Final Arc for Don Draper Meta: Part I

[sunclouds33]

I wrote VERRRRRY meandering meta on Don's final arc on Mad Men. I think I've been working on it long enough and it's time to post. I wanted to put in one post- but it was too long by LJ rules. Bear in mind, the Part II. There's a link at the bottom of this first installment.

Beware for Pollyanna- readings of Don's last arc as well, even I like to think realism is always in my meta. (Feels head to confirm it's still hard.)

I was almost surprised at how Don's overall trajectory did justice to the Mystery of the Credits. Throughout the series, I was often most fascinated by how the Falling Don in the credits lands on a comfortable couch at the end. Throughout S1, it was evident that Don would do the falling in the credits. Really, from the end of Smoke Gets in Your Eyes, did anyone doubt that Don would have a long-term devolution from the number of ways that the 1960s challenged old power structures? Or even more, the number of the ways that Don jeopardized and played fast and loose with his life in every aspect from financial to relationships to health?

The falling was always evident, even though it was suspenseful to see *how* he'd fall and to what extent. My big question through the series was how Don ended up on the couch. I debated with myself whether it meant that he ended up in a peaceful, better place i.e. relaxing on a couch instead of in an office with the floor about to give out. Or whether it meant that the fall took everything from him and he was merely zoned out on the couch, immobile and spent, just an actual or metaphorical corpse. Usually, people in skyscrapers whose walls and floor give out who then, fall dramatically down a NY city skyline to haunting music end up a splotch on the ground. Not peacefully sitting on a couch, looking quite comfortable.

For me, Don's arc manages to mirror the credits in a way that I find nothing short of masterful. The credits include Don falling- and then, him at peace. However more than that, the arc balanced the beguiling and mysterious ambiguity of the credits of not being sure exactly how Don ended up. However despite the ambiguity, the series satisfied the fact that audience members may love stylish metaphors in their credits but they expect a little more realistic plot in their real-time TV.

However, in this respect, the series had to honor the interesting thing about both credits. The credits are memorably haunting because Don falls through most of the credits but they're mysterious and upend expectations right away because it looks like he could end up OK even after huge danger. In this respect, Don's arc embodied what made it interesting through the end. Right up until the end, it's a mystery on how much more Don will fall and endanger himself and abandon others. I mean, especially at the end when he's suicidal and giving out his car and confessing dangerous secrets to cannibalistic Oakie from Muscogee veterans.

The series honors the intrigue of the falling. However, it also honors the intriguing process of how he turned a fall into a peaceful position on a couch. Don didn't just land in a peaceful spot as a surprise to everyone. IMO, Don earned a more peaceful position after the fall- but the $64,000 question is "What extent and quality of peace did Don earn?" which I guess could range from, "He totally managed to clean up his whole life. After the credits go dark, there's a fairy tale ending" to "Well, I guess even violent criminals in prison have gotten some yoga classes."

To a great extent, I wouldn't trust most literal-minded complete finale that firmly stated what Don's life would be from then on. I wouldn't trust some sappy finale where Don hitched rides and ran across the country to unite with his kids with the implication that Don is going to be an ideal 1970s sitcom Single Dad. I'd be waiting for the bottom to fall out when the curtain drops and Don obsesses over a woman or something triggers him and he decides to go into an alcoholic/self pity spiral. I also wouldn't trust some finale where Don just decided to move west and be a hippie or a grease monkey called Dick Whitman. I'd be querying what was the point of early S7 and Don deciding that he needed advertising and he'd work his way up at his own company to keep doing what he loves or the point of Don constantly calling his kids from the road, if he disappeared into his 0-23 years old identity in the last ep. I actually never really read Don as suicidal because there's a distinction between pursuing hedonism to drown out suffering to the point of self-destruction and actually wanting to kill yourself.

There's been a series-long story about Don's efforts to achieve The Good Life, with its successes and failures. Then, there's been a little over a season story about Don gaining some increased clarity about what it means and what's required to really have a Good Life as opposed to slick cover art, but with enough selfish backsliding or fool-hardy choices in pursuit of a genuinely romantic or compassionate end to continue the scary falling right through the end of Person to Person.

Like my interpretation of Roger Sterling's arc, in a some obvious ways, Don's Attaboy! high point was the first half of S7 instead of the second half of S7. The first half of S7 gave Don really hateable antagonists in Cutler and Lou, without S1 Pete's lovable quirkiness or S2 Duck's sympathetic sadness stemming from the divorce and alcoholism that threatens all Mad Men or S3 Lane's pretty immediate likability and ability to be co-opted. On one hand, it was very difficult for Don to swallow his pride and act like a junior copywriter and adhere to all of the workplace rules that he enjoyed breaking since S1. It was difficult to give Peggy the Burger Chef limelight to aggrandize her career instead of enjoying a real final moment in the spotlight to make him even more marketable to other Madison Avenue agencies.

However, on the other hand, Don's first-half-of-S7 arc narratively and psychologically assisted Don to give him a clear problem in his life to fix. With huge stakes and challenges enough to activate his ambition, yet within his area of expertise enough to be his wheelhouse. With odious antagonists to defeat and chances to forge connections based on The Work.

Waterloo ends on an extremely high note for Don. His shares and job were preserved- but without rancor or resentment from anyone. He had his cake and ate it- his career remained excellent and Peggy had a significant leg-up/resume line in successfully pitching Burger Chef. He ensured that his first sacrifice of letting Ted go to California wasn't just another nail in Ted's suicidal coffin- but instead he convinced Ted to go to McCann to the (as of Waterloo and arguably through Person to Person) benefit of all.

Don's marriage to Megan appeared to end gracefully, with him able to make the benevolent offer to take care of Megan financially but with Megan tearfully saying that he owes her nothing. He had an ace long-distance parenting moment with Sally that not only affected her opinion on the moon-landing, but immediately became good life advice. With all of those warm and fuzzies, he naturally erased the "cold, hard captain of the industry type" (TM Tony Soprano) aspect of Bert Cooper's personality and Bert Cooper's steady disappointment in Don from regarding him in S1 as "John Galt in the flesh" to S7 "Don's a pain in the ass- but he's on my team" apathy. Don colored Bert in a song and dance number with a hyper-version of Cooper's cute quirkiness and early instincts to mentor Don/carry him like Sacagawea's baby.

