Last-minute postin' is go.
Skipped last week for...some reason that seemed good at the time. I think I was mildly ill? I literally don't even remember.
I was, however, miserably ill for most of this week. On Sunday night all of a sudden I got this severe sore throat and congestion. It got worse pretty rapidly and by the time I went to bed I had a fever and my lymph nodes all around my neck were swollen so I had a killer headache, I basically was only half asleep all night shivering, sweating, and being in pain. Stayed home sick the next day, the fever broke around noon, and then stayed home sick the next day. I've been back at work the rest of the week but I'm still coughing up endless mucus. I think basically the cold is breaking up, since my sinuses aren't as stuffed up, so hopefully it will clear up and not move into my chest. I'm starting to get a deep chest cough so I'm a bit worried.
I particularly can't get sick because data collection is ramping up. We're in our final push for the winter data collection and HOPEFULLY this will be the end of it. Hopefully. I don't even know how we would do a Spring data collection, we're almost out of money and more staff are leaving.
Project manager is gone...end of next week, I think? Either that or the week after, I don't remember the exact date. The closer the day gets, the happier I am, because unfortunately, the closer the day gets, the more of an asshole she becomes. It's just nonstop bitching about the project: how the project co-manager (who is taking over as manager) sucks, how the work sucks, how nobody is doing as much as her yet simultaneously how she won't do anything because she's "so done" with this (the project? the lab? behaving like a reasonable adult?). Now that the project admin person has moved into the spare desk in our office it's much worse because they bitch about the project together, chat, and generally waste time. Which also wastes MY time, because it's distracting, and I'm trying to do work that requires concentration.
Seriously, both of them have repeatedly complained about how they have far too much to do and no time, but they're continually wasting time. Maybe if they used the hour they spent bitching about being too busy today to do their actual jobs, they wouldn't be so busy? Just a thought. Admin person is in a way worse, because at least project manager has the excuse of having been stuck on this miserable project for a year; admin person has been here two months, and was hired specifically to do admin stuff and data collection. And yet, she seems shocked and appalled that she keeps being sent on data collection. And yes, it kinda sucks because we're working 7-9 hour days every weekend, but a) so is everyone else on the project, b) she was hired to do that and knew when she accepted the job that it would be expected, c) we'll be done in three weeks and she's only been doing this for like four weeks. The rest of us have been doing this for a YEAR (and in my opinion, the baseball data collections were much worse. Yeah working all day Saturdays sucks, but at least we're not getting home at 9 or 10 at night multiple nights each week. That was really rough). Yet she talks as though she's being unfairly burdened and doing more work than anyone else. And the thing is, it is not unfair to be asked to work on weekends if you were hired specifically to do that and knew at that time that that would be the case. That is called 'your paying job'.
She's currently job hunting, because she has evidently discovered that a full-time job that can't pay you benefits or a decent wage and requires weekend hours is not what she wants (which raises the question of why she wasn't job-hunting from day one, since she knew all of that going in; if she took this job just to keep the bills paid while she kept searching I would understand, but she's just recently started hunting due to not liking this job, even though it is exactly as advertised). I really hope she gets another job soon, because she, too, constantly bitches and is generally a noisy officemate. She's also a smoker, and due to the Sensory Processing Disorder the smell of cigarettes/nicotine gives me a splitting headache and makes me nauseous. So it's very difficult having a desk RIGHT next to someone who continually makes me ill. It makes it tough to get stuff done, but also I go home really tired and then it's hard for me to do stuff at night. But it's only until she finds another job and/or the project ends...I can tough it out...I don't want to ask her to move desks because I don't want to cause drama and she's showing a bit of a flair for the dramatic lately. I mean she rages at co-manager for asking her to do her job, goodness knows what she'd do if I asked her to move desks.
Oddly, although both co-manager and I have offered to take on some of her tasks so she won't be as swamped, she has ignored these offers. So she complains that she's been given too much work and cannot reasonably complete it all, yet also refuses to delegate any of it to anyone else. I don't know what exactly she wants anyone to do, given that someone else doing some of her tasks is the only way for her to have less tasks. Project manager seems to have a similar issue; she seems to have a bit of martyr complex about the project.
