hunter s thompson can just go unshoot himself for all i care

[sulphuroxide]

this is a new filter

Comments

[mallorys_camera]

For what it's worth I'm reading...

I've never gotten Vegas as an entertainment venue, frankly. Good place to kill oneself maybe. It depresses the hell out of me.

What makes life worth living? Love. Meaningful work.

Other than that... people have wa-a-ay too much free time these days.

[sulphuroxide]

its not entertainment. it's distraction.

and i dont think there is enough time for anything. if anything there's not enough time for all the possibilities.

i should become selfish and just fucking disappear. but that would be just as stupid as everyone else. suicide in a different way.

[mallorys_camera]

But you're wrong. If you didn't have too much free time, you wouldn't be looking for "distraction." Think about it. Stuff you're busy with doesn't feel real to you, I suspect.

[sulphuroxide]

i see what you mean. perhaps they have free time. but speaking for myself, i dont feel like i have time for myself very much at all.

[shinkyoku]

I am feeling the same kind of discontent.. something feels.. off, wrong, even. I'm not angry, just.. nothing feels right, you know?

[sulphuroxide]

no. nothing does. i think this free-fall is due to a loss of valuation; i am not sure what has real value right now, so i dont know how to lead my life in a way that i can cherish.

[bel_ebat]

no one is going to FEEL like a writer or philosopher alllll of the time-and really, i don't know if one should/can!

i have this (not supported by anyone as far as i know) theory that people with extreme inner lives, can often cycle through two phases: extreme action, extreme reflection. i think a lot of people live a life of combined action and reflection, but for some people (these people who live in their heads), you largely are doing one or the other. and you are always uncomfortable if you are not in the thick of one of the extremes.

[makimonster]

I agree with this, it's similar to what I do. To survive we have to be able to filter out some noise. But it's hard being content with one's limitations. Or figuring out the cause and effect of things. I just saw Red Cliff the other day. Why is war so intrinsic to human nature? If I heard the radio correctly, the people the US deems responsible for the 9/11 attacks have been put on trial only THIS YEAR--years after the attack. This should have happened before the war in Iraq. I don't understand why people do the things they do. I feel like half the time I'm just trying to untangle myself from this mess, but it's our environment, and it's inevitable to escape.

[sulphuroxide]

i liked red cliff. well i love the romance of the three kingdoms story. read so many translations of them! =D i think part of the problem is that society isn't rational. people aren't rational. you think society operates in a manner that is consistent and logical but it doesn't... i mean the whole of a movie like magnolia is to give the illusion that there is a 'rational' if inexplicable connection between strangers in a microcosm... that things can be explained and made sense of (even if frogs come from the sky) we have a place in the universe.

or fight club where you can magically interconnect with humanity as a whole and DO SHIT. naw, it's more like ghost in the shell: stand alone complex where you try and make sense of it and it doesn't. it has its own will and properties and events emerge with continuity but without any kind of grasp of where these events come from or how they will change everything that comes afterwards... alain badiou's event.

[sulphuroxide]

you think i have an extreme inner life? i find my best and most wonderful times in my life are when action and thought intermix to such a degree that everything has signify-ance. it was like i would eat and breathe networking, or eat and breathe programming or philosophy or whatever. i mean that the two are really the same and what's inside and what's outside are so conflated that the distinction disappears; my skin and the world are gone and there is only the vastness of being-there in the heideggerian sense.

[cherryoctopi]

paint. write. vent. i also disagree when i look at these priorities we raise our future children with, in terms of sexuality. however, these kids are going to have so much more opportunity. there are great kids out there and wonderful people. we can connect on a constructive level. my role would be raising my own child one day.
everybody gets frustrated, but we control the way we deal with it. i take a lot of drives. vegas creeps me out as well. it's such a shady city.

[sulphuroxide]

im not sure i want kids. i mean i'd like to raise someone and teach them and set them forth to grow. but as far as reproducing, breeding... i dunno it seems like so much sacrifice. im not sure that i am selfless enough to do it.

[yitz]

kids and a healthy marriage add a lot of meaning to anyone's life. (it's an unending challenge to better yourself)

giving yourself up for something bigger than you is extremely rewarding..

which is in a way what you were talking about: right now you see everyone giving themselves to these meaningless endeavors.. it seems like it's investing themselves in something worthless that's the problem.

the sooner you step off the stage and make room for your descendants to come into their own is the sooner you get in touch with a deeper maturity and appreciation for life -- at least that's how i'm feeling lately.. (says a man who is 32 and a father for only a few years.)

[sulphuroxide]

hm. perhaps. im still not ready to do that, for sure. there's so much more i want to do still, and if i had kids or had to make way for someone else, it would feel like a burden, or something beside the point.

welcome back, btw, how have you been? should i add you back on lj or are you going to disappear back into the vast inter-ocean?

[sulphuroxide]

certainly i am an intellectual in how i use intellectualisms to designate and process the world. but that kind of synthesis usually just makes me slow to respond emotionally to anything...