Convulsions (2/2)
Title: Convulsions (part 2 of 2)
Genre: AU, romance, angst
Pairing: Sehun/Luhan
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Sehun can't bear to see Luhan hurting anymore.
A/N: Because there are enough fluffy, perfect, painless smut fics out there, but, in reality, it isn't always a walk in the park.
Seven days later, and Sehun still hadn't come home.
Luhan cried himself to sleep every single one of those days.
-
On the third day after Sehun had left, he finally decided to respond to Yixing's myriad of distressed voicemails mainly for the reason that he hadn't eaten for three days and didn't have either the strength or the will to go out to buy food.
Yixing picked up after the second ring.
"Luhan? Luhan ge?? Is that you?"
"Of course it's me," he managed to croak out, voice cracking from disuse.
"Are you okay? Are you sick?? Do you want me to come ove--"
"Bring me food," Luhan interjected. He wanted to skip the formalities and just get to the point. He was famished. He needed food.
So Yixing had arrived carrying bags of coffee, fruit, vegetables, and rice. Luhan watched from the couch, still sniffling, as Yixing chopped up some carrots and potatoes.
He fell asleep curled up on the couch under a thick blanket, with Yixing rubbing circles into his back and a stomach full of fried rice, that night.
-
On the fifth day after Sehun had left, Luhan woke up to the realization that he would have to return to work because the next month's rent for the apartment was due soon.
Their apartment.
His new mantra was, "He'll come back."
He repeated this simple sentence over and over again as he lugged his heavy limbs out of bed, looking back at the twisted sheets and crumpled blankets.
Everything still smelled like Sehun.
Suddenly, the room was spinning, and he ran towards the bathroom where he wretched into the toilet.
"I miss you, come back." Luhan couldn't stop the tears from falling into the toilet, mixing with his vomit.
-
On the seventh day after Sehun had left, Luhan was buttoning up his dress shirt and picking out a tie.
His mantra had changed to, "Please come back."
He chose one of Sehun's ties to wear. It was black with small star patterns on it.
It looked better on him, Luhan thought, staring blankly at his reflection in the mirror.
Kris welcomed him at the office with a nod, saying, "It's good to see you again, Han."
-
When Luhan came home after work that evening, it was nine o'clock. He couldn't bear the thought of coming home to an empty house, devoid of the smells of Sehun's barely passable cooking, Sehun's laughter, the sounds of Sehun typing on his laptop, so he stayed extra late at work, choosing instead to catch up on everything that he had missed in the past seven days.
He was shocked to see the lights on in the living room.
A preliminary examination of the room from the doorway showed signs of chaos. The furniture was in a disarray, and books were strewn all over the floor. Luhan saw a similar sight in the kitchen where some wine glasses had been thrown to the floor and shattered.
"Sehun?" Luhan called out from the kitchen. He heard no response.
"...Yixing?" Still no response.
He slowly walked into the bedroom and saw that the closet was open. There was clothing strewn across the floor, and a suitcase was missing. Sehun's laptop was also missing.
Luhan carefully sat on the edge of the bed and tried to take deep breaths. It was no use. His throat began to constrict violently, and he clawed at his neck, struggling to undo his necktie and unbutton his shirt. Hot streams poured down his cheeks as he raced towards the bathroom and began to dry heave into the toilet.
From his position on the cold tiles, he dialed Yixing's number. It took several tries because his touchscreen phone refused to cooperate with his trembling fingers, but, finally, Yixing picked up, answering with a "Yes, ge? Do you need more food?"
"Help me," Luhan choked out. "I'm at home. Help me."
"I'll be right there."
-
Luhan had made it to the bedroom by the time Yixing had arrived.
He was laying on the floor on top of the wrinkled clothing, and Yixing just settled down next to him and pulled his motionless body closer.
"Shh, it's going to be okay, ge." Luhan could feel his best friend's soft breathing on the back of his neck. It calmed him down some, but it wasn't enough to stall his tears.
-
Several days later, Luhan had been deemed well enough to go outside by Yixing, who took him out for some fresh air. He went along with it, not because he actually felt well enough to go outside, but because Yixing had been practically living at his apartment for the past few days, and he felt like it was the least he could do to repay his friend.
"Luhan, please at least make an effort to dress decently," Yixing chided from across the room.
Luhan looked at his sorry appearance. The dark circles were too prominent and the bags under his eyes were too puffy. His eyes were still red from almost two weeks of crying, and his complexion was ashen.
As he pulled on a random t-shirt, one of Sehun's, he noted that the essence of its previous owner had long since disappeared.
