Old News - Part Three
Title: Old News
Author: Annie
Pairing(s)/Character(s): Jensen/Jared
Rating: NC17
Summary: The Media always love a scandal - sometimes, though, they don’t look at the tragedy behind the words.
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything or anyone. This is pure fiction and no reflection on the real people - whom I love too much to hurt!!
A/N: A bit darker than my normal stuff and not jolly or happy. It might disturb some - with mentions of attempted suicide etc. So if you might be upset by this - pass this story by!
Previous chapter
March 2008
Sandy had wanted Jared to announce their engagement and, as he stood beside Jared at the convention, Jensen could see that his friend, his lover, was already having difficulties. ”
Jared was sweating profusely, his shirt already wet with it. Jensen noticed he always sweated when he was excited, nervous or uneasy and today was no exception.
Jared was smiling, big goofy grin that all the fan girls loved. He was talking about his romantic trip to Paris, about the engagement and the fact they hoped to get married in 2009. The crowd whooped and awwwd, some women wiping away tears. Jensen shook his head, keeping his own ‘game face’ firmly in place. He wondered what they might do if they knew the truth. He wondered what Sandy would do if she knew the truth.
All he could hope was they never would find out.
***
Jensen was no fool. He and Jared knew what they were doing, but they just couldn’t stop doing it. It was something more than lust; something more than desire; something that went beyond sexual and into something else; something neither of them could explain nor understand.
He let his eyes scan the crowd, meeting eager glances, exchanging shy smiles. He knew they had brilliant fans, loyal, keen and eager. He knew the fans loved the chemistry between Sam and Dean knew they adored the fact that that chemistry was down to Jared and Jensen’s epic friendship.
He also knew what some of the fans secretly (and not so secretly) thought.
He and Jared had once spent an entire night on the internet, reading fan fiction, reading RPS on Live Journal, art imitating life maybe.
They had laughed about it later, but there had been little humour in their laughter. It was perfectly ok to be gay for each other in fantasy, but reality was a whole lot different.
They were locked into their secret relationship. Constant hiding and subterfuge.
An hour snatched in one of their trailers, twenty minutes in one of the Impala’s whilst they were ‘rehearsing’, sneaking out of each others apartments in the early hours of the morning. The secrecy made it somehow more exciting, gave it extra spice.
However, they knew, deep within themselves, they could never afford to get caught.
It had nearly happened several times; zippers hastily fastened, hands on tables, heads buried in scripts, flushed faces as they ran in late for shooting.
They might have laughed about it at the time, but it wasn’t funny.
Their careers wouldn’t survive something like this; couldn’t. They were young and still trying to establish themselves in a Hollywood that, despite noises to the contrary, was still very establishment and middle class.
Hollywood didn’t ‘do’ homosexuality.
Jensen was pretty sure his parents wouldn’t be peachy about it either and he knew that Jared’s momma was expecting little ‘Jared’s’ in the future. Everywhere they turned, they were met with walls of denial and they couldn’t even begin to think of climbing them.
***
Present Day
’We have just heard that the actor, brought in earlier today, is still in a critical condition. We do know that he was found naked in his bedroom and there was a note. His parents arrived only minutes ago, but they had no comment to make. Earlier reports that his co-star was also here have been confirmed, but no reporter is being allowed inside the hospital at this present time. We will, of course, let you know when there are any developments.
He is hiding in the men’s room like a child.
He can hear voices, raised in pain and anger, and he cannot even bring himself to face the parents, not yet.
They didn’t know of course, only found out from the press, read the exclusive.
He wondered, randomly, how much the paper had paid her for breaking the story, how much blood money they had given her.
He wonders if she will have the gall to show her face.
He rubs his face and looks into the mirror, pulling off the sunglasses to reveal red-rimmed eyes, tear-smeared cheeks and a full day’s growth of stubble.
He wishes that he could just escape this, but he knows that he can’t, that, eventually, he will have to get out of this room and face the family, face the medical staff, face the press.
He has been one of two for so long he hadn’t realised how hard it was to do on your own, how painful, how fucking difficult.
He knows that his lover is dying, that they don’t think he will ever wake up again, that he will be lucky to survive the night.
He can’t face this life without him, he just can’t.
He isn’t brave or strong enough and he wonders, with a wry smile, if he is going to give them something else to write about.
He remembers a line, random, one of Sam’s maybe but he can’t be sure.
‘If we are going down, then we are going down together.’
Next chapter
Author: Annie
Pairing(s)/Character(s): Jensen/Jared
Rating: NC17
Summary: The Media always love a scandal - sometimes, though, they don’t look at the tragedy behind the words.
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything or anyone. This is pure fiction and no reflection on the real people - whom I love too much to hurt!!
A/N: A bit darker than my normal stuff and not jolly or happy. It might disturb some - with mentions of attempted suicide etc. So if you might be upset by this - pass this story by!
Previous chapter
March 2008
Sandy had wanted Jared to announce their engagement and, as he stood beside Jared at the convention, Jensen could see that his friend, his lover, was already having difficulties. ”
Jared was sweating profusely, his shirt already wet with it. Jensen noticed he always sweated when he was excited, nervous or uneasy and today was no exception.
Jared was smiling, big goofy grin that all the fan girls loved. He was talking about his romantic trip to Paris, about the engagement and the fact they hoped to get married in 2009. The crowd whooped and awwwd, some women wiping away tears. Jensen shook his head, keeping his own ‘game face’ firmly in place. He wondered what they might do if they knew the truth. He wondered what Sandy would do if she knew the truth.
All he could hope was they never would find out.
***
Jensen was no fool. He and Jared knew what they were doing, but they just couldn’t stop doing it. It was something more than lust; something more than desire; something that went beyond sexual and into something else; something neither of them could explain nor understand.
He let his eyes scan the crowd, meeting eager glances, exchanging shy smiles. He knew they had brilliant fans, loyal, keen and eager. He knew the fans loved the chemistry between Sam and Dean knew they adored the fact that that chemistry was down to Jared and Jensen’s epic friendship.
He also knew what some of the fans secretly (and not so secretly) thought.
He and Jared had once spent an entire night on the internet, reading fan fiction, reading RPS on Live Journal, art imitating life maybe.
They had laughed about it later, but there had been little humour in their laughter. It was perfectly ok to be gay for each other in fantasy, but reality was a whole lot different.
They were locked into their secret relationship. Constant hiding and subterfuge.
An hour snatched in one of their trailers, twenty minutes in one of the Impala’s whilst they were ‘rehearsing’, sneaking out of each others apartