in re: Chrono Trigger - An Irreverent (Irrelevant!) Review.
I finished my replay-through of Chrono Trigger, today. My game-clock is logged at 15:33, character level 49 should I decide that I'd like to New Game+ it.
I did all of the side-quests and stuck with my usual character line-up (or as usual as my line-up can be for a game I haven't earnestly played through in a full decade.) My line-up is perfectly obvious to anyone that's ever met me, but I'll give you a quick run-down for the laugh of it.
Crono - the silent (but moody!) youth that wields swords like a pimp (Confuse FTW.) He dies at one point. I don't care if I just spoiled the game for you, because it came out in the US in 1995. At this point Crono's death and ressurection deserves just as much spoiler warning as Jesus' does.
Frog - a valiant hero that has been turned into a depressed, antisocial, self-hating frog. Although a lot of people point at FF7's Cloud for having been the beginning of Square's emo fet, I tend to think that Frog set that precedent. If you let him turn back into 'Glenn' at the ending, then he gets a new character sprite that even has bangs- which is a step up from the generic villager sprite he uses in the flashbacks about his gay dead boyfriend. But still, the Masamune is a pretty fucking awesome sword, and he can Heal like a good little tool- so he's forgiven in my book. Also, his final Tech involves a single sprite of a giant fucking frog bouncing around the screen. Absurdity pleases me.
Magus - the evil wizard that turned Frog into a frog in the first place (and saving 'Glenn' from a generic character sprite in the process,) Magus is the token misunderstood character that isn't so much evil as much as a selfish jerk with the best magic attacks in the game and the ability to use not only 'shadow' spells (his natural designation) but also spells from all of the other natures as well. It's obvious that the people who made CT hated Frog as a character as much as I do, because you can only get Magus by ensuring that Frog will forever hate himself.
With this motley (by which I mean 'game breakingly cheap') crew, I took on (and subsequently killed,) the creepy mutant chicken world devouring menace known as Lavos.
Good fun was had.
A few more random throughts-
* Even though Ayla is a raging lesbian and dating the most feminine male character this side of Sydney Losstarot (or Kuja, if Vagrant Story is just too awesome for you,) she's must be pretty fucking smart. Like Lucca-smart. That bitch speaks mono-syllabicly in broken ass english and still understands the complexities of time travel well enough to have snappy statements to make at integeral plot points. She's actually a pretty awesome character all-around, and I used her in place of Magus for a hot minute- she can steal, hits with her fists harder than Crono can with a sword (y'know, as lesbians do) and makes that whole obligatory 'we've been kidnapped and the enemies took our gear!' scenario fairly amusing (since she... y'know, doesn't need gear as a fist-fighter.)
* When Frog and Ayla use their healing Dual-Tech, 'Slurp-Kiss' they're basically involving your third party member in a particullarly sloppy triple-kiss with a lot of tounge. I'm not into the CT-fic community, but this has gotta be the root of many volumes worth of erotica, right?
* Marle is as dumb as a fucking rock. I don't feel any great need to validate that opinion.
* I didn't like in Mega Man X5 whn Capcom's US office decided to use Guns N' Roses references as Maverick names, but I sure as fuck prefer Square US's use of Ozzie, Flea and Slash to their original names of Vinegar, Mayonnaise and Soy Sauce.
And that's it. Next up is to either replay Vagrant Story or Super Mario RPG. Whichever one my PSP can emulate without the resulting oddities causing me to chuck the machine at a hard concrete wall. Fun.
I did all of the side-quests and stuck with my usual character line-up (or as usual as my line-up can be for a game I haven't earnestly played through in a full decade.) My line-up is perfectly obvious to anyone that's ever met me, but I'll give you a quick run-down for the laugh of it.
Crono - the silent (but moody!) youth that wields swords like a pimp (Confuse FTW.) He dies at one point. I don't care if I just spoiled the game for you, because it came out in the US in 1995. At this point Crono's death and ressurection deserves just as much spoiler warning as Jesus' does.
Frog - a valiant hero that has been turned into a depressed, antisocial, self-hating frog. Although a lot of people point at FF7's Cloud for having been the beginning of Square's emo fet, I tend to think that Frog set that precedent. If you let him turn back into 'Glenn' at the ending, then he gets a new character sprite that even has bangs- which is a step up from the generic villager sprite he uses in the flashbacks about his gay dead boyfriend. But still, the Masamune is a pretty fucking awesome sword, and he can Heal like a good little tool- so he's forgiven in my book. Also, his final Tech involves a single sprite of a giant fucking frog bouncing around the screen. Absurdity pleases me.
Magus - the evil wizard that turned Frog into a frog in the first place (and saving 'Glenn' from a generic character sprite in the process,) Magus is the token misunderstood character that isn't so much evil as much as a selfish jerk with the best magic attacks in the game and the ability to use not only 'shadow' spells (his natural designation) but also spells from all of the other natures as well. It's obvious that the people who made CT hated Frog as a character as much as I do, because you can only get Magus by ensuring that Frog will forever hate himself.
With this motley (by which I mean 'game breakingly cheap') crew, I took on (and subsequently killed,) the creepy mutant chicken world devouring menace known as Lavos.
Good fun was had.
A few more random throughts-
* Even though Ayla is a raging lesbian and dating the most feminine male character this side of Sydney Losstarot (or Kuja, if Vagrant Story is just too awesome for you,) she's must be pretty fucking smart. Like Lucca-smart. That bitch speaks mono-syllabicly in broken ass english and still understands the complexities of time travel well enough to have snappy statements to make at integeral plot points. She's actually a pretty awesome character all-around, and I used her in place of Magus for a hot minute- she can steal, hits with her fists harder than Crono can with a sword (y'know, as lesbians do) and makes that whole obligatory 'we've been kidnapped and the enemies took our gear!' scenario fairly amusing (since she... y'know, doesn't need gear as a fist-fighter.)
* When Frog and Ayla use their healing Dual-Tech, 'Slurp-Kiss' they're basically involving your third party member in a particullarly sloppy triple-kiss with a lot of tounge. I'm not into the CT-fic community, but this has gotta be the root of many volumes worth of erotica, right?
* Marle is as dumb as a fucking rock. I don't feel any great need to validate that opinion.
* I didn't like in Mega Man X5 whn Capcom's US office decided to use Guns N' Roses references as Maverick names, but I sure as fuck prefer Square US's use of Ozzie, Flea and Slash to their original names of Vinegar, Mayonnaise and Soy Sauce.
And that's it. Next up is to either replay Vagrant Story or Super Mario RPG. Whichever one my PSP can emulate without the resulting oddities causing me to chuck the machine at a hard concrete wall. Fun.