Having the two of them in the same office has been hard because their complaining and raging honestly is depressing to me. In the literal sense, as in it starts to push me towards a depressive episode. It's just this continual negativity, like the project sucks and all of us suck and nobody is as good or hard-working as them and we all just suck. It's also depressing because I've heard project manager bitch about every member of the project team behind their backs, so I kind of assume she does it to me too (because really, why would I be the only one she DOESN'T complain about? Odds are she does). And it's just a downer. Like, yes, the project has a lot of problems and the work is pretty tough, but can't we have a LITTLE positivity? Or at least, why not actually TELL co-manager some of your issues so we could maybe, oh I don't know, SOLVE THEM? But instead they just complain that co-manager doesn't understand them, isn't making good decisions (which project manager apparently feels no need to TELL her, she just goes 'well it's not my problem anymore', which, wow, great attitude she has there), and say that she's not doing any work. It's just exhausting to have this going on in my office every day. Well, it's only for another week, then project manager at least will leave for her new job...
I'm kind of bummed because I'm on admin person's team for data collection tomorrow, and I much prefer working with other coworker or project co-manager, who are generally positive, calm, and friendly. Admin person and project manager are kind of high-strung and also complain constantly. Also I don't want to have to drive for an hour in a smoker's car on the way home, I'm going to be miserably ill by the time we get back, sigh. But, that's where they need me to go (I don't know whether this is because none of the other videographers could stay long enough--this site has one more game than some of the others--or because admin person threw a shitfit about the last data collection where one of their videographers bailed at the last minute so they figured one of our core staff should team with her rather than one of the random student workers).
It took ages for that to get decided today, mainly because admin person started bitching about how it was unreasonable to send only two people to her site because there'd be no time for breaks. But like, me and other coworker did that site during pre with only two of us and it worked fine. You just switch out when there's only two coaches, because one person can operate both cameras and the other can go to the bathroom (or outside to smoke in admin person's case) etc. It is not hard to do at all and there are two games out of I think five total with only two coaches, so heck, each of us can take a full hour break. Plus there's one game where we don't have anyone that falls right around lunchtime so we can break for lunch too. It's actually a lot easier than some pre sites I did where we had back-to-back games for five hours.
And yes, IDEALLY we would always have an extra person at each site so one person can be managing (getting coaches miked up, doing the record sheets, fielding any questions from parents, etc.) while the rest film. But this weekend we literally do not have an extra person. There's just no one else to send, and we need to do this, so what's the use in complaining about it? To me it's not an ideal situation, but it's manageable. Unfortunately other coworker has evening plans tomorrow so she's being sent to one of the shorter sites so she can get back earlier. I reeeeeally wish she was free so she could do this site with me, because she's never complained about any site she's been sent to and I like working with her. I've actually been teamed with her for most of the data collections.
When I think about it, between the GS project and this, I've worked for project manager for about two years. Well, I kept getting put on the new projects because the other projects already had dedicated post-docs and grad students and didn't need extra staff, and the new projects did, and as she was the newest post-doc and she and co-manager were staff on a project that wrapped up when the new projects started, here we all are. I also am assisting on other projects, and sadly project manager has been by far my least person I've worked for at the lab. I've really enjoyed working with both managers on the other project I'm on right now. The manager on my first project was just okay, she was a good manager in terms of efficiency and all but her style just wasn't my taste basically. But she was certainly very competent and got the project done in spite of various issues that came up. I didn't work directly for the manager on another project I did a few things for, but any time I've worked on a task for her I've enjoyed it and I like her. I guess it's just bad luck the one I've spent the most time working for is the only one I really don't like. Oh, to be a full-time member of the other current project! But, they just didn't need a full-time person, they had grad students.
I'm still worried about what will happen after July (my grant ends in July). I really want to stay at the lab because aside from project manager and the various temp people she's hired over the last year (they've come and gone quite a bit...perhaps it says something about the project that we've had this level of churn over this short of a time), I really like my coworkers and I like the environment and the work I'm doing. It's a matter of whether there'll be a grant to put me on; I THINK lab director will keep me if it's possible, and I reeeeally hope it's possible. Although, a lot of the post-docs will be leaving because post-docs only have two-year appointments! Time really flew, it's so weird to think I'm almost at three years working here (September 15 will be three years; I started as full-time staff on September 15, 2014). Whether a new crop of post-docs comes in depends on whether we get more grants that need them. I guess the downside of working in academia is that there's a lot of staff turnover, because post-docs and grad students are all time-limited (post-docs two years, grad students four or five depending on how fast they finish the program). You don't necessarly have long-term coworkers. One day I think I might want to work in the private sector, but I'm not feeling any desire to leave my current job just yet, I feel like there's still a lot more I can learn here and I like the work we do.
