Email to Jason
I've hit my breaking point and some may find this a harsh email, but is what I needed to say and get out. There is a LONG history to my brother and it may seem worse then it really is.
Jay,
I've kept my mouth shut for a year or more at this point and honestly I can't anymore. I heard you're in therapy for a slew of reasons so I really hope you print this out and bring it with you to a session for a lot of speaking points. After years of my own therapy I know how helpful this kind of thing can be. To my benefit I own up to all my issues and deal with them head on myself, but it seems you still can't face reality on your own. I really hope this helps you get to a much heathier place.
For the last two or more years I've sat back and watched and consolded your children as you've tried to jump in and out of there lives or to forget about them completely till it was convient. I know you think the emails you get from Abby are all from Paula, but you have no idea how wrong you are. They are not small children who think what they are told to think. They are people, people who are smart and form there own opinions in life and are allowed and encouraged to think for themselves. You don't know those kids anymore and have lost them. You are no longer there Dad/Father. You are nothing more than a sperm donor. They have shed a many tear over you and the fact you has tossed them to the wayside. Greg has stepped in and held your children while they cry and tried to explain why You are doing what you do. My phone rings often to just talk with me and if I can help calm them down. I have watched while you have treated the magical gift of your children like pieces of trash. I stopped talking to you because you have become the one thing I hate the most in this world. Dad. No one made you him, you did that all on your own. How as a father can you justify acknowledging your daughters birthday and then not your sons?? You did this for two years. Wanna know I how I know?? Spencer called me in tears because he can't understand what he did wrong for you to not even acknowledge him on his birthday, yet Jolene made a point one year of sending her a gift. Did you think he wouldn't notice?
It seems you hate the fact I still see the kids and they are allowed to come see me. I've never stopped working to see those children. They are as big a part of my life as I am theres. That has never and could never change. You made a decision when you first started living with Jolene to not allow the children to see me while they were in town. Wait - I forgot I could only if I included her son. When I tried to talk to you about this you said it was how it needed to be because Payton wouldn't understand. You know what, he isn't my family and Jolene being his parent should have explained why the kids were going to spend a few hours with me. You used to be all for us sharing visits with the kids, but for some reason that all ended out of now where. I seriously resented that. Now, I work with Paula and Greg to keep them in my life. I've never seen the kids so happy as they are right now. They have a mother who loves them and a father who loves them. They spend time together, they have role models who teach them how to become good people. Those children are the happiest when you leave that family alone.
I know Jolene and few others I'm sure told you I moved from the state. I have not seen the kids as of yet, but you can be sure I will be. If I'm lucky I will get them for some time this summer. I love those kids more than anything else. You can point out as you've done in that past that I'm not there mother, I'm well aware of that, but I'm one hell of an Aunt and I've never waived on that or in there lives. You've made some terrible choices and you are going to regret it the rest of your life.
I've also heard that you're in therapy as you work out some concerns about your sexual identiy. That is a tough thing to face should it be true and I do hope you figure out what is best for you. Everyone deserves to be comfortable with who they are. I just really hope this is not another ploy to get sympathy from anyone who will listen. Pissed I think that? Well Jay you do have a track record of little stunts like that. It's hard for anyone who still talks with you to take you seriously.
Then there is the topic of you being in a Domestic Violance situation. I'll admit I laughed when I heard it. Why?? Cause again you love to say crap to get attention and it's really hard to fully believe you on this as well. However, Jolene is a bitch and I could see her slapping you around. With the honesty out of the way, should this really be true you have choices. They have shelters for men who are abused. It is not so uncommon and they will help you. Reach out to Kelly since it is her field of work these days. Maybe she could help you, if your not going for attenetion. I guess I'm just really past the point of being a good sister and just being one who doesn't admit she has a brother.
