Why am I even bothering?
Why this bothers me so bad I don't know. Perhaps because my creative writing teacher praised it so heavily and I thought it was really something. Perhaps it is because I am in a shit mood already because I hate my job. Because I feel so horrible about my mid term exam? I know I know I know I know that many people entered this contest . But still, I would've liked to win that. For my teachers to know I can write. So people would know my name for a few days. Maybe it wasn't edgy or challenging about heavy political events but that isn't me (funny says a girl who would self publish erotica for some extra cash...my standards are really messed up) It just is very discouraging. I hate doubting myself. But all the same I don't like to get into heavy hitting stuff, but if that wins awards for my cv .... I don't know. I just don't know why I try to write. I am good in fandom but that's all. I don't know if any of the above makes sense... I just needed to whine.