Fic: Silent Tears
Title: Silent Tears
Author: suellen128
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Rating: R
Warnings: SPOILERS FOR CoE4, ANGST, m/m
Disclaimer; I don't own anything of this show/characters etc *if I did things would have gone a lot differently*
Notes: LALALALALALALA *covers ears and eyes* He is not dead, he is not dead!
"too late, I already breathed it in"
Jack couldn't stop the pain in his heart, wanting with all of his being to stop that tiny insignificant sentence, making his whole body tense up in pain.
"There's gotta be an antidote" grabbing hold of Ianto
Jack couldn't see anything else, except for Ianto's face growing pailing and more terrified as the seconds went on, just before he fell, Jack could sense something else in the room besides him and the alien then it was gone like it wasn't there
" no no nooooo no no, Ianto no"
"Its all my fault, save your breathe"
Jacks heart stuttered, he could feel the poison entering his blood stream and curling around his heart caressing like it was sad it was doing it.
"I love you" Ianto stuttered
"Don't, Ianto stay with me, stay with me please"
He couldn't say it back, couldn't admit it was final, couldn't admit that this was the last time he would be seeing him ever again, not like he had imagine sitting in a cottage stroking Ianto's soft grey head with a room full of children and grandchildren who would know his own secret and not care.
"Don't forget me,"
"never"
"In a thousand years time, you will remember me?"
"yes I will, I promise"
Jack would never forget him, he would never forget the soft sighs of contentment after their love-making, the dry sense of humour that left him in tears of laughter, the way he held him as he came back to life or held him through the nightmares that terrified him into a paralysed state. He would never forget the way Ianto smiled at him like he was the centre of the universe and nothing can ever destroy that. His coffee that was practically an orgasm in a cup or the way he would stroke Ianto's body into completion with all the pale skin and in that moment Jack could look into Ianto's eyes and see time and space laid out in perfect unison.
"Ianto, Ianto, Don't go, Don't leave me please, please don't"
Jack released a deep breath and knew that he would be gone soon, but Ianto was going now, he could almost feel Ianto's heart slowing down and stopping its ever useful function, the blood going faster to try and compensate his veins expending and blowing wide open, the brain staving of oxygen.
"I'm sorry I never told you about the children before or about my daughter, please come back I promise to tell you everything even if it might make you hate me, please Ianto, Please"
Jack felt his body shutting down, slumping down on the floor, keeping one hand on Ianto. Jack felt for the first time in a long time, the wish to die and never come back if only to escape the heartache and the almost physical reaction of not having Ianto around to give him a kiss goodnight or even a kiss good morning with toast and coffee.
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
When Jack woke near quietly the hole in his heart making itself known immediately, he thought how life was unfair he thought that this time he wouldn't come back, screw the earth what was the point if Ianto wasn't here with him making little comments or even having fun at the fairground.
Jack sat up and saw the back of Gwen, curling himself around her to look down at Ianto he could feel her crying, silent tears she was straightening his tie and smoothing his jacket, Jack wanted to scream at her to stop touching, too push her away and hug him till he came back or till the pain dulls a bit and he could think rationally again.
There was a gasp from the other end of the hall, Jack quickly turned his head and saw a body that was covered in the red sheet sit up, for one horrid moment he thought that they were now to have zombies eating brains and taking over the earth Jack laughed hysterically inside, before the body tore off the red sheet and looked around
"I can breath, I'm not dying" the women with the blonde hair and a slight gash where she had obviously fallen down the stairs.
Gwen quickly got up and rushed over to the women which had the unit guards were looking slightly worried, but as jack looked around he could see some of the other bodies move and start to sit up, he quickly turned around and gathered Ianto in his arms, rocking slightly.
"Please come back Ianto, others are waking up and you need to wake up, Please" Jack knew that the wet splotches on Ianto's skin were from his own tears, he closed his eyes tears escaping rapidly and gathered Ianto up, Ianto's head flopped onto his neck, before Jack realised that that someone was saying his name, a man's voice uncanny like the one he was hold
"Jack, Jack, I'm okay, I'm here now" Jack looked down in Ianto's face knowing there was a hopeful expression on his face mixed with pain.
"Ianto?"
"Usually when somebody says I Love You, It's nice to hear it said back"
Jack started sobbing, while Ianto got out of his grip and held Jack to him, taking his head in his own neck rocking, mirroring what jack was doing to him when he woke.
"I, love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I'm sorry I never said it, Please don't leave me, Please I will be better, Just don't leave" Jack knew he was mumberling and shaking with grief, gripping onto Ianto like he was the only thing keeping him sane, he could feel the tears from Ianto on his hair
"shhhh, I know you love me, I will always love you, shhhhhh, I'm not going anywhere" Ianto was mumberling back, before turning his head and drawing him into a kiss roughly catching lips on teeth an tongues curling around each others, jack put in all his desperation, love and pain in it before drawing back and looking into Ianto's eyes that shown of all space and time
A scream was heard before a pair of arms was flung round both of them, and silent tears was soaking both of there shoulders, looking down Jack put one of his arms around Gwen with Ianto doing the same.
"We are Torchwood, outside the government beyond the police. Fighting the 456 on behalf of the human race, they try to take our children, our loved ones" Jack gave Ianto a quick peck on the lips "and we will show them why we are feared, why if they take away our choices we will beat them down into they are nothing but ashes and dust in the stars".