However, S7.5 beginning with "Is that all there is?" threw all of that into perspective. The world has Cutlers and Lous- but they're not everywhere and they certainly don't go after Master of the Universe Don on a regular basis. That was a special circumstance. Ex wives who were inclined to end things gracefully on the first "we should divorce" phone call change their mind and become more bitter when the bills start coming in. You can't just walk away with millions after selling your business- and assume that didn't come with any loss of autonomy or ownership.

Sally appreciated Don's point about the danger of chattering impersonal cynicism for cynicism's sake on a serious phone call between the two of them; that's all the more reason why Sally rolled her eyes at his pandery impersonal 'Hallmark parenting for the benefit of your friends" bullshit of "Write your future career plans down so you don't forget". (True story, I've rolled my eyes at that exact comment, as a child much like Sally Draper. MY GIRL! And it's particularly silly coming from Don "Don't act like you had a plan. You're Tarzan swinging from vine to vine" Motherfucking Draper.)

Peggy may have been in the mood to discuss the meaning of life, after-hours on a circuitous route to find the Burger Chef strategy. Other times, Peggy was fishing for praise, validation, and a positive performance review and has no interest in turning that into a project-y "Is that all there is?" discussion that mirrors Don's depression. Just because Don gave well-intentioned advice and clemency for indiscretion to a beta-male underling, doesn't mean that it'll succeed or be appreciated. Don can make a choice and be quite gracious and nice to Joan even though she tried professionally and financially destroying him, but he's not going to be rewarded with some big cinematic hug or Joan agreeing to come to him for help with her problems at McCann.

I would argue that from Severance through Lost Horizon, Don's pattern is to just *accept* these disappointments with more grace than usual (on the growth side) but also barrel through mistakes despite clear warnings when he should STAHP (NO growth side). Fight Megan on the divorce settlement because Don is in the habit of fighting over money- but then, pay her a $1 million. Even though Sally was giving clear warning signs that she was getting annoyed at Don's phoniness with her friends, start oozing on Sally's friend- but then, figure out a way to send Sally off with some encouragement and a halfway nice moment even though she just insulted him. Linger and pout a little that he has to prematurely leave Bobby and Gene because his visit is over and Betty and Henry arrived as the actual custodial parents- but do it without drama. Try to finagle a California office to avoid getting absorbed into McCann even though they're already bought and paid for- but then, "Stop struggling. You've won" and report to McCann when instructed.

However, while Don is more "correct" or "mild-mannered" or whatever in Severance up to his Great Escape, there's a depressing, impermanence to it. In Don's head, he has little to affirmatively *do*. He's a corporate housecat, very important with little to do. His business isn't his anymore, his favorite child is in boarding school and his sons live away, he doesn't have a wife or girlfriend. He was both scared straight from S6 and internalized that he can't and doesn't want to take out his angst by throwing temper tantrums and he should confine any benders to the evening hours and in a conflict, he ought to presume that anyone who has a problem with him probably has a fucking point based on history.

IMO, Don does know that most of this is his fault but still, that doesn't stop his dissatisfaction and longing to do something extreme to get out of Doldrom Prison. On a scale of fuck-ups from 0 to Don Draper, I'm MUCH closer to zero. (Yay me- sarcasm.)However, I've had moments where I know that I was the one who offended my friends/SO and I'm stewing over being left out and alone and I know that I've screwed up enough that I can't screw up again but I long to just take my fun back.

However, then, Don took MANY steps back by running away to Diana without telling anyone like a total drama queen. Interestingly, Don's whole run-away is very tied in with Don's relationship with Peggy. "No Creative Director wants to be one of a hundred in a box." "Go! Run to her, like the movies! You don't have to be here."....I could just be amusing myself....

However, at the same time, I argue that Great Escape actually was the thing that *saved* Don and provided some expectations of permanence to his S7 growth arc in a number of ways. The first way is that this road trip impressed on Don that he cannot just assume another identity at this stage of his life and it would be (I would argue) far more of a fraud for him to live as Dick Whitman now than when he decided to live as Don Draper when he was in his twenties. I didn't read a lot of reviews and essays on MM before it ended. However, the little that I did read always had the stench that Don has some obligation to become Dick Whitman again or becoming Dick Whitman is the morally just punishment for him or some divide where Don Draper is the swaggering asshole and Dick Whitman is the darling sensitive woobie. In all seriousness, this nonsense has kind of put me off MM reviews written by "professionals".

I've always resented this "name dualities" for anti-heroes (of a fashion). However, the Dick Whitnam/Don Draper is the worst. At least, Angel having a soul and Angelus not having a soul is a real material difference that substantively affects vampire morality. Even though, the point of Angel is that the weak man and horrible demon are always there through Angel(us)'s looooong criminal history. At least, Walter White made a concerted choice that Heisenberg was his meth stage name and Walter White was his civilian name. Even though, the point of Breaking Bad is that OF COURSE the meth trade infected the home life and even, Walt increasingly acted like a brutal drug kingpin in his own home with his family.

However with Don Draper/Dick Whitnam, it's even more ridiculous to uphold some kind of duality where these are two separate guys. The different names aren't there to provide duality or a split identity of Don Draper vs. Dick Whitman; the names exist to show the CONTINUITY from childhood to adulthood. And that cuts both ways. A person's childhood dramatically affects their adulthood and a deeply traumatic childhood leaves serious psychological scars. However, adults are not frozen in amber in their childhood. They are people who are accountable for their choices- and the identity and life that they've carved as an adult is their obligation or source of pride or albatross or source of joy or usually all of the above to carry.

You can't judge an adult just on Bert Cooper's "A man is whatever room he is in" because yes, people have their own internal life partly informed by their past. The current job title or place of work is just an element of the individual. Bert Cooper would later have to choke on the words that just because a man is in a meeting in a very important office in a very fancy building to solicit Hersheys as a client doesn't mean said man is the room that he is in. However, we absolutely relate to individuals based on their current realities and a person's present actions are what directly shapes them as a person.

