To Judge
Title: To Judge
Rating: PG
Warnings: spoilers for the manga's ending, vague references to sex
Summary: Haruhi learns yet again how unpredictable Tamaki can be, and that judging his reasons correctly is impossible.
Written for ouran_contest's "Paul Elridge quote" theme! <3
There wasn't really much to think about, honestly. She got up in the morning, she brushed her teeth and combed her hair and put on whatever outfit she happened to grab from her closet. Before it had been that she went to class, but since graduating from Tokyo's University of Law several weeks earlier, she simply sat around waiting for one of the firms in the area to contact her, as they had said they would at her graduation ceremony. She liked to think that one of them would call, because she had a rather impressive background in education. Her time in Ouran Academy's exchange program had seen to that, and the influence of her rather affluent boyfriend, who had been such a constant presence in her life in those days.
Thinking of Tamaki was getting harder as the days went by. More or less she would sit on the edge of her bed just after rising and think of how they were before. He had been so bright and so cheerful and so devoted to her. Now, he was just as lively but he lived his life mostly separate from hers. The Suoh company kept him busy rushing around closing deals and overseeing new business ventures, and she saw him rarely, if at all. It was with a pang that she recalled that time they had spent together in Boston, growing closer every day. If she had known that the future would force them right apart again, she probably would not have allowed herself to become so emotionally invested in the relationship with the flighty boy. She would never have thought, in those first luminous months of their relationship, that they would be living so apart from each other, living such separate lives.
Haruhi still called him her boyfriend, but tentatively. What good is a relationship if there is no interaction, no soft moments spent together? She knew he saw her as often as he could, but hasty evenings of lovemaking and champagne were not enough to fill the spaces in between these visits. Truthfully, Haruhi was becoming restless. She was become stagnant and she was becoming lonely. There was only so much neglect she could take before something had to change, only so far she could bend before she broke.
"Why don't you just call me already?" she snapped at her cell phone while she was making breakfast. "Do you realize how much I miss you?" she stirred her oatmeal so furiously that some sloshed out onto the floor. She had come to a decision recently that Tamaki was either going to have to change things or lose her. She still loved him with just as much furious passion as she had in those awkward teenage days they had spent getting to know each other in those first weeks of their relationship, but she was older now. Times were different. Haruhi was nearly twenty-two years old, and getting older meant getting wiser. She hated to make waves and she did not like to think of herself as high maintenance, but she could not be content with him sometimes being there for her. He was either in this relationship or he wasn't. Haruhi wanted to know which one it was.
It was with this furious and stubborn notion that she grabbed her phone, forgetting her oatmeal, and dialed that familiar number. It had been the same since he was seventeen years old, and she doubted she could forget it if she tried. As she listened to the phone ringing, she happened to glance at her reflection in the glass face of her china cabinet. It was the one piece of furniture that she had allowed Tamaki to buy for her when she leased her apartment, and the glass was shiny as a mirror. She still kept her hair short these days, but it needed a trim and was starting to tease its way down past her chin a bit. Despite her short hair, she was undeniably a woman at this point. Her face and body had taken on a more feminine look since those days in high school, and it had been nearly two years since someone had referred to her as "little boy".
It took six rings before Haruhi was sent to Tamaki's voicemail, and she was unexplainably furious. After his cheerful voice informed her to leave a message after the beep, she gritted her teeth, waited for the beep, and then lost it completely.
"Tamaki Suoh, you answer your damn phone!" she hissed into the receiver. "I can't tell you how many times I've tried to reach you and gotten this stupid voice recording. I realize you're busy, but all I want is five minutes of your time!" she snapped her phone shut, seething, and steeled herself against tears. Grudgingly she ate her oatmeal and stared into space. She only had to wait five minutes before her phone rang and Tamaki's familiar picture appeared in the font panel. Snatching it up, she made a point to wait at least four rings before she actually answered. "Hello?"
"Haruhi, what's going on?" Tamaki asked, sounding worried. "I got your voicemail, and you were yelling. Are you okay?"
"I need to see you," Haruhi told him, losing most of the fight in her voice. Rather than indignant, now she simply sounded sad and pathetic.
"I know," Tamaki said, sounding sorry. His voice was soothing, and Haruhi was unintentionally calmed. "I'm sorry I'm so busy. I know it's been too long. Can I stop by tonight? I have something to tell you, anyway." his voice was so apologetic and comforting that Haruhi found herself forgetting why she was angry in the first place for a moment.
"Sure," she said tiredly. "I'll be home."
"Wonderful," Tamaki said. "I'll see you at seven. Is that okay?"
