(Untitled)

[maraalyn]

i'm new to this community, so i'm not sure if i should introduce myself. but my name is marissa and i'm 16. things have been really rough for me lately and i kind of feel like none of my friends can really help. i wanna explain my problems in depth so you guys can understand me, but i'm not gonna do that all at once. right now i'm just upset

Comments

[eriktrips]

I don't know if you want to hear from a guy, but I am a sexual abuse and rape survivor of many years, and what the hardcore feminists say about rape is true: if you said no and he didn't stop, you were raped. It is up to you whether you want to identify your situation that way, but you have the right to deny access to your body without engaging in physical combat.

I would strongly suggest getting in touch with a rape crisis center. You might start with RAINN, since they are online and could provide you with online counseling if you weren't ready to talk on the telephone. I have not used them myself, but I know they are a nationally respected organization

[maraalyn]

thank you so so so much. an online hotline would definitely be better for me because i'm scared to call hotlines.

[miripanda]

I so, so, so hear you. First off, if you died right now it would definitely matter - your problems might be over but you can have no idea how it would ripple out and affect your family.

I was sexually assaulted in 2006 - I was drunk and fading in and out of a blackout so the friend I was with assumed I was fine and just let him into her apartment with me. I wasn't fine. Sober, I would not have consented to let this person get physical with me, and there is no such thing as consent when you're intoxicated.

Can you see your school's counselor about what happened? What you should know right off the bat is that it is NOT your fault, and you were NOT asking for it. A woman's default stance is NOT yes, whatever society tells her (or the men she's with).

It might take some time and good talk therapy - I had trouble sleeping, and some PTSD related to the place it happened and the people I was with, but it does get better.

Hang in there.

And thanks for sharing.

[maraalyn]

my friend's mom is a counselor and i think i'm going to talk to her. i'm just scared like when i go to talk to someone i'm either gonna explain the situation calmly like it doesn't bother me and then that's not gonna help me, or i'm going to break down about it and be humiliated. but thank you so much, and thanks for sharing your story too :)

[miripanda]

A good counselor knows how to listen to what you're not saying, too. I can explain what happened to me in the most rational terms - but that doesn't mean I wasn't upset. *hugs*

You never have to be alone in this.

[maraalyn]

okay that makes me feel better, i don't want to like be pressured into showing all my feelings, you know? but thanks, you made me feel a lot better. i was just having such a horrible day yesterday.