Question

[only_kiara]

Have you ever heard of the phrase, motto, or warning:

"Never own a slave who buys her own collar." ????

If so, please let me know what it means... please.

Comments

[only_kiara]

I understand what you have said. However, I wonder how this statement applies to someone who is single. Does purchasing a piece of jewelry to go around the neck (to feel safer, to identify as an s-type, or just to feel more comfortable as I have heard other s-types say they feel most comfortable with a necklace or something around their throat) equate to the same thing? Does it, somehow, flag them as someone who will not give up control??

I'm trying to understand this saying. I've never heard it before just recently.

[ulfrslady]

To feel safe, sure. To identify yourself as an s-type? Not so much. It will give the impression to most people that you are already owned.

[windlestraw]

I've always taken it to mean that the collar is not authentic because it was a collar not earned by going through the oft-grueling paces of a traditional Master and/or Mistress and slave's training.

[danj]

I have but usually from people who's views I don't agree with and/or have closed minds.

If you find it gives you comfort then wear it, people may assume you have a partner/master/other, that said those who spend the time to find out about you will learn that you don't and those are the people worthy of your time.

Because people have preconceived ideas you don't have to adapt to them, do what you need to do to be you, most people in the scene are open minded. When you have a partner/master/other you may choose to adapt to them then but that's part of what you choose to give up for them and possibly part of your submission.

I like my subs to be who they are, if they choose to give up their power and control to me and allow me to change them that's a privilege and level of trust I've earned and that gives me immense satisfaction.