Well...I need to get to bed because I need to be at the lab very early tomorrow morning, alas. I guess the summary is...work is kinda shitty right now because of certain coworkers on this project that will not just end already, but at least an end is in sight at last if we can make it through these last weeks of data collection. I've been super sick lately which sucks, and I just have to hope I don't contract something else going to all these sports games while my immune system is weakened. I've been playing some video games so I'll probably post about that at some point. And...that's about it. Work has been kind of consuming my life lately, but eventually this project will end! Eventually!
To appease admin person's endless rage tomorrow, I have baked some cookies to bring along to data collection as a snack. Nobody can stay mad in the face of cookies! They came out a little dry though lol, I haven't made this recipe with my current oven before (at my old place we had an electric stove, this one is a gas stove). But they're still tasty! So...that is the story.
Aside from my personal life...well, in the US right now...a lot of crazy shit is happening basically, and at this point I don't think anyone knows where it's going to end. And it's been, like, a week. It's going to be a long four years. I can't even talk about all the things that are happening, there's just so much disgusting and depressing shit going on. Basically the country is now in the hands of people who appear to have a deep contempt and hatred for the poor, people of color, women, queers...well, a lot of people. These are dark times.
And that's the story...it hasn't been a great week. But, my brother just got a new job and my little nephew has really mastered rolling over, so some good things are still happening. By the next time I see him he'll probably be crawling already. And after Easter, the next time I'll see him again will probably be the summer--and he might already be talking! I wonder what his first word will be...mine was 'car', my brother's was 'tick-tock'. We were...unusual children, even from the start, lol.
Here's to next week hopefully being better than this one! At the very least, each day, the sun rises earlier and sets later. If nothing else, that's good.
I was, however, miserably ill for most of this week. On Sunday night all of a sudden I got this severe sore throat and congestion. It got worse pretty rapidly and by the time I went to bed I had a fever and my lymph nodes all around my neck were swollen so I had a killer headache, I basically was only half asleep all night shivering, sweating, and being in pain. Stayed home sick the next day, the fever broke around noon, and then stayed home sick the next day. I've been back at work the rest of the week but I'm still coughing up endless mucus. I think basically the cold is breaking up, since my sinuses aren't as stuffed up, so hopefully it will clear up and not move into my chest. I'm starting to get a deep chest cough so I'm a bit worried.
I particularly can't get sick because data collection is ramping up. We're in our final push for the winter data collection and HOPEFULLY this will be the end of it. Hopefully. I don't even know how we would do a Spring data collection, we're almost out of money and more staff are leaving.
Project manager is gone...end of next week, I think? Either that or the week after, I don't remember the exact date. The closer the day gets, the happier I am, because unfortunately, the closer the day gets, the more of an asshole she becomes. It's just nonstop bitching about the project: how the project co-manager (who is taking over as manager) sucks, how the work sucks, how nobody is doing as much as her yet simultaneously how she won't do anything because she's "so done" with this (the project? the lab? behaving like a reasonable adult?). Now that the project admin person has moved into the spare desk in our office it's much worse because they bitch about the project together, chat, and generally waste time. Which also wastes MY time, because it's distracting, and I'm trying to do work that requires concentration.
Seriously, both of them have repeatedly complained about how they have far too much to do and no time, but they're continually wasting time. Maybe if they used the hour they spent bitching about being too busy today to do their actual jobs, they wouldn't be so busy? Just a thought. Admin person is in a way worse, because at least project manager has the excuse of having been stuck on this miserable project for a year; admin person has been here two months, and was hired specifically to do admin stuff and data collection. And yet, she seems shocked and appalled that she keeps being sent on data collection. And yes, it kinda sucks because we're working 7-9 hour days every weekend, but a) so is everyone else on the project, b) she was hired to do that and knew when she accepted the job that it would be expected, c) we'll be done in three weeks and she's only been doing this for like four weeks. The rest of us have been doing this for a YEAR (and in my opinion, the baseball data collections were much worse. Yeah working all day Saturdays sucks, but at least we're not getting home at 9 or 10 at night multiple nights each week. That was really rough). Yet she talks as though she's being unfairly burdened and doing more work than anyone else. And the thing is, it is not unfair to be asked to work on weekends if you were hired specifically to do that and knew at that time that that would be the case. That is called 'your paying job'.