My final topic is you blaming Paula for me and mom not talking to you. HA HA HA....that is just so stupid it's funny. This situation is all your own doing and not anyone elses. This is a really good topic for you to cover in therapy. They will be all over this. You only wanted to deal with me and mom if we could offer you something or if we did the work to keep a realtionship going. When you started with the migraine a year or more ago I was concerned. I called and even talked to Jolene who I can't stand just to know how you were. I got sick of the unreturned phone calls or even a quick email. I gave up trying because life on any level is not one sided. I can respect you may have been ill and communication was tough, but you were getting in touch with others during this time, so I guess I couldn't understand the lack of response with me. I gave up and said Fuck it! I lost respect for you over the last several years. It seems you given up on yourself. You forgot you had children and just used Payton as a substitute. You chose Jolene over your family (which you've done with several other girlfriends as well, so she is in good company of your bad choices), and now you're only working so you don't end up in jail for all the back child support you owe. You're not the kind of person I want to know. I made the decision to walk away because you're not a good person. I thought you were changing for a while and I was willing to help any way I could, but in the end it was just another one of the Jay shows you've put on over the years.
All you have left is Jolene and her family. Nothing else. You've no family of your own left because none of us want to know you or even admit we are related. It's an amazingly sad turn of events if you ask me. My family is me and mom and then the Maine gang. Although I've been lucky enough to have an amazing family her in NC as well. I've worked for all this Jay. I've worked really hard for what and who I have in my life. Nothing was ever been handed to me and when I made bad decisions I faced them and dealt with it, making sure I didn't repeat it again. Therapy has been mine and even mom's saving grace. I reallly hope you're finding yours in therapy.
While facing things head on, seriously sit back and think of what benefit you are bringing those children after all this time. You're not, they hurt everytime you try and come back into there lives. Think of how you felt everytime Daddy did the here I am and now I'm gone routine. It fucking sucked and it fucked with our heads. We were the happiest when he just went away and let us live our lives. Do the same thing for your cildren and save them this pain. Let them make the decision in a few years when they are able to see things from a different angle. I'm sure it sucks that most of your paycheck is being forked over, but that is what happens in divorces and your decisions after that point have brought you to where you are today.
Respond or don't, I really could careless, but as you go on trying to do what ever it is your trying to do, leave me out of it. I'm not a tool for you to toss around because Paula won't let those children see you. I've never had anything to do with that and I never will. I hope you've enough human nature and common sense in you to make the right decisions for once.
Sarah
Jay,
I've kept my mouth shut for a year or more at this point and honestly I can't anymore. I heard you're in therapy for a slew of reasons so I really hope you print this out and bring it with you to a session for a lot of speaking points. After years of my own therapy I know how helpful this kind of thing can be. To my benefit I own up to all my issues and deal with them head on myself, but it seems you still can't face reality on your own. I really hope this helps you get to a much heathier place.
For the last two or more years I've sat back and watched and consolded your children as you've tried to jump in and out of there lives or to forget about them completely till it was convient. I know you think the emails you get from Abby are all from Paula, but you have no idea how wrong you are. They are not small children who think what they are told to think. They are people, people who are smart and form there own opinions in life and are allowed and encouraged to think for themselves. You don't know those kids anymore and have lost them. You are no longer there Dad/Father. You are nothing more than a sperm donor. They have shed a many tear over you and the fact you has tossed them to the wayside. Greg has stepped in and held your children while they cry and tried to explain why You are doing what you do. My phone rings often to just talk with me and if I can help calm them down. I have watched while you have treated the magical gift of your children like pieces of trash. I stopped talking to you because you have become the one thing I hate the most in this world. Dad. No one made you him, you did that all on your own. How as a father can you justify acknowledging your daughters birthday and then not your sons?? You did this for two years. Wanna know I how I know?? Spencer called me in tears because he can't understand what he did wrong for you to not even acknowledge him on his birthday, yet Jolene made a point one year of sending her a gift. Did you think he wouldn't notice?
It seems you hate the fact I still see the kids and they are allowed to come see me. I've never stopped working to see those children. They are as big a part of my life as I am theres. That has never and could never change. You made a decision when you first started living with Jolene to not allow the children to see me while they were in town. Wait - I forgot I could only if I included her son. When I tried to talk to you about this you said it was how it needed to be because Payton wouldn't understand. You know what, he isn't my family and Jolene being his parent should have explained why the kids were going to spend a few hours with me. You used to be all for us sharing visits with the kids, but for some reason that all ended out of now where. I seriously resented that. Now, I work with Paula and Greg to keep them in my life. I've never seen the kids so happy as they are right now. They have a mother who loves them and a father who loves them. They spend time together, they have role models who teach them how to become good people. Those children are the happiest when you leave that family alone.