And yet, one of the key elements of Dick Whitnam is that *Don* feels that duality. He doesn't necessary feel it in an Angel(us) "It's a PR campaign of me as a Bad Ass Master Vampire and then PR campaign of me as a wonderful Champion" or a Walter White/Heisenberg "I need a bad-ass name to wear at work and my usual non-threatening name to wear at home." Instead for Don, the duality is "I'm carrying my Don Draper name as a part of my life and I must bury my past" but then, "My lack of realness in my usual identity requires me to always have a suitcase packed to run because I feel like I'm playacting even though everyone around me is actually living their full lives. I'm living like there's no tomorrow because there isn't one."

IMO, that duality was the most dangerous and toxic thing about Don. This Last Big Road Trip was an endless obstacle course of challenging Don's opinion that he could just pick up and leave because he went by two names and IMO, it put that opinion in the ground forever. Everything on the road trip was all targeted to impress on Don that "Don Draper" is not an alias; it's a life. And it's the second life of "You Only Live Twice" so he needs to take care of it.

In this respect, Don faces a similar lesson to Roger Sterling. However, IMO, there's more newness and hope to Don learning that he just has one life left. Partly, because I think Don *has* more back home. He's younger, his children are still young and love him even if they very correctly feel that he's profoundly limited as a man and father. The Coke ad proves that he hasn't even reached the creative pinnacle of his ad career, even though Don forgets, mentoring Peggy brings him joy. Probably competing with other McCann Creative Directors will make Don happy and then, dysfunctional, and then, cruel but always excited.

However, the other component is that Roger Sterling was always just Roger Sterling and that's all Roger ever wanted to be because that name comes with wealth, prestige, parents who adored him. Roger being at the tale end of that is a little bittersweet, even though he's had quite a run, because he could have had more. However with Don, the message is ultimately that there's really not much shame in being a self-made man, including how Don, in particular, ran away and acquired his wealth. The shame is in running from what you've built and disappointing people who count on you.

First, Don went chasing after Diana. In S1-5, Don pursued glamorous, exciting women who really had a lot going for them (at least on the surface) and could give him wonderful intangibles from glamor to high level business to nurturing to free-spirit cool. There was a bit of a sea-change in Sylvia as a sad, boring housewife, actually the less cool half of her marriage unlike Jimmy and Bobbi Barrett. However, Sylvia was Italian, conventionally successful, adventurous in bed, actually well-adjusted in some parts of her life except for her marriage ennui- and those added legitimacy distractions from the "Sylvia reminds Don of the prostitute who raped Dick so Don wants to punish Sylvia" core of Don's interest.

However, Diana is an unlikely mirror for Don, himself, in the same depression, angst about their children, interest in random, late night sex, the trail of heartache that they supposedly leave. Dick Whitman felt that he prostituted himself for Aimee when he didn't realize that molestation was the final asking price for getting to recover from croup in a bed instead of the cellar. Diana felt that she prostituted herself for Don when she didn't realize that Roger's tip was just a big lark tip from Roger- and then Don felt the shared angst and disgustingness after he realized that Diana felt that way. Don chased Diana just a little more with every instance that Diana is unimpressed with the Don Draper façade from wearing a suit for a 3 am booty call to his big apartment because Don actually feels the same way.

Don recoiled from Diana for a start when Diana admitted she abandoned her daughter, which Don realized is a bridge too far for him. Don is a limited father- but he wouldn't abandon his children and that's borne out in his phone calls to his kids on the road. Still though once Don decided he was done with McCann, Diana acquired an extra luster. Yes, Diana was too fucked up for Don when Don still had commitments to play Don Draper. However once Don decided he was finished with all ties to NY but his kids, suddenly "too fucked up to handle" became "I see my mission now. Save Diana and thus, save myself." However, Diana's spell rather quickly into Don's roadshow of "You Are Don Draper, Live With *Yourself*."

Bill Phillips: Guess we're not as dumb as you think we are.
Don: I'm leaving.
Bill: The clothes, the shoes, the Caddy? - You're no collection agent.
Don: I am.
Bill: You think you're the first one that came looking for her? She's a tornado just leaving a trail of broken bodies behind her.
Don: I didn't mean to disturb you.
Bill: Yeah, but you did. I am just starting to get back on my feet. Just starting to get back to even part of the way to where I was.
Don: Look, I'm sorry. I was worried about her. She seemed so lost.
Bill: Well, I lost my daughter to God and my wife to the devil. I lost everything. That what you wanted to know?
Don: No.
Bill: You can't save her. Only Jesus can. He'll help you, too. Ask Him.

When someone lives as an adult for long-enough, THAT'S who they become. Don had all of his Don Draper possessions and he was wearing a Don Draper outfit. Don was traveling with all obvious Don Draper romantic dysfunction and baggage that any Joe Schmoe midwestern beer consumer could see right through, even if the Manhattan Creative Directors think they're the ones that have Midwestern beer drinkers down to science. I would argue that this starts the theme of the roadtrip.

On one hand, Don is who he is and he can't just select limited items from the last twenty years, pointedly phone calls and postcards from his kids and his "Fuck you, I'll do what I want" fortune. You can't pick and choose from life like that. However, he *can* choose to inhabit his Don Draper role as his life instead of his alias and do better with it.

More than the compulsion to find Diana, it led Don to continue his thought experiment to play out his long-held belief that he could run away. IMO, it's always been integral to Don's long-held views of himself that he could run away and disappear into another life. "If I leave this place, it will *not* be for another job in advertising." Without a job, without responsibility for a business, without an apartment or furniture, without a wife, with the assumption that his kids were at boarding school or safely at the Francis residence with their mother, Don HAD to play this thing out and satisfy his curiosity on what would happen if he just chucked everything.

I would argue Don was almost *consciously* experimenting, "I always thought I could just be a hobo when things are dire in Manhattan. Let's play this thing out- how does it work?" without actually saying the words. In Don's mind, living as Don Draper had regressed to single, furniture-less, sausage factory Doldroms. While Don did comprehend that he made it that way, there's the ever-present temptation to take those lessons and start new with a better life where he only includes the things that actually worked out for Don Draper- making a fortune to finance early retirement and having a relationship (albeit distant) with his children.

