lay awake in lust and rust in the rain
Fandom: Naruto
Characters: Uchiha Itachi & Haruno Sakura
Prompts: 18. dreams & 93. glimpse & 380. found in reality
Word Count: 2443
Rating: K
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
Notes: 7/31 of a mini-series entitled Chiaroscuro. Sequels/Prequels can be found here at CHIAROSCURO. This one is anachronistic with the main storyline. Written for 50_shinobi & lover100 & 500themes.
-
To Sakura, the years in between were little more than blurs on canvas. Between her epiphany and eventual inauguration into the revered ranks of the Jounin folk, six long years had passed, with days, weeks and months often blurring together. Some memories stood out prominently against the rest; bright, bright streaks of anomalies against the otherwise monotonous picture. As a sentimentalist, Sakura tried to cling to them all. Memories, mostly with Naruto, Sasuke and Kakashi; sometimes, but less often, with the rest of the Rookie Nine or even Tsunade and Shizune, were the only things she had left of what she could only call innocence. She knew now that these were the things that had helped her live on, strive through the mess of pain, loss and frankly, more pain.
Amongst those golden memories, there were two that she kept extremely close to her heart, hidden under lock and key. These memories were the ones she guarded with as much ferocity and passion as the Konoha secrets entrusted to her as the Hokage’s apprentice and top medic. This was a secret she kept from all, including the two closest to her heart. It wasn’t as if she kept this secret intentionally - it simply never felt right to announce, and quite frankly, if the two men ever found out about it, Pandora’s box would look like little more than a sunny storm.
* * * * *
YEAR FIFTEEN; of hurdles, obstacles, and setbacks
Sakura wanted nothing more than to cry. It was a comforting thing, crying. Crying was the symbol of her childhood, the very embodiment of her innocence. There was nothing quite like the comfort of relinquishing all the stress of the world, heaving away everything in such simple droplets. It was no wonder then, that Sakura adored the rain. While girls like Ino frowned at that type of weather, muttering about hair, clothes and whatever else, Sakura was most comfortable in a torrential downpour.
On a rainy day, Sakura could revert to the comforts of her childhood, stress-free, without worrying about appearances or labels. On a rainy day, Sakura could just be free, burden-free and genuine to a fault. On a rainy day, Sakura could do all this unnoticed.
Which is why it was no wonder that on that particular stormy day, Sakura was outside, alone in the dense Konoha forests. Naruto was away training, Sasuke was recovering in the hospital, and Kakashi was nowhere to be found. Thus, no one had inquired after her whereabouts with any particular interest, and she had been able to slip away in relative anonymity. Unlike how she lived her life the majority of the time, Sakura did not rush to her destination. There was no need to scurry from place to place, her eyes glued to the clock. So she strolled, leisurely and slowly, towards her favourite clearing.
It was an odd sight to behold, a young girl by civilian standards wandering the streets alone, seemingly senseless and completely drenched. There was however, no one to witness this spectacle, as most had kept to their indoor activities for the day, and even as she disappeared beyond the boundaries of the trees, naught but two souls saw her pass.
At her slow pace, it took her nearly triple the time it would normally take her to reach her spot of serenity. The rain had not relented at all, and not for the first time, she was grateful for the stifling Konoha heat. There was no doubt that she’d be freezing by now without the natural heat aid. Once she arrived, though, another surprise awaited her.
Never in the three years that she’d discovered this small opening had she ever met another soul within it. So she had taken forgranted that it was very much hers. But today, even before she had set food in the clearing, she felt it. Another presence was close, most likely within her spot, and was so relaxed that the person might have been asleep. Tentatively, she stepped into the area, not sure of the person or their intentions, though she was positive that he was a shinobi.
