Flip of a Coin

[sue_parsons]

I had a strange thought this evening that hadn't really occurred to me before. What would Jeff have done had I died first - quite suddenly, just as he did? Would he have retired soon after, moved up here? Would he have taken Jeremie and Maddie in? Had he moved to the Bellingham area, would the kids have come along

Comments

[geo4real]

It's certainly an interesting thought. I think there is some 'conventional wisdom' around the idea that men, under those circumstances, tend to continue their lives pretty much as they were, only quieter, sadder - more isolated, I guess. I don't know why that would be.

I know that if it happened to me, I would change every little thing. Start everything new.

How strange is that?

*hugs*

[sue_parsons]

I DID wind up changing quite a bit about my life - taking Jeremie and Maddie in, going to half time, getting the house ready to sell, buying a new home on my own, moving up here, all the decorating and buying new furniture, new car - when you think about it, I turned everything upside down.

I wonder why that would be, about guys? I know my husband preferred the status quo and preserved it at all costs, hating taking risks, did tons of investigative work before buying anything new, so it would make sense he would attempt to preserve most aspects of his life as was. So you're saying that is pretty much a guy thing?

[geo4real]

I think it must be. Did you see the film "Gran Torino"? All about a curmudgeonly long-time widower still stubbornly living in the same house even through the neighborhood around him has changed drastically. I'm not saying that all guys are like that, but there was something familiar - and, I think, to many people, recognizable (in the sense of a cultural theme) - in that character's stubborn clinging to the only life he has ever known. Maybe it's a generational thing, I don't know.

I often wonder what my hubby would do. I think I'll ask him.