She's currently job hunting, because she has evidently discovered that a full-time job that can't pay you benefits or a decent wage and requires weekend hours is not what she wants (which raises the question of why she wasn't job-hunting from day one, since she knew all of that going in; if she took this job just to keep the bills paid while she kept searching I would understand, but she's just recently started hunting due to not liking this job, even though it is exactly as advertised). I really hope she gets another job soon, because she, too, constantly bitches and is generally a noisy officemate. She's also a smoker, and due to the Sensory Processing Disorder the smell of cigarettes/nicotine gives me a splitting headache and makes me nauseous. So it's very difficult having a desk RIGHT next to someone who continually makes me ill. It makes it tough to get stuff done, but also I go home really tired and then it's hard for me to do stuff at night. But it's only until she finds another job and/or the project ends...I can tough it out...I don't want to ask her to move desks because I don't want to cause drama and she's showing a bit of a flair for the dramatic lately. I mean she rages at co-manager for asking her to do her job, goodness knows what she'd do if I asked her to move desks.
Oddly, although both co-manager and I have offered to take on some of her tasks so she won't be as swamped, she has ignored these offers. So she complains that she's been given too much work and cannot reasonably complete it all, yet also refuses to delegate any of it to anyone else. I don't know what exactly she wants anyone to do, given that someone else doing some of her tasks is the only way for her to have less tasks. Project manager seems to have a similar issue; she seems to have a bit of martyr complex about the project.
Having the two of them in the same office has been hard because their complaining and raging honestly is depressing to me. In the literal sense, as in it starts to push me towards a depressive episode. It's just this continual negativity, like the project sucks and all of us suck and nobody is as good or hard-working as them and we all just suck. It's also depressing because I've heard project manager bitch about every member of the project team behind their backs, so I kind of assume she does it to me too (because really, why would I be the only one she DOESN'T complain about? Odds are she does). And it's just a downer. Like, yes, the project has a lot of problems and the work is pretty tough, but can't we have a LITTLE positivity? Or at least, why not actually TELL co-manager some of your issues so we could maybe, oh I don't know, SOLVE THEM? But instead they just complain that co-manager doesn't understand them, isn't making good decisions (which project manager apparently feels no need to TELL her, she just goes 'well it's not my problem anymore', which, wow, great attitude she has there), and say that she's not doing any work. It's just exhausting to have this going on in my office every day. Well, it's only for another week, then project manager at least will leave for her new job...
I'm kind of bummed because I'm on admin person's team for data collection tomorrow, and I much prefer working with other coworker or project co-manager, who are generally positive, calm, and friendly. Admin person and project manager are kind of high-strung and also complain constantly. Also I don't want to have to drive for an hour in a smoker's car on the way home, I'm going to be miserably ill by the time we get back, sigh. But, that's where they need me to go (I don't know whether this is because none of the other videographers could stay long enough--this site has one more game than some of the others--or because admin person threw a shitfit about the last data collection where one of their videographers bailed at the last minute so they figured one of our core staff should team with her rather than one of the random student workers).
It took ages for that to get decided today, mainly because admin person started bitching about how it was unreasonable to send only two people to her site because there'd be no time for breaks. But like, me and other coworker did that site during pre with only two of us and it worked fine. You just switch out when there's only two coaches, because one person can operate both cameras and the other can go to the bathroom (or outside to smoke in admin person's case) etc. It is not hard to do at all and there are two games out of I think five total with only two coaches, so heck, each of us can take a full hour break. Plus there's one game where we don't have anyone that falls right around lunchtime so we can break for lunch too. It's actually a lot easier than some pre sites I did where we had back-to-back games for five hours.
