i feel nothing & im not sure if its for the best. josh will be here friday, that will be good. very good. i just want to be with him for as long as i can.

jabababababa. i want to come home. i want to stay here. i want home to come to me. i want my dog. i want josh frances sonia and james. i want you all here. the friends i have here dont even feel like friends. no one wants to hang out with me, something better comes along i guess. its just depressing. research studio is really frustrating and hard. ( Read more... )

i am sexually frustrated. its just going to get worse.

i also hate girls. and guys and retards.

so there you have it, my thoughts for the night.

i feel a little better today/tonight. i guess it's because i actually did something other than smoke too many cigarettes and sit in my dorm. im still lonely even though im always surrounded by people. i miss everyone so much. i almost just cried writing that. im not going to cry.


( Read more... )

i just want to come home. or i want all of my friends to be here. its only been a few days and im already homesick.
i guess once classes start and i start meeting people who dont come off as assholes things will get better?
god damn.

3 bags packed. 2 to go ( Read more... )

last night was good. though when i got home i stayed up till 4. packing ; not packing ( Read more... )

my uncle died today. its also my birthday ( Read more... )

how can i get over this? nothing really was going on between us, but now i just feel shut out. he's got a new girl and that's that. maybe me leaving was an excuse to move on quickly before it was too late. i have no idea. but now im just a friend ( Read more... )

i deserved this. i just wish it didn't hurt so much.