Birthday fic-- The best thing
Title: The best thing
Pairing: HanHae
Rating: PG
Summary: When a person cries and the first drop of tears comes from the right eye, its happiness.
A/N: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TORI! I love you~ ^^
“Hyung, you know I love you right?” Donghae stood in the doorway of Hangeng’s room and spoke to the elder’s back as the other had his eyes glued to the monitor screen. Donghae bit down hard on the lower lip that was quivering uncontrollably. His hands were clammy and shivering and there was nowhere he could find a way to stop the uncertainties dragging at his heart.
Hangeng turned his head when a familiar voice broke his concentration from the online story blog he was reading. His boyfriend was there looking at him with a pair of too watery eyes and he could only blink in confusion. “Yeah, I know.” Hangeng blinked again and cleared his throat, squirming in his seat in awkwardness as Donghae continued staring at him. “I love you too.”
“Okay.” Donghae’s voice broke as he answered and quickly moved out of sight. Shutting the door quickly, he scuttled back to his room, locking himself into the dark comfort and slumping against the wooden door. He slid down until he was sitting on the floor and hugs his knees to his chest. His body was trembling- Donghae bit down on his knuckle to stifle the sobs as tears flowed down his cheeks. His eyes were shut tight as he tried to block out the immense throbbing pain in his heart.
The moment I knew you didn’t mean it anymore, was the moment I said “I love you” and you hesitated before responding “I love you too.”
***
He woke when it was getting hot where the sunlight hit his body. His back was sore from crouching, his legs were numb, his arms were aching, Donghae found himself huddled at the corner beside the door where he’d slept all night. Frowning as he rubs his throbbing head, he slowly stood-wincing as his limbs and back protested. He staggered a little before dragging his feet to the bathroom.
Pathetic.
He thought as he saw his reflection in the mirror. His eyes were red and puffy, his bottom lip has traces of dried blood and Donghae knew he must have bitten down on it too hard. His cheeks felt dry which reminded him of how much he’d cried before he drifted off in exhaustion. His face looked sunken and dull-his eyes carried every emotion he’s feeling and Donghae could only mock himself with the slightest smirk. That was the only expression he could work to frame his face.
***
“Yah!” Heechul shouted and hit Hangeng playfully on the shoulder. “Give it back to me!” He was smiling widely as he exclaimed, reaching to grab his scarf as Hangeng swung it here and there- teasing him.
“Who’s talking?” Hangeng looked around purposely, ignoring the flailing man before him.
“Why you-“ Heechul tackled the younger man and stumbles them both onto the nearby couch. They wrestled but the slender man found his efforts to be useless against the stronger Hangeng, so he resorted to tickling him.
“Hey,” Hangeng pouted when Heechul successfully snatched his scarf over. “That’s not playing fair.”
Heechul flicked his hair out of his eye before leaning down to the younger man. Hooking his scarf around the other’s neck, Heechul pulled him close as he looked deep into the warm brown orbs. He smiled his most charming smile-“BECAUSE THIS IS MY SCARF!” He shouted in reply suddenly, earning a jump from Hangeng. Then, giving a soft peck in between the younger’s brows before straightening up, Heechul threw a smirk to the flushing man, “And of course, because I can.”
“Ugh, when can the two of you stop acting like three-year-olds?” Yesung gave an exasperated sigh and rolled his eyes at his hyungs before turning his attention back to the television. A moving figure caught the peripheral of his eyes and he turned to find his dongsaeng standing stiffly at the entryway of the living hall. Something flashed in those eyes and Yesung thought they looked painful. His eyes darted to where the pain glazed eyes are still staring before realisation hit him.
“Donghae,” Yesung called out, breaking the younger man’s trance. He felt his heart tighten when something took over and quickly mask the pained expression on the young man. He gave a soft smile before getting up and walked towards him. Yesung inwardly cursed his two hyungs who were seemingly still in their own bickering world. He hugs an arm around Donghae’s shoulders and guided him forward. “What would you like to do today?” Yesung doesn’t know where to bring Donghae or what to say to him. He just wants to bring him away, away from his pain- though he knew he can’t do this every time it happens.
