it's cool, but methinks the case is solved too quickly. this is just my opinion, so don't mind me much, but i think we need more tells from Jimmy and Tyson. they were good at covering, but not good in leaving clues for Veronica to follow
and red herrings Kevin and Kyle wouldn't have gone to Veronica's party. seeing as all they did at the party was play Guitar Hero, they could easily have done that at the dorm.
not enough interactions with Piz and Mac, both who didn't even get any lines. :( but again, that's just me. they're kind of my favorite characters (but no to Piz/Mac please).
i do like where the story is going, with the stolen case files. :) methinks Joey Marlowe has something to do with it, if he's not directly involved :)
*cough* If anyone's read The Big Sleep by Raymond Chandler, you might understand the Mars/Marlowe connection.
And sorry about the lack of Piz and Mac. I loveee them too. And the next episode has a lot more of them? This was just a very Wallace/Veronica centered episode.
And the gamers weren't /playing/ GH, they were discussing it. They're THAT lame xD
And... (omg this is the never ending comment) I was afraid the episode would be too long if I kept going? But I assume that's not a problem and you'd rather have more meat to the case?
well... I haven't got around to reading the whole thing. though I'm sure I'd be quite behind, seeing as I just started working on season one?...
anyway, I'm not sure whether or not I like how you wrote it like prose.
...
on second thought, I don't like it. so far, it's the only thing I don't really like. if I were you, I would have written it in script format, as a television script writer would probably do. but that's just me, and that's just my formatting preference.
from what I've read so far, there are some characters that don't seem completely necessary. BUT. that might be because I haven't finished it yet, and I'm behind on the series anyway.
Comments 4
and red herrings Kevin and Kyle wouldn't have gone to Veronica's party. seeing as all they did at the party was play Guitar Hero, they could easily have done that at the dorm.
not enough interactions with Piz and Mac, both who didn't even get any lines. :( but again, that's just me. they're kind of my favorite characters (but no to Piz/Mac please).
i do like where the story is going, with the stolen case files. :) methinks Joey Marlowe has something to do with it, if he's not directly involved :)
Reply
And sorry about the lack of Piz and Mac. I loveee them too. And the next episode has a lot more of them? This was just a very Wallace/Veronica centered episode.
And the gamers weren't /playing/ GH, they were discussing it. They're THAT lame xD
And... (omg this is the never ending comment)
I was afraid the episode would be too long if I kept going?
But I assume that's not a problem and you'd rather have more meat to the case?
Reply
anyway, I'm not sure whether or not I like how you wrote it like prose.
...
on second thought, I don't like it. so far, it's the only thing I don't really like. if I were you, I would have written it in script format, as a television script writer would probably do. but that's just me, and that's just my formatting preference.
from what I've read so far, there are some characters that don't seem completely necessary. BUT. that might be because I haven't finished it yet, and I'm behind on the series anyway.
kthnx. cya.
Reply
Reply
Leave a comment