Early Mornings and Late Nights Under Overcast Sky (Jensen/Jared RPS) -- 40/? (WIP)
Title: Early Mornings and Late Nights Under Overcast Sky
Characters/Pairing: Jensen Ackles / Jared Padalecki; Jensen Ackles / Luanne (OFC); Jared Padalecki/Pete (OMC); Jared/Eric Kripke/JDM; stated Jared/Sandy; stated Jared/Rebecca (OFC) and stated Jared/Ryan (OMC)
POV: Jensen Ackles
Author's Notes: It’s fiction. That means it’s not real, folks. Jensen and Jared are real people. So is Eric Kripke. The show “Supernatural” is a real TV show on the WB11. If anything else in this is real, I wasn’t aware of it.
Summary: Jared’s girl (Sandra) breaks up with him. Jensen tries to help. Things go (rapidly) downhill from there... then fester... then get better?
Come on! Hop in the handbasket! There be room here for everyone!
Spoilers: Overall there’s really nothing to see here… there are a few very vague spoilers for “Bugs” and some minor spoilers for “Faith”, “Bloody Mary” and "Shadow".
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Chapter Forty: ...Living in Black and White
Rating: NC-17; m/m graphic sex, rape-oral & anal, violence, sexual violence; nightmares
Pairing: Jensen/Jared; Jared Padalecki/Eric Kripke/Jeffrey Dean Morgan
Word Count: 2,709
...and yes... more dream sequences. And it's getting angsty and bad. And this isn't the end... there are a few more. So consider this to be starting 'dream overkill'... But bear with me.
Chapter Forty: ...Living in Black and White
On my knees, shaking in front of the toilet bowl, images of Jared bloodied and broken flickering behind my eyes every time I blink, I feel tears welling up behind my eyes for the first time in years. I remember shedding a few tears in Los Angeles, the last time I felt this vulnerable and emotionally fucked up, but I haven’t actually cried since I was a boy.
I give in to the tears when they come. There’s no one here. I’m alone. I’m not sure if I screamed Jared’s name aloud or not-I’m hoping I didn’t. If I did, I just hope it wasn’t loud enough to rouse Jared. I’m not in a position where I want company-even his.
I don’t cry for long. A few deep breaths later I wipe the tears from my eyes and the snot from my nose, flush the toilet and turn on the shower. No sound from Jared’s room means he’s probably still sleeping, which means I probably didn’t wake him. I’m glad.
I shower, dress in gray sweats and go to the living room where I turn on the television and flop down on the couch. I don’t care what’s on-looks like some infomercials-anything is enough, just so I can stay awake. It’s four-thirty in the morning. I don’t plan on going back to sleep.
When my alarm sounds at seven, I get up and go to my bedroom and turn it off. After refusing the urge to pick it up and throw it against the wall out of sheer frustration, I sink onto my bed, rest my elbows on my knees and my face in my hands, and let out a breath I’ve held for far too long.
How long I sit there, I’m not entirely sure, but it’s Jared knocking at my door that makes me look up. I glance over my shoulder to see him standing there, in jeans and my hoodie, his hair dripping wet from his shower. He’s got my cell phone in hand.
“Eric called.” He says when I murmur good morning over my shoulder. He walks in and sits next to me on my bed, hands me my phone. “Says he wants to burn through the rest of ‘Shadow’ and half of ‘Dead Man’s Blood’ today… something came up back home for him. Family emergency or something. He’s leaving for California right after the shoot.”
“So how long are we shooting for?” I take my phone and turn it over in my hands.
“His flight’s at nine-thirty. I guess we’re shooting clear through eight or so… gives him time enough to get to the airport and make it through security before his flight…” Jared muses. “He won’t be back until Sunday at the earliest.”
“Gonna set us back a while.”
“Depending on how much we get done today, it might not.” Jared says, standing up. “We should head out. He wants us there ASAP.”
“So we’re off until Monday.” I say needlessly.
“Yeah.” Jared grabs my keys and walks out the front door in front of me. “Dunkin Donuts or Starbucks?” He asks.
“Starbucks. We’ll pick Eric up one of those tea things he likes.” I yawn widely and rub at my eyes. I’m still in my sweats from earlier, and I’m wearing sneakers. It’s a safe bet we’re not going anywhere for dinner after filming today. I find myself idly wondering what we’re going to have for dinner, and if we’re going to break for lunch at all, or if Eric’ll tell us to grab something during the fifteen minute coffee/snack/smoke breaks he gives us every three or four hours.
“So how much sleep did you get last night?” Jared asks, hands firmly planted at ten and two on the wheel. I’m not sure how he’s driving my car for the third time in as many mornings, though admittedly I’m in no shape to be driving myself.
“You don’t want to know.”
“More nightmares?” He asks, his voice softer than I think I’ve ever heard. I nod once in response, and he continues, tentatively. He chances a glance at me, tearing his eyes from the road. “Jenny… Man, you gotta sleep...”
“I know.” I know I do. I just don’t know how to. I’m so afraid that if I take the Lunesta, I won’t be able to wake up out of the nightmares that plague my sleep. I stare out the passenger side window and gnaw at my lower lip, just to keep from looking at Jared.
A doubleshot barely keeps me going until noon, and when Eric finally lets us break for ten because “Jensen you’re dragging. Get yourself some coffee and get back on set. Ten minutes, everyone! Ten minutes!”, I run to the food trailer and get a cup of coffee. I drink it black, let it burn my throat.
Jared sits across from me on one of the picnic table benches, watches as I sip at the coffee, my eyes closed. My shoulders are slumped forward and I lean on my forearms on the wooden table top.
“Jensen.”
I look up at him, opening my eyes. His eyes are clear blue, emphasized by the barely visible makeup Cindy’s put on him. I’m wearing what feels like a full bottle of foundation under my eyes alone, and the amount of crap on my lips has me feeling like I could bite down as hard as possible and not draw blood.
“Jen… come away with me.” He says bluntly. “To the mountains. We’ll rent a cabin.”
“What?” I stare at him like he’s grown a second head.
“We’ll rent a cabin.” He continues, ignoring me entirely. “Just the two of us. You can sleep. Jenny… Jenny you have to sleep…”
“Jared… I can’t… go off with you to the mountains.” I hiss, looking around. “What will people…”
“Jensen, stop it.” He says firmly. “Before these past two weeks, you wouldn’t have thought twice. You’d have jumped at the chance to get away.”
“Yeah, I’d have invited Tom or Chad along.” I grumble. It doesn’t matter if that’s true or not-it is, though. I’d probably have invited Tom or Chad or a whole host of other people, Jeff too. Or maybe I wouldn’t have. And if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have thought twice about it. It’d just have been me and Jared, going to get away. Jared would say he needed time away from Sandy, cause you can’t be with a woman 24/7 and I’d say we used the time to get to know each other better so we’d play our roles better after the show got picked up for a second season on the CW.
“So invite them.” He says. “But Jen, you invite them, you know you’re not going to get any sleep. And that’s what you need.”
I need a lot more than sleep.
“I’ll think about it.” I relent, and get up, have my coffee re-filled. I carry it back to the set with me, stumble over my feet more than once and eventually make it up the steps into the warehouse. Jared’s somehow managed to beat me there, and he’s talking with Eric. I don’t ask or think about what they’re discussing. I try to ignore the glances they cast in my direction, bite down on the rising paranoia. It’s lack of sleep.
Eric breaks once more, at three-thirty, so we can grab more coffee or something to eat. I get a granola bar from the vending machine and watch as Jared keeps an eye on me while talking about the next few scheduled scenes with Jeff. I can see the worry in his eyes, the way he keeps sneaking glances at me, as if he’s waiting for me to fall over, collapse or pass out from sheer exhaustion. I feel as though I’m about to, but I don’t (won’t) give Jared the satisfaction.
“I don’t need you keeping an eye on me like a mother hen.” I hiss at him when we’re working closely on the set.
He glares at me, shoves me away harder than necessary, and Eric yells “Cut! Cut! Nice job, guys, that’s just what I was looking for.”
I stand up, dust off my jeans and head off when Cindy waves at me. She touches up the globs of makeup that hide the circles beneath my eyes, uses some brush of whitish powder on my cheeks and taps my shoulder. “Get back out there.” She says with a smile.
