[Tiny Drabble] Craving

[sunflower1343]

Title: Craving
Pairing: Asami and Akihito
Rating: R
Warnings/Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: They belong to Sensei

Note: I posted this at YA comm to encourage people to try a one page drabble for the fanbook we're doing there.

Comments

[photoash]

very nice :) I always enjoy your writing! :)

[sunflower1343]

Thanks. :) Hopefully I'll be writing more sometime soon.

[moonraven_croft]

That was intense! Short but fully loaded. ^__^ Heh, that sounds a bit like Takaba, no?

The tension was building from the moment he steps into the club - you did that so well - and the climax *coughs* (no puns intended - honest) was truly beautiful.

Four thumbs up!

[sunflower1343]

LOL! Yeah that's Takaba all right. Yay you liked how I built tension! That was something I worked on hardest, the flow of it so it would be a zippy little thing. :) Thanks!

[piggyhoho]

Am I the only one who thought this was kind of abstract? Or is my English just bad? (don't ask what am I on)

But I do agree that after NT18, their relationship would some what even out. XD Instead of just Asami taking what he wants, Aki would now in turn ask for something himself. (whether he'd get it or not that's probably not up to him XD though I'd say most of the time Asami would listen, at least after NT18 I think he would)

Are you putting this in the fanbook? XD (seeing your two posts together, here and in YA, I suddenly realized how similar the two kiss avators are Owo;)

[sunflower1343]

I'm not sure about your English ;P, but abstract how? It points to Akihito in the first paragraph, and then is basically describing his sensations before and after a hunt for Asami. It's not a plot-driven story, as one page gives you no room for one. A single page is best left to a mood piece, an atmospheric encounter, and that's what I tried to write.

Though too, I used longer, more complex sentences in this that might not be easy on someone reading this as a second language. Which is another reason I'm not including it. The first reason is that I'm creating the fanbook and don't think it would be fair to stick my story into it when there are limited spaces.

[piggyhoho]

*rise hand as ESL person Owo

[sunflower1343]

Yeah it all happens in the space of a few moments in Asami's nightclub.

I hope to write more post-NT AxA. I just have to get used to thinking of them this way, and make sure what I'm writing is what Sensei gave us, and not what I'd like to see. To me, the closest I can imagine Asami right now is how I wrote him in Therapy, which really blows my mind.

Others have said since fics are being chosen by vote there would be nothing wrong with submitting it. I'll consider it. Though if we only get 5 fics I'll include it just to pad things lol.

[sunflower1343]

I hadn't thought of it that way. I'll consider it. But really, it's seeming like we won't get 15 entries in which case I'd put myself in as filler LOL.

[sunflower1343]

Seriously we need a oneshot from Sensei where Aki jumps Asami's bones. XDDD