Comments | subway_wall: you stare into the vacuum of his eyes and you say "do you want to make a deal?"

subway_wall

you stare into the vacuum of his eyes and you say "do you want to make a deal?"

Nov 25, 2004 12:28

one of my college application essays asks me to write about a person who has had significant influence on culture and thought. after going through many options (john locke, aristotle, lech walesa, matt groening), i decided to write on bob dylan. i'm giving it to you to scrutinize, so please comment.

( you better start swimming or you'll sink like a stone. )

Comments 6

sassyypants November 25 2004, 14:06:43 UTC

i really like it. there's something sincere about music from the 60's that current music lacks -- which i love -- and thus you must burn me some dylan when you get the chance.

i like the inversion on in the last paragraph...very booth-esque

__parody November 28 2004, 19:55:19 UTC

i will definitely burn you some dylan once i can use my burner again.. which should be sometime this december.. and thank you. <3

fall_back_down November 25 2004, 16:21:20 UTC

wow, i really loved it. you took an incredibly cliche question that most people dread having to answer and wrote a truly INTERESTING response. and you didn't try to be extra quirky or flashy by choosing someone like marilyn manson.

one tiny thing, that really is tiny and probably me being dumb to point out, but still...Never having achieved the idolizing, hormone-fueled adoration and fanatic devotion that was bestowed upon some of his contemporaries and never having quite fit the mold of an international superstar, Bob Dylan nevertheless was the spokesman for an entire culture whose essence can be summed up in his very words: “The times they are a-changing.”

i think that the first part (frizz would be so disappointed to learn that i don't remember the technical phrase for it) is a little bit long and therefore a little less clear and straightforward than the rest of the essay. but really, it's probably me being picky.

__parody November 28 2004, 19:58:18 UTC

wow, thank you.

and you're right about the first part. i have a penchant for long, winding, awkward sentences, haha. <3

__foundandlost November 25 2004, 21:25:36 UTC

sounds good- i think though that you should add something about how his music can reach out to so many generations because it embodies emotions that many can relate to, regardless of age.
or something like that, regarding to his words being...almost a timeless classic, you know?

fillthe____void November 26 2004, 15:15:57 UTC

you're brilliant, and i really enjoyed reading that.
i don't have much to say in the way of corrections/adjustments. i think it's lovely.

<3.