It’s thankfully too cold for mosquitoes, and that alone helps me make it through the two hours Eric spends filming between six and eight outside. I’m kept soaking wet for a full hour of the time, as is Jared, filming scenes they ultimately cut, which just pisses me and Jared off, because it was torture spending an hour soaking wet in forty-degree weather.
Eric calls it quits at eight, doesn’t stop to chat with anyone, just rushes off to his car and speeds off set. Jared and I go separately to our own trailers with no word as to what we’re doing for dinner or if we’re doing anything at all.
I lean against the wall of my shower, letting the hot water relax aching and sore muscles, and while I’m sorry that Eric has a family emergency, I’m grateful as well, somehow, despite the fact that I’m still scared to close my eyes and actually sleep. Maybe I’ll rest. But I doubt it.
I close my eyes, feel myself sinking against the wall of the shower, and when I open my eyes, I’m sitting in the shower, and Jeff is standing in front of me, jerking off. “Jeff?” I ask, sitting up, rubbing my eyes to get the water out of them.
“Come on, Jared…” He says. “Suck me… Suck me Jared… you know you want it.” And I see Jared then, on his knees on the floor of my trailer, his head held back by Eric, who’s got a handful of his hair. Eric pushes at his back with the hand that isn’t holding his hair, and Jared arches painfully, his mouth opens in a scream, but no sound comes out as Jeff sticks his dick in Jared’s mouth. “That’s it, baby, suck me good…” He says throatily.
I clamber backwards, stumbling, falling, splashing in the now cold water. Jared’s hands are tied behind his back, I can see them now, and Eric’s holding him still, moving his head with his hair, up and down the length of Jeff’s cock. Jared’s lurching, I can see him fighting back the gag reflex when Eric pushes him farther and farther down the length of Jeff’s cock until Jared’s lips are pressing against Jeff’s balls. “You like this, little cocksucking whore… you’re a whore, Jared… aren’t you?”
Eric moves his head up and down on Jeff’s dick, makes like Jared’s nodding, and the two of them laugh like it’s the greatest joke in the world. I can see tears streaming down Jared’s cheeks, and I don’t know how, but I know… just know that if he could talk, he’d be begging for this to stop.
“Stop!” I find my voice finally. “Stop it! You’re hurting him… stop…”
“He wants it, Jensen… he’s nothing but a faggot. A cocksucker. A good-for-nothing whore.” Eric says. “Isn’t that right, Jared.” And again he moves Jared’s head-yes. Jeff laughs, and pulls out of Jared’s mouth before he comes. I turn my head away. I can’t watch as Jeff shoots his load all over Jared’s face.
I can hear Jared’s strangled sob, Jeff’s voice low and controlled calling him a whore, a slut, telling him he’ll take it because it’s all he’s good for. Eric tells him he’ll never find work again, how dare he try to corrupt me, who’s good enough to get a job anywhere. I hear the sound of a zipper, followed by the rustling of clothes, and I open my eyes, just to see what they’re doing.
Eric’s got his pants around his knees, and is kneeling on the dirty floor of my trailer, behind Jared, whose hands are still tied at the low curve of his back. Jared cries out and spits blood, keels forward when Jeff’s boot meets his midsection. It thrusts his ass up, and Eric grabs it, holds it still, digging his fingers into Jared’s soft skin hard enough to leave bruises when Jared cries ‘no… no… please no…’, and struggles futilely to get away. Eric has a condom on, and shoves into Jared in one thrust. “No telling what kind of diseases you have, boy…” He hisses. “Better for me to use a condom… so I don’t catch anything.”
“Stop… please stop…” I whisper, watching in otherwise horrified silence as Eric and Jeff rape Jared in front of me. Before I couldn’t watch, now I can’t turn away. There’s someone holding my head still, making me watch, and try as I might I can’t turn away.
“You see this? They’re doing it for you… so you can see what kind of scum he is… he’s nothing. If you stay with him, you’ll be nothing…” It’s Luanne’s voice, but it’s not so sugary smooth as I’ve known it in the past. Her fingernails dig into the skin of my jaw, leave marks, raise blood close to the surface. They’re like claws. They hurt.
