I do feel bad for wanting out of it. But I don't want to be in pain anymore. I don't want to see him smiling at her. I don't want to see her flirting with him in my head anymore. I don't want to feel like everything he says is bullshit even though rationally I know he's telling me the truth. I trust so HARD as it is and I had complete and total trust in him. And... that bruise to my trust is just festering and growing into a huge gaping wound on my heart.
Thank you so much for commenting me. It's good to know someone is listening even when I feel like I'm going crazy.
I don't know about the God thing. I used to feel the same way about him as you do. But.. I haven't felt him in/through me in a long time. I have no idea which direction to turn to. I just need a sign that he's still listening to me too.
The fact that others are hear to tell you, to confirm, that He IS listening is a sign that he's listening in itself. There are things that happen in your life, in everyone's life, that no one'll understand - and that's how God works, in my opinion. In coincedences and scattered chances, more for some people than for others.
But for what you mean now... Just keep working hard - keep working hard, and really trying, and you'll stumble on a direction. Someone might mention something that catches your ear; an idea, anything. Latch onto that, and don't be afraid to try new or different things. Sometimes they don't work out, of course, but you'd be surprised.
As for Sprout... I know exactly how he feels, because that's exactly how I am - not to compare or anything, but I just believe it's true. It's very easy to become that way when you don't like blaming others for problems in your life. Lack of motivation is an easy thing, and it's completely internal - I think everyone has to FIND motivation, and that it isn't something that's so
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Well we decided that we're going to break up. But that we ARE going to get back togather. Once he figures out what's wrong in his life. And why he can't be happy. I told him when he's okay. Or really when he's on his way to being ok. I will take him back. I love him and don't want to be with anyone else. So if he fixes himself, if he can be hole, if he can be happy, I want him to be happy with me. Unless he changes his mind by then.
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Thank you so much for commenting me. It's good to know someone is listening even when I feel like I'm going crazy.
I don't know about the God thing. I used to feel the same way about him as you do. But.. I haven't felt him in/through me in a long time. I have no idea which direction to turn to. I just need a sign that he's still listening to me too.
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But for what you mean now... Just keep working hard - keep working hard, and really trying, and you'll stumble on a direction. Someone might mention something that catches your ear; an idea, anything. Latch onto that, and don't be afraid to try new or different things. Sometimes they don't work out, of course, but you'd be surprised.
As for Sprout... I know exactly how he feels, because that's exactly how I am - not to compare or anything, but I just believe it's true. It's very easy to become that way when you don't like blaming others for problems in your life. Lack of motivation is an easy thing, and it's completely internal - I think everyone has to FIND motivation, and that it isn't something that's so ( ... )
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