It took every ounce of his willpower not to collapse right then and there.
-
Luhan got off the elevator, fingering the small rabbit keychain that Yixing had bought him when they were out earlier, and walked towards his apartment door. It reminded him of his supportive best friend and had kept him company on the bus ride home since Yixing had previous arrangements to attend.
He pushed the key into the lock, only to find that the door was unlocked.
Instinctually, he grasped around in his pocket for his cellphone just incase he needed to call for help. The memories of several nights prior flooded back, and Luhan held staggered against the wall as he opened the door and walked in.
I can do this, he thought to himself, pushing his keys firmly in the spaces between his fingers. I'm not scared.
But nothing could have prepared him for what was waiting in the living room.
"…Sehun?"
-
Sehun looked up at Luhan, tears trickling out of eyes rimmed with red.
"Luhan…"
He looked down at one of the many pictures of himself and Luhan that he was surrounded with, swiping a finger across a glossy print where they were both smiling brightly.
"Sehun?" The subject of the picture repeated, voice hoarse.
Propping himself with one hand on the ground, Sehun lifted himself up and took a step towards Luhan.
He held out his arms. "Come here… Come to me…"
-
Luhan didn't move.
He couldn't move.
All he could do was clutch at his chest and try not to gag as he supported himself on the wall.
He was sure that this was all an illusion brought on by a severe lack of sleep and nutrition, but he could see Sehun's face scrunch up in confusion and suddenly felt the urge to reach out.
As soon as he let go of the wall, Luhan fell onto the hard, wooden floor, just a mess of bones barely held together by a thin layer of taut skin.
-
Sehun immediately ran over to where Luhan had fallen, pulling the limp body up into his lap, cupping the face with his hands, and tracing the bags under Luhan's eyes with his fingertips.
He leaned down and whispered into the dazed boy's ear, "Let me help you."
Luhan looked up at him, eyelids fluttering. "But.."
"I want this," Sehun murmured, kissing Luhan's protests away.
-
Luhan pressed feverish kisses to Sehun's neck as the latter carried him into the bedroom, desperate to keep contact with the warm body that was holding him.
"Let's try this again," Sehun breathed, breath hot against the shell of his ear.
And Luhan saw stars again, just like the ones on Sehun's tie, eyes blurry with tears, Sehun's face barely registering in his brain as he came.
Except, this time, he cried because everything was just right.
Genre: AU, romance, angst
Pairing: Sehun/Luhan
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Sehun can't bear to see Luhan hurting anymore.
A/N: Because there are enough fluffy, perfect, painless smut fics out there, but, in reality, it isn't always a walk in the park.
Seven days later, and Sehun still hadn't come home.
Luhan cried himself to sleep every single one of those days.
-
On the third day after Sehun had left, he finally decided to respond to Yixing's myriad of distressed voicemails mainly for the reason that he hadn't eaten for three days and didn't have either the strength or the will to go out to buy food.
Yixing picked up after the second ring.
"Luhan? Luhan ge?? Is that you?"
"Of course it's me," he managed to croak out, voice cracking from disuse.
"Are you okay? Are you sick?? Do you want me to come ove--"
"Bring me food," Luhan interjected. He wanted to skip the formalities and just get to the point. He was famished. He needed food.
So Yixing had arrived carrying bags of coffee, fruit, vegetables, and rice. Luhan watched from the couch, still sniffling, as Yixing chopped up some carrots and potatoes.
He fell asleep curled up on the couch under a thick blanket, with Yixing rubbing circles into his back and a stomach full of fried rice, that night.
-
On the fifth day after Sehun had left, Luhan woke up to the realization that he would have to return to work because the next month's rent for the apartment was due soon.
Their apartment.
His new mantra was, "He'll come back."
He repeated this simple sentence over and over again as he lugged his heavy limbs out of bed, looking back at the twisted sheets and crumpled blankets.
Everything still smelled like Sehun.
Suddenly, the room was spinning, and he ran towards the bathroom where he wretched into the toilet.
"I miss you, come back." Luhan couldn't stop the tears from falling into the toilet, mixing with his vomit.
-
On the seventh day after Sehun had left, Luhan was buttoning up his dress shirt and picking out a tie.
His mantra had changed to, "Please come back."
He chose one of Sehun's ties to wear. It was black with small star patterns on it.
It looked better on him, Luhan thought, staring blankly at his reflection in the mirror.
Kris welcomed him at the office with a nod, saying, "It's good to see you again, Han."