Eric finishes with a groan, taunts Jared still. “Was my cock not enough for you? Of course not… It couldn’t fill you enough. You’re a slut… a whore…” They shove a dildo into his mouth, one of the prop guns into his ass. I can see blood on the floor, and the insides of his legs. He’s bleeding. He’s still crying, and they take their boots to him, kicking him, beating him. Luanne makes me watch, all the while whispering in my ear about what a worthless loser Jared is, how I’ll be famous and rich and she’ll hang on my arm because it’s what I deserve.
Jared’s tear-filled eyes meet mine, and all I see is betrayal. “How could you…” he whispers, brokenly. “How could you, Jenny…” And he still calls me by my nickname.
I struggle against invisible bonds, kicking against the floor screaming and twisting. “He never did anything to you! How could you do this to him!”
Eric and Jeff are laughing. Luanne’s tongue laps at my neck, she’s biting and nipping and licking and sucking. I struggle more, but I’m held fast.
There’s blood trickling from Jared’s mouth, and there’s cum drying on his dirt-covered and tear-streaked face. “Jared!” I cry his name. “Jared…”
“Jenny!” The water shuts off-it’s cold water, and I’m shivering, lying on the floor of my shower stall. There’s mildew, and I can see the dirt and mud beneath the trailer through the hole that’s the drain. “Jenny?” There are hands on my shoulders-warm hands, gentle hands, and I’m aware that I’m breathing heavily, but not aware enough to do anything about it.
Those hands haul me to my feet, and I’m choking, trying to breathe, hacking out water that’s gotten into my lungs, coughing and spitting into the shower. I can barely move my feet, and I’m dragged from the shower by a strong force, strong enough to keep me on my feet despite my total lack of equilibrium and strength.
“Jared…” I whisper his name one last time in a silent plea, unable to rid myself of the images of him crying and bleeding and broken and screaming.
I hear Jared’s voice, or what I think is his voice. It sounds like him. “I’m here, Jenny… I’m here…” But it’s hazy, it could be a dream. I can’t tell what’s real and what’s not anymore.
“Jared…” I keep repeating his name, like a mantra. If I say his name enough, I’ll be able to rid my mind of the horror of Eric and Jeff raping him. “Jared… Jared…” Every whisper of his name wipes away a bruise from his body.
“Shhh… Shhhh, Jenny…”
After that, I fall into darkness-warm and comforting darkness though, different from the cold shadows of before. I remember nothing until I wake up later.
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Characters/Pairing: Jensen Ackles / Jared Padalecki; Jensen Ackles / Luanne (OFC); Jared Padalecki/Pete (OMC); Jared/Eric Kripke/JDM; stated Jared/Sandy; stated Jared/Rebecca (OFC) and stated Jared/Ryan (OMC)
POV: Jensen Ackles
Author's Notes: It’s fiction. That means it’s not real, folks. Jensen and Jared are real people. So is Eric Kripke. The show “Supernatural” is a real TV show on the WB11. If anything else in this is real, I wasn’t aware of it.
Summary: Jared’s girl (Sandra) breaks up with him. Jensen tries to help. Things go (rapidly) downhill from there... then fester... then get better?
Come on! Hop in the handbasket! There be room here for everyone!
Spoilers: Overall there’s really nothing to see here… there are a few very vague spoilers for “Bugs” and some minor spoilers for “Faith”, “Bloody Mary” and "Shadow".
-------------------------
Chapter Forty: ...Living in Black and White
Rating: NC-17; m/m graphic sex, rape-oral & anal, violence, sexual violence; nightmares
Pairing: Jensen/Jared; Jared Padalecki/Eric Kripke/Jeffrey Dean Morgan
Word Count: 2,709
...and yes... more dream sequences. And it's getting angsty and bad. And this isn't the end... there are a few more. So consider this to be starting 'dream overkill'... But bear with me.
Chapter Forty: ...Living in Black and White
On my knees, shaking in front of the toilet bowl, images of Jared bloodied and broken flickering behind my eyes every time I blink, I feel tears welling up behind my eyes for the first time in years. I remember shedding a few tears in Los Angeles, the last time I felt this vulnerable and emotionally fucked up, but I haven’t actually cried since I was a boy.
I give in to the tears when they come. There’s no one here. I’m alone. I’m not sure if I screamed Jared’s name aloud or not-I’m hoping I didn’t. If I did, I just hope it wasn’t loud enough to rouse Jared. I’m not in a position where I want company-even his.