Through the downpour, it was remarkably difficult to see the other side of the small clearing where the other person lay, still unmoving. There was no threatening aura emanating from the person though, and since Sakura was in no mood whatsoever to play detective, she simply plopped down on her side, content to ignore his presence. Under the slight protection of the large elm, Sakura could enjoy the rain on her face without drowning in the water. Like this, all the stressful thoughts from her training dissipated within moments, and before she could count even fifteen sheep in her mind, she had already drifted off into another land.
In her dream, the rain also fell around her in sheets, nearly drowning her, but not. In her dream, there was red, and there was black, all mixed into a torrent of one entity she dreamed of often by the name of Itachi. In her dream, he was close, closer than he’d been to her in years. And in this dream, they were alone, entirely alone, in a way that she was sure could only happen in dreams. It was a remarkably uncreative dream, for they were in the same clearing as the one she occupied currently in reality, and even more uncreative was that Itachi was exactly like the Itachi in reality, quiet, mysterious and an enigma altogether that she couldn’t solve.
In this dream, he was lying next to her on the soaked grass, eyes also shut peacefully in a way she’d have thought impossible for a man so entrenched with the ways of a shinobi, and also, as it seemed, sleeping. It was the most uncreative dream she’d had to date starring Itachi, and by definition, also the most boring. They weren’t doing anything, per say, and they weren’t having the deep soul conversations she so often dreamed of having with the man. And neither was he gazing at her through the rose coloured lenses of a lover.
They were simply there, resting, side by side, with no further interaction.
For reasons unknown to her, Sakura was incandescently happy like never before in this dream.
* * * * *
When Sakura woke an indeterminate amount of time later, she found that the patch of grass next to her had a distinct imprint of a human body, and that the mysterious other occupant of her clearing had disappeared.
* * * * *
YEAR SEVENTEEN; of becoming a women, through and through
Sakura often wondered at the rainy day two years ago. The more thought she gave to the subject, the more convinced she became of its inaccuracy. It had probably been nothing but a product of her wishful imagination after a long week, nothing more than the result of tenacious longing.
Despite her inability to determine its legitimacy, Sakura still cherished the memory. And though she hated to admit it, she was still a naïve sentimentalist at times. Most times. And as such, after that lovely rainy day, she had tried her hardest to visit the little clearing was as much frequency as her life and covertness would allow. But no matter how many times she visited, no matter how she tried to vary the time of day, time of month, time of week, she never encountered another person again. A few times she was even desperate enough to chance a visit when no rain fell over Konoha, but she had returned to civilisation disappointed every time.
And so today, even though the storm of the year raged on around her, Sakura found that she had no energy to brave another visit to the clearing. The spark of hope within her refused to be diffused, which meant that she would only be hit with a wall of disappointment once she arrived at the clearing to find it empty once more.
The rain, though, had been entirely too enticing to ignore, and with her ego, thoughts and mood completely shot to hell, she’d ventured outside without much thought of destination. Eventually she found a deserted place and with no hesitation, settled down against the wall. She looked for all the world like a homeless, sorry girl, but Sakura had not one ounce of care left in her. The spot she’d chosen was odd and altogether creepy, if she had given it any real thought. Sitting in the darkness, at three in the morning on a Wednesday evening, Sakura wondered at the usefulness of her own existence. What on earth was she doing here, outside the Uchiha compound, sulking like a beggar with no belonging?
In reality, Sakura had not known where else to go.
She had no idea where her teammates were. She figured they were probably all on a mission together, but didn’t have the energy to find out. She felt entirely drained of everything, emotionally and physically. The drenched state of her physical self probably did nothing to help the fact, but she was too tired and broken to care.
She was seventeen already, for heaven’s sake. Practically a veteran by shinobi standards, and definitely not of any age where moping about such an ordeal was acceptable. But here she was, sulking within herself at the loss of the last shred of her innocence. Kunoichi mission. When Tsunade had given her this mission, slightly hesitantly, Sakura had been confident of her own ability and mental status.
She’d considered it a rite of passage, almost. And even better was the fact that Ino had yet to have hers. But the experience. What on earth had she been expecting? Just another A-class mission? Aim, shoot and kill?