And yes, IDEALLY we would always have an extra person at each site so one person can be managing (getting coaches miked up, doing the record sheets, fielding any questions from parents, etc.) while the rest film. But this weekend we literally do not have an extra person. There's just no one else to send, and we need to do this, so what's the use in complaining about it? To me it's not an ideal situation, but it's manageable. Unfortunately other coworker has evening plans tomorrow so she's being sent to one of the shorter sites so she can get back earlier. I reeeeeally wish she was free so she could do this site with me, because she's never complained about any site she's been sent to and I like working with her. I've actually been teamed with her for most of the data collections.
When I think about it, between the GS project and this, I've worked for project manager for about two years. Well, I kept getting put on the new projects because the other projects already had dedicated post-docs and grad students and didn't need extra staff, and the new projects did, and as she was the newest post-doc and she and co-manager were staff on a project that wrapped up when the new projects started, here we all are. I also am assisting on other projects, and sadly project manager has been by far my least person I've worked for at the lab. I've really enjoyed working with both managers on the other project I'm on right now. The manager on my first project was just okay, she was a good manager in terms of efficiency and all but her style just wasn't my taste basically. But she was certainly very competent and got the project done in spite of various issues that came up. I didn't work directly for the manager on another project I did a few things for, but any time I've worked on a task for her I've enjoyed it and I like her. I guess it's just bad luck the one I've spent the most time working for is the only one I really don't like. Oh, to be a full-time member of the other current project! But, they just didn't need a full-time person, they had grad students.
I'm still worried about what will happen after July (my grant ends in July). I really want to stay at the lab because aside from project manager and the various temp people she's hired over the last year (they've come and gone quite a bit...perhaps it says something about the project that we've had this level of churn over this short of a time), I really like my coworkers and I like the environment and the work I'm doing. It's a matter of whether there'll be a grant to put me on; I THINK lab director will keep me if it's possible, and I reeeeally hope it's possible. Although, a lot of the post-docs will be leaving because post-docs only have two-year appointments! Time really flew, it's so weird to think I'm almost at three years working here (September 15 will be three years; I started as full-time staff on September 15, 2014). Whether a new crop of post-docs comes in depends on whether we get more grants that need them. I guess the downside of working in academia is that there's a lot of staff turnover, because post-docs and grad students are all time-limited (post-docs two years, grad students four or five depending on how fast they finish the program). You don't necessarly have long-term coworkers. One day I think I might want to work in the private sector, but I'm not feeling any desire to leave my current job just yet, I feel like there's still a lot more I can learn here and I like the work we do.
Well...I need to get to bed because I need to be at the lab very early tomorrow morning, alas. I guess the summary is...work is kinda shitty right now because of certain coworkers on this project that will not just end already, but at least an end is in sight at last if we can make it through these last weeks of data collection. I've been super sick lately which sucks, and I just have to hope I don't contract something else going to all these sports games while my immune system is weakened. I've been playing some video games so I'll probably post about that at some point. And...that's about it. Work has been kind of consuming my life lately, but eventually this project will end! Eventually!
To appease admin person's endless rage tomorrow, I have baked some cookies to bring along to data collection as a snack. Nobody can stay mad in the face of cookies! They came out a little dry though lol, I haven't made this recipe with my current oven before (at my old place we had an electric stove, this one is a gas stove). But they're still tasty! So...that is the story.
Aside from my personal life...well, in the US right now...a lot of crazy shit is happening basically, and at this point I don't think anyone knows where it's going to end. And it's been, like, a week. It's going to be a long four years. I can't even talk about all the things that are happening, there's just so much disgusting and depressing shit going on. Basically the country is now in the hands of people who appear to have a deep contempt and hatred for the poor, people of color, women, queers...well, a lot of people. These are dark times.
And that's the story...it hasn't been a great week. But, my brother just got a new job and my little nephew has really mastered rolling over, so some good things are still happening. By the next time I see him he'll probably be crawling already. And after Easter, the next time I'll see him again will probably be the summer--and he might already be talking! I wonder what his first word will be...mine was 'car', my brother's was 'tick-tock'. We were...unusual children, even from the start, lol.
Here's to next week hopefully being better than this one! At the very least, each day, the sun rises earlier and sets later. If nothing else, that's good.