***
“Ahhh, this is so refreshing!” A group of young men exclaimed as one by one, they jump into the huge lake. It was a huge pool of clear bluish green, one that tempts one’s playful heart-one that tempts one’s desire to abandon whatever on hand and jump right into the coolness, enjoying the chill against their hot skin. It was their vacation and they had decided to take a break at the holiday suite away from the city. It definitely feels good to be able to taste the sweetness in the fresh air and just throw every trouble to the back of their mind for a little while.
“Hannie, come on let’s go for a swim!” Donghae chirped excitedly as he took his shirt off in a single movement. He threw the fabric onto the grass in front of him and waited. The wide smile on his face gradually turned down into a thin line as he was still not getting a response from the elder. “Hannie,” Donghae walked over to tower over the man who had been lying supine on the grass with an arm over his eyes. He squatted down and shook the unmoving man. “Hannie-“
Hearing his name, said person jerked awake before rubbing sleep from his eyes. “Yes Donghae?”
Giving a sweet smile, Donghae repeated. “The summer heat’s unbearable; let’s go join the others for a swim.”
Hangeng groaned. “You go ahead, Hae. I’d rather stay in the shade and catch a nap.” He smiled softly at his pouting boyfriend-ruffling his hair, he gave him a chaste kiss on the lips. “Go have fun.”
“Donghae ah!” Someone caught the man’s wrist. “Let’s see who can swim faster!” Hyukjae gushed as he pulled the smaller man with him. Donghae allowed himself to be pulled along as Hangeng just waved him off in a friendly gesture while smiling after him.
The sinking feeling in his heart… He couldn’t help it as the last thing he saw before turning towards the cool waters, was Heechul approaching Hangeng, and the instant happiness that lit up in his boyfriend’s face when the elder sat down next to him. Donghae plunges into the water with his best friend-dread and disappointment following close after him.
***
“Donghae!”
Hangeng slapped nervously on both of the younger’s cheeks. His own hands were shivering, but it was not from cold. The water in his hair hung at the tips and dropped down onto his face- one of the droplets falling into his eye. He blinked away the momentary blur and decided to shake the unresponsive man when slapping the cheeks didn’t help. “Donghae…“ He shook once, hard. There was no response- so he held two fingers to the other’s neck, checking his pulse. The beat was weak, but present, thankfully present. Hangeng leant down, putting his ear above the other’s mouth-hot air tickled his ear, but the breaths that Donghae exhaled were light and the rise in his chest seemed too shallow. The elder sighed in relief though.
“Is he okay?” The eldest of the group asked with concern lacing on every edge of his tone. The rest of his friends followed in a chorus of the same question, which seemingly successfully stirred the unconscious man.
“Hannie?”
The barely there whisper had the older man snapping his gaze to his boyfriend. “Donghae,” Hangeng shifted so he could cradle the petite cold frame of his boyfriend.
“Bring him back to the suite, geng. Change him and get him warm.” Leeteuk gave an assuring pat on his dongsaeng’s shoulder when the other had already lifted Donghae into his arms. The group stared after the retreating back of their friend before drifting back to reality, and started packing their stuff so that they too could return to the suite.
***
“Hangeng…”
Said person frowned down at the person in his arms as cold fingers caressed weakly over the naked skin of his chest. “Don’t talk, Hae. Let’s get back to the suite and get you warm first.” Hangeng muttered under his breath as he increased his pace when he stalked up the long flight of steps leading to the suite.
Once inside, Hangeng dashed for their bedroom where he toweled his still shivering boyfriend dry. Grabbing a loose shirt and pants from the luggage with the stuff still loaded inside, he proceeded to quickly dress the younger man and in no time at all, Donghae finds himself tucked warmly into the bed with a warm chest meshed right up to his face. Hangeng was stroking his back, his touch was soothing and for the first time since a long time, Donghae felt happy. There was no Heechul to come in between them and he was, finally after so long, relaxed and contented.
His eyelids were drooping heavily. “Hannie,” Donghae started but was stopped by a shushing Hangeng and a tightened hug. “We’ll talk tomorrow. Just go to sleep for now.” The older man gave a firm kiss to the top of his head and Donghae let the soft touches and whispers of love slowly lull him to sleep.