He was always so polite, even when he was speaking to Haruhi, who he had known for almost seven years and had been dating for six. Haruhi sighed. "That'll be fine. I'll see you then."
"Until then, Haruhi," he said, and Haruhi was unsure if his debonair tone was intentional or not. They hung up and Haruhi balled her hands into fists and glared at her reflection.
"He's going to break up with you," she told the scared-looking girl in the glass. "How's that for a romantic evening?"
However, Haruhi was a practical woman, she she managed to put all thought of the phone conversation from her mind. She did some shopping, read a book, and watched the news. Seven o'clock rolled around almost too quickly, and though she had less than great expectations for the evening, she put on some slow jazz anyway and lit a few candles. It was a tradition that she and Tamaki had developed over the years of their relationship, and she intended to keep it for as long as she could. Though she was irritated with Tamaki, it didn't stop her from putting on one of the dresses he loved and waiting by the door. There was a dim sense of panic now that he was coming so soon, because Haruhi knew that it was going to be hard to come right out and tell him that he needed to make a choice about whether or not he wanted to keep her. She was tired of feeling lonely, but there was a sense that if he chose to break up, she would be even more lonely.
Tamaki rang the doorbell at seven fifteen, and she let him in promptly. He was dressed in a simple buttonup shirt and dark slacks, and he looked every bit the romantic suitor he was. It was a bit cliche to Haruhi that he was actually carrying roses. Immediately she questioned all her previous notion of what the evening would be when she saw the way he was smiling at her. Maybe she had been wrong to judge his behavior...
"Haruhi!" he said happily, leaping forward to embrace her like a much younger version of himself. He had just turned twenty-five but he looked more like a teenager when he was grinning this way. "I've missed you so much." he kissed her cheek tenderly, and she blinked at him. "It's so good to see you. I'm sorry I've been so busy."
Haruhi wanted to tell him that it was okay, but she could not bring herself to utter the words. it would be a lie. Instead, she smiled weakly. Tamaki handed her the roses, and she accepted them.
"I know they're really no consolation," he told her softly. "But I wanted to get them for you to remind you of how much I love you. It's been too long, but I'm going to make it all up to you, if I can. I have some news for you."
"Okay," Haruhi replied, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible. She headed for the sofa and Tamaki followed her, so she poured them some champagne (cheap champagne; she wasn't about to spend her life savings on a bottle of expensive wine) and stared hard at one of the candles. If he was going to end things with her, it was going to be now, and the sour feeling in the pit of her stomach intensified a hundredfold. It would serve him right if she threw up on him, she supposed.
Tamaki was smiling at her gently, and Haruhi wondered if he had any right to be. "You look very nice in that dress," he told her. "Polka dots suit you."
"Thanks," she replied, but her heart wasn't in it. She couldn't bring herself to look at him.
"Haruhi... what's wrong?" Tamaki asked softly, placing his hand on her arm. It took everything she had for Haruhi not to wrench it away.
"If you're going to say something to me, just say it," Haruhi told him. "I'm tired of being strung along and I just want you to get it over with. So just say it and save me the time worrying to I can get on with my life, okay?"
Tamaki looked concerned. "Haruhi, you sound so bitter. I'm worried. What in the world is going on?"
"Nothing..." Haruhi muttered. It took every bit of willpower she had not to tell him exactly what she was thinking. Instead she simply gave him a weak smile. "Nothing at all. Well, go ahead. I'm listening, Tamaki."
"Well," Tamaki said with a smile. "I had a meeting with the company representatives last night and... I've been chosen to take over the French branch of the company! Isn't that wonderful?"
A different kind of pain flooded Haruhi's stomach. It was true that she didn't see him very often anymore, but she was certainly going to miss him. It gnawed at her insides and she took a sip of champagne. The bubbly liquid dulled the feeling just a bit, and she wondered if maybe she should drink it until she passed out. "That's great, Tamaki. I'm... really happy for you."
"Thank you," Tamaki smiled at her, his eyes soft. "But this is where you come in." he took a drink of champagne and then set his glass down so he could reach into his pocket. He pulled out a square of paper and unfolded it. It was blueprints, and Haruhi was puzzled. "This is the chateau I'm having built in Paris. It has a master bedroom and four bathrooms, guest rooms, a nursery just in case, and two studies. This one is mine and this one, the one overlooking the garden... this one is yours."
Haruhi blinked at him. "What?" she asked.
"I know I probably should have said something before I planned all this," Tamaki said rather sheepishly, giving her a charming smile. "But I... want you to come with me, Haruhi. Your father told me the lease on your apartment is up soon, and I hear France has a wonderful job market for lawyers. But... the Suoh corporation is looking to hire another for our branch in France..."
