Comments | sunbreaksdown: black★rock shooter; when you seem to be forgetting

sunbreaksdown

black★rock shooter; when you seem to be forgetting

Jul 27, 2010 18:18

TITLE: When You Seem to be Forgetting
CHARACTERS: Kuroi Mato/Takanashi Yomi
RATING: PG
WORD COUNT: 4,700
SUMMARY: Mato wakes up on Friday morning in a daze, mind clouded over with memories that aren't her own, eyes deceiving her.
NOTES: Post-OVA.

( It's like this is something Mato's been told about time and time again, a story that she's always wanted to be part of, and now here she is, taking the lead role while improvising all of her lines. )

character: kuroi mato, canon: black★rock shooter, pairing: kuroi mato/takanashi yomi, character: takanashi yomi

Comments 9

hihowyou July 28 2010, 06:32:47 UTC

Yay! My favorite FFXIII writer writing Black Rock Shooter? You just made my day.

Wonderful fic as always. The texting and the kissing and the drifting off to sleep at the end had me grinning like Mato. :} And the image of Yomi with her scarf and smile is just too pretty. (I'm totally going to hunt for fanart after this.) *sigh* You have such a way with the mood and atmosphere.

One thing, though, is that this line: "After all, I've been in love with you since you first let me copy your homework," seems a bit off. I can't quite place it. :/ It just really jumped out to me/disrupted the flow when I first read it. A bit clunky, perhaps?

Anyway, sorry for long comment. Thank you for the fic. :) (Hope you don't mind me friending you?)

sunbreaksdown July 28 2010, 17:39:25 UTC

Thank you very much! I'm glad you liked it. (And that people are looking for BRS fic already!)

As for that one line, hm-the point of it was to break the whole mood, really. You know Mato, I don't see her going more than a few minutes without her saying something dumb and out of place. Maybe I should try reworking it, though.

♥ And no problem, I love long comments. It's much appreciated! I'll go friend you back now.

xejin July 28 2010, 19:46:33 UTC

Yay~ BRS Fanfiction!
Really liked it - and it's so long~

Surfed the web like crazy to get anything remotely Yomi/Mato (or as I ship it as BRS x DM) it's really awesome to find something after all~

sunbreaksdown July 28 2010, 19:49:23 UTC

Thank you very much! Glad you liked it, and I expect I'll be writing some BRS/DM next.

red_savant July 29 2010, 08:21:20 UTC

Ah, so much win. I love your turns of phrase, especially the way you characterize Mato -- it just fits so well. I'm glad the first piece of BRS fic I read managed to capture the tone, the characters, and especially the romantic tension so well.

I'd love to see more from you. =)

sunbreaksdown July 30 2010, 18:14:04 UTC

Thanks very much! I hope to have something new out soon.

wingstodust July 31 2010, 22:15:12 UTC

*___________* I love you, I hope you know that. BRS fanfic AND kissing omg so happy ahhhhhhhhhhhh <3333333333333

sunbreaksdown July 31 2010, 22:16:49 UTC

Eeee, thanks so much! /o/ (And how can there not be kissing, with a canon like that?)

dithyrambos August 16 2010, 05:13:08 UTC

YAY BRS FIC!!!! I loved the OVA and the characters and and and I'm just so happy I'm not the only one who wants fiction.

I think you captured the characters very well.