The Milk and Honey Route began with Don's nightmares of being stopped by police and found out- so Don tried just fitting in as one of the anonymous motel guests to start. However, Don can't quite just fit in because he travels with the extraordinariness that made his Manhattan career and fortune. First, he stands out because of his movie-star handsomeness. "Helpin' out 'roun the motel" seems friendly and blue-collar enough- but his cleverness seeps in even when it comes to fixing things. Bad grammar bothers him after decades of smooth Manhattan chatter and being in charge of adding some of that badinage to the corporate and cultural zeitgeist. Then, his accustomedness to conveniences and pleasures like book and beer delivery without a job marks him as wealthy.

Don's "oozing" craving for attention and celebrity seeps out in how he over-donated and over-dressed at the veterans' affair. Don tells his Korea story with all of the gravitas of a Creative Director used to controlling a room with the power of his voice and like the Main Character On a TV Show who was having a huge psychological break-through that MUST take center-stage instead of the these vets telling the same old "Cannibalizing Germans who Just Surrendered And Begged for Clemency" story. LOL. We'll care about that story on Inglorious Basterds but this is *Mad Men*. Do any of you work on Madison Avenue? No! So, shut up Oakies from Muscogee! SEE! STEALTH!!!

I joke around- but it really broke my heart that Don declared, "I killed my CO...I blew him apart and I got to go home." I had no idea that he felt that way because he described the incident as an accident to Anna, Faye, and Betty when he told the story to each of them. And it *was* an accident. Dick's hands were trembling in fear after he just nearly died. He pissed himself. It's wasn't sloppy or irresponsible of him to drop his lighter and he wasn't his fault that the land was now doused with combustible chemicals.

Ironically, the most damning way to tie Don 2.0 to the murder to Don 1.0 is blame cigarette companies for giving young servicemen cigarettes during WWII and the Korean War to get them addicted as they smoked through unbelievable stress.. That was evil and indirectly contributed to Don Draper 1.0's death. I'm actually a little cranky that this never came up as a plot point when SC represented Lucky Strike- although SC was forced out of the cigarette business in 1964 right when the Vietnam War really heated up. However, there COULD have been a story in S3-4 about Lucky Strike trying to get into the ration pails for American soldiers heading to Vietnam. Yet while Don Draper, Mad Men Creative Director never lived out the damning ad plotline, it WAS his MO but I think it's possible that it could have come up as one of Don's particular ethical lines in the sand that everyone else doesn't understand because they don't really know Don's past like refusing to spank his children or having a problem with firing Freddy for pissing his pants.

It's also interesting to consider that a pretty big part of Don Draper 2.0 really felt understandable but still unfair and tragic guilt for killing Don Draper 1.0. And yet, Don 2.0 said Don 1.0 was killed in combat to Anna Draper and removed himself as a catalyst of the death. Don omitted the part of the story that he switched the dog-tags on the field of battle, instead, intimating that there was a mix-up in the hospital and he took advantage of it to go home. Don chose his words very carefully with Anna, perhaps because he felt that he'd get no clemency if he even voiced guilt for being a part of her husband's death.

Of course, Don's attempt to blend in didn't work. Don stuck out like a sore thumb and became the City Slicking Outsider Target for the veterans, the car repair guy that wanted to over-charge him, even teenage delivery boy Andy. At that point, Don absorbs the lesson that you cannot just steal and come back to your hometown again so easily. Stealing to become someone else *changes* you.

Don: I know you think you know how to hustle, but this is a big crime, stealing these people's money. If you keep it, you'll have to become somebody else. And it's not what you think it is. You cannot get off on that foot in this life.
Andy: What do you care? You got money. I know you got money. I cleaned your room and didn't take nothing.
Don: *Anything.* You think this town is bad now? Wait until you can never come back.

This conversation is somewhat mirrored by Don's conversation with Sally earlier this season:

Sally: You know what I'm gonna write down for my dream? I want to get on the bus and get away from you and Mom and hopefully be a different person than you two.
Don: Hey. I'm your father. And you may not want to listen to this, but you are like your mother and me. You're gonna find that out. You're a very beautiful girl. It's up to you to be more than that

It's ironic because Sally, in that very statement, revealed a striking similarity to her dad. Don really ran away to war and stayed on the train to get away and be a different person than his birth parents or the people that raised him. You can't get more "get away" and "different person" than what he attempted to do. However, most of the veins underneath Don's story are similarities to his birth parents and the people the raised him- his birth mother's slutty whoreness, his birth father's drunken boorishness, Uncle Mac's pimping exploitation, Abigail's cold judgeyness. (Although, Don has to be given credit for single-handedly stopping the cycle of poverty, mostly stopping the cycle of violence and absolutely stopping the cycle of child abuse, stopping the Whitman glorification of ignorance to start.)

Where Sally transcends her parents is how she STAYS with fidelity to family and responsibility that eluded Don and an ability to have it all by finishing her education and pursuing her extra-curriculars even in the middle of a crisis without resenting her little brothers unlike Betty.

There is an interesting dynamic on the strengths and pitfalls of masculinity in the urban v. rural environment here. I do think it's realistic that the Mad Men veterans would not have a little support group to talk about their wartime experiences on any deep level that could lead to leaning or crying while the Oakies would have their little support group just for them and them alone. It's just a little too raw. From Red in the Face:

Roger: And maybe I was bored but I thought "we should get that little plane."
Don: Bored? What about scared? That never comes into these stories.

I'm sure all professional 1960s Manhattan guys were not that emotionally stilted- but yes, the Mad Men are a curious group onto themselves. "Mad Men: A term coined in the late 1950's to describe the advertising executives of Madison Avenue.....They coined it." and so the series goes... It makes you wonder how many Mad Men veterans had PTSD and never talked about the war but just buried their angst in the bar in their office. It certainly makes me think of kind, well-intentioned Freddy Rumson who was "in charge of killing people and by people I mean Germans" according to Roger and ended up becoming an alcoholic and then, when he was actually totally sober, treated like an unfun pariah on Madison Avenue.

