random thought

[sujuhappiness]

I want to die... I think everyone's had that one thought at one point in their lives. Some have it (the thought) more than others, some ignore it and are able to move on, others bow down to it and crumble unable to get past that awful crushing weight of those thoughts. sometimes I wonder what type I am? but for now... "live!" I tell myself, "it's

Comments

[babysuju]

What's wrong baby? Well yeah everyone always has that thought once in their life but for me it worth more by living then dying...

[sujuhappiness]

I know, my head knows this, but sometimes what I thought I knew, turns out to be untrue. Somethings just hit me in my blind spot, and i'm floundering a bit, but I have things that keep me floating, mostly my family, my little sisters that look up to me and I just have to keep on moving forward.

[sujuhappiness]

These thoughts have gone through my head for a long time, and I usually just ignore it and keep on living, hoping for that better tomorrow. you know? Things do get better sometimes and if they don't I grit my teeth and move forward and try to keep myself away from the thoughts until time has passed and I can look at it more calmly.

But my closest friend, on I've shared over twelve years of friendship died, not because of an accident, not because of illness, She chose death, and I never realized what she was going through. I think that I wasn't as good a friend as I thought I was. She was my rock when times were hard and I wasn't able to be hers.