Would you choose me?
Author: super_color
title: Would you choose me?
Pairing:Nishikato/ koyashige
Genre:angst
Summary:If having to choose between your love life or work, which one would you choose?
Thanks to roughededged for helpping me with the end bit of this part.:D
Please enjoy!:D
“Please leave your message after the tone.”
“Eh? Uh, hey Ryo, it’s Shige. Sorry but I can’t have dinner with you today. Please feel free to do whatever you’d like.”
Shige looked at his clock. 1:30 pm. He was lying down on his couch still in his pajamas. Shige had stayed up all night replaying the previous events in his mind.
*Did I really dare to kiss Koyama?* Thoughts about last night raced through Shige’s mind. Whatever had made him do that last night only made him feel even more confused about his feelings.
“Besides I’m your friend; I only want what is best for Shige.” *Koyama only sees me as a friend… why did I kiss him?* Shige hugged a pillow and leaned his aching head back. *Why did I kiss him?*
Shige closed his eyes.
*This is all my fault. Why did I kiss him?*
♥-♥-♥
Ryo closed his phone.*Please feel free to do whatever you’d like? Is he mad at me?*
♥-♥-♥
Shige woke up with the sound of his doorbell. 4:45 pm. He got up mindlessly and headed towards the door.
“Yo,” Ryo smiled brightly at Shige.
“What’s wrong?” Shige said lazily rubbing his eyes.
“What’s wrong with me?”Ryo laughed a little, “I should be asking you that. Can I come in?” Ryo looked inside Shige’s apartment. Shige was somehow gently pushed by Ryo inside his own apartment. “I hope you’re not mad at me, about yesterday, I mean.”
“Why would I be angry? You obviously really had a lot on your mind for you not to call me.”
“Correct!” Ryo failed to notice the slight hint of sarcasm in Shige’s voice. “Our boss made us do a ton of work. I didn’t have the time to call you. I’m sorry.” Ryo pulled Shige close to him.
Shige pulled away, sat on the couch, and turned on the TV.
“What’s wrong Shige?”
“Nothing.” Shige didn’t turn around and instead tried to make it seem as if he was focusing really hard on the TV.
“I was really surprised at your message, you know.”
Shige was silent.
“Are you angry,” Ryo took a seat next to Shige.
Shige said nothing. *Of course I’m angry! Who wouldn’t be? You ditched me and because of that- because of that- I kissed- Kissed-K-o-y-a-… I kissed him!*
Ryo laid his head on Shige’s shoulder and wrapped his arms around Shige’s arm. “You’re right to be mad at me… I’ve been a real jerk lately haven’t I?” Ryo played around with Shige’s fingers looking at every detail about them and lacing them with his own.
Shige looked down at Ryo. This was the man he had fallen in love with. This was the person that he waited for all the time. This was the human being whom he had forgiven every time. Why did he feel so guilty looking at him now?
“It’s my fault,” Shige finally said. Ryo looked directly at Shige whose eyes were now glued on the TV once more. “If I was a more interesting person then maybe Ryo would love me more and want to be with me all the time.”
“That’s not true,” Ryo said. “I love Shige more than anyone in the world. It’s my fault. I need to pay more attention to the one I love.” Ryo then gently grabbed hold of Shige’s chin and pulled him in for a kiss.
“The one I love is Shige,” Ryo whispered.
♥-♥-♥
*Why are we here again?*
Shige looked around nervously. Ryo had brought him to the same restaurant that they always met up in. He didn’t want to meet Koyama by chance, especially since he knew that after their kiss neither of them would ever be the same. What if Koyama suddenly appeared and told Ryo about their kiss? Shige didn’t want to be here. Not now not ever.
“What’s wrong,” Ryo asked Shige. “You look a bit pale. Are you okay?” Ryo placed a hand on Shige’s forehead to check his temperature.
“I thought you said that you were going to take me somewhere nice,” Shige said a bit frustrated pushing Ryo’s hand away from his head.
