Writer's Block: Merry Christmas

[sunkissedgirly]

The best present I received this year was Nicholas. He's getting ready to redeploy and has been away at training with his unit since the beginning of November. He wasn't able to come home for Thanksgiving, so although it really upset me, I wasn't too surprised when he said he wasn't going to be able to leave for Christmas. I made sure to mail his

Comments

[yamapi_luver4]

aww!!! so sweet!!! :D
sounds like you got yourself a keeper!!! <3

[sunkissedgirly]

Thanks! I think I'll hold onto him for a while :)

[riding_wildfire]

It made me so happy to read this. And wistful about how fractured my family is. And jealous, and sad, yet hopeful that maybe some day I can have a romantic relationship where we're both that into each other. So glad to hear you're well; it's been so long since you updated! What have you been up to?

[sunkissedgirly]

I'm a firm believer that there's someone out there for everyone. I know you'll have that can't eat, can't sleep, reach for the stars, over the fence world series kind of love. (It Takes Two circa 1995 quote there!)

I'm officially the worst."blogger".EVER. I think I've averaged about 3 posts over the past 2 years. Shame. Nothing real exciting in my life - school, and a lot of work. How the heck are you?

[riding_wildfire]

:) It Takes Two

In some respects I kick so much ass I even amaze myself; as my Dad so kindly puts it, "How can you be so talented and not be doing anything productive with your life yet?" And the rest of the time I pretty much fail at life cuz I suck at everything. Single again, by my choice. Broke up with the nicest guy I've ever dated cuz the relationship had zero potential to go anywhere. Sucking at a menial job cuz I wasn't good enough to be a jockey. Brought another horse home from the track last spring. And that's pretty much it.

[sunkissedgirly]

Also, I had a hard time letting go of my gymnastics career and accepting that it was over. Someone finally told me that I had accomplished things that only a handful of people had, and that's something that could never be taken away. (it sounded more profound than the way I just worded it) Lots of people ride horses, show and jump horses, but I feel to say you are a jockey - that you raced thoroughbreds - that separates you and is something not many people can say theyve done. Reading that is what made me intrigued with you initially - so badass.

Do you have plans for your new(er?) horse? I've always wanted a horse off the track as a project horse. I don't have time, so I've settled with wanting to rescue a couple of horses that can't be ridden anymore and pamper them and let them live out their days in luxury at my (future) house.

[sunkissedgirly]

At least you were able to recognize the path (or lack thereof) your relationship was heading, and wasn't staying put for the sake of being in a relationship. Nick has been deployed for at least over 60% of the time we've been "together". Don't get me wrong, I'm head over heels for the guy, but every time we begin to have the opportunity to grow as a couple, he's shipped out. So we spend our physical time together is this false honeymoon state. We're almost 3 years into this thing so to back out now, for me at least, is a big thing. But it's frustrating - as my friends are getting engaged, married, and having kids, the questions of when will it be me are a constant. People hear we've been together 3 years and so it's the logical question, I understand. But, if Nick were to ask me to marry him tomorrow I would say no. He knows this, but doesn't understand it or agree with it. If it were up to him we would be married or at least engaged. It's a huge point of contention for us. I swore I'd never let a guy hold me back or influence who I

[riding_wildfire]

The guy I broke up with is in the Army Reserves. Just comissioned for the 6-year officer program and also finishing college. So even though he's not deployed we're always too busy to see each other. But even if that weren't an issue my problem extended to us having nothing in common beyond hiking, which in the winter basically translates to friends-with-benefits which I'm not into, and not being on remotely the same track in life. No chance for a future together that would satisfy either one of us no matter how much we like each other or how well we get along. Was to the point of loving him without being in love with him, cliche as that sounds.

[sunkissedgirly]

Love can be so complicated. I wish things ended happily ever after like in the movies, especially Disney. Also, there's something so sexy about a man in uniform. Too bad that uniform makes them busy and takes them over seas.

[riding_wildfire]

I largely blame Disney for a lot of the idiotic ideas girls have about men and relationships that make us so easy to take advantage of til we're like, 24.