(no subject)
Friends cut. I don't read what you say anymore.
My good spirits have officially diminished.
I feel like screaming I hate you to everyone. No, there are no exceptions.
Except in doing that, I'd be lying.
Messiah-complex. YOU THINK THE FEELING OF LOVE YOU HAVE IS DIVINE. And that divinity is only entitled to you. Righteous. A Believer. Sincerity? Are you the only one entitled to it? Your actions say so. Everything must work towards the one who in the first time in a long time wants to kill herself. Because the way you interpret things is the way you will take it. Only. EVER. Even if someone told you something other wise, you'd still take your way BECAUSE YOU ARE THE ONE WHO IS RIGHT. ALWAYS.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS, CANDICE? PRIDE. AND NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU TRY TO DENY IT WITH YOUR DEPRESSION, THE FACT IS THAT YOU BELIEVE YOU ARE ENTITLED TO SOMETHING. SOMETHING SPECIAL. WHEN REALLY ALL ANYONE IS EVER ENTITLED TO IS SALVATION THROUGH JESUS CHRIST AND DEATH.
And I know that sounds mean, and hypocritical, and whatever, but it's the truth. Most of what I'm saying is pointed right back at me. I know, I just realized that today. And all you're going to do is say that all I do is look at other people when I should look at myself, but I have looked at myself now. Do you get that?
And now what are you going to do? Cry? Cry and think about how much I don't love you anymore and how I've forgotten all of our memories and that nothing about you means anything to me? Despite actions, BECAUSE SOMETIMES, BELIEVE IT OR NOT, I DON'T HAVE THE ENERGY TO SHOW THINGS THROUGH ACTIONS. Is that okay with you? Or do I have to kill every inch of energy I have left to make sure you know that I love you? WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO DO? I don't think you can understand the frustration I have.
Oh, well great, back to me at that last sentence. AND IT'S TRUE! And it's terrible, and I promise I'm working on it.
But you must, even for a moment, stop being an F, and try to be a T. I really tried last night and you shot me down. You're conditioning me to stop trying. Learned helplessness, right?
And whatever, I know I'm not as clever as you, or as knowledgable or as well read or as well listened. But you attacking things like that really hurts my heart. Yes, contrary to your belief, I have a heart and a soul. I guess you don't care when all you're thinking about is your own hurt.
Any comments to this post that are not from the person it is directed at will be deleted.
My good spirits have officially diminished.
I feel like screaming I hate you to everyone. No, there are no exceptions.
Except in doing that, I'd be lying.
Messiah-complex. YOU THINK THE FEELING OF LOVE YOU HAVE IS DIVINE. And that divinity is only entitled to you. Righteous. A Believer. Sincerity? Are you the only one entitled to it? Your actions say so. Everything must work towards the one who in the first time in a long time wants to kill herself. Because the way you interpret things is the way you will take it. Only. EVER. Even if someone told you something other wise, you'd still take your way BECAUSE YOU ARE THE ONE WHO IS RIGHT. ALWAYS.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS, CANDICE? PRIDE. AND NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU TRY TO DENY IT WITH YOUR DEPRESSION, THE FACT IS THAT YOU BELIEVE YOU ARE ENTITLED TO SOMETHING. SOMETHING SPECIAL. WHEN REALLY ALL ANYONE IS EVER ENTITLED TO IS SALVATION THROUGH JESUS CHRIST AND DEATH.
And I know that sounds mean, and hypocritical, and whatever, but it's the truth. Most of what I'm saying is pointed right back at me. I know, I just realized that today. And all you're going to do is say that all I do is look at other people when I should look at myself, but I have looked at myself now. Do you get that?
And now what are you going to do? Cry? Cry and think about how much I don't love you anymore and how I've forgotten all of our memories and that nothing about you means anything to me? Despite actions, BECAUSE SOMETIMES, BELIEVE IT OR NOT, I DON'T HAVE THE ENERGY TO SHOW THINGS THROUGH ACTIONS. Is that okay with you? Or do I have to kill every inch of energy I have left to make sure you know that I love you? WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO DO? I don't think you can understand the frustration I have.
Oh, well great, back to me at that last sentence. AND IT'S TRUE! And it's terrible, and I promise I'm working on it.
But you must, even for a moment, stop being an F, and try to be a T. I really tried last night and you shot me down. You're conditioning me to stop trying. Learned helplessness, right?
And whatever, I know I'm not as clever as you, or as knowledgable or as well read or as well listened. But you attacking things like that really hurts my heart. Yes, contrary to your belief, I have a heart and a soul. I guess you don't care when all you're thinking about is your own hurt.
Any comments to this post that are not from the person it is directed at will be deleted.