“This is a nice place,” Ryo laughed. “Don’t you think it’s nice?”
“No. This place is just- I don’t really like this place…”
“What?! This place is the place that I love the best.” Ryo seemed to look happy that Shige was so annoyed. Then his smile faded. Shige was looking all around. *I see… This place probably brings Shige bad memories.* Ryo thought.
“Shige do you want to know why I love this place?”
Shige stayed silent and finally asked, “why.”
“You don’t remember?”
“Remember what?”
“This is the place in which we first met.” Ryo took Shige’s hand from across the table and locked it together with his. “This is the place where we told each other how much we really loved one another.”
Shige looked into Ryo’s eyes. *How did I forget that? Ryo- chan, who is always everywhere but with me, remembered, and I forgot.* Shige looked down ashamed. How could he forget that this is where he met the person that he loved the most? How could he forget that day when he thought he could die of happiness because it turned out that Ryo loved him back. How could he forget this room was where they shared their first kiss?
“Shige, do you still love me?” Ryo asked.
Shige looked up. He wanted to say *Of course I do… but I don’t deserve someone like you. I kissed Koyama. I cheated on you. I didn’t remember the importance of this place. I thought you forgot about us, but in reality I forgot about you.*
Shige held on tightly to Ryo’s hand. He couldn’t say any of that. It was impossible.
“Yes,” Shige said ready to cry.
“What’s wrong Shige?” Ryo moved to sit down next to Shige.
Shige held on tightly to Ryo.
“I don’t deserve someone like you,” Shige’s words were barely audible. Tears welled in his eyes.
“It’s the other way around Shige”
Shige looked at Ryo.
They kissed.
*I need to tell him.*
A crash was heard. Shige and Ryo pulled away from each other.
Koyama stood motionless. Shige’s eyes widened. This wasn’t supposed to happen.
Shige quickly got up and practically ran out of the room.
*He saw us. He saw us.* the thought plagued Shige’s mind.
title: Would you choose me?
Pairing:Nishikato/ koyashige
Genre:angst
Summary:If having to choose between your love life or work, which one would you choose?
Thanks to roughededged for helpping me with the end bit of this part.:D
Please enjoy!:D
“Please leave your message after the tone.”
“Eh? Uh, hey Ryo, it’s Shige. Sorry but I can’t have dinner with you today. Please feel free to do whatever you’d like.”
Shige looked at his clock. 1:30 pm. He was lying down on his couch still in his pajamas. Shige had stayed up all night replaying the previous events in his mind.
*Did I really dare to kiss Koyama?* Thoughts about last night raced through Shige’s mind. Whatever had made him do that last night only made him feel even more confused about his feelings.
“Besides I’m your friend; I only want what is best for Shige.” *Koyama only sees me as a friend… why did I kiss him?* Shige hugged a pillow and leaned his aching head back. *Why did I kiss him?*
Shige closed his eyes.
*This is all my fault. Why did I kiss him?*
♥-♥-♥
Ryo closed his phone.*Please feel free to do whatever you’d like? Is he mad at me?*
♥-♥-♥
Shige woke up with the sound of his doorbell. 4:45 pm. He got up mindlessly and headed towards the door.
“Yo,” Ryo smiled brightly at Shige.
“What’s wrong?” Shige said lazily rubbing his eyes.
“What’s wrong with me?”Ryo laughed a little, “I should be asking you that. Can I come in?” Ryo looked inside Shige’s apartment. Shige was somehow gently pushed by Ryo inside his own apartment. “I hope you’re not mad at me, about yesterday, I mean.”
“Why would I be angry? You obviously really had a lot on your mind for you not to call me.”
“Correct!” Ryo failed to notice the slight hint of sarcasm in Shige’s voice. “Our boss made us do a ton of work. I didn’t have the time to call you. I’m sorry.” Ryo pulled Shige close to him.