Haruhi was shocked beyond words as Tamaki handed her a crisp sheet of paper that he had been holding behind the blueprints.
"This is the job offer," Tamaki told her. "You don't have to take it, but I thought you might appreciate the opportunity..."
"This is more money than my college scholarship..." Haruhi said, her eyes wide. "I'd be making this every year? This is more than... than..."
"It's a lot, isn't it?" Tamaki asked her, smiling. "I know I haven't been the most attentive boyfriend, but I want to change that. If we did this, we'd be living together, and we could even see each other at work. We could spend every night together. I've missed you, and I know I've been busy with work, but this way, even if we're both still busy, we'll be busy together. What do you think?"
Wide-eyed, Haruhi simply stared at him. This all seemed too good to be true. Suddenly the prospect of France loomed over her, enticing and exotic and incredible. She had had such low expectations for this evening, and now her heart was swelling with the possibilities. She couldn't even speak. All she could do was stare.
"I... I think..." she said finally. "That it sounds amazing, but are you sure you want to bring me with you?"
"Positive," Tamaki lifted her hand to his lips. "At first, I turned down the offer of taking over the branch, and then my father reminded me that we needed another lawyer. The only way I could ever run off to another country is with you. I love you too much to leave you behind. What do you say, Haruhi? Will you come with me?"
Slowly, Haruhi nodded. "I will," she whispered. It was an easy choice. An incredible job and a life where she and Tamaki would be closer, and a new country full of new experiences. It was all almost unreal. Tamaki lifted his glass and they toasted with the glittering champagne, and in the soft glow of the candlelight they made love slow and soft, Haruhi almost completely forgetting about why it was that she had been so upset. That was the past, and the future gleamed bright ahead of her, more incredible than she could have dreamed.
"I love you so much, Haruhi," Tamaki whispered in the warm afterglow, and Haruhi smiled.
"I love you too," she told him. She was almost nodding off in his warm embrace on her sofa when a thought crossed her mind. "Hey, you said that the house had a nursery 'just in case'. What were you thinking when you decided to have that added on?"
Tamaki smiled sheepishly and kissed her cheek. "Just being prepared, just being prepared!" he assured her, laughing nervously. Haruhi sighed rather heavily and let her head fall onto his chest, ignoring it. She supposed she could ignore such indiscretions for tonight.
Rating: PG
Warnings: spoilers for the manga's ending, vague references to sex
Summary: Haruhi learns yet again how unpredictable Tamaki can be, and that judging his reasons correctly is impossible.
Written for ouran_contest's "Paul Elridge quote" theme! <3
There wasn't really much to think about, honestly. She got up in the morning, she brushed her teeth and combed her hair and put on whatever outfit she happened to grab from her closet. Before it had been that she went to class, but since graduating from Tokyo's University of Law several weeks earlier, she simply sat around waiting for one of the firms in the area to contact her, as they had said they would at her graduation ceremony. She liked to think that one of them would call, because she had a rather impressive background in education. Her time in Ouran Academy's exchange program had seen to that, and the influence of her rather affluent boyfriend, who had been such a constant presence in her life in those days.
Thinking of Tamaki was getting harder as the days went by. More or less she would sit on the edge of her bed just after rising and think of how they were before. He had been so bright and so cheerful and so devoted to her. Now, he was just as lively but he lived his life mostly separate from hers. The Suoh company kept him busy rushing around closing deals and overseeing new business ventures, and she saw him rarely, if at all. It was with a pang that she recalled that time they had spent together in Boston, growing closer every day. If she had known that the future would force them right apart again, she probably would not have allowed herself to become so emotionally invested in the relationship with the flighty boy. She would never have thought, in those first luminous months of their relationship, that they would be living so apart from each other, living such separate lives.
Haruhi still called him her boyfriend, but tentatively. What good is a relationship if there is no interaction, no soft moments spent together? She knew he saw her as often as he could, but hasty evenings of lovemaking and champagne were not enough to fill the spaces in between these visits. Truthfully, Haruhi was becoming restless. She was become stagnant and she was becoming lonely. There was only so much neglect she could take before something had to change, only so far she could bend before she broke.
"Why don't you just call me already?" she snapped at her cell phone while she was making breakfast. "Do you realize how much I miss you?" she stirred her oatmeal so furiously that some sloshed out onto the floor. She had come to a decision recently that Tamaki was either going to have to change things or lose her. She still loved him with just as much furious passion as she had in those awkward teenage days they had spent getting to know each other in those first weeks of their relationship, but she was older now. Times were different. Haruhi was nearly twenty-two years old, and getting older meant getting wiser. She hated to make waves and she did not like to think of herself as high maintenance, but she could not be content with him sometimes being there for her. He was either in this relationship or he wasn't. Haruhi wanted to know which one it was.