Powerful masculinity is the big goal for these mid-20th century guys. However, Mad Men urbane sophisticates achieve their masculinity in business domination, but also partying with the most flair. It makes every social get-together on MM into a contest between the guys on who can drink the most, tell the bawdiest joke, nail a broad. This is all crowds out genuine confiding. The rural guys DID confide in each other.

Ironically, a lot of the male characters on the show expressed an interest in confiding in Don on some deeper level than just drinking and chasing skirts. Pete, Freddy, Roger, Lane, Sal, Harry, Ted, Connie Hilton, random strangers like the prison guard in the waiting room, in his own, separate way, Bobby Draper. However, it's a Catch-22. Guys would like to drop their pretensions and confide in Don alone because Don has a reputation for being just that cool and savvy that asking for emotional advice from Don feels like a wise choice in conversation instead of crying on another dude's shoulders like a sissy and being in Don's zone is so automatically cool that they don't even necessarily have to end the night in sex to stop it from being an adventure.

However, there's a consistent dynamic where Don believes that being asked to have a deep, non-business Person to Person conversation with a guy is another pitfall for Don to reveal too much about himself and then, consequently be judged and lose his power/control. After all, basically all of these guys DO decide to put forth unusual effort to be Don's friend because of the Don Draper persona and Don knows this.

Maybe I'm speaking too soon. However, I do think there's something to expanding the metaphor that yes, Don puts himself in a cold refrigerator and willfully ignores the deeper human connections that he could make but that's partly because Don has very good cause to view himself as especially perishable. However, ironically, Don isn't AS perishable as he sees himself. To put into booze parlance because MAD MEN THEME, you don't have to put every bottle of wine in the back of the refrigerator. I like chilled wine, but some wines are better unchilled and ice exists to chill down champagnes and whites and some roses. Moreover if you put a good bottle of wine in Don's constructed version of a whacked out refrigerator where it's so cold that it's practically a freezer but then the electricity gives out and it can suddenly heat, you'll destroy the wine, no matter how fine and intoxicating it originally was.

So yeah, for practical and emotional reasons, Don could only tell his full version of truth, down to the guilt over killing Don Draper 1.0, as a random traveler. Don was somewhat embracing the surface small town values that every stranger is just a friend you haven't made yet and you could speak your mind.

However, Don was reacquainted with how hillbilly provincial friendliness could turn into ugly suspicion and violence against outsiders in a NON-New York minute. And Don was all, "Oh yeah, that's why I left!" Hee! Don played a more high-rent version of the Hobo in The Hobo Code. Don arrived at this backwater town to some mid-Western hospitality (albeit laced with suspicion and self-righteousness). He was betrayed at the conclusion of his stay. However, Don used his advantages to break the cycle more firmly. I mean, The Hobo did do Dick Whitman a kindness of sorts to say he knows nothing about Dick being a Whore Child and inducting him into the codes of hobos. However, it was a "If death was heading any place, it'd be here, kid. BUH-BYE" one-night relationship. Don ended up doing more for Andy. However, I do think that's not just a function of money but a function that Don was looking for his next step to be happier and better; The Hobo was just donzo with everything except wandering around until death.

And yet, Don is still not against trying to start over. He's seen the problems in stealing to start over. However, his trip so far was hardly an ode to provincialism. That's why he gave Andy his car. It's a subconscious but important moment in giving Don a chance to work out where he's done wrong and where he's acted fairly. As Don projects with Andy, there's nothing wrong with Andy being dissatisfied with the cruel underbelly of his sleepy town and wanting more in life than to be an errand boy in a motel. The problem is in embarking on a new life with deception and fraud and forcibly cutting all ties to every person in your past life, even if the person is innocent, like Don did with Adam. BTW, Adam bears some connection to the motel owner's wife who is imperfect and placidly accepts abuse of others but is mostly trapped and a victim, themselves.

Moreover for Don's own purposes, yes, Don beamed with relief when he was left on the side of the road without a car. However, Don was happy for the romance of starting fresh on the road, not for the romance of being on the side of the road with absolutely nothing and nothing to do. Hence, the next time that we saw Don, in rather short-order, he took over a hot-rod gig.

IMO, Don partly got in the hot-rod business detour because Don's escapist self-centered, fiercely ambitious fantasies always had a through line that he fully expects to be welcomed home as hero after his escape and to some extent, he's conscious and unconscious of that. After his S1 Rachel-influenced extra distance, Don was stunned into lack of movement when he came back home for a touching reunion with his family....but they already left for the holidays and the whole world didn't stand still for his sentiments.

When Don got
back from California at the end of S2, he was very determined to Take His Family Back and he really lived for swooping in at the last minute and just PWNING Duck in the PPL deal and then, parlayed his "How I Flaked Out of a Business Trip Which Is A Fireable Offense for Mere Non-Executive Mortals" into a Deep Important Story about California's renewal and the lessons it has for Penn Station. In S7, Bert Cooper WAS right that Don totally fantasized that that they'd have some creative crisis that would necessitate Don to come in and Be The Prodigal Hero.

IMO, Don's adventures in souping up cars and bragging to Sally about it is a sign that Don was considering coming home- but he needed something cool before he does that to take this trip many notches above "I chased this chick that I had sex with twice and her husband thought I was one pathetic guy in a line of pathetic guys and then, I squatted in a motel and then, some vets beat the crap out of me" reality. As I said above, giving Andy the car technically cut Don away from his wheels back home. However, it metaphorically drew him closer to home by forgiving himself with Andy as his proxy on his original move to become Don Draper and move out of Pennsylvania.

With that in mind, Don was just paralyzed that there's serious consequences to him avoiding his real life and corresponding obligations. As it turns out it's not so easy to go home at all, let alone as any kind of hero. Sally and Betty didn't exactly see eye to eye about what should happen to Gene and Bobby- but they came to independent but lock-step conclusions that Don shouldn't be the custodial parent for his sons. I should note that I'm focusing on Don's POV because this is a meta about Don. However, Don's sadness here is far more deserved than Betty's/Sally's/Gene's/Bobby's devastation and dangerous insecurity that the biological dad is a unfit parent.