I know Jolene and few others I'm sure told you I moved from the state. I have not seen the kids as of yet, but you can be sure I will be. If I'm lucky I will get them for some time this summer. I love those kids more than anything else. You can point out as you've done in that past that I'm not there mother, I'm well aware of that, but I'm one hell of an Aunt and I've never waived on that or in there lives. You've made some terrible choices and you are going to regret it the rest of your life.
I've also heard that you're in therapy as you work out some concerns about your sexual identiy. That is a tough thing to face should it be true and I do hope you figure out what is best for you. Everyone deserves to be comfortable with who they are. I just really hope this is not another ploy to get sympathy from anyone who will listen. Pissed I think that? Well Jay you do have a track record of little stunts like that. It's hard for anyone who still talks with you to take you seriously.
Then there is the topic of you being in a Domestic Violance situation. I'll admit I laughed when I heard it. Why?? Cause again you love to say crap to get attention and it's really hard to fully believe you on this as well. However, Jolene is a bitch and I could see her slapping you around. With the honesty out of the way, should this really be true you have choices. They have shelters for men who are abused. It is not so uncommon and they will help you. Reach out to Kelly since it is her field of work these days. Maybe she could help you, if your not going for attenetion. I guess I'm just really past the point of being a good sister and just being one who doesn't admit she has a brother.
My final topic is you blaming Paula for me and mom not talking to you. HA HA HA....that is just so stupid it's funny. This situation is all your own doing and not anyone elses. This is a really good topic for you to cover in therapy. They will be all over this. You only wanted to deal with me and mom if we could offer you something or if we did the work to keep a realtionship going. When you started with the migraine a year or more ago I was concerned. I called and even talked to Jolene who I can't stand just to know how you were. I got sick of the unreturned phone calls or even a quick email. I gave up trying because life on any level is not one sided. I can respect you may have been ill and communication was tough, but you were getting in touch with others during this time, so I guess I couldn't understand the lack of response with me. I gave up and said Fuck it! I lost respect for you over the last several years. It seems you given up on yourself. You forgot you had children and just used Payton as a substitute. You chose Jolene over your family (which you've done with several other girlfriends as well, so she is in good company of your bad choices), and now you're only working so you don't end up in jail for all the back child support you owe. You're not the kind of person I want to know. I made the decision to walk away because you're not a good person. I thought you were changing for a while and I was willing to help any way I could, but in the end it was just another one of the Jay shows you've put on over the years.
All you have left is Jolene and her family. Nothing else. You've no family of your own left because none of us want to know you or even admit we are related. It's an amazingly sad turn of events if you ask me. My family is me and mom and then the Maine gang. Although I've been lucky enough to have an amazing family her in NC as well. I've worked for all this Jay. I've worked really hard for what and who I have in my life. Nothing was ever been handed to me and when I made bad decisions I faced them and dealt with it, making sure I didn't repeat it again. Therapy has been mine and even mom's saving grace. I reallly hope you're finding yours in therapy.
While facing things head on, seriously sit back and think of what benefit you are bringing those children after all this time. You're not, they hurt everytime you try and come back into there lives. Think of how you felt everytime Daddy did the here I am and now I'm gone routine. It fucking sucked and it fucked with our heads. We were the happiest when he just went away and let us live our lives. Do the same thing for your cildren and save them this pain. Let them make the decision in a few years when they are able to see things from a different angle. I'm sure it sucks that most of your paycheck is being forked over, but that is what happens in divorces and your decisions after that point have brought you to where you are today.
Respond or don't, I really could careless, but as you go on trying to do what ever it is your trying to do, leave me out of it. I'm not a tool for you to toss around because Paula won't let those children see you. I've never had anything to do with that and I never will. I hope you've enough human nature and common sense in you to make the right decisions for once.
Sarah