It was with this furious and stubborn notion that she grabbed her phone, forgetting her oatmeal, and dialed that familiar number. It had been the same since he was seventeen years old, and she doubted she could forget it if she tried. As she listened to the phone ringing, she happened to glance at her reflection in the glass face of her china cabinet. It was the one piece of furniture that she had allowed Tamaki to buy for her when she leased her apartment, and the glass was shiny as a mirror. She still kept her hair short these days, but it needed a trim and was starting to tease its way down past her chin a bit. Despite her short hair, she was undeniably a woman at this point. Her face and body had taken on a more feminine look since those days in high school, and it had been nearly two years since someone had referred to her as "little boy".
It took six rings before Haruhi was sent to Tamaki's voicemail, and she was unexplainably furious. After his cheerful voice informed her to leave a message after the beep, she gritted her teeth, waited for the beep, and then lost it completely.
"Tamaki Suoh, you answer your damn phone!" she hissed into the receiver. "I can't tell you how many times I've tried to reach you and gotten this stupid voice recording. I realize you're busy, but all I want is five minutes of your time!" she snapped her phone shut, seething, and steeled herself against tears. Grudgingly she ate her oatmeal and stared into space. She only had to wait five minutes before her phone rang and Tamaki's familiar picture appeared in the font panel. Snatching it up, she made a point to wait at least four rings before she actually answered. "Hello?"
"Haruhi, what's going on?" Tamaki asked, sounding worried. "I got your voicemail, and you were yelling. Are you okay?"
"I need to see you," Haruhi told him, losing most of the fight in her voice. Rather than indignant, now she simply sounded sad and pathetic.
"I know," Tamaki said, sounding sorry. His voice was soothing, and Haruhi was unintentionally calmed. "I'm sorry I'm so busy. I know it's been too long. Can I stop by tonight? I have something to tell you, anyway." his voice was so apologetic and comforting that Haruhi found herself forgetting why she was angry in the first place for a moment.
"Sure," she said tiredly. "I'll be home."
"Wonderful," Tamaki said. "I'll see you at seven. Is that okay?"
He was always so polite, even when he was speaking to Haruhi, who he had known for almost seven years and had been dating for six. Haruhi sighed. "That'll be fine. I'll see you then."
"Until then, Haruhi," he said, and Haruhi was unsure if his debonair tone was intentional or not. They hung up and Haruhi balled her hands into fists and glared at her reflection.
"He's going to break up with you," she told the scared-looking girl in the glass. "How's that for a romantic evening?"
However, Haruhi was a practical woman, she she managed to put all thought of the phone conversation from her mind. She did some shopping, read a book, and watched the news. Seven o'clock rolled around almost too quickly, and though she had less than great expectations for the evening, she put on some slow jazz anyway and lit a few candles. It was a tradition that she and Tamaki had developed over the years of their relationship, and she intended to keep it for as long as she could. Though she was irritated with Tamaki, it didn't stop her from putting on one of the dresses he loved and waiting by the door. There was a dim sense of panic now that he was coming so soon, because Haruhi knew that it was going to be hard to come right out and tell him that he needed to make a choice about whether or not he wanted to keep her. She was tired of feeling lonely, but there was a sense that if he chose to break up, she would be even more lonely.
Tamaki rang the doorbell at seven fifteen, and she let him in promptly. He was dressed in a simple buttonup shirt and dark slacks, and he looked every bit the romantic suitor he was. It was a bit cliche to Haruhi that he was actually carrying roses. Immediately she questioned all her previous notion of what the evening would be when she saw the way he was smiling at her. Maybe she had been wrong to judge his behavior...
"Haruhi!" he said happily, leaping forward to embrace her like a much younger version of himself. He had just turned twenty-five but he looked more like a teenager when he was grinning this way. "I've missed you so much." he kissed her cheek tenderly, and she blinked at him. "It's so good to see you. I'm sorry I've been so busy."
Haruhi wanted to tell him that it was okay, but she could not bring herself to utter the words. it would be a lie. Instead, she smiled weakly. Tamaki handed her the roses, and she accepted them.
"I know they're really no consolation," he told her softly. "But I wanted to get them for you to remind you of how much I love you. It's been too long, but I'm going to make it all up to you, if I can. I have some news for you."
"Okay," Haruhi replied, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible. She headed for the sofa and Tamaki followed her, so she poured them some champagne (cheap champagne; she wasn't about to spend her life savings on a bottle of expensive wine) and stared hard at one of the candles. If he was going to end things with her, it was going to be now, and the sour feeling in the pit of her stomach intensified a hundredfold. It would serve him right if she threw up on him, she supposed.
