Clementia (2/2)
“Hyung.”
Changmin has stopped asking for things. Instead, he demands them now, as if they are his birthright. This may or may not be Yunho’s fault, but he refuses to feel guilty for it.
But this time Changmin sounds strangely nervous. Well, not really, his voice is as strong and demanding as always, but Yunho knows better. Changmin wants something he’s not sure Yunho will give him. This more than interests him.
He gives Changmin an appraising look. “Yes, Changmin.”
Changmin glares at him defiantly, as if daring Yunho to deny him, but Yunho doesn’t know why, because he doesn’t even know what the request is. Of course, it’s not a request, Yunho knows better than that.
Yunho raises an eyebrow.
Changmin comes into the room, locking the door behind him, and then proceeds to pace like a caged tiger, occasionally throwing him well-practiced glares for good measure.
Yunho rolls his eyes, and then focuses on his manga. Ignoring Changmin is always better than giving him attention.
It does the trick, as always. Yunho wants to laugh at how predictable his maknae is, but he doesn’t. He likes his private parts where they are, thankyouverymuch.
Changmin plops down on the bed beside him and then stares at him some more. “Hyung.”
“What, Changmin?”
“Look at me.”
Yunho sighs dramatically, and then lifts his eyes to Changmin’s. Changmin grabs his face and smashes their mouths together. No finesse, that’s for sure, but Yunho doesn't complain. He rather likes the younger's kisses, demanding or sweet, which Changmin has become more prone to showering on him recently. Yunho likes these recent developments.
Yunho lets him lick and suck his lips for a while, but then draws back to murmur, “What is it?”
Changmin brings their mouths together again and mumbles, “Iwantyoutofuckme.”
Yunho’s brain stops. He’s not sure if he just projected what he wants to hear in Changmin’s words, because he’s sure the words ‘fuck’ and ‘me’ were in there somewhere. He desperately hopes that’s not the case, but he has to be sure. He pulls back again, trying not to breathe wrong. “What?”
Changmin is bright red. “I want you to fuck me,” he says, and he’s looking anywhere but at Yunho.
So he did hear right. That doesn’t fix his brain though. “Really? But...why?”
Changmin looks at him now, but he looks so exasperated, Yunho wants to apologize. He’s not sure for what, but he probably should anyway. “Because, hyung.”
“Because why, though? Where did this come from?”
Changmin scowls furiously, but all Yunho can think about is how cute he is, which is probably the opposite of how Changmin wants to be seen right now. “Because I’m gay, and I want my first time to be with someone I trust.” His voice is calm but he’s blushing again. Illegally adorable.
Yunho sits back. Someone he trusts. “Huh,” he says intelligently.
Changmin rolls his eyes, looking completely at ease. It seems Yunho’s less-than-clever comments are good for something at least.
Changmin waits patiently for all of ten seconds before he demands, “Well?”
Yunho takes a deep breath, so deep it murders his own wants and burning desire for Changmin and brings out the good leader and hyung in him. “Changmin, I…” But the thought stops there and Changmin is starting to look vaguely offended, so Yunho hastens to continue before he can jump to the wrong conclusion. Like, that Yunho doesn’t want him. Boy, how wrong that is. “Look, Changmin, this isn’t like asking me for banana milk or chips, or even a kiss. This is, well, it’s a pretty big deal, and not something that you should-”
“Hyung,” Changmin interrupts, and his cheeks slowly redden as he speaks, “hyung I know this is a big deal. You have no idea how much I thought about this. And I really want this. A lot.”
Yunho is silent. He can’t believe the situation, can’t believe that the person he has lusted after for so long wants him to be his first, would be willing to give Yunho that honor, because no matter how he looked at it, it was exactly that, an honor.
But he wouldn't let himself lose control. "Well, alright," he says, trying to sound appropriately reluctant, even though he feels anything but.
Changmin's eyes practically sparkled and it did some funny things to his chest.