However, this *is* a Don-meta and IMO, he absolutely found Sally's and Betty's instructions to stay away and don't fight for custody shell-shocking. I completely believe that Don stayed in California through the remainder of the ep because he was shell-shocked and didn't know the right thing to do. NOT because he suddenly reconsidered his first and second instinct to take his children and then, just decided on the phone with Betty that he didn't want to deal with field trip forms and cooking. Sure, Don has that selfishness to him. However, that's a malaise that creeps up later when the obligations of child-rearing approach. Not in the five seconds after Betty turns down his request for custody. It's very clear what arguments stop Don in his tracks- Betty's insistence that she doesn't want to spend her final days arguing about her wishes as the mother and Betty's pointed comment that Don is an unreliable parent.

Here's the tricky thing. Don immediately going back to assert custody over his kids would be a mixture of excellent/"what's required of him" but also Cock of the Walk arrogant and sort of cruel to start fights with a dying Betty who said firmly that she doesn't want to fight about custody in her final days but just wants her wishes respected. It would be almost delusionally arrogant to insist that he should get full custody straight off when he hasn't proven that everyone can count on him in the long-term. Again, Don's past behavior and choices put everyone in this miserable predicament. It's extremely tricky because Don raising his children is absolutely his privilege and responsibility and I really think Don was becoming better over the last almost two years but was taking bizzaro, irresponsible paths to get there but it's unfair to make Gene and Bobby the lab guinea pigs in Don's redemption. Their needs for stability come first.

As I said, I feel really firmly that per Betty's wishes, William and his wife should take the boys- but Don should financially support his kids and visit as often as possible in a true joint custody arrangement. Later down the road, if William and his wife feel that Don demonstrated enough consistency and responsibility that Betty would have wanted him to take his children, Don should get to regain the responsibility and *privilege* of raising his children himself. I said elsewhere that I also like this as a mirror of when Don dominated William into accepting arrangements for Gene Senior where Gene moved into the Draper house and William was supposed to provide his financial support, even though the Drapers were better placed to provide financial support and William and his kind wife were better placed to provide caretaking support all on the alter of maintaining the gender split where Betty is presumed the feminine daughter caretaker and William is presumed the masculine son provider.

As I've argued above, there are a ton of reasons on why, however Don came into his second name, it's *his* now. With all of the wealth and obligations and baggage and admirers and trail of mistakes and giant shiny billboards associated with it. His children probably rank as the number one reason on why Don has an obligation to live as Don Draper and how it creates far more injustice than justice for Don to turn the clock back twenty years and start again with his first name. But more than just that, Don's children are a reason why Don maybe shouldn't be alpha Cock of the Walk who expects everyone to revolve around his feelings but he DOES need to assert himself in a crisis or in a sea of adults and speak up for himself and his people.

IMO, the advertising and family issues blend here. No way does Don have the same moral obligations to McCann as to his family. McCann and SC deliberatively structured the deal. The front-end money was to take SC's clients, personnel, neutralize SC as an up and coming threat, and get everyone to sign non-competes. The back-end money was to ensure that that the Main Partners of Interest (Ted and especially Don) work at McCann for the next five years and maybe more. Just because Jim Hobart's Moby Dick fantasies of Dick Whitman didn't work out doesn't mean that Don has an obligation to work there if he's fine with giving up his back end payment for a five-year commitment.

However, that all said the professional and personal commitments arrive at a similar issue. Part of being Don Draper and what everyone expects from Don Draper is to be assertive and persuasive. Don has his obligations to his employees, business, or family because he was assertive and persuasive and to some extent, that's what people have come to rely on him for. Yes, Don needed to take a step back from the earlier seasons where uber-privilege and toxic masculinity demanded that his word be law. Don should question whether his word is even correct. However, while it's surface woobieness to give away possessions and run away or Not Deal because you don't want to talk over the other Creative Directors, it doesn't help anyone and it doesn't satisfy Don's existing obligations to folks.

After that point, Don is pretty shell-shocked and immobile for all of his wandering right up until the Leonard scene. IMO, he most subconsciously stumbles ("pull you out of some drunk tank" lol) into Stephanie's house looking for one final bit of validation that he has a "family" that actually needs him and wants him around. Up until her death, Anna Draper was the one connection that Don maintained to his past and the literal symbol that Don could run away or wallow in his past life in a totally safe, comforting way if he was mucking up his current one. Don put Stephanie in Anna's spot, partly out of genuine menschy responsibility and partly because Don wanted to keep his California security blanket.

I don't have much to say about him at Stephanie's house. There is an interesting ambiguity. Don offered Anna Draper's wedding ring to Stephanie- which was absolutely the right thing to do. Like, Anna was doing a very kind thing by giving Don the ring to keep up their bond and encourage him in death to not make the same mistakes of not telling his next wife about his past. It was appropriate since Anna didn't have male relatives. However, I do think the failed marriage with Megan and the ring is a sign that Don shouldn't be looking for wife #3 enabled by Anna's ring that had every message to pursue an honest, carefully thought out marriage attached to it which Don ignored.

Stephanie declined the ring. Don put the wedding ring on the table, next to the envelope of his possessions. Later on, Stephanie made a choice to wake Don up and take him to Esalen but we don't see Don gather his items. I think it's deliberately left up to question if the wedding ring is burning a hole in his pocket, as it did in Tomorrowland. However while the motif of a wedding ring burning a hole in Don's pocket is amusing and interesting to bring up and toy the audience with, it's ultimately not conclusive enough to have a scene of Don taking the wedding ring with him or deliberately leaving it on Stephanie's table. Because wedding rings don't propose, PEOPLE propose. LOL.