I don’t cry for long. A few deep breaths later I wipe the tears from my eyes and the snot from my nose, flush the toilet and turn on the shower. No sound from Jared’s room means he’s probably still sleeping, which means I probably didn’t wake him. I’m glad.
I shower, dress in gray sweats and go to the living room where I turn on the television and flop down on the couch. I don’t care what’s on-looks like some infomercials-anything is enough, just so I can stay awake. It’s four-thirty in the morning. I don’t plan on going back to sleep.
When my alarm sounds at seven, I get up and go to my bedroom and turn it off. After refusing the urge to pick it up and throw it against the wall out of sheer frustration, I sink onto my bed, rest my elbows on my knees and my face in my hands, and let out a breath I’ve held for far too long.
How long I sit there, I’m not entirely sure, but it’s Jared knocking at my door that makes me look up. I glance over my shoulder to see him standing there, in jeans and my hoodie, his hair dripping wet from his shower. He’s got my cell phone in hand.
“Eric called.” He says when I murmur good morning over my shoulder. He walks in and sits next to me on my bed, hands me my phone. “Says he wants to burn through the rest of ‘Shadow’ and half of ‘Dead Man’s Blood’ today… something came up back home for him. Family emergency or something. He’s leaving for California right after the shoot.”
“So how long are we shooting for?” I take my phone and turn it over in my hands.
“His flight’s at nine-thirty. I guess we’re shooting clear through eight or so… gives him time enough to get to the airport and make it through security before his flight…” Jared muses. “He won’t be back until Sunday at the earliest.”
“Gonna set us back a while.”
“Depending on how much we get done today, it might not.” Jared says, standing up. “We should head out. He wants us there ASAP.”
“So we’re off until Monday.” I say needlessly.
“Yeah.” Jared grabs my keys and walks out the front door in front of me. “Dunkin Donuts or Starbucks?” He asks.
“Starbucks. We’ll pick Eric up one of those tea things he likes.” I yawn widely and rub at my eyes. I’m still in my sweats from earlier, and I’m wearing sneakers. It’s a safe bet we’re not going anywhere for dinner after filming today. I find myself idly wondering what we’re going to have for dinner, and if we’re going to break for lunch at all, or if Eric’ll tell us to grab something during the fifteen minute coffee/snack/smoke breaks he gives us every three or four hours.
“So how much sleep did you get last night?” Jared asks, hands firmly planted at ten and two on the wheel. I’m not sure how he’s driving my car for the third time in as many mornings, though admittedly I’m in no shape to be driving myself.
“You don’t want to know.”
“More nightmares?” He asks, his voice softer than I think I’ve ever heard. I nod once in response, and he continues, tentatively. He chances a glance at me, tearing his eyes from the road. “Jenny… Man, you gotta sleep...”
“I know.” I know I do. I just don’t know how to. I’m so afraid that if I take the Lunesta, I won’t be able to wake up out of the nightmares that plague my sleep. I stare out the passenger side window and gnaw at my lower lip, just to keep from looking at Jared.
A doubleshot barely keeps me going until noon, and when Eric finally lets us break for ten because “Jensen you’re dragging. Get yourself some coffee and get back on set. Ten minutes, everyone! Ten minutes!”, I run to the food trailer and get a cup of coffee. I drink it black, let it burn my throat.
Jared sits across from me on one of the picnic table benches, watches as I sip at the coffee, my eyes closed. My shoulders are slumped forward and I lean on my forearms on the wooden table top.
“Jensen.”
I look up at him, opening my eyes. His eyes are clear blue, emphasized by the barely visible makeup Cindy’s put on him. I’m wearing what feels like a full bottle of foundation under my eyes alone, and the amount of crap on my lips has me feeling like I could bite down as hard as possible and not draw blood.
“Jen… come away with me.” He says bluntly. “To the mountains. We’ll rent a cabin.”
“What?” I stare at him like he’s grown a second head.
“We’ll rent a cabin.” He continues, ignoring me entirely. “Just the two of us. You can sleep. Jenny… Jenny you have to sleep…”
“Jared… I can’t… go off with you to the mountains.” I hiss, looking around. “What will people…”
“Jensen, stop it.” He says firmly. “Before these past two weeks, you wouldn’t have thought twice. You’d have jumped at the chance to get away.”
