(botwg) ஃ Comfort in Emptiness
Series: Habaek's Bride {하백의 신부||Bride of the Water God} by Yun Mi-kyung
Rating: G.
Word Count: 450+
Summary: No matter how I try, I still couldn't break her.
Comments: This is my take on several events on Volume 4 from Bride of the Water God.
Dedicated to: My Soah, akihito
“You missed me didn’t you,” She said with a gentle smile on her face. “Habaek?”
I was taken aback by that sentence and I could feel my cheeks suddenly burn. I was rather shocked when she said that. No, she took the words out of my mouth. I looked away from her as we were walking, “Well,” I said shyly. “Just a little.” I added while my lips were in a soft pout.
I missed you a lot. That is why I was desperate to make you remember and bringing you back.
She softly chuckled and her smile was bright as ever; she was like the sun. I find myself lost in thought just staring at her. I remember the night I threatened her to go back. But she stood firm, so firm I didn’t move her. Not even a small inch. This woman endured my hissy fits and my erratic behavior. I have always and only loved Nakbin. Even to the point of death, I still loved her. But this… her… Soah-is different.
The night I told her I can return her to her world and live her life, she boldly stated that I loved her , even if I didn't. She also said that I would protect her, even if I didn't. She also lied about what I told her for the first time we met, even if I insulted her. I tried to break her, but she is like the earth: still, firm and strong. My eyes slowly studied her, and within me I felt a bitter taste... I knew I was slowly killing her.
I held her hand tightly. My little fingers wrapped around hers and I don’t want to let go. Somehow I felt a lump on my throat. I wanted to tell her how much I feel. Those years of watching her grow, those years of waiting for many moons, those years of envy of seeing men try to woo her, those years of tears that I shed when I saw her in pain-all accumulated and weaved up in this minute, this second, this moment and I let it pass. I never felt so much fear running through my veins. I was afraid of being alone again.
“Is there something wrong?” She asked me, tilting her head slightly.
“No.” I said sternly slightly miffed then averted my gaze from hers.
Are you afraid of being alone, Soah?
My lips quivered and I hesitated. I felt appalled for lying to her; but I can’t tell her my feelings. Not now. Not in this useless, pathetic form. I'm sorry if I couldn't love you. I'm sorry if I couldn't protect you. I felt so much anger within me, that I felt my little heart thumping louder and louder and any moment from now it could burst into pieces like a supernova.
I suddenly thought of Mui.
This is my resolve...let “Mui” move her, let “Mui” embrace her, let “Mui” kiss her, let "Mui" protect her, let “Mui” carry her to the skies to pluck the stars, let “Mui” steal her heart …after all, “his” words and actions are mine. Let Mui play this long charade till I get myself cured from this wretched curse or the time when I finally find the guts to tell her myself. I want her heart to be mine and only mine. I forced myself not to cry and I felt comfort when her hand was knitted to my stubby, little fingers. I looked at her, she was still smiling. She bent forward and kissed my head. I couldn't look at her...
My darling wife, would you ever forgive me for all the lies I’ve been telling you?
Rating: G.
Word Count: 450+
Summary: No matter how I try, I still couldn't break her.
Comments: This is my take on several events on Volume 4 from Bride of the Water God.
Dedicated to: My Soah, akihito
“You missed me didn’t you,” She said with a gentle smile on her face. “Habaek?”
I was taken aback by that sentence and I could feel my cheeks suddenly burn. I was rather shocked when she said that. No, she took the words out of my mouth. I looked away from her as we were walking, “Well,” I said shyly. “Just a little.” I added while my lips were in a soft pout.
I missed you a lot. That is why I was desperate to make you remember and bringing you back.
She softly chuckled and her smile was bright as ever; she was like the sun. I find myself lost in thought just staring at her. I remember the night I threatened her to go back. But she stood firm, so firm I didn’t move her. Not even a small inch. This woman endured my hissy fits and my erratic behavior. I have always and only loved Nakbin. Even to the point of death, I still loved her. But this… her… Soah-is different.
The night I told her I can return her to her world and live her life, she boldly stated that I loved her , even if I didn't. She also said that I would protect her, even if I didn't. She also lied about what I told her for the first time we met, even if I insulted her. I tried to break her, but she is like the earth: still, firm and strong. My eyes slowly studied her, and within me I felt a bitter taste... I knew I was slowly killing her.
I held her hand tightly. My little fingers wrapped around hers and I don’t want to let go. Somehow I felt a lump on my throat. I wanted to tell her how much I feel. Those years of watching her grow, those years of waiting for many moons, those years of envy of seeing men try to woo her, those years of tears that I shed when I saw her in pain-all accumulated and weaved up in this minute, this second, this moment and I let it pass. I never felt so much fear running through my veins. I was afraid of being alone again.
“Is there something wrong?” She asked me, tilting her head slightly.
“No.” I said sternly slightly miffed then averted my gaze from hers.
Are you afraid of being alone, Soah?
My lips quivered and I hesitated. I felt appalled for lying to her; but I can’t tell her my feelings. Not now. Not in this useless, pathetic form. I'm sorry if I couldn't love you. I'm sorry if I couldn't protect you. I felt so much anger within me, that I felt my little heart thumping louder and louder and any moment from now it could burst into pieces like a supernova.
I suddenly thought of Mui.
This is my resolve...let “Mui” move her, let “Mui” embrace her, let “Mui” kiss her, let "Mui" protect her, let “Mui” carry her to the skies to pluck the stars, let “Mui” steal her heart …after all, “his” words and actions are mine. Let Mui play this long charade till I get myself cured from this wretched curse or the time when I finally find the guts to tell her myself. I want her heart to be mine and only mine. I forced myself not to cry and I felt comfort when her hand was knitted to my stubby, little fingers. I looked at her, she was still smiling. She bent forward and kissed my head. I couldn't look at her...
My darling wife, would you ever forgive me for all the lies I’ve been telling you?