***
Donghae rouses to soft whispers and shuffling of the feet in the opposite room-it was still dark, he noticed. He winced at the sudden chill and realised that the companion sharing his bed was missing. His curiosity got the better of him and so, he got out of the warm confines and tiptoed to the slightly ajar door. There he saw it-Hangeng sitting and bent over Heechul who was lying in bed, and has tears flowing freely down his face. The other man wiped the trailing liquid, slowly leaned down, and pressed a firm kiss to the elder’s forehead. He whispered something which Donghae couldn’t make out, but whatever he said had Heechul smiling and nodding.
Donghae swallowed thickly, his body tensed, and watched on as the elder of the two reach up and hook his arms around Hangeng, bringing him in close for an intimate hug. A few moments passed and the two men broke apart. One last kiss to the slender man’s cheek and Hangeng stood from the bed. Donghae quickly climb back into bed, pull the covers over him and ‘resumes’ sleeping just as his boyfriend entered the room and shut the door lightly with a soft click.
He bit down on his lip as his own tear dam threatened to break free when Hangeng pulled him back into his arms. A hand combed through his hair gently before bringing his head snug against the crook of Hangeng’s neck. A light kiss brushed his temple and Donghae had the urge to brush it off-remembering what just happened a few minutes ago. Hangeng sighed above him and Donghae knew it would be a long time before the other can go back to sleep. He’s thinking about Heechul… and the younger man hates the lump in his throat when he wants to cry but knows he can’t.
***
Hangeng woke up and found his boyfriend already awake. He was sitting on the edge of the bed and their eyes met. “Morning Hannie, rise and shine.” The bright smile that stretched Donghae’s lips had Hangeng getting up immediately and kisses him right on them. “Morning Hae, are you feeling better?” He reaches up a hand and tucks a lock of hair behind the other man’s ear. “Much better, come on.” Donghae stood and pulled both of Hangeng’s wrists. “Grab a quick shower-the rest are waiting for us to start breakfast.”
“Wait for me okay.” Hangeng looked back before entering the bathroom, smiling. He caught a fleeting moment of grimace on the other’s face, but the expression was too fast gone when Donghae grinned back at him. “Okay, I won’t move an inch.”
Hangeng took longer than he normally would and the moment he steps out of the steaming room, something about seeing his boyfriend lying face down, sprawled awkwardly on the floor gives him an uneasy feeling.
“Donghae!”
***
“It’s just probably due to stress. The results are all normal and I see nothing wrong with him. Just make sure he gets plenty of rest and then he’ll be fine.”
“Stress can actually make you faint?”
“Why not, just make sure he gets enough rest and talk to him-find out what’s stressing him so much that caused him to faint.”
Hangeng considered the doctor’s words for a few seconds before thanking him. Stress… and he thought it was probably due of the near drowning incident the day before at the lake. He walks back to the room Donghae was staying in until tomorrow, and plopped down onto the seat next to the bed where his boyfriend lay sleeping soundly. The room was quiet except for the soft snores from the younger man. Hangeng leaned forward and held Donghae gently in one hand.
He smiled and realised it was the first time he’s watching his boyfriend sleep. The corners of his mouth were turned slightly upwards. Even in his deep sleep, the younger man is smiling-like a sunshine that broke through the elder’s heart when nobody could. Hangeng brushed his thumb back and forth on Donghae’s hand, caressing, soothing, touching... What could possibly be troubling this sweet sunshine so much?
***
Hangeng drove Donghae back to the suite the next day since they were still 5 days away before their vacation there ends. Both men were silent as they rode and it was Donghae who broke the silence first.
“What do you think Leeteuk will say when he sees me?”
Hangeng pondered for a while but both men spoke at the same time. “Never go near the waters again!” Widening their eyes at the same thinking, they burst out laughing- eyes crinkling at the corners and white neat sets of teeth greeted each other.
Donghae’s laughter died down to simply just smiling-he sighed and leaned his head back. Turning his head so that he can admire Hangeng’s side view as he drove, the younger man wonders when the last time he laughed this happily with the other man was. His breath caught at the back of the throat when he suddenly realised how beautiful his boyfriend looked. He never thought that man could even come close to being pretty, but right now, with the sunlight penetrating through the windscreen, beating down on the angles of his face-Hangeng reminded him of angels.
“Here we are.”
Hangeng pulled up in front of the suite and from the car, Donghae could already see their friends standing at the steps awaiting their arrival.