Sakura shut her eyes at the thought, which helped nothing. The images flowed without restriction through the forefronts of her mind, and when she opened her eyes, she eyed the small bottle dangling precariously between her fingers. It was unopened, clear, and altogether enticing. There was really nothing stopping her from turning to the intoxicating liquid in her hands. Many shinobi in their ranks turned to it. It was nothing to be openly admitted and discussed, of course, but the truth was always plain to see.
With some hesitation, Sakura twisted off the cap of the bottle.
Would it make her a lesser shinobi? A lesser woman? She liked to think not, but perhaps that was only her romanticization of the situation.
With even more hesitation, she brought the bottle to her lips. The smell was overwhelming, triggering her instinct to vomit. Sniffing quite daintily, she set the bottle back down on the cement. Then, she came to her senses. Alcohol. Really? she thought, mentally berating herself. You’re better than that, idiot.
And that was how he found her.
There was nothing in his sophisticated mind that could vocalize the irony he felt when he caught sight of Sakura, sitting so dejectedly on the floor. It was the same road where they’d first encountered each other, all those years ago. But here he was, sober eight years now, ever since that significantly insignificant bundle of flowers. Yet here she was, about to turn down the same road. It didn’t take a critical mind or eye to see that she’d just crossed yet another invisible shinobi line of no return. She was so out of it that she didn’t even notice Itachi. To be completely fair, he was still somewhat further down the road, and it was nearly pitch black outside…
In an impromptu decision, Itachi decided to stay still and watch.
It was fascinating, he decided later, watching her decision process. It was with disappointment that he couldn’t explain when he watched her pick up the solitary bottle, and with suspended animation when he watched her eyeing the bottle precariously. And finally, it was with silent respect when he watched, through Sharingan activated eyes, the resolve fill into her own orbs as she corked the bottle shut tightly, and pocketed the bottle.
The small flower, so dainty and fragile was not as fragile as he’d once thought.
With five decisive strides, he was by Sakura’s side. The girl looked startled beyond words when he materialized next to her, but embarrassment quickly replaced her surprise. “Itachi-kun!” she gasped, seeing the elder Uchiha brother.
“Sakura,” he acknowledged. His next words, quiet and strong, were a mixture of relief and awe for her: “It’s quite late. I’ll accompany you home?” And then, he extended his hand down towards her.
Never mind the fact that she was well on her way towards becoming one of the most accomplished kunoichi of their generation. Never mind the fact that she was sitting outside his home in the middle of the night. Never mind the fact that she didn’t need him to accompany her home. The only things that mattered in his appearance and words were that he didn’t ask her for a reason or explanation, didn’t expect her to do anything, and had offered her such an act of kindness that she didn’t know what to do with it. His lack of curiosity was comforting, because the last thing she needed was to talk about it. In her state, she didn’t stop to think about the absurdity of the situation.
It was only when he quirked a brow down at her did she realize his hand was still outstretched towards her. With a light blush, she accepted it and sprang to her feet.
“Ah,” she stammered, not quite sure what to do with herself. “Thank you, Itachi-kun. But I’ll be fine getting home on my own, hardly anyone about at this hour and all.” She had half a mind she scratch her head sheepishly.
Nothing changed on his face, but he offered her a shrug and began walking. “It’s no trouble.”
Usually, Sakura would protest more at any hint of weakness, but this time, she let it slide. With a few quick steps, she had caught up to him, and for the first time since she finished that god awful mission, she felt the formations of a smile on her face.
“All right then. Thanks.”
There was no corny hand holding, and no miraculous conversation that made Itachi fall as blindingly in love with her as she found herself with him. In fact there was no touching or conversation at all, only the buzzing of streetlights and the occasional scruffle of their feet.
But it was important to Sakura as many things were, inexplicably. It was no revelation, really, but in these moments, she realized something crucial.
One day, like this, she could forget and forgive, and more importantly, be incandescently happy again.
