things not to say at your girlfriend's family dinner

[summertrain]

1) "Honestly, is this the face of a man that would take advantage of your ravishingly beautiful daughter?"
2) "Your daughter is in good hands, sir. Have you noticed how large mine are? Trust me. She is in really good hands

Comments

[shelikespie]

6) Wow, even baby Becky's a hottie! You guys keep popping them out and I'll keep whipping it out!

****
1) Neither of us got phonecalls from you . . . BUT FUCKING SCORE! Did the answering machine sound like him? We're going to take pictures in front of said house.

[summertrain]

I tried calling you, but my name probably didn't show up because I still had my phone on "hidden" from calling Curtis' house. The voice on the answering machine was one of a woman. I think you should take pictures in front of that house anyway. Better safe than sorry.

[mantekillazmeg]

YES!! Lets go take pictures of his house and make slides haha

[bananip]

7) "Fuck America!"
8) "Don't worry, we haven't had sex yet, I'm still waiting for things to 'clear up'"

[jazzyjellybean]

I'm at work and I just laughed really hard at that last one. Hahaha that's awesome.

[stringybendy]

"one of my life goals is to fuck america"

[stringybendy]

well, it's not, but that would be cool to say

[stringybendy]

9) "I'm happy to let you know that your daughter has a deep vagina"
10)"I work in a porn shop, so I can get lube by the gallon"
11) "I can see where your daughter gets her hot ass"
12) "your daughter gets really crazy when I get her drunk"

ok, that's all I could think of

[summertrain]

I like numbers 9 and 12. Man, I hope I use one of these lines someday.

[stringybendy]

haha, sweet man. I hope that works out well for you