Thinking about myself…

[sunkissedbrwn20]

I am starting to believe that I am honestly afraid to be happy.(im content but not joyfully going through life) My life is good…. I am where I need to be.. I am in a place of opportunity. I am learning new things. I go new places..I am entertained. I have met the man of my dreams.. I love him. But, I am always looking for something to worry about

Comments

[sunkissedbrwn20]

Its really not about Gabe.. Im out of my comfort zone in all areas.. im 5 hours from home, im on my own, I have dreams greater than this.. ive been working for them for so long and I know they are near its just taking so much time and I don't want to be discontent as the time passes by. Im finally on my own and able to do the things I want to do.Without a fight.. I have fought all my life.. with my dad.. with people who try to detour me. I am finally at a point where I'm not going through the worst days of my life.. Im not sick.. im not in the hospital, I can breathe, no ones dieing, im not planning anyones funeral, im not grieving, Im not hurting, all I have right now it to adjust to being happy. Being on my own.. being able to do what I want to when I want to without having to give a speech as to why I want to do it. Yes, I have more responsibilities now but that just comes with it. My life has been hard and im finally at a place where I can relax without being attacked and having to defend myself and I can be who I am truly and

[sunkissedbrwn20]

You are fine.. Im just explaining to you what I mean. Ive always had to struggle..fight to get anywhere.. things are good for me now. I don't have to be overly paranoid or looking for the bad days. I can look at my life and the position that i am in now and be happy. This is new... And no you are fine.. You are just looking out for me.. and I appreciate it.. I do. Love ya.. (you are being a good friend) and stop backing down! LOL If you say it you believe it and you don't change your mind! ~ Kissed