Shige pulled away, sat on the couch, and turned on the TV.
“What’s wrong Shige?”
“Nothing.” Shige didn’t turn around and instead tried to make it seem as if he was focusing really hard on the TV.
“I was really surprised at your message, you know.”
Shige was silent.
“Are you angry,” Ryo took a seat next to Shige.
Shige said nothing. *Of course I’m angry! Who wouldn’t be? You ditched me and because of that- because of that- I kissed- Kissed-K-o-y-a-… I kissed him!*
Ryo laid his head on Shige’s shoulder and wrapped his arms around Shige’s arm. “You’re right to be mad at me… I’ve been a real jerk lately haven’t I?” Ryo played around with Shige’s fingers looking at every detail about them and lacing them with his own.
Shige looked down at Ryo. This was the man he had fallen in love with. This was the person that he waited for all the time. This was the human being whom he had forgiven every time. Why did he feel so guilty looking at him now?
“It’s my fault,” Shige finally said. Ryo looked directly at Shige whose eyes were now glued on the TV once more. “If I was a more interesting person then maybe Ryo would love me more and want to be with me all the time.”
“That’s not true,” Ryo said. “I love Shige more than anyone in the world. It’s my fault. I need to pay more attention to the one I love.” Ryo then gently grabbed hold of Shige’s chin and pulled him in for a kiss.
“The one I love is Shige,” Ryo whispered.
♥-♥-♥
*Why are we here again?*
Shige looked around nervously. Ryo had brought him to the same restaurant that they always met up in. He didn’t want to meet Koyama by chance, especially since he knew that after their kiss neither of them would ever be the same. What if Koyama suddenly appeared and told Ryo about their kiss? Shige didn’t want to be here. Not now not ever.
“What’s wrong,” Ryo asked Shige. “You look a bit pale. Are you okay?” Ryo placed a hand on Shige’s forehead to check his temperature.
“I thought you said that you were going to take me somewhere nice,” Shige said a bit frustrated pushing Ryo’s hand away from his head.
“This is a nice place,” Ryo laughed. “Don’t you think it’s nice?”
“No. This place is just- I don’t really like this place…”
“What?! This place is the place that I love the best.” Ryo seemed to look happy that Shige was so annoyed. Then his smile faded. Shige was looking all around. *I see… This place probably brings Shige bad memories.* Ryo thought.
“Shige do you want to know why I love this place?”
Shige stayed silent and finally asked, “why.”
“You don’t remember?”
“Remember what?”
“This is the place in which we first met.” Ryo took Shige’s hand from across the table and locked it together with his. “This is the place where we told each other how much we really loved one another.”
Shige looked into Ryo’s eyes. *How did I forget that? Ryo- chan, who is always everywhere but with me, remembered, and I forgot.* Shige looked down ashamed. How could he forget that this is where he met the person that he loved the most? How could he forget that day when he thought he could die of happiness because it turned out that Ryo loved him back. How could he forget this room was where they shared their first kiss?
“Shige, do you still love me?” Ryo asked.
Shige looked up. He wanted to say *Of course I do… but I don’t deserve someone like you. I kissed Koyama. I cheated on you. I didn’t remember the importance of this place. I thought you forgot about us, but in reality I forgot about you.*
Shige held on tightly to Ryo’s hand. He couldn’t say any of that. It was impossible.
“Yes,” Shige said ready to cry.
“What’s wrong Shige?” Ryo moved to sit down next to Shige.
Shige held on tightly to Ryo.
“I don’t deserve someone like you,” Shige’s words were barely audible. Tears welled in his eyes.
“It’s the other way around Shige”
Shige looked at Ryo.
They kissed.
*I need to tell him.*
A crash was heard. Shige and Ryo pulled away from each other.
Koyama stood motionless. Shige’s eyes widened. This wasn’t supposed to happen.
Shige quickly got up and practically ran out of the room.
*He saw us. He saw us.* the thought plagued Shige’s mind.