Characters: Uchiha Itachi & Haruno Sakura
Prompts: 18. dreams & 93. glimpse & 380. found in reality
Word Count: 2443
Rating: K
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
Notes: 7/31 of a mini-series entitled Chiaroscuro. Sequels/Prequels can be found here at CHIAROSCURO. This one is anachronistic with the main storyline. Written for 50_shinobi & lover100 & 500themes.
-
To Sakura, the years in between were little more than blurs on canvas. Between her epiphany and eventual inauguration into the revered ranks of the Jounin folk, six long years had passed, with days, weeks and months often blurring together. Some memories stood out prominently against the rest; bright, bright streaks of anomalies against the otherwise monotonous picture. As a sentimentalist, Sakura tried to cling to them all. Memories, mostly with Naruto, Sasuke and Kakashi; sometimes, but less often, with the rest of the Rookie Nine or even Tsunade and Shizune, were the only things she had left of what she could only call innocence. She knew now that these were the things that had helped her live on, strive through the mess of pain, loss and frankly, more pain.
Amongst those golden memories, there were two that she kept extremely close to her heart, hidden under lock and key. These memories were the ones she guarded with as much ferocity and passion as the Konoha secrets entrusted to her as the Hokage’s apprentice and top medic. This was a secret she kept from all, including the two closest to her heart. It wasn’t as if she kept this secret intentionally - it simply never felt right to announce, and quite frankly, if the two men ever found out about it, Pandora’s box would look like little more than a sunny storm.
* * * * *
YEAR FIFTEEN; of hurdles, obstacles, and setbacks
Sakura wanted nothing more than to cry. It was a comforting thing, crying. Crying was the symbol of her childhood, the very embodiment of her innocence. There was nothing quite like the comfort of relinquishing all the stress of the world, heaving away everything in such simple droplets. It was no wonder then, that Sakura adored the rain. While girls like Ino frowned at that type of weather, muttering about hair, clothes and whatever else, Sakura was most comfortable in a torrential downpour.
On a rainy day, Sakura could revert to the comforts of her childhood, stress-free, without worrying about appearances or labels. On a rainy day, Sakura could just be free, burden-free and genuine to a fault. On a rainy day, Sakura could do all this unnoticed.
Which is why it was no wonder that on that particular stormy day, Sakura was outside, alone in the dense Konoha forests. Naruto was away training, Sasuke was recovering in the hospital, and Kakashi was nowhere to be found. Thus, no one had inquired after her whereabouts with any particular interest, and she had been able to slip away in relative anonymity. Unlike how she lived her life the majority of the time, Sakura did not rush to her destination. There was no need to scurry from place to place, her eyes glued to the clock. So she strolled, leisurely and slowly, towards her favourite clearing.
It was an odd sight to behold, a young girl by civilian standards wandering the streets alone, seemingly senseless and completely drenched. There was however, no one to witness this spectacle, as most had kept to their indoor activities for the day, and even as she disappeared beyond the boundaries of the trees, naught but two souls saw her pass.
At her slow pace, it took her nearly triple the time it would normally take her to reach her spot of serenity. The rain had not relented at all, and not for the first time, she was grateful for the stifling Konoha heat. There was no doubt that she’d be freezing by now without the natural heat aid. Once she arrived, though, another surprise awaited her.
Never in the three years that she’d discovered this small opening had she ever met another soul within it. So she had taken forgranted that it was very much hers. But today, even before she had set food in the clearing, she felt it. Another presence was close, most likely within her spot, and was so relaxed that the person might have been asleep. Tentatively, she stepped into the area, not sure of the person or their intentions, though she was positive that he was a shinobi.
Through the downpour, it was remarkably difficult to see the other side of the small clearing where the other person lay, still unmoving. There was no threatening aura emanating from the person though, and since Sakura was in no mood whatsoever to play detective, she simply plopped down on her side, content to ignore his presence. Under the slight protection of the large elm, Sakura could enjoy the rain on her face without drowning in the water. Like this, all the stressful thoughts from her training dissipated within moments, and before she could count even fifteen sheep in her mind, she had already drifted off into another land.