Don is like, an eighth of a person as Stephanie drags him to Esalen Institute. One of my complaints about MM is that I didn't think it was kind enough to the hippies and counter-culture. Note, the darker "Kinsey in Hare Krishna", "Margaret in a cult" felt like the realistic underbelly of the late '60s; IMO, the undesirable side of hippies was overplayed through Betty's POV in The Doorway. However, there wasn't enough positive examples of left-wing '60s culture, especially when Abe went downhill and Joyce disappeared. This ep went a long way towards correcting that and firming up my "defense" that MM was just cynical about hippies because MM speaks through its verbose main characters who were generally cynical about hippies. Once the show wrote a plot that stranded Don with the good apples of hippies, he has to see their point on the calming nature of Eastern philosophy, the value of group therapy, the peace of communing with nature which are all good points that get mocked as corny.

Moreover, the theme of psychiatry persisted on MM. I really enjoyed the contrasting efficacy of therapy on MM; I think the different versions may be even more affecting than The Sopranos zeroing in a one-on-one talk therapy relationship. The fancy-shmancy Manhattan psychiatrist for wealthy housewives who acts as a spy to enable the husband to keep control on the wife does more harm than good. Yet, the suburban child psychiatrist in a simpler office can do much better, just by having some fucking integrity and treating her clients like they have a right to their own personal thoughts. A guy like Roger Sterling can't have a productive psychiatry session unless he changes his behavior- because the result was Roger spent a ton of money just to have the same witty but empty chatter that he has everywhere. Someone like Stephanie actually really doesn't benefit from group therapy because it devolves into a focus group on her choices.

However, group therapy logically helps Don if he's an observer, because it does him good to work through a meeting where he's not THE STAR to play on his native interest in people (especially strangers) but not in the context where they're consumers of products or consumers of "Don Draper." Although, I'm not so sure that Don would do as well *talking* in group therapy. It's too dangerous to make a habit of confiding the desertion/identity stuff to strangers. IMO, his childhood was so unbelievably awful that he'd become a tragedy celebrity curiosity in a group therapy session which seems counter-productive for him and everyone else where. His daily struggles to live as Don Draper are existential angst when viewed from his POV with his history- but to a Leonard-type, it's more than a little ridiculous. So, Don would need to edit everything which seems more like his work than anything else.

But ultimately, if psychiatry is handled poorly it's the pink candy stove of 1960 and possibly even less benign; if it's handled well, it's very helpful.

THAT WAS A DIGRESSION. At any rate, yup, Stephanie predictably did not benefit from group therapy. Moreover, Don's last attempt for the kind of emotionally whole and necessary runaway experience failed as the last Dick Whitman tie was cut and Stephanie firmly said that they're not family. That said, I do think Stephanie's attitude is somewhat colored by Megan's manipulations in The Runaway. Stephanie *did* call Don for non-judgmental help in The Runaways because she thought she could count on Don for that. Then, when Stephanie arrived at Megan's house, Megan put pretty poisonous words in Don's mouth.

Megan: It's just I'm looking at you and seeing how, well, disorganized this all is. And I don't think he'd stand for that. I don't think he'd trust you to make your own plans.
Stephanie: I don't know what I'm doing here. This is a dumb idea.
Megan: No, no, I mean, he wants to help, I'm sure, in his way. We both do. I'm going to give you... would $1,000 get you far enough?

However while that's an underrated and important kernel, it's still a *kernel*. There's also the blunt truth that Don really didn't have the real relationship with Stephanie- he had it with Anna and Stephanie can't just be slotted in there. Moreover, a big part of why Don & Anna worked was that Don was in lost cuddly puppy mode whenever he went over there. It allowed Anna and Don to have a symbiotic relationship. Don got advice and comfort; Anna got to feel like someone was really listening to her and appreciating her advice compared to everyone else who devalued her because she was a crippled widow. When shit got real with Anna and there was a question about whether to tell her about her cancer, Don tried being Manhattan Don Draper and getting some control over the situation- but he couldn't because that wasn't his role there. It's odd, even within the bounds of their odd relationship and bizarre name-changing history, for Don to try acting like Stephanie's father or even uncle.

Then, Don calls Peggy who actually DID appreciate the "Move forward" advice to unwed mothers who gave up their children. Don called Peggy because he just didn't know what to do at all but yet, he had these yearnings to go back home to his people but felt that he couldn't go home. It creates curious a contradiction in the phone call.

Don: I only called because I realized I never said good-bye to you.

Peggy: I don't think you should be alone right now.
Don: I'm in a crowd. I just wanted to hear your voice. I'll see you soon.

Moreover, I'd say this was part and parcel about one of the most encouraging things about S7 Don. Yes, he does his THANG but then, he's more likely to eventually sit and evaluate whether he's really in the right. Just before the Don/Peggy phone call, Don had this conversation with the receptionist:

Don: How do I get out of here? My friend took the car.
Receptionist: We can get you a car and driver with a couple day's notice. Or you could hitch, but you'll be standing there all day. You can thank Charlie Manson for that.
Don: (sighs) Damn it.
Receptionist: I'm sure you can get a ride back with somebody by the end of the week. You're all paid up.
Don: (angrily) People just come and go and no one says good-bye?
Receptionist: I'm sorry, but people are free to come and go as they please.

Obviously, Don did realize that he should call because he never said goodbye to Peggy, even if he anticipated going back to NY at the end of the week. Don still has bad habits where he operates like he's the only person in his life. However, S7, if nothing else, really offers a solid indication that Don became much more likely to question the habit, remain or return to the person where he screwed up, and make amends.

IMO, it's a red-herring to suggest that Peggy doubled for Stephanie. IMO, the phone call continues a stream where Peggy doubled for Anna which was already implied in The Suitcase. However, one of the interesting things about the Peggy v. Anna divide, is that Anna knew about the desertion/identity theft and Peggy never did. However, Peggy really knows the good, bad, and ugly of Manhattan Don Draper and Anna Draper never did. My conclusion? Peggy knew Don best because, again, how Don chose to use his two decades of adult freedom is the defining question of his character more than his original name and military rank.

THAT'S the substance behind "Don, what did you ever do that was so bad?" Peggy knows about the drinking and philandering and "Tarzan swinging from vine to vine" business tactics. She's in the ad game with the inherent deception there. She's been on the receiving end of his tantrums and cutting remarks or his IMO, reasonable critiques that Peggy viewed as unfair. Peggy's hardly some blinkered little naïf of sunshine who just thinks the world of Don because she doesn't know him or only keeps up the nicest image of him in her mind. "You're a monster." "Here's a blank piece of paper. Why don't you turn that into Glo-coat?" "It's not my fault you don't have a family to go home to." "I can't say anyone's really missed you." "Why don't you just write down all of your dreams so I can shit on them?" And so on and so forth.

