The Ghost of You
((Note: All dialog in this is in Thalassian. I usually put anything not in Orcish in brackets to denote that it's a different language, but I'm not going to bother with that here since it's all the same language. Diederich tends to revert to Thalassian when he's drunk, and his dreams and memories are almost always in Thalassian.))
Dwarves. Oh Light Above, the dwarves.
Diederich fell backward, flat on his ass, and then slowly tipped the rest of the way onto his back, his blue-haired head hitting the ground with a comically hollow sounding thok. He giggled, and then groaned. The blurry,tilty, spinny, loud world overwhelmed his cheap beer marinated brain, and he giggled and moaned himself to sleep.
"Diederich, wake up."
Diederich shot up, swiping his dark red hair out of his face. Hair was stuck to his mouth. It confused him. He pulled the hair away and shrieked in pain. He clutched at his mouth, where his hair had dried into the clotted blood he'd just ripped out. Fresh blood flowed down his chin and fingers, and back onto his tongue.
"Be careful with that, idiot," Corinthiahn growled.
Diederich, whole body shaking, touched his wildly trembling fingers to the corners of his mouth. There were two stitches on either side which oozed blood and pus.
"Don't open your mouth. It'll heal cleaner and faster that way."
Diederich stared at Corinthiahn. He hoped frantically that talk of it healing meant that Corinthiahn wasn't going to kill him as his memories of the last time he was conscious flowed back to the forefront of his mind. He wanted to beg for his life, for forgiveness. He wanted to swear that he would try harder, do better. He didn't want Corinthiahn to hurt him anymore. But he kept his mouth shut and, like scared animal, kept stock-still.
"This is a lesson," Corinthiahn said, cool and level. "Life is cruel. The world itself is cruel, the people in it are cruel. Anyone, anything stronger than you will hurt you and use you, and eventually kill you. You can't trust anyone, not even your family, not even me. Anyone stronger than you can and will take anything they want from you. The only safety is power. Remember that. Remember this week that you spend with me here - everything I have done and everything I am going to do. There is nothing sacred, nothing that cannot be taken from you."
Diederich's heart raced like a rabbit's. "I want to go home," he whimpered, too scared to register the flashing pain in his mouth. "I promise I'll remember, I promise."
"That's part of the lesson as well, Diederich," Corinthiahn scowled disapprovingly. "It doesn't matter if you beg or cry, nothing matters. Nothing you can do will change this. You are weak and that's why I control you now. I can and will do anything I want to you."
And there it was. It was like his whole life unfolded before his eyes, pitifully predictable and pointless. Everything that had come after that one bloody moment had been in response to it. His treatment of everyone around him, his coldness, his detachment, his disinterest. Joining the military, ruthlessly climbing the ranks. Ironically it was that which ultimately brought about being raised as a Death Knight, and what Corinthiahn taught him all those years ago the Lich King confirmed a thousand times over.
Diederich didn't want his past back but it haunted him. He wanted to think that he was a whole new person now, but he wasn't. It was still there, shadowing his every footstep, silently influencing his every decision.
He couldn't disavow his past as easily as his family had disavowed him. It was always there, waiting to be acknowledged, and it would force itself on him if it had to.
He'd sobbed out loud, wailed as loud as he could. It was instinctive, like a kit crying for its mother to save it. It was awful, at first vainly thinking that someone would hear, that some help had to come. It didn't. He was truly helpless. This person he admired, respected, hero-worshiped, who had taught him everything... This person had shaped him his whole life, held his hand and led him down a strong and upright path. But this new strength Corinthiahn demanded of him came at profound cost. Diederich was broken by the time he finally set foot back in his home. He looked around that house, looked around at those people, and felt nothing. Any warm, light part of him had gone quiet.
Diederich laugh-coughed, rolling onto his side in the dirt behind one of the Brewfest tents. Then he puked.
Then a guy laying in the dirt in front of him puked.
"You're a god damn dwarf!" Diederich shouted, wagging a finger at him as the dwarf shook puke out of his long red beard.
The dwarf spat an imitation of Diederich's Thalassian back at him, pitching his voice high and adding a lot of effeminate trills.
"Don't you fucking mock me, you bastard!" Diederich sputtered, waving his hand around trying to find a beer mug to chuck at the dwarf's head.
"Meh meh meh trill trill purr trill!" the dwarf mocked back.
Just then two girls stumbled over and puked on them both. They laughed and stumbled away again.
"Oh Light Above, kill me," Diederich whimpered, hunched like a cat trying not to feel its own wet fur.
The dwarf grabbed Diederich's hand and used it to make stabbing motions over his skull, asking Diederich to kill him first.
Diederich shed a single tear. "Our similarities really do overshadow our differences, don't they, little man?"
Diederich reached out for a brotherly hug, when the dark iron dwarf reached out for a beer mug and knocked himself unconscious.