Which is how he found himself naked above a just-as-naked Changmin a mere 15 minutes. He'd wanted to do this properly, of course, so he had kissed Changmin till he was nearly drunk, all the while removing his clothes slowly layer by layer, as if unveiling a rose. His hands glided across smooth skin, the muscles under his palms jumping under his touch. Through the haze of lust that clouded his mind, he was able to keep a careful gouge of Changmin's reactions, seeing what made him gasp and moan and squirm. He was determined to make his first time absolutely wonderful.
He looks down at the flushed and dazed younger boy beneath him. Changmin's cock is hard and wet, his hands gripping Yunho's biceps tightly. He watches as Yunho spreads lube on his fingers.
"You know what this is for, right?" Yunho has to ask, because there's a chance that Changmin really doesn't know how gay sex works.
Changmin scowls, managing to look superior and offended while panting, sweaty hair obscuring his eyes. "Of course I do."
Yunho tsks, enjoying this far more than he'd like to admit. "Changmin you naughty boy, have you been watching porn again?"
Changmin scowls harder, even though he looks slightly embarrassed. "I'm twenty, hyung."
Yunho smiles blandly; he's well aware of how old Changmin is. He brings his fingers to Changmin's entrance, keeping his eyes locked on the other. Changmin tenses up a bit, no doubt nervous. Yunho stops, and then says, "We can stop, Changdola, if you don't want to," even though he's so hard he'll probably cry if he doesn't relieve his aching cock right now.
But Changmin shakes his head, to Yunho's immense relief. "No, I want this, I'm just a bit..."
Yunho leans down and kisses him. "I know, it's okay, I won't hurt you. But you need to relax, or it'll be harder."
Changmin nods and takes a deep breath, then motions for Yunho to go ahead. Yunho kisses him again while sliding a finger into Changmin's tight hole. Changmin makes a slightly pained sound and Yunho hastens to sooth him with words and kisses and light touches all over his body with his other hand.
When he's sure Changmin can take more, he lubes his fingers again and slides in two, watching Changmin's face with rapt attention. Changmin moans quietly, so he takes it as a good sign. He continues to stretch him, slowly being driven insane as the sounds Changmin makes grow louder and more frequent. He slides in three, but he’s not sure if Changmin notices, busy as he is.
When he’s done all he could, he withdraws his fingers, which Changmin notices immediately. He looks up at him with hazy, slightly accusing eyes. “Why’d you stop?” he slurs.
Yunho smiles nefariously. “Don’t you want something bigger?”
Changmin breathes in sharply, eyes suddenly focused and completely dark. “Yes,” he breathes, and Yunho feels just as breathless.
It’ll probably be easier for Changmin if Yunho took him on his hands and knees, but Yunho doesn’t want to miss a single moment of Changmin’s face while taken by pleasure. He adjusts them so that he’s snug between Changmin’s long legs. He guides himself to Changmin’s entrance, and pauses while looking at him. Changmin nods almost imperceptibly, but his entire body is trembling from anticipation.
Yunho steels himself, and then slowly begins to push in, even though he himself is quivering from excitement. He has to be slow, because the chances of hurting Changmin are too high, and he never wants to be the cause of Changmin’s pain.
Changmin’s face screws up as his body tenses, and Yunho has to stop. “Changmin, Changmin baby, it’s alright, just relax,” he murmurs, fingers rubbing circles on his hipbones.
Changmin takes a deep breath, and then relaxes enough to let Yunho in all the way. Once he’s completely seated and dying from the effort of not coming, Yunho leans down, slipping his arms under Changmin’s. Changmin brings his own up around Yunho’s neck, face buried in his shoulder.
He whispers soothing words into his ear, until Changmin nods and says “Move.”
So Yunho moves, slowly at first.
Everything after that comes in the form of flashes, like clips from a movie. He remembers Changmin’s moans and gasps. He remembers the way his hands clutched at Yunho’s back, fingers digging into his skin. He remembers his name spilling breathlessly from those lips. He remembers the scent of arousal and sex and musk in his bedroom. He remembers Changmin’s tight heat, gripping him every time he moved out, only to be sucked back in. He remembers the fall, and how glorious it felt, to have something of his inside Changmin.
And he remembers Changmin curled safely in his arms, tired and sated and practically glowing.
