(Un)Necissarily Long fangirling over Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince (SPOILERY!!!)

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SPOILER SPACE!
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There, here we go :)

Welcome, welcome, welcome to Kris and Redd's Very Long and Random Rants of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (yes, this all needed caps. You'll see later on why ^_^)

Alrighty-righty, let's begin with...

Sirius' Will.

Harking back to a scene in OotP, we notice a very interesting scene with Molly and her boggart. By interesting, we mean Harry toasty dead on the floor. After her hysteria fit, Lupin, Sirius and Moody all come to see what's going on. Lupin's the only one actually trying to help Molly as Sirius is kind of transfixed on the floor where Boggart!Harry is no longer twitching. This is where we got the idea that Sirius decided to make his Will--just in case. The Will was carefully worded so that everything went to Harry and NOT Bella.

Go Padfoot for thinking ahead! Woot!

Oh, and, just so you know, I am sadly still in "Sirius Denial". While I admit the hope has dimmed somewhat for the return of my favorite frolicking puppy, I still remain hopeful for one in Book 7. Yes, It's hard for me to give up hope on seemingly lost causes...

Lupin/Greyback.

Ok, Redd talking here on this subject. I SO couldn't be Moony right then. Cause I mean, think about it. He's having to work with the maniacal werewolf that PURPOSEFULLY bit him as a child!!! He's telling Harry this all like it was no big deal. He's dealt with the past incident and moved on. Heh, I so couldn't do that, sorry Moony. There's just something entirely wrong with this situation he is in, but he's in it none-the-less to help do his part. But, this just goes to prove Kris' and my theory about Remus: He's hardcore, yo!

Lupin/Tonks

What. The. Fuck?!?!?!  We just don't get it. Honestly. It's not the character pairing, really, but the fact it didn't just come out of left feild, but from the right field, and definitely center field as well! COMPLETELY blindsided on that one. There was no signs in OotP, in our opinon, and nothing really to show for it in HBP, either. First off--they were there for Bill's attack, NOT a dating service. Remus is a very isolated person and such a public display mortified him and made him "go turtle" (Kris' words, not mine hehe). To me, personally as a Remus fan, I was highly disturbed. Kris saw my tears and actually had to take my book and read to me the rest of the book! ;_;  My poor Moony....

Oh, and if you guys are thinking this stems from my S/R shipping, you're wrong. I don't like this pairing for the reason that it came out of no where to me and struck me as being a cop-out for getting two people who've nothing in common together. This is my personal opinion of the matter and I am NOT (Capslock!) berating it because Tonks isn't Sirius! Yes I ship Sirius/Remus, but if there was some relationship developing with another character for either of them, I wouldn't mind if IT MADE SENSE!(Capslock!) This, like I stated before, just came out of nowhere for me.

Voldemort--Springer Style

In the words of the great Nutters mod I must say "Jerry Jerry Jerry!!"  Really we all know he had a HIGHLY disturbed childhood but...DAMN!  I seriously felt sorry for his mother and had a really insane moment where when they were calling her a mudblood...I thought of McKinnon.  But that is me.  He was really lucky to be stuck in that orphanige.  He is so born corrupted though.  Meaness can run in the blood.  I was also Highly interested in the obsession that Voldemort has with Hogwarts "the only place he ever felt was home" (Quotation fig-ners!)  I liked the bit about Voldy-poo having followers even back in his school days.  It set up some of the older members defining their ages, setting them apart from the younger crowd.  AND DUDE!  He never bloody showed up in this book!  Prisoner of Azkaban much?  All we get of the prodominant antagonist is memories.  Which brings us too a point....

THE DADA CURSE!!!!! (Capslock!)

