fear...
There are quite some things bothering me now. He is still mine after 3 months, and apperantly he still loves me. Which is a first, and I love him too, so no worries there. What I can't stop myself from thinking is why does he still love me? Why hasn't he left me yet, like the other people I have known throughout my life? He tells me he isn't like other people, which I know, but he cannot be blind. He must've noticed just those things other people hate me for. So why doesn't he? It is just something on my mind. My greatest fear at the moment is losing him. Why do I make it so hard to stay? Because no matter what he sais, I am very trying, highly annoying, and I come with a past. Which no one knows about... I want to telll him, but he doesn't remember most of the things I say anyway. But he does his best to understand me, to love me and to be there for me. I only wish he could. So I know I am slowly driving him out, but I am trying my very best to stop it. He might not even notice it yet, untill he gets fed up with my tricks. So in advance I am sorry, more then you will ever realise, for I love you and I am the luckiest girl in the world to have found someone like you. Now I only hope you can put up with me for as long as possible. Only time will tell. Only you can decide. Only I know how much I'll miss you.