“Yeah, I’d have invited Tom or Chad along.” I grumble. It doesn’t matter if that’s true or not-it is, though. I’d probably have invited Tom or Chad or a whole host of other people, Jeff too. Or maybe I wouldn’t have. And if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have thought twice about it. It’d just have been me and Jared, going to get away. Jared would say he needed time away from Sandy, cause you can’t be with a woman 24/7 and I’d say we used the time to get to know each other better so we’d play our roles better after the show got picked up for a second season on the CW.
“So invite them.” He says. “But Jen, you invite them, you know you’re not going to get any sleep. And that’s what you need.”
I need a lot more than sleep.
“I’ll think about it.” I relent, and get up, have my coffee re-filled. I carry it back to the set with me, stumble over my feet more than once and eventually make it up the steps into the warehouse. Jared’s somehow managed to beat me there, and he’s talking with Eric. I don’t ask or think about what they’re discussing. I try to ignore the glances they cast in my direction, bite down on the rising paranoia. It’s lack of sleep.
Eric breaks once more, at three-thirty, so we can grab more coffee or something to eat. I get a granola bar from the vending machine and watch as Jared keeps an eye on me while talking about the next few scheduled scenes with Jeff. I can see the worry in his eyes, the way he keeps sneaking glances at me, as if he’s waiting for me to fall over, collapse or pass out from sheer exhaustion. I feel as though I’m about to, but I don’t (won’t) give Jared the satisfaction.
“I don’t need you keeping an eye on me like a mother hen.” I hiss at him when we’re working closely on the set.
He glares at me, shoves me away harder than necessary, and Eric yells “Cut! Cut! Nice job, guys, that’s just what I was looking for.”
I stand up, dust off my jeans and head off when Cindy waves at me. She touches up the globs of makeup that hide the circles beneath my eyes, uses some brush of whitish powder on my cheeks and taps my shoulder. “Get back out there.” She says with a smile.
It’s thankfully too cold for mosquitoes, and that alone helps me make it through the two hours Eric spends filming between six and eight outside. I’m kept soaking wet for a full hour of the time, as is Jared, filming scenes they ultimately cut, which just pisses me and Jared off, because it was torture spending an hour soaking wet in forty-degree weather.
Eric calls it quits at eight, doesn’t stop to chat with anyone, just rushes off to his car and speeds off set. Jared and I go separately to our own trailers with no word as to what we’re doing for dinner or if we’re doing anything at all.
I lean against the wall of my shower, letting the hot water relax aching and sore muscles, and while I’m sorry that Eric has a family emergency, I’m grateful as well, somehow, despite the fact that I’m still scared to close my eyes and actually sleep. Maybe I’ll rest. But I doubt it.
I close my eyes, feel myself sinking against the wall of the shower, and when I open my eyes, I’m sitting in the shower, and Jeff is standing in front of me, jerking off. “Jeff?” I ask, sitting up, rubbing my eyes to get the water out of them.
“Come on, Jared…” He says. “Suck me… Suck me Jared… you know you want it.” And I see Jared then, on his knees on the floor of my trailer, his head held back by Eric, who’s got a handful of his hair. Eric pushes at his back with the hand that isn’t holding his hair, and Jared arches painfully, his mouth opens in a scream, but no sound comes out as Jeff sticks his dick in Jared’s mouth. “That’s it, baby, suck me good…” He says throatily.
I clamber backwards, stumbling, falling, splashing in the now cold water. Jared’s hands are tied behind his back, I can see them now, and Eric’s holding him still, moving his head with his hair, up and down the length of Jeff’s cock. Jared’s lurching, I can see him fighting back the gag reflex when Eric pushes him farther and farther down the length of Jeff’s cock until Jared’s lips are pressing against Jeff’s balls. “You like this, little cocksucking whore… you’re a whore, Jared… aren’t you?”
Eric moves his head up and down on Jeff’s dick, makes like Jared’s nodding, and the two of them laugh like it’s the greatest joke in the world. I can see tears streaming down Jared’s cheeks, and I don’t know how, but I know… just know that if he could talk, he’d be begging for this to stop.