In her dream, the rain also fell around her in sheets, nearly drowning her, but not. In her dream, there was red, and there was black, all mixed into a torrent of one entity she dreamed of often by the name of Itachi. In her dream, he was close, closer than he’d been to her in years. And in this dream, they were alone, entirely alone, in a way that she was sure could only happen in dreams. It was a remarkably uncreative dream, for they were in the same clearing as the one she occupied currently in reality, and even more uncreative was that Itachi was exactly like the Itachi in reality, quiet, mysterious and an enigma altogether that she couldn’t solve.
In this dream, he was lying next to her on the soaked grass, eyes also shut peacefully in a way she’d have thought impossible for a man so entrenched with the ways of a shinobi, and also, as it seemed, sleeping. It was the most uncreative dream she’d had to date starring Itachi, and by definition, also the most boring. They weren’t doing anything, per say, and they weren’t having the deep soul conversations she so often dreamed of having with the man. And neither was he gazing at her through the rose coloured lenses of a lover.
They were simply there, resting, side by side, with no further interaction.
For reasons unknown to her, Sakura was incandescently happy like never before in this dream.
* * * * *
When Sakura woke an indeterminate amount of time later, she found that the patch of grass next to her had a distinct imprint of a human body, and that the mysterious other occupant of her clearing had disappeared.
* * * * *
YEAR SEVENTEEN; of becoming a women, through and through
Sakura often wondered at the rainy day two years ago. The more thought she gave to the subject, the more convinced she became of its inaccuracy. It had probably been nothing but a product of her wishful imagination after a long week, nothing more than the result of tenacious longing.
Despite her inability to determine its legitimacy, Sakura still cherished the memory. And though she hated to admit it, she was still a naïve sentimentalist at times. Most times. And as such, after that lovely rainy day, she had tried her hardest to visit the little clearing was as much frequency as her life and covertness would allow. But no matter how many times she visited, no matter how she tried to vary the time of day, time of month, time of week, she never encountered another person again. A few times she was even desperate enough to chance a visit when no rain fell over Konoha, but she had returned to civilisation disappointed every time.
And so today, even though the storm of the year raged on around her, Sakura found that she had no energy to brave another visit to the clearing. The spark of hope within her refused to be diffused, which meant that she would only be hit with a wall of disappointment once she arrived at the clearing to find it empty once more.
The rain, though, had been entirely too enticing to ignore, and with her ego, thoughts and mood completely shot to hell, she’d ventured outside without much thought of destination. Eventually she found a deserted place and with no hesitation, settled down against the wall. She looked for all the world like a homeless, sorry girl, but Sakura had not one ounce of care left in her. The spot she’d chosen was odd and altogether creepy, if she had given it any real thought. Sitting in the darkness, at three in the morning on a Wednesday evening, Sakura wondered at the usefulness of her own existence. What on earth was she doing here, outside the Uchiha compound, sulking like a beggar with no belonging?
In reality, Sakura had not known where else to go.
She had no idea where her teammates were. She figured they were probably all on a mission together, but didn’t have the energy to find out. She felt entirely drained of everything, emotionally and physically. The drenched state of her physical self probably did nothing to help the fact, but she was too tired and broken to care.
She was seventeen already, for heaven’s sake. Practically a veteran by shinobi standards, and definitely not of any age where moping about such an ordeal was acceptable. But here she was, sulking within herself at the loss of the last shred of her innocence. Kunoichi mission. When Tsunade had given her this mission, slightly hesitantly, Sakura had been confident of her own ability and mental status.
She’d considered it a rite of passage, almost. And even better was the fact that Ino had yet to have hers. But the experience. What on earth had she been expecting? Just another A-class mission? Aim, shoot and kill?