“Donghae!” Ryeowook ran up to him and wrapped his arms around said person. “How are you feeling?” He gushed as he attempted to run his hands all over Donghae in an instinctive check for any injuries. The other man giggled at his anxiousness. “I’m great, never been better!” He hooked an arm around Ryeowook’s neck and ushered them towards the suite, greeting his other anxious friends.
***
Hangeng leaned a shoulder against the door with his arms crossed, and looked on as Donghae busily dug into his luggage searching for who-knows-what. “Need help?” The younger man jumped in surprise at the sudden intrusion. “Hannie, you scared me.” The elder chuckled and approached his boyfriend. “So what are you looking for?”
“My favourite set of pajama.” Donghae pouts and says at the same time-a slight frown decorated his annoyed expression. “I think I forgot them.” A huff of frustration escaped the younger man and Hangeng can only do little to resist pulling the man into his arms and whispers into his ear. “I don’t know about you, but I like it more when you do without them.”
“Hangeng,” Donghae nudges his smirking boyfriend and lowered his head-feeling the heat creep up his neck and spread to his cheeks.
The elder smiled at the response and reached for Donghae’s hand, intertwining with his. “Come, let’s go somewhere.”
Donghae hesitated for a moment- widening his eyes, “Where?”
“Just follow me.”
***
“Leeteuk warned me to stay away from the lake, Hannie.”
Both men sat back to back near the edge of the lake. Hangeng flipped a stone and aimed it towards the water. After a few seconds of calculations, the stone left his hand and skipped four times across before disappearing into the water. “Well, there’re no other places where we can have time to ourselves.” Hangeng turned backwards to look at the younger man, giving a smile in which was returned by Donghae’s brighter one.
Hangeng worried his lower lip as he looks at the other. Those eyes that always seems to say so much more drew him in, locking their invisible arms around him, pulling him forward- until their foreheads met. Donghae had his eyes shut as they just breathed. No words were spoken, no glances were exchanged-just the connection of the skin and talking of the hearts as they beat together, rhythmically.
Then Hangeng suddenly whispered, his breath caressing Donghae’s lips. “You know I love you right?”
Donghae shuts his eyes even more tightly at the question-pain and disappointment coming back to him. Hangeng loves him… right? He’s not sure of that himself and neither does he have the courage to face the truth.
“Donghae?”
Hangeng frowned at the lack of response and drew back, cupping the delicate face in both his palms. The younger man opened his eyes and Hangeng worried for a moment when he saw Donghae’s chin wobble- and those eyes that stared into his were sad.
“You know I love you right?” He repeated again.
Donghae choked on the emotion so thick in his throat but he bravely held them in check. Something lifted in him and he felt lighter, making him easier to breathe. What made all those uncertainties disperse like fog wasn’t so much on the sincerity in the other’s voice-it was the love that’s shining so brightly and without reservations in those brown chocolate orbs. Those eyes were pleading, begging for his trust, yet assuring and pledging his love all at the same time.
The younger man smiled and a tear escaped from his right eye before the next drop, and the next until he was crying and Hangeng was wiping his tears-his face flustered, afraid that he might have said something wrong.
“I know, and I love you too.” Donghae hugged his boyfriend tightly and drew back to kiss him. Warm lips met cool quivering ones and their bodies slowly heat up even in the chilly wind as the passion in the kiss soared.
Donghae finally understood at that moment, that the relationship between Heechul and Hangeng was more than what it seems, but definitely not the way Donghae had adamantly thought. He felt foolish for thinking and believing that love exists only between lovers when he loved Hyukjae exactly the same way Hangeng loved Heechul. He had to resist the urge to smack himself on the head for that.
The rest of the night was spent with both men laid snuggling close together on the open grass around the lake. Donghae had his head cushioned on top of Hangeng’s chest as the other rubbed soothing circles on his back. The beating rhythm of his boyfriend’s heart slowly and gradually drew him into the languid arms of sleep-and the last thing he did before slipping into the other mystical realm, was smiling-a smile he knows is finally real.
The best thing is listening to someone’s heartbeat and knows it’s beating like that because of you.
END--
**Just wanna let you know that no matter what, I'll be there :)**
P.S. Spread the HanHae love and join the HanHae stans at the Dancer's Haeven~~ ^^