Well well well do we have a pattern here or what?  We learn that the spot truly is cursed, by who?  Well good ole Heir of Slytherin himself (thanks Voldy).  We have a consistant (if you ask me) strain of professors.  First to enter the ring is oh who is it that bald turban wearing freak Quirrell.  Who as we all know had a great big honking secret talking to him on the back of his head.  Then we have our self absorbed nitwit (one of Bumblebee's favorite words) Mr. Goldelocks himself Gilderoy Lockhart.  Ah year three our dear dear Moony a.k.a R. J. Lupin joins the rank of professors (A mighty Woot Woot!)  What can dear sweet Remus add to this algebra problem from hell....well he is a good guy that has a dark reputation ;___; (Arwooooo! Button it Redd!) On ward!  We have the Moody Imposter! (Oops hope you read that one ^_-) He is just that.  I must say though sadly enough...they learned some important and valuable lessons from Mr. Crouch Jr.  It is even from this fucked up space monkey that Harry gets his want to be an Auror.  Talk about helping the other team.  Moving right along...foot loose and fancy free....oops sorry wrong movie.  Next we have Umbridge.  What a worthless bint she was.  She made our fearless, messy haired hero scared...again!  Does he have a bet with Lupin on scar accumilation? (That is not funny!)  Anyway (YOU FORGOT YOUR COMMA![caplocks!]) we get to our big honking Mr. Misunderstood.  My Fav Severus Snape!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY BRIX!(Caplocks!)  Once again we got thrown a curve ball here...our ever fiening for it Snape finally gets the gold.  Did he break the curse?  NO!  Blimey bastard!  Stay tuned cause that greasy git of every fangirl's dreams gets his own entry!  So what does all this mean?  There is a PATTERN! (caplocks!)

• Book 1 Quirrell:  The Evil Imposter


• Book 2 Lockhart: The Idiot who taught nothing.


• Book 3 Lupin (YAY): The Misunderstood Good Guy


• Book 4 Crouch/Moody: The Evil Imposter (Damn spoiler again oh drat)


• Book 5 Umbridge: The Bitch who taught nothing.


• Book 6 Snapems(oops) Snape: Misunderstood Good Guy? (stay tuned, yo!)

Mr. Prime Minister Man.

Dude, this was freakin' awesome. (And very needed!) The connection between the Muggle world and the Wizarding world isn't as separate as we were lead to believe after all--and it makes a helluva lot of sense if you ask me. Cause you simply CAN'T (Capslock!) have two separate worlds living on the same planet. Wizards know of Muggles and some Muggles know of Wizards. (It's like overlaying animation over real film--same space, different type of thing.) And dude. Fudge got sacked! :)

Dobby and Kreacher and Draco...Oh My!

While Malfoy's the main target of Harry's suspicion from the start...for once, he hit the nail on the head! (Way to be a hammer, Harry!) No red herring this time...we have the real deal from the train ride to school! Woot! Of course, I spent most of the book going "Ok, so it's obviously NOT (Capslock!) Draco. Who the smeck is it?" and, of course, I was wrong. (You'll never hear me say those words again, mind you.) ONWARD! (Capslock!) So, did anyone else miss the thing Kris did that Harry hadn't resinded his orders to Kreacher and Dobby? (SKANK! [Capslock!] I forgot!) Dobby and Kreacher still have to follow Draco around and report back to Harry (or Ron or Hermione) what he's up too. Which, means that if Draco survives his failure with Voldie-Smoldie (That made the baby Jesus cry, Kris...), Harry and Co. will possibly have insider info on some small stuff and possibly locations! Woot!!

Lily and Potions and Slugs (work those charms, girl!)

So Lily was good at Potions? Heh, I can see it. Potions is meticulous like Charmwork, so it makes sense. What weirds me out is that Sluggy was fanboying her at least twenty times each chapter. More or less. And when Harry followed the "Prince's" instructions, Sluggy always commented on how he had inherited his sense for improvisation from Lily. This forms a possible connection between Snape and Lily....but we'll get to that all in due time. Stay tuned! As for the Slug Club in general, it's all about gaining connections for Sluggy. He's the man who knows the people in the right places...so of course each side wants him! Question remains, will he remain at Hogwarts next year (if there is a next school year) since he was made Head of Slytherin. Again.