It's not that Peggy thinks Don is perfect or has an especially clean record. Instead, Peggy is merely saying the shining and obvious truth- Peggy has not seen Don do anything so bad that he should disappear into nothingness and give up on life. That's all and that's all there needs to be. Peggy has worked for Don for years and tried her hand at not working for Don (with CGC, Lou as Creative Director and McCann). Peggy's been estranged from Don and attached to Don. After serious and informed consideration, Peggy would absolutely prefer to work for Don and have him around as a friend and mentor but not as the most important man in her life. She's sympathetic to a certain degree to his problems but she refuses to let his drama guide her life like she's some nervous poodle. She's aghast that he'd say he did nothing with his life when he's already achieved her main goals- become Creative Director, land a big account, arguably create something of lasting value in advertising. It's not charity or sucking-up or some unbelievable kindness; it's hard-headed realism with a dash of sentiment.

IMO, Don calls Peggy after he realized that there was no New Life keeping him in California. I actually wouldn't say Don was suicidal. As Stan said, Don's a survivor and that prevents Don from doing something like throwing himself off the biggest cliff at Big Sur. Instead, Don won't take his own life but he'll do something self-destructive to deaden the pain of just...being or he'll sit in stasis until something inspires him.

At this point, IMO, Don was looking east. As I said, the hot rod gig appeared like a temporary sojourn. His first instinct was to go home to his kids when it appeared like they'd lose Betty- but then, Betty and Sally told him not to. He was shell-shocked and trying to find the motivation to disregard their statements or find a new family. After Stephanie cut off the last reason that Don has to move out west permanently, Don's phone call to Peggy was him actively looking for a way back and passively making Peggy the new Anna/Stephanie hybrid. Of note, Don's main regrets revolve entirely about how he comported himself as Don Draper.

Don: I broke all my vows. I scandalized my child. I took another man's name and made nothing of it.

Of course, that WOULD be Don's top three sins. I'd argue that Don put them in ascending order of shame as he'd define it. Even though, many would argue that Sally catching Don with Sylvia (and a little bit the oozing with her friend) isn't as bad as Don actively being unfaithful repeatedly. However, IMO, Don loves Sally more than either of his wives and as Sally pointed out, Don hated being caught in a lie more than actually telling one. Some would argue that Don should put something else instead of "made nothing of another man's name" because that's not really true and in fact, Don's inability to be happy with his actual life contributes to his bad behavior. However, that's a consistent fear of Don's.

Obviously, Don verbalizing what he really felt most guilty about just took all of the energy out of him so again, he was easily dragged to the next thing (group therapy) much like how Stephanie dragged him to the Esalen Institute. However, then comes the famous Leonard talk. IMO, it really pulls together everything to give Don a resolve to get himself back. For most of the trip, Don absorbed push factors away from Dick Whitman/wandering. No Diana. He can't just blend into a motel. He's sick of playing cars after hearing about Betty and his kids. Stephanie doesn't want to be in his family. Then, he started to look east with Peggy but he was immobilized from the guilt inherent in that conversation. Leonard finally vocalizes the pull factors on why Don should go back to NY.

Call me a fuzzy-wuzzy marshmallow, but one way or another, it was critical for Don to absorb the complete message that people love him, they do their best to show it, just because he feels cold or alone, doesn't mean that he's not receiving love, and his choice to believe that he's cold and alone in a refrigerator is profoundly disturbing to everyone outside that cares about him. Don's big problem is disappearing physically or emotionally with coldness, drinking, and/or sex. That wouldn't really be a problem if he was some zero of a guy with nothing to contribute or someone who just does SO MUCH harm ala Walter White that you've gotta nod a little when Marie says, "Why don't you kill yourself? I think it would be better for everyone." It's a tragedy because Don DOES have a lot to contribute because his good impulses are genuinely powerful and generative.

In the "How do you solve a problem like Don Draper?" question, the narrative provides Don with different external and internal drives to change his behavior. (I don't get people who say that Don's arc is poorly written because it's repetitive.) Per the flashbacks, oppressing Don/Dick and ensuring that he has no choices but just takes non-stop terribleness created the disease in the first place. Per S1 and a lesser but present extent the rest of the series, the world should not give Don license to do whatever he wants where secretaries have to lie for him, his wife's shrink is his personal spy, he has an entire part of the family home that his wife isn't allowed to go through devoted to his secrets, his wife has no idea what he earns so he has discretionary funds to keep secrets and entertain mistresses, or he gets thanked for babysitting his own kids.

S4 instructs that it's not sustainable for Don to just Be A Good Boy out of shame-based "I would like to have just a modicum of control over my emotions" because scary, cataclysmic events can always happen that give Don cause to re-commit that he should live like there's no tomorrow because there probably isn't one. And yes, for most people the pursuit of happiness beats Being Good Out of Shame over the long-term. S5 instructs that Don can't fix his entire life based on making one woman his idealized guiding star. Per S7 to some extent, the world being harsh with Don is somewhat good for him. But there's a line and people will look awful and/or create serious instability and danger in their world or engender Don's justified withdrawal or confrontation if they step over it with duplicity or OTT temper tantrums.

No one can just expect individuals, particularly those with serious trauma and pain, to be a happy well-adjusted people just out of pure shame or flinging manpain accusations or doxing them on Tumblr or whatever. However, at the same time, being elevated to the status of mid-20th century prince doesn't wave a scepter over someone's head to MAKE THEM well-adjusted. "Who could not be happy with all of this?" is a false question. Moreover, the rest of the world shouldn't have to take lying and neglect lying down. No other person is responsible for somehow dragging Don out of the refrigerator to prove that he's loved by a lot of people if he insists on remaining in the refrigerator. So, Don's process to the couch or lotus position concluding with Leonard's speech works for me.

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