyes. For red beards. He has become triple paranoid. His head has become bowed. Lips ashamed and stricken. His brain is defending him again. A titanium helmet made of veil.
And I was on a lot of shit too but what I saw, man, I tell you it was -
The door opens! And Allen peers out (wrapped in a towel)! "Shh," he says, putting a finger to his own mouth, emo hair smeared across his cheeks.
Sshhh, secret is safe with me, you curiouser curiouser charlatan boything. Now go off and play in someone else's undiebox.
*Mischka