It's funny how someone you were so wrapped up in when you were young can hurt you. I thought he was great at the time, but he hurt me pretty bad. Now, 2 years later, I have realized what I saw in the person he is back then, although then I couldn't understand what it was. I'm older now and more intelligent, more able to understand this world and ( Read more... )

A death has occured. The death of myself. The old me. I have gone through a change. One I never thought would come. I never knew that this was my problem until I overcame it. Attention. I craved it. Everyone craves it. But my need for it was beyond most people's. I was desperate. I wanted attention. Any kind. It was very difficult to get the good ( Read more... )

Love of mine some day you will die. But I'll be close behind. I'll follow you into the dark ( Read more... )

Plan #1: Take Prozac everyday. Antidepressants work weird on me. I need to take them daily in order to not have outburts. Paradigm example was yesterday, no Prozac the day before, ridiculous outburst last night. I'm crazy when I forget it.

Plan #2: Study. I have four hard classes this semester and I need a GPA that is med school worthy. Every day/ ( Read more... )

I skiied for 3 hours (ish) today. All alone. It was all right. 2 people talked to me on the lifts. i wasn't happy about that. I didn't fall. I did pretty well and covered a lot of the mountain.

Dad has surgery on his hand tomorrow. He will be admitted until Wednesday evening. Great. Fun vacation. All alone. In this hotel room. Fun. I think I'll ( Read more... )

I'm bored.

Dad is in the hospital.

He gave me money to go skiing. But I don't want to go by myself.

Dad has surgery tomorrow. Too bad I can't go home.

What am I supposed to do? I guess I'll just sit in bed all day.

Dad paid for this trip all ready so we CAN'T go home.

The closing is on Thursday. Another reason why we CAN'T go home.

My flight ( Read more... )

I have arrived. Jackson Hole, Wyoming. It has been such a long time since I have been here. 2 years...maybe 3. After getting up at the butt crack of dawn, Dad drove the Aerostar, me, and our stuff here. The trip was a little under 6 hours. I slept most of the way. I'm such a good navigator. We went to the Four Seasons resort for a $64.00 lunch. I ( Read more... )

So this is the new year.
And i don't feel any different.
The clanking of crystal
Explosions off in the distance.

So this is the new year
And I have no resolutions
For self assigned penance
For problems with easy solutions
So everybody put your best suit or dress on ( Read more... )

Here I am. Yet again. Ready to spend New Years all alone. No one to kiss at midnight. I think holidays like this (kissing someone at midnight),Christmas (mistletoe), and Valentine's Day, were all created to make those who don't have anyone with them, more alone. Good job. I am feeling pretty damn alone.

I bought the Myspace CD today, mostly ( Read more... )

I and I am to blame,
I sit here in shame.
I threw you away again.

And I, I send you my best.
I try to lay this to rest,
When you were my everything.

And please, could it be true,
That I still love you,
And my loves unworthy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There'd be no distance that could hold us back.
So this is the New Year.