He turns to Yunho, eyes heavy lidded. “Hyung,” he says sleepily.
“Mmm,” Yunho mumbles, heart still pounding.
“Let’s do that again. Another time,” and the words are whispered and hushed against Yunho’s jaw.
Yunho smiles, eyes still closed. “Okay, Changminnie.”
***
“Yunho.”
Yunho doesn’t remember when the brat began calling him that, but he can’t bring himself to mind.
“Yes, Changmin.”
Changmin shifts closer to him on the couch. “I think we should be exclusive.”
Yunho stops reading, and looks up at him. “Sorry?”
Changmin glares at him. “Stop pretending not to understand.”
“But I don’t understand. What do you mean we should be exclusive? Like, boyfriends?”
Changmin glares harder.
“Because I was under the impression that we already are boyfriends,” Yunho continues, even though his insides are shaking and he wants to whoop in delight. He was under no such impression, but Changmin doesn’t have to know that. He’ll feel less embarrassed of his request if Yunho acts like it isn’t a big deal. Of course it’s a big fucking deal, but not a bad kind. “Unless you’ve been with someone on the side?” He narrows his eyes with suspicion he doesn’t feel. He knows full well Changmin hasn’t looked at anyone but Yunho, and never has.
Changmin looks torn between bewilderment and relief and indignance at being accused of cheating. On their up-till-now non-existent relationship. That Yunho just cemented into being, and would have done long ago, if he has known Changmin was willing to take that step with him.
“I have not!”
“Good, then we’re good,” Yunho says with satisfaction, and then goes back to his book nonchalantly, as if his entire world didn’t just flip on it’s axis. In a good way.
He can feel Changmin scowling at him, and hides a smile. After a while, when Changmin doesn’t do anything but sit there staring at him, he looks up again. “What is it?”
Changmin huffs, and it’s so cute Yunho wants to kiss him. “You’re an idiot.”
And he grabs Yunho’s face and grants his wish.
***
“Yunho.”
He hears him, but he doesn’t look up. He doesn’t want to see the same pain, the same betrayal and anxiety and horrible feeling of being so lost that he knows must be etched on his features, on Changmin’s face.
He did his best to protect Changmin from hurt, but this pain isn’t anything he could ever have foreseen, or protected him from.
He stares at the floor of the dance studio, the place they spent countless hours together, sweating and exhausted and occasionally in pain. But they were together.
And now they’re not.
They could be, but Yunho is so lost, he doesn’t know what to do. He’s supposed to know what to do, isn’t he the leader? But he feels all of five years old, when he had crawled into his mother’s arm, crying from nightmares.
Changmin sighs and comes to sit next to him, shoulders touching his.
“Hyung,” Changmin says quietly.
He hasn’t called Yunho hyung in ages. He shifts, to let him know he’s listening, even though he can’t respond.
“Let’s not leave.”
There. Now he has a little guidance, a little beacon of light, an inkling of what he should do.
“Let’s stay.”
So he follows, follows the only person who has never betrayed him. He exhales.
“Okay Changminnie.”
***
“Yunho.”
Yunho hums in reply.
Changmin kisses his cheek. “Let’s be a duo.”
When those words are whispered against his heaving chest, his cooling skin, overheated from Changmin and his overwhelming comfort, he follows again.
“Let’s be a duo. We can show them.”
He nuzzles into Changmin’s neck. The Okay, Changminnie doesn’t need to be said.
***
“Yunho.”
There’s something different about Changmin’s voice, but Yunho can’t quite put his finger on exactly what.
He lifts his head from the pillow to look at his lover. The exhilaration of finishing their Nissan Stadium concert with overwhelming success, and their resulting tumble into bed as soon as they got home, high from the adrenaline, the quick movements and slick skin-on-skin and moans, all of it is causing his eyes to shine.
“What is it?”
Changmin looks so happy, Yunho wants to freeze this moment in time. His eyes are soft and bright. He snuggles closer, hands wrapping around Yunho as best he can, chin on his chest.
“Let’s stay together forever.”
Yunho smiles, and kisses him gently and slowly, pouring all his love for Changmin into it.
“Okay, Changminnie.”
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