-
When Luhan came home after work that evening, it was nine o'clock. He couldn't bear the thought of coming home to an empty house, devoid of the smells of Sehun's barely passable cooking, Sehun's laughter, the sounds of Sehun typing on his laptop, so he stayed extra late at work, choosing instead to catch up on everything that he had missed in the past seven days.
He was shocked to see the lights on in the living room.
A preliminary examination of the room from the doorway showed signs of chaos. The furniture was in a disarray, and books were strewn all over the floor. Luhan saw a similar sight in the kitchen where some wine glasses had been thrown to the floor and shattered.
"Sehun?" Luhan called out from the kitchen. He heard no response.
"...Yixing?" Still no response.
He slowly walked into the bedroom and saw that the closet was open. There was clothing strewn across the floor, and a suitcase was missing. Sehun's laptop was also missing.
Luhan carefully sat on the edge of the bed and tried to take deep breaths. It was no use. His throat began to constrict violently, and he clawed at his neck, struggling to undo his necktie and unbutton his shirt. Hot streams poured down his cheeks as he raced towards the bathroom and began to dry heave into the toilet.
From his position on the cold tiles, he dialed Yixing's number. It took several tries because his touchscreen phone refused to cooperate with his trembling fingers, but, finally, Yixing picked up, answering with a "Yes, ge? Do you need more food?"
"Help me," Luhan choked out. "I'm at home. Help me."
"I'll be right there."
-
Luhan had made it to the bedroom by the time Yixing had arrived.
He was laying on the floor on top of the wrinkled clothing, and Yixing just settled down next to him and pulled his motionless body closer.
"Shh, it's going to be okay, ge." Luhan could feel his best friend's soft breathing on the back of his neck. It calmed him down some, but it wasn't enough to stall his tears.
-
Several days later, Luhan had been deemed well enough to go outside by Yixing, who took him out for some fresh air. He went along with it, not because he actually felt well enough to go outside, but because Yixing had been practically living at his apartment for the past few days, and he felt like it was the least he could do to repay his friend.
"Luhan, please at least make an effort to dress decently," Yixing chided from across the room.
Luhan looked at his sorry appearance. The dark circles were too prominent and the bags under his eyes were too puffy. His eyes were still red from almost two weeks of crying, and his complexion was ashen.
As he pulled on a random t-shirt, one of Sehun's, he noted that the essence of its previous owner had long since disappeared.
It took every ounce of his willpower not to collapse right then and there.
-
Luhan got off the elevator, fingering the small rabbit keychain that Yixing had bought him when they were out earlier, and walked towards his apartment door. It reminded him of his supportive best friend and had kept him company on the bus ride home since Yixing had previous arrangements to attend.
He pushed the key into the lock, only to find that the door was unlocked.
Instinctually, he grasped around in his pocket for his cellphone just incase he needed to call for help. The memories of several nights prior flooded back, and Luhan held staggered against the wall as he opened the door and walked in.
I can do this, he thought to himself, pushing his keys firmly in the spaces between his fingers. I'm not scared.
But nothing could have prepared him for what was waiting in the living room.
"…Sehun?"
-
Sehun looked up at Luhan, tears trickling out of eyes rimmed with red.
"Luhan…"
He looked down at one of the many pictures of himself and Luhan that he was surrounded with, swiping a finger across a glossy print where they were both smiling brightly.
"Sehun?" The subject of the picture repeated, voice hoarse.
Propping himself with one hand on the ground, Sehun lifted himself up and took a step towards Luhan.
He held out his arms. "Come here… Come to me…"
-
Luhan didn't move.
He couldn't move.
All he could do was clutch at his chest and try not to gag as he supported himself on the wall.
He was sure that this was all an illusion brought on by a severe lack of sleep and nutrition, but he could see Sehun's face scrunch up in confusion and suddenly felt the urge to reach out.
As soon as he let go of the wall, Luhan fell onto the hard, wooden floor, just a mess of bones barely held together by a thin layer of taut skin.
-
Sehun immediately ran over to where Luhan had fallen, pulling the limp body up into his lap, cupping the face with his hands, and tracing the bags under Luhan's eyes with his fingertips.
He leaned down and whispered into the dazed boy's ear, "Let me help you."
Luhan looked up at him, eyelids fluttering. "But.."
"I want this," Sehun murmured, kissing Luhan's protests away.
-
Luhan pressed feverish kisses to Sehun's neck as the latter carried him into the bedroom, desperate to keep contact with the warm body that was holding him.
"Let's try this again," Sehun breathed, breath hot against the shell of his ear.
And Luhan saw stars again, just like the ones on Sehun's tie, eyes blurry with tears, Sehun's face barely registering in his brain as he came.
Except, this time, he cried because everything was just right.