"Oh for the love of all that's holy, I can't even get a hug from a puke-covered dwarf?"
Dwarves. Oh Light Above, the dwarves.
Diederich fell backward, flat on his ass, and then slowly tipped the rest of the way onto his back, his blue-haired head hitting the ground with a comically hollow sounding thok. He giggled, and then groaned. The blurry,tilty, spinny, loud world overwhelmed his cheap beer marinated brain, and he giggled and moaned himself to sleep.
"Diederich, wake up."
Diederich shot up, swiping his dark red hair out of his face. Hair was stuck to his mouth. It confused him. He pulled the hair away and shrieked in pain. He clutched at his mouth, where his hair had dried into the clotted blood he'd just ripped out. Fresh blood flowed down his chin and fingers, and back onto his tongue.
"Be careful with that, idiot," Corinthiahn growled.
Diederich, whole body shaking, touched his wildly trembling fingers to the corners of his mouth. There were two stitches on either side which oozed blood and pus.
"Don't open your mouth. It'll heal cleaner and faster that way."
Diederich stared at Corinthiahn. He hoped frantically that talk of it healing meant that Corinthiahn wasn't going to kill him as his memories of the last time he was conscious flowed back to the forefront of his mind. He wanted to beg for his life, for forgiveness. He wanted to swear that he would try harder, do better. He didn't want Corinthiahn to hurt him anymore. But he kept his mouth shut and, like scared animal, kept stock-still.
"This is a lesson," Corinthiahn said, cool and level. "Life is cruel. The world itself is cruel, the people in it are cruel. Anyone, anything stronger than you will hurt you and use you, and eventually kill you. You can't trust anyone, not even your family, not even me. Anyone stronger than you can and will take anything they want from you. The only safety is power. Remember that. Remember this week that you spend with me here - everything I have done and everything I am going to do. There is nothing sacred, nothing that cannot be taken from you."
Diederich's heart raced like a rabbit's. "I want to go home," he whimpered, too scared to register the flashing pain in his mouth. "I promise I'll remember, I promise."
"That's part of the lesson as well, Diederich," Corinthiahn scowled disapprovingly. "It doesn't matter if you beg or cry, nothing matters. Nothing you can do will change this. You are weak and that's why I control you now. I can and will do anything I want to you."
And there it was. It was like his whole life unfolded before his eyes, pitifully predictable and pointless. Everything that had come after that one bloody moment had been in response to it. His treatment of everyone around him, his coldness, his detachment, his disinterest. Joining the military, ruthlessly climbing the ranks. Ironically it was that which ultimately brought about being raised as a Death Knight, and what Corinthiahn taught him all those years ago the Lich King confirmed a thousand times over.
Diederich didn't want his past back but it haunted him. He wanted to think that he was a whole new person now, but he wasn't. It was still there, shadowing his every footstep, silently influencing his every decision.
He couldn't disavow his past as easily as his family had disavowed him. It was always there, waiting to be acknowledged, and it would force itself on him if it had to.
He'd sobbed out loud, wailed as loud as he could. It was instinctive, like a kit crying for its mother to save it. It was awful, at first vainly thinking that someone would hear, that some help had to come. It didn't. He was truly helpless. This person he admired, respected, hero-worshiped, who had taught him everything... This person had shaped him his whole life, held his hand and led him down a strong and upright path. But this new strength Corinthiahn demanded of him came at profound cost. Diederich was broken by the time he finally set foot back in his home. He looked around that house, looked around at those people, and felt nothing. Any warm, light part of him had gone quiet.
Diederich laugh-coughed, rolling onto his side in the dirt behind one of the Brewfest tents. Then he puked.
Then a guy laying in the dirt in front of him puked.
"You're a god damn dwarf!" Diederich shouted, wagging a finger at him as the dwarf shook puke out of his long red beard.
The dwarf spat an imitation of Diederich's Thalassian back at him, pitching his voice high and adding a lot of effeminate trills.
"Don't you fucking mock me, you bastard!" Diederich sputtered, waving his hand around trying to find a beer mug to chuck at the dwarf's head.
"Meh meh meh trill trill purr trill!" the dwarf mocked back.
Just then two girls stumbled over and puked on them both. They laughed and stumbled away again.
"Oh Light Above, kill me," Diederich whimpered, hunched like a cat trying not to feel its own wet fur.
The dwarf grabbed Diederich's hand and used it to make stabbing motions over his skull, asking Diederich to kill him first.
Diederich shed a single tear. "Our similarities really do overshadow our differences, don't they, little man?"
Diederich reached out for a brotherly hug, when the dark iron dwarf reached out for a beer mug and knocked himself unconscious.
"Oh for the love of all that's holy, I can't even get a hug from a puke-covered dwarf?"