Sakura shut her eyes at the thought, which helped nothing. The images flowed without restriction through the forefronts of her mind, and when she opened her eyes, she eyed the small bottle dangling precariously between her fingers. It was unopened, clear, and altogether enticing. There was really nothing stopping her from turning to the intoxicating liquid in her hands. Many shinobi in their ranks turned to it. It was nothing to be openly admitted and discussed, of course, but the truth was always plain to see.
With some hesitation, Sakura twisted off the cap of the bottle.
Would it make her a lesser shinobi? A lesser woman? She liked to think not, but perhaps that was only her romanticization of the situation.
With even more hesitation, she brought the bottle to her lips. The smell was overwhelming, triggering her instinct to vomit. Sniffing quite daintily, she set the bottle back down on the cement. Then, she came to her senses. Alcohol. Really? she thought, mentally berating herself. You’re better than that, idiot.
And that was how he found her.
There was nothing in his sophisticated mind that could vocalize the irony he felt when he caught sight of Sakura, sitting so dejectedly on the floor. It was the same road where they’d first encountered each other, all those years ago. But here he was, sober eight years now, ever since that significantly insignificant bundle of flowers. Yet here she was, about to turn down the same road. It didn’t take a critical mind or eye to see that she’d just crossed yet another invisible shinobi line of no return. She was so out of it that she didn’t even notice Itachi. To be completely fair, he was still somewhat further down the road, and it was nearly pitch black outside…
In an impromptu decision, Itachi decided to stay still and watch.
It was fascinating, he decided later, watching her decision process. It was with disappointment that he couldn’t explain when he watched her pick up the solitary bottle, and with suspended animation when he watched her eyeing the bottle precariously. And finally, it was with silent respect when he watched, through Sharingan activated eyes, the resolve fill into her own orbs as she corked the bottle shut tightly, and pocketed the bottle.
The small flower, so dainty and fragile was not as fragile as he’d once thought.
With five decisive strides, he was by Sakura’s side. The girl looked startled beyond words when he materialized next to her, but embarrassment quickly replaced her surprise. “Itachi-kun!” she gasped, seeing the elder Uchiha brother.
“Sakura,” he acknowledged. His next words, quiet and strong, were a mixture of relief and awe for her: “It’s quite late. I’ll accompany you home?” And then, he extended his hand down towards her.
Never mind the fact that she was well on her way towards becoming one of the most accomplished kunoichi of their generation. Never mind the fact that she was sitting outside his home in the middle of the night. Never mind the fact that she didn’t need him to accompany her home. The only things that mattered in his appearance and words were that he didn’t ask her for a reason or explanation, didn’t expect her to do anything, and had offered her such an act of kindness that she didn’t know what to do with it. His lack of curiosity was comforting, because the last thing she needed was to talk about it. In her state, she didn’t stop to think about the absurdity of the situation.
It was only when he quirked a brow down at her did she realize his hand was still outstretched towards her. With a light blush, she accepted it and sprang to her feet.
“Ah,” she stammered, not quite sure what to do with herself. “Thank you, Itachi-kun. But I’ll be fine getting home on my own, hardly anyone about at this hour and all.” She had half a mind she scratch her head sheepishly.
Nothing changed on his face, but he offered her a shrug and began walking. “It’s no trouble.”
Usually, Sakura would protest more at any hint of weakness, but this time, she let it slide. With a few quick steps, she had caught up to him, and for the first time since she finished that god awful mission, she felt the formations of a smile on her face.
“All right then. Thanks.”
There was no corny hand holding, and no miraculous conversation that made Itachi fall as blindingly in love with her as she found herself with him. In fact there was no touching or conversation at all, only the buzzing of streetlights and the occasional scruffle of their feet.
But it was important to Sakura as many things were, inexplicably. It was no revelation, really, but in these moments, she realized something crucial.
One day, like this, she could forget and forgive, and more importantly, be incandescently happy again.