So I'm here, on a whim. Life is life and it's crazy and I only remember some people's usernames for sure and I bet none of you are even here anymore anyway but... I'm here
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Firstly, have an e-hug. Secondly, welcome back, whim or not. I do the same thing in coming back here every now and again, and sometimes someone is here, sometimes someone isn't. And sometimes photobucket wrecks all your shit. [Why no I didn't just spend an hour and a half reuploading journal graphics so I stop looking like a scrub....]
I'm sorry to hear about your dad, and also sad to hear adulthood hit you kind of hard. I'm still in that phase where it's trying to slap me, but it's not hitting me the way it should, and I'm probably ashamed of myself for that because I still feel very childish at the end of the day.
I'm always thinking of you. The things we had, the times we had back then, it all feels very far away now. I find myself smiling at the thoughts, though, and I'm glad for the memories because they give us something to hang on to when everything else is slipping.
I think I'm holding out hope that others also randomly take a look back, even those it seems most I remember were abandoned for good by 2012. Sigh. But also... Would they even care? Old internet friends are a dime a dozen, right? IDK. Yeah, screw photobucket.
It was... Not good at the time, and it's still not great these days. I sometimes have to tell Mike to just... Talk about something else, something stupid, because we'll accidentally have wandered into memory territory and I can't handle it. But that's how I am with grief. It's all good until it isn't. The main(ish) thing about growing up for me I think was that... I didn't have a real plan, and I still don't, and while my life is working out, I still feel like I've failed to do so many things? Especially with a baby. I mean christ. I always have to factor him into things now, and it can be frustrating.
Some of the time it feels like it was lifetimes ago, and other times like it was yesterday and... I don't know which is worse? Or if either is bad, per se. I just... miss things
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I'm not in contact with most of them either. I run into Pez from time to time, more a crazy random happenstance than anything, but the only one I could pick up a phone or email and really get ahold of besides you is Novion. Those were all RL friends though; I still have some of the same online friends from back then, because those relationships don't change much, though I gained and lost a few pen pals along the way
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Funnily enough, I realised Pez was in Atlanta at the same time I was. But only after I left. So... that was odd. I have facebook, so the IRL peeps are mostly covered in terms of being able to reach out to them. Obvs not ones like you, that didn't move there, or ones that since abandoned that platform too but, and this might sound weird, but it's the online ones I've missed the most lately? I think because awkward as I am, being online was always freeing, and so much easier to find people into all the same things. Meeting real people is all about not giving away your intense love of Stargate until you die, or something.
I've made mum friends though, so that's been nice. I don't know if I have that much in common with any of them beyond parenthood, but I def. like them, so it's something. I just need to... not have a broken tailbone, so I'll feel better about being away from the house and can do things with them.
Oh, no worries. Get better, focus on you. <3
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Comments 4
I'm sorry to hear about your dad, and also sad to hear adulthood hit you kind of hard. I'm still in that phase where it's trying to slap me, but it's not hitting me the way it should, and I'm probably ashamed of myself for that because I still feel very childish at the end of the day.
I'm always thinking of you. The things we had, the times we had back then, it all feels very far away now. I find myself smiling at the thoughts, though, and I'm glad for the memories because they give us something to hang on to when everything else is slipping.
I'd like to hear your story, when you have time.
Reply
It was... Not good at the time, and it's still not great these days. I sometimes have to tell Mike to just... Talk about something else, something stupid, because we'll accidentally have wandered into memory territory and I can't handle it. But that's how I am with grief. It's all good until it isn't. The main(ish) thing about growing up for me I think was that... I didn't have a real plan, and I still don't, and while my life is working out, I still feel like I've failed to do so many things? Especially with a baby. I mean christ. I always have to factor him into things now, and it can be frustrating.
Some of the time it feels like it was lifetimes ago, and other times like it was yesterday and... I don't know which is worse? Or if either is bad, per se. I just... miss things ( ... )
Reply
Reply
I've made mum friends though, so that's been nice. I don't know if I have that much in common with any of them beyond parenthood, but I def. like them, so it's something. I just need to... not have a broken tailbone, so I'll feel better about being away from the house and can do things with them.
Oh, no worries. Get better, focus on you. <3 ( ... )
Reply
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