“Stop!” I find my voice finally. “Stop it! You’re hurting him… stop…”
“He wants it, Jensen… he’s nothing but a faggot. A cocksucker. A good-for-nothing whore.” Eric says. “Isn’t that right, Jared.” And again he moves Jared’s head-yes. Jeff laughs, and pulls out of Jared’s mouth before he comes. I turn my head away. I can’t watch as Jeff shoots his load all over Jared’s face.
I can hear Jared’s strangled sob, Jeff’s voice low and controlled calling him a whore, a slut, telling him he’ll take it because it’s all he’s good for. Eric tells him he’ll never find work again, how dare he try to corrupt me, who’s good enough to get a job anywhere. I hear the sound of a zipper, followed by the rustling of clothes, and I open my eyes, just to see what they’re doing.
Eric’s got his pants around his knees, and is kneeling on the dirty floor of my trailer, behind Jared, whose hands are still tied at the low curve of his back. Jared cries out and spits blood, keels forward when Jeff’s boot meets his midsection. It thrusts his ass up, and Eric grabs it, holds it still, digging his fingers into Jared’s soft skin hard enough to leave bruises when Jared cries ‘no… no… please no…’, and struggles futilely to get away. Eric has a condom on, and shoves into Jared in one thrust. “No telling what kind of diseases you have, boy…” He hisses. “Better for me to use a condom… so I don’t catch anything.”
“Stop… please stop…” I whisper, watching in otherwise horrified silence as Eric and Jeff rape Jared in front of me. Before I couldn’t watch, now I can’t turn away. There’s someone holding my head still, making me watch, and try as I might I can’t turn away.
“You see this? They’re doing it for you… so you can see what kind of scum he is… he’s nothing. If you stay with him, you’ll be nothing…” It’s Luanne’s voice, but it’s not so sugary smooth as I’ve known it in the past. Her fingernails dig into the skin of my jaw, leave marks, raise blood close to the surface. They’re like claws. They hurt.
Eric finishes with a groan, taunts Jared still. “Was my cock not enough for you? Of course not… It couldn’t fill you enough. You’re a slut… a whore…” They shove a dildo into his mouth, one of the prop guns into his ass. I can see blood on the floor, and the insides of his legs. He’s bleeding. He’s still crying, and they take their boots to him, kicking him, beating him. Luanne makes me watch, all the while whispering in my ear about what a worthless loser Jared is, how I’ll be famous and rich and she’ll hang on my arm because it’s what I deserve.
Jared’s tear-filled eyes meet mine, and all I see is betrayal. “How could you…” he whispers, brokenly. “How could you, Jenny…” And he still calls me by my nickname.
I struggle against invisible bonds, kicking against the floor screaming and twisting. “He never did anything to you! How could you do this to him!”
Eric and Jeff are laughing. Luanne’s tongue laps at my neck, she’s biting and nipping and licking and sucking. I struggle more, but I’m held fast.
There’s blood trickling from Jared’s mouth, and there’s cum drying on his dirt-covered and tear-streaked face. “Jared!” I cry his name. “Jared…”
“Jenny!” The water shuts off-it’s cold water, and I’m shivering, lying on the floor of my shower stall. There’s mildew, and I can see the dirt and mud beneath the trailer through the hole that’s the drain. “Jenny?” There are hands on my shoulders-warm hands, gentle hands, and I’m aware that I’m breathing heavily, but not aware enough to do anything about it.
Those hands haul me to my feet, and I’m choking, trying to breathe, hacking out water that’s gotten into my lungs, coughing and spitting into the shower. I can barely move my feet, and I’m dragged from the shower by a strong force, strong enough to keep me on my feet despite my total lack of equilibrium and strength.
“Jared…” I whisper his name one last time in a silent plea, unable to rid myself of the images of him crying and bleeding and broken and screaming.
I hear Jared’s voice, or what I think is his voice. It sounds like him. “I’m here, Jenny… I’m here…” But it’s hazy, it could be a dream. I can’t tell what’s real and what’s not anymore.
“Jared…” I keep repeating his name, like a mantra. If I say his name enough, I’ll be able to rid my mind of the horror of Eric and Jeff raping him. “Jared… Jared…” Every whisper of his name wipes away a bruise from his body.
“Shhh… Shhhh, Jenny…”
After that, I fall into darkness-warm and comforting darkness though, different from the cold shadows of before. I remember nothing until I wake up later.
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