Tamaki was smiling at her gently, and Haruhi wondered if he had any right to be. "You look very nice in that dress," he told her. "Polka dots suit you."
"Thanks," she replied, but her heart wasn't in it. She couldn't bring herself to look at him.
"Haruhi... what's wrong?" Tamaki asked softly, placing his hand on her arm. It took everything she had for Haruhi not to wrench it away.
"If you're going to say something to me, just say it," Haruhi told him. "I'm tired of being strung along and I just want you to get it over with. So just say it and save me the time worrying to I can get on with my life, okay?"
Tamaki looked concerned. "Haruhi, you sound so bitter. I'm worried. What in the world is going on?"
"Nothing..." Haruhi muttered. It took every bit of willpower she had not to tell him exactly what she was thinking. Instead she simply gave him a weak smile. "Nothing at all. Well, go ahead. I'm listening, Tamaki."
"Well," Tamaki said with a smile. "I had a meeting with the company representatives last night and... I've been chosen to take over the French branch of the company! Isn't that wonderful?"
A different kind of pain flooded Haruhi's stomach. It was true that she didn't see him very often anymore, but she was certainly going to miss him. It gnawed at her insides and she took a sip of champagne. The bubbly liquid dulled the feeling just a bit, and she wondered if maybe she should drink it until she passed out. "That's great, Tamaki. I'm... really happy for you."
"Thank you," Tamaki smiled at her, his eyes soft. "But this is where you come in." he took a drink of champagne and then set his glass down so he could reach into his pocket. He pulled out a square of paper and unfolded it. It was blueprints, and Haruhi was puzzled. "This is the chateau I'm having built in Paris. It has a master bedroom and four bathrooms, guest rooms, a nursery just in case, and two studies. This one is mine and this one, the one overlooking the garden... this one is yours."
Haruhi blinked at him. "What?" she asked.
"I know I probably should have said something before I planned all this," Tamaki said rather sheepishly, giving her a charming smile. "But I... want you to come with me, Haruhi. Your father told me the lease on your apartment is up soon, and I hear France has a wonderful job market for lawyers. But... the Suoh corporation is looking to hire another for our branch in France..."
Haruhi was shocked beyond words as Tamaki handed her a crisp sheet of paper that he had been holding behind the blueprints.
"This is the job offer," Tamaki told her. "You don't have to take it, but I thought you might appreciate the opportunity..."
"This is more money than my college scholarship..." Haruhi said, her eyes wide. "I'd be making this every year? This is more than... than..."
"It's a lot, isn't it?" Tamaki asked her, smiling. "I know I haven't been the most attentive boyfriend, but I want to change that. If we did this, we'd be living together, and we could even see each other at work. We could spend every night together. I've missed you, and I know I've been busy with work, but this way, even if we're both still busy, we'll be busy together. What do you think?"
Wide-eyed, Haruhi simply stared at him. This all seemed too good to be true. Suddenly the prospect of France loomed over her, enticing and exotic and incredible. She had had such low expectations for this evening, and now her heart was swelling with the possibilities. She couldn't even speak. All she could do was stare.
"I... I think..." she said finally. "That it sounds amazing, but are you sure you want to bring me with you?"
"Positive," Tamaki lifted her hand to his lips. "At first, I turned down the offer of taking over the branch, and then my father reminded me that we needed another lawyer. The only way I could ever run off to another country is with you. I love you too much to leave you behind. What do you say, Haruhi? Will you come with me?"
Slowly, Haruhi nodded. "I will," she whispered. It was an easy choice. An incredible job and a life where she and Tamaki would be closer, and a new country full of new experiences. It was all almost unreal. Tamaki lifted his glass and they toasted with the glittering champagne, and in the soft glow of the candlelight they made love slow and soft, Haruhi almost completely forgetting about why it was that she had been so upset. That was the past, and the future gleamed bright ahead of her, more incredible than she could have dreamed.
"I love you so much, Haruhi," Tamaki whispered in the warm afterglow, and Haruhi smiled.
"I love you too," she told him. She was almost nodding off in his warm embrace on her sofa when a thought crossed her mind. "Hey, you said that the house had a nursery 'just in case'. What were you thinking when you decided to have that added on?"
Tamaki smiled sheepishly and kissed her cheek. "Just being prepared, just being prepared!" he assured her, laughing nervously. Haruhi sighed rather heavily and let her head fall onto his chest, ignoring it. She supposed she could ignore such indiscretions for tonight.