Comments | super_bandom: Love's Not A Competition (But I'm Winning) [1/?]

mmmteaplz in super_bandom

Love's Not A Competition (But I'm Winning) [1/?]

Sep 01, 2009 20:52

Title:Love's Not A Competition (But I'm Winning) - Belongs to Kaiser Chiefs (who are brill)

Author: mmmteaplz

Rating:PG-13 for now, stay tuned for NC-17?

Pairing:Panic(!) At The Disco's Brendon Urie/Jon Walker

POV:Third

Summary:Food and Sport bring people together. AU

Disclaimer:if this is real, then pigs can fly. and have a pig airport

Beta:musicaintdead

Author Notes: ( Read more... )

au: not in a band, fic: wip, band: panic

Comments 1

FIRST FIC! Which means I must be popping your comment cherry! do_come_in September 2 2009, 19:04:32 UTC

This is very good for the first fic, especially as you're attempting an AU. There are a few inconsistencies in the general plot, such as the 'Wimbledon Village' being able to be seen from the hotel that Brendon is staying in. Their characterisations are a little exagerrated, but the subtlety will come with time. The scene between Jon and Brendon in the kitchens could have been expanded to allow the reader to see their feelings, rather than for you to tell them.

You also need to be careful with the paragraph spacings, if you put spaces between them in the posting box, you don't need < br > as well. Honestly, this was a million times better than my first fic. I wrote pure, bad!fic porn for years before anyone helped me make it better! Haha ( ... )