R. A. B. (we're not talking about a Rabbi)

Ok...everyone and their deaf and blind senile old grandmother knows, or thinks they know who this is. "The Mysterious R. A. B."  HI (Caplocks) Regulus!  I mean really JK can't make everything mind bleedingly mysterious.  But...this brings up an interesting question.  Is Mr. Black really dead?(YAY Sirius Returns! No, Redd, wrong Black.  Aww...damn.)  If we can all remember the scene with Dumbledore and Draco, Dumbledore's scene of We can help you!

"Come to the right side Draco and we can hide you more completely than you can possibly imagine.  What is more I can send members of the Order to your mother tonight to hide her likewise.  Nobody would be surprised that you had died in you attempt to kill me."

Ok with that said (Thanks Bumblebee) Can we assume that the same offer was made to Regulus oh so long ago?  Is the Noble House of Black still in business?  Could be interesting that Harry all of a sudden wants to visit Godric's Hollow.  How interesting!  Could R.A.B. be hidden in the happy hollow that Harry once called home? (Alliteration YAY! [Caplocks!])  Hopefull book 7 will tell us.

Ok pressing onward since we are on the topic of the stealer of one of the Horcruxes.  Where are they and does Regsie have more?  I wonder if Kreacher has it in his Magpie collection?  Did Dung steal and sale it?  Or does R. A. B. still hold it in his oh not so dead hands? (Ok I am rooting for the underdog not being toast ok)

So what are the other Horcruxes?  We have the Locket, The Diary (destroyed), The Ring (destroyed), The Cup?, The ??? of Ravenclaw's?, or the ??? of Gryffindor's.  A going standard thought is Harry could be a horcrux.  I think if that happened it was by complete accident.  Though the fact that destroying Tom's diary didn't hurt Harry in the slightest drums up an interesting prospect.  Cause it sure did fuck up Dumbledore to destroy the ring.

So...ok the all over rant I do believe is at a close....so...STAY TUNED FOR AN ALL SNAPE SPECIAL!!!!!!!(Caplocks)



Non-spoilery space....

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Spoilery Space!

Oh. My. God.... Where the hell to begin?!

Let's start with that ol' basic human need for TRUST (Capslock!) See, we have this insane crack-pot theory going on with Ol' Snapey-poo (don't hit us Brix). It's all down to the fact of only Snape and Dumbledore know what it was that caused Dumbledore to completely and intrinsically trust Snape. Of course, having the main character witness one apparently murder the other doesn't boast well on the whole "trust" issue. But, if you get out your microscopes and turn it to max power, you can see that there MIGHT (Capslock!) be something going on underneath (Like JK would ever do that to us...hehehe). We present to you, the unbelieving crowd, that while Nice does not always mean Good, Good, equally, does not have to be Nice. Our case:

• TRUST. In case some missed the Capslock, here it is again. TRUST! Dumbledore has stated MANY (Capslock) times in each book that he trusts Snape irrifutiably. Everyone has always taken his word on that, even if they questioned it many times. With Harry's account of Dumbledore's death, everyone is now all "Evil Bastard! We trusted Dumbledore to be trusting you!" and generally getting all bent out of shape over his supposed betrayal. So how many times does someone have to say they trust someone else before anyone will get it through their thick skulls? Obviously, not enough times for Harry and Co. While on this trust issue, anyone recognize the same thing between Harry and Snape in this issue? Harry refuses to tell even other Order members what mission they were on that night because Dumbledore told him not too. The case is the same with Snape, I am positive. Harry wouldn't even tell Minerva about Dumbledore's and his activities that night, and she's someone he believes to be trustworthy. Why? Because it was a simple matter of Following Dumbledore's Orders! Who's to say Snape isn't doing the same thing? I seem to recall Hagrid telling Harry about a heated arguement between Dumbledore and Snape... And, as much as anyone knows Albus Dumbledore, the man does not beg. He was BEGGING (Capslock!) Snape in the end... That means something in itself.
  



