Unspoken
Title: Unspoken
Pairing: HanHae, Friendship!KyuHanHae
Rating: PG
Genre: Angst
Warnings: Character death
Summary: I hate summaries. Does this count?
“Hyung, here, the nurse said to keep this.”
“Huh? Aren’t they supposed to help keep our valuables?”
“These are only coins hyung. Seriously, how much do you think they’re worth? Oh, and also, I’m bringing the hundreds of dollars that you had on you home.”
Hangeng nodded in thanks as Kyuhyun shifted to arrange his belongings. He put them neatly into the drawers of the bedside table.
“There, I’ve put everything that you need in here. The nurses will be here to assist if ever you need anything. And before I forget, Donghae said he’ll come visit you when he’s done with his work-“
“All right, all right, I got it.”
Kyuhyun frowned at Hangeng’s impatient tone. “Hey…”
Hangeng looked to his dongsaeng who called for his attention.
“…”
“Okay, thanks a lot Kyu. Now get back to your office already. You’ve stayed with me long enough.”
“Hyung-“
Hangeng smiled. “It’s all right. It’s just weakness in my lower limbs. Don’t worry too much.”
Kyuhyun sighed in defeat. “Fine, but make sure you stay in bed.” He pointed to the sign over Hangeng’s head. “See, ‘complete rest in bed’.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, now run along before your supervisor fires you.”
Kyuhyun turned to walk away, but stopped as he approached the door. Taking one last glance back, smiling when Hangeng smiled and waved his hand, he promised, “I’ll come after work too.”
***
“-and that stupid man just left without even apologising!”
Kyuhyun rounded the corner and approached Hangeng’s warded room. He chuckled at Donghae’s excited voice which came through the barrier of the door. “Which stupid man could have made you this angry?” He smiled as he entered the room. Both men looked up at him and the younger one replied immediately.
“This guy from my store, of course! He knocked over bottles of beer and just walked away without even saying anything. And I had to clean up the mess he made!”
Hangeng and Kyuhyun laughed lightly at the frustration in Donghae’s voice. He was seldom this heavy with his tone. The man must have really annoyed him much.
Kyuhyun moved to sit down on the chair next to Donghae.
“Anyway, before you came, the nurse came to tell us that Hannie has to stay in bed and not to get down from it at all-“
“That, I know.” Kyuhyun nodded in acknowledgement.
“Oh, I see…”
“…”
“Ah! Hannie, would you like a drink?”
“That’d be great.” Hangeng smiled and nodded.
“All right, Kyuhyunnie, let’s go.” Donghae said as he got up and pulled on Kyuhyun’s wrist.
“Let’s?”
“Yeah, come on, let’s go.” Donghae said quickly and gave a peck on Hangeng’s nose before pulling Kyuhyun with him.
Once outside the room, Kyuhyun stopped Donghae. “What do you want to tell me?”
Glancing back as though Hangeng could hear them, “Not here.”
***
“It’s his heart that was causing the weakness in his lower limbs.”
“…”
“I know.”
“How is it that you know everything?” Donghae turned suddenly to the person beside him.
Kyuhyun looked up from his drink and turned to Donghae. “I was here when he was admitted, Donghae. Moreover,” He straightened and leaned back on the bench they’re sitting on and spread his legs in front of him. “It’s a cardiac ward that he’s staying in. We wouldn’t expect anything less, would we?”
Nodding, the smaller man leaned back and spread his legs in the same fashion as the other. Sighing, he flicked his head to move the fringe that had came down and was covering his eye, “Kyuhyunnie-“
“Hm?”
“…”
“He’ll be all right.”
“…”
“That’s right.”
***
It was around two hours later that Donghae returned to the room only to find Hangeng already asleep. He sets the hot cup of drink he had in his hand on the table and moved to sit on the chair. Donghae tucked the blanket around Hangeng snugly and used a hand to lightly brush his hair. He smiled down into the sleeping face of his boyfriend.
Your love is magical, that's how I feel
Donghae caress the cheek he adored so much, tilt his head in his deep train of thoughts while marveling at how soft the skin was.
But I have not the words here to explain
He trailed his forefinger from jaw to chin, and used his thumb to lightly graze Hangeng’s bottom lip. Donghae quickly extracted his fingers when the older man stirred slightly. Sagging on a soft sigh, he crouch his back and leaned down and closer to his boyfriend.
Studying his profile closely, Donghae can’t help but touch his face again. Trailing the bridge of his nose, he giggled inwardly at the cute bump that Hangeng had often complained about and had hated so much. Smiling widely, he drew light little circles on the tip of his nose and moved in to lightly touch his lips to it in a gentle kiss.
He almost yelped out loud in surprise when the person underneath suddenly moved his head and pecked him on the chin. He jerked back in slight shock.
“Whoa-“
Hangeng chuckled lightly and looked up tiredly at his boyfriend. “I didn’t know the drink was so far that you need hours to get.”
Donghae pouted before smiling and leaned forward again. Tapping Hangeng on the cheek with a finger, “And you should be resting already. Go back to sleep.”
“How can I sleep when my boyfriend can’t keep his hands to himself?” Hangeng laughed audibly but softly.
“Hannie-“ Donghae pouted again and hit him lightly on the arm.
“Ah, is this how you treat a sick man?”
Donghae found himself cringe at the words. They would have been harmless many other times, but not right now, when Hangeng is lying weak in the hospital bed. He shuddered slightly, “All right, I’m sorry. Get back to sleep, you look so tired.” Tucking Hangeng back into the covers again, watching him settle as he fluttered his eyes shut, Donghae prayed silently in his heart.
Rest, Hannie.
***
Donghae threw down his work on hand and rushed to the hospital after Kyuhyun’s call to him.
“Kyuhyun!”
Said person snapped his head towards the voice and sprung from his crouched position against the wall outside Hangeng’s room.
“Donghae-“
He had tears sliding down his cheeks. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Kyuhyun chanted as he grabbed and held Donghae’s hands tightly in his.
“How is Hannie doing?” Donghae had no time to listen to any explanation now.
“The team is trying their best.”
Kyuhyun still held Donghae’s hand in a death grip. He looked down in guilt and shook his head. Hot tears that were Kyuhyun’s fell heavily onto Donghae’s hands, his chin wobbled as he looks at his friend, helpless and broken.
The door opened and nurses rushed out. The doctor in charge followed before looking around. He stopped as he spotted the two men. “Donghae-shii? Kyuhyun-sshi?”
Both men turned and rushed up to the doctor.
The doctor bent his head. “I-I’m sorry. We tried our best.”
Kyuhyun swallowed thickly and staggered. The wall was all that supported him as he slid down. He trembled from the sheer force of his emotions that washed through him. Letting out an anguish cry, he slammed his hand onto the floor and ran off.
“I’m… s-sorry. Donghae-sshi…”
Donghae looked up through blurred vision as the tears collected and felt heavy in his eyes.
“You can see him for one last time.”
“…”
“Thank you.”
***
“Kyu, I need to go to the loo.”
“All right, I’ll call the nurse.”
“No-“ Hangeng pulled Kyuhun back before he could leave him. “I want to go by myself.”
“But hyung, you’re not supposed to. I’ll ask the nurse for help instead.”
“No,” Hangeng said again as his hold on Kyuhyun’s wrist tightened. “I want go to the bathroom. Help me Kyu?”
“Hyung…” Kyuhyun whined. They stared at each other for several moments and neither was willing to relent. “Fine, but I’ll bring you, all right?”
“Of course.” Hangeng beamed.
***
Donghae entered the suddenly cold room and saw Hangeng immediately, wrapped in white canvas. His chin wobbled as he walks hesitantly forward. His gait was unstable as his body shook from the sobs that he so desperately was holding back.
He shakily reached Hangeng and looked down into his pale and serene face. He’d always thought he looked beautiful.
“Hi Hannie,” Donghae’s voice shook as he forced the words out on a breathy whisper. “You look so tired still. Do rest okay?”
When Hangeng lay unmoving and unresponsive towards his question, Donghae’s tears slid down, free from its restraints. One of his hands reached out and brushed his hair. He strokes his cool cheek and shuts his eyes at the same time. A sob escaped, then another and another until he was bent at the waist as he laid his forehead on Hangeng’s body and cried. Events of the previous night came in a swarm, memories hit him, and he found himself crying harder.
You were just fine yesterday.
“Donghae.”
Said person straightened at the call of his name and looked over his shoulder. Kyuhyun was standing by the entryway of the room. Donghae just stared and said nothing. That was when Kyuhyun moved, unsure and hesitantly to beside him.
Kyuhyun’s hands were clenched in a tight fist, so tight his knuckles were white from the force. They were trembling and Donghae wrapped his hand around one of the fists in an assuring grip. He looked into Donghae’s eyes and hated himself more when all he found was sympathy and comprehension. He shook his head. “No, don’t do this to me. I don’t deserve this.”
“Kyuhyunnie-“ Donghae willed his voice to work. “Don’t blame yourself.”
Kyuhyun swallowed the bile that formed in his throat. “Donghae…” He looked helplessly at his hyung.
Donghae pulled Kyuhyun into a tight hug as he felt was what he needed most right at the moment. Kyuhyun clung to him and cried into the shoulder so willingly offered. They held on to each other as though they were the only thing left in the world that kept their sanity.
***
Donghae lay in his bed that night after he’d tucked Kyuhyun into his. He sighed as he snuggled deeper into the warmth the covers offered.
He didn’t blame Kyuhyun, really. He didn’t know how to deal with it initially because everything came too sudden. He was just talking fine with Hangeng the previous night and the next day… Nothing made sense, even up till now.
Like a carousel, his mind started spinning and weaving back up memories that were buried deep in him. Turning his face into his pillow, Donghae let it swallow his sobs and tears. He clutched at the soft of the pillow in desperation as he let his mind release itself from its reins of emotions.
Everything was about Hangeng before and it will stay that way after. Donghae found himself smiling suddenly in the midst of his hiccups while he swallowed his sobs. He remembered something.
Yah, Donghae ah.
Hm?
I told Kyuhyun something just now.
Eh?
I told him I’m not afraid of the dark.
…
Ok-ay…
-smack-
Hey, what was that for?
You’re my boyfriend, you can’t gimme that!
What?
I’m actually afraid of the dark.
…
Well?
Well what?
I lied to Kyuhyun. For goodness sake, give me some lecture.
Hannie ah… He already knows.
END--