Insomnia Does The Strangest Things...

[suckerforjesse]

AH! Don't kill me. Have to start somewhere, right? Hrmm forgive my lack of slashiness.
Title: [Insert Clever Title To Make You Think I'm Not That Bad Really Here]
Pairing: What?! Can't you guess?! Oh go on then... Adam/Jesse
Rating: Have no idea. Bad language mainly.
Summary: Adam really doesn't like Jesse. Really. Promise.

Comments

[echoelf]

ok. i'm assuming this is your first fic b/c i've never seen you around her before. therefore, i'm going to give you advice and hope to God that you don't take it as a sign that you should never write again b/c that's not true at all.

First off, you should be proud b/c i've been in a really bad mood lately and haven't made it to the end of many fics, much less commented on them, so that's definintely an accomplishment.

i guess i'll start with things i'd change before giving you the praise you deserve.

Now, one of the things that stuck out at me like a blaring red light was your use of british slang. i'm guessing that means you're british. as i've pointed out several times to inpurity" (who i beta for), as much as i ADORE british slang and wish that i had slang like that, they are from long island and north carolina, and i'm about 99.9% sure that they don't use that slang. it just takes a bit of the authenticity out. i think that leaving some of it in is fine, but this just kind of stuck out to me as being very non-long island/north

[echoelf]

that username was supposed to be inpurity

[givesyouhell]

This is the funniest thing I've ever read.

But yeah, just watch grammar and spelling and it moved a little fast which can be confusing. And please, continue to refer to Jesse as Fat-Face, because it is comedy gold. <333

[kristal_1987]

well as you commented on my story i've decide to come and read i liked this is funny and i bet he really really hate him!