• Treatment of Harry over the past six years. Anyone else find it interesting that Snape's been a constant bully to Harry? Kind of petty if it's all payback for his dead father, don't you think? And, as I know, Snape's not about the petty. Well, most of the time hehe. Anyways, Kris and I have another IWT (Insane Wacko Theory) about that. Dumbledore never believed Voldie to have been dead--so what if he and Severus had concocted a plan about the eventuality of Voldie's return to power? I mean, everytime Harry almost begins to think of Snape in any other light than a bully, Snape cuts him down or ruins his plans and makes Harry hate him even more. Cause if Harry thinks Snape's evil, then it makes it all the more convincing to Voldie and the DE that he is Teh Ebil! Of course, this could backfire on him now that Harry's all about gunning (figuratively, of course) Voldie down and even more the better if Snape gets in the way.
  



• IWT on Old Grudges. Snape seems to have a plethora of these, huh? Let's start with the most obvious and pick on poor Remus. It's not everyday you actually have a Werewolf thinking you're the next Happy Meal (*laughs at the irony*). Since Remus nearly ate him (bad, all of you, bad!), Snape has had a reason to loathe Remus. Though, he kept his secret in their school days (methinks because of Dumbledore) and for the majority of the time they worked as collegues, he made it very apparent that he was trying to get people to notice Lupin's lycanthropy in small ways. Next we will take the next most obvious, Sirius. Honestly, we see this as a mutual hatred and loathing on both ends, so we'll just let this one loose on the grounds Sirius was a moron who told Snape about the Whomping Willow. Next, we come to James... And we're in agreement that he's the sole benefactor of the Hate Club for Men. We don't know much about James, yes, but what we see glimpses of is that he was an ass that simply "got bored" and Sirius would try and alieviate said boredome by bothering Snape. Now...there might be a solid reason for James hating Snape. Let's get to that one, shall we?
  



• IWT on Lily Evans. DON'T RUN AWAY! Seriously, think about it this way... Ok. Lily Evans was highly praised by Sluggy and was in the Slug Club, as was Snape. Both Snape and Lily had a knack at potions (and, as we know, what better way to ingratiate yourself upon Snape than being good at something he loves?) So, what if Snape had a crush on Ms. Lily Evans? Aww... Well, that would naturally piss off an already overly obsessed James Potter. They are already enemies... Throw a pretty girl into the mix and viola! Instant Disaster. James and Sirius constantly torment Snape (one thing we do know is that, in "Snape's Worst Memory" was that he was highly embarrassed in front of Lily and Lily came to his aide, but he was all flustered and agitated that he reacted how he normally would and slipped the "M" word. Was calling Lily a mudblood the worst part of it for him or was it the actual prank? Hmm...) So, anyway, James gets the girl in the end and Snape, being all GRR! and ANGST! and IHATEJAMESPOTTER! (all Capslock), Angry!Snape overhears the prophecy told to Dumbledore. Ooohhh.... Now he has a bit o' information that might garner him some chance at Lily. Remember, Voldie killed off James easily when he chose Harry, but he actually told Lily to just step out of the way. Odd for him to want to bargain with a MUDBLOOD (Capslock!) for the life of a baby. Could Snape have tried to strike a deal with him? With James gone, Lily would be free.   So yeah...he could be thinking he is reason numero uno for dear sweet Lily being toast.
  



• IWT When Slytherins collide!  Alright we have some other influental relationships for Snape.  Case in point the out right almost jealosy that Bella throws at him in Chapter 2 Spinners End.  Ooooh Green eyed monster has popped up.  It is obvious that through the time between the end of book 5 and the begining of book 6 a shift of boot licking power has changed.  Bella seems to have obviously lost favor and Snaped gained it.  Won't Bella be livid to hear that Snape accomplished something not even Voldemort could pull off?  We then move to the youngest Black sister Mrs. Narcissa Malfoy.  This is a woman clearly broken!  Why?  Well we think it is due to her own fucking fault!  She probably, to gain lost favor due to her husband being a prat, hoisted up Draco to fix the mess.  In the end getting Draco's head on a stump and MacNair with an ax hovering over him.  So how does Cissy *cringes* want to fix this?  SUPER SNAPE! (Caplocks)  With a nice little Unbreakable Vow forged to aid Draco.  Oh bloody hell, no way that can come to any good.  This brings us to, oddly enough, our main protagonist Draco Malfoy himself.  Well we can see throughout the book that Draco is terrified of having his glory stolen by Snape.  He was just wanting to help him not get killed.  PRAT! (Caplocks)  And there we have it with the death of Bumblebee that Draco owes the Prince a good deal.  There are also rats in his house on Spinners End.  One by the name of Wormtail for instance.  It makes me wonder why his name his true name was never used.  Has Peter been lost?  Is all that left is twitchy?  Why the hell was he staying with Snape?  There was watching going on....but who was really doing it? Dum Dum DUUUUUUUUM! (Caplocks)
  



• IWT  Halfblood he be!  Ok...wow.  We saw a glimpse of an abusive home life with the shield spell of Harry's.  Poor Snape....Poor Snape even more that his daddy that was beating him and Mum was a blood muggle!  Question?  Could His mum even defend herself with magic?  Would it of been against the law even in self defense since it was agaist a muggle?  Hmmm we may never know.  I hope we will though.  Where are his parents now?  Is mommy stil alive and kicking?  I can safely say Pops is dead.  What better initiation or further more a moment of rash anger.  We have all seen Snape's temper once it is unleashed.  Not fun...not fun at all.  Oh Snape being the Halfblood Prince was....intriguing.  So many similarities pop up between Voldemort and Snape now.  Both loners, both with few to no friends, both had mothers they most likely viewed as weak and tainted, both had nasty muggle fathers, and that love for the Dark Arts sure is a clue in aye?
  



• IWT Snape is Dumbledore's man/He would never steer me wrong! OH how Ironic!  Here we have one big honking ball of fun.  Snape is most assuredly Dumbledore's man right alongside Harry.  How we think this well lend an ear yo.  We have the complete trust.  We also have I do believe the willingness of Snape to kill Dumbledore for the cause.  The arguement that Hagrid overheard is, by our thoughts, the moment where Dumbledore was forcing Snape to  agree if the moment came when his death was at his hands he would do what needed to be done.  Just like Harry "Yes Sir this will make it all stop"  Harry himself could of killed Dumbledore with that crazy potion.  He did do as told though now didn't he?  So after the heartwrenching demise of our dear Bumblebee Harry runs off to confront his killer.  Snape did not want to bother with Harry.  He did not want to hurt Harry but Harry as we know is a bit....dumb at times.  He pushed THE Button.  Cause apparently you shouldn't call Severus Snape a coward.  So we are introduced to Capslock Snape! (thus where and why we have all the... yeah you get it right?)  Harry pushed so close to making Snape snap.  I think Voldie would of understood any of his loyal hexing the hell out of Potter there but Snape...didn't.  He yelled and repelled his spells, litteraly, but did not attack.  The only thing Snape did was at the last possible moment of escape sling Harry back.  Few others would of been so kind.
  



• IWT Now we are being silly.  But...for your horrific enjoyment what if poor Lily's body is a horcrux? ;_________________;  Or better yet what if that ellusive Patronus that JK says is so important is indeed Lily Evans?  Could you just see a silvery spectral Lily charging from Snape's wand charging down Dementors? hehehe... Just a weird thought in the hours of sleep deprived fangirlly giggliness

Redd, has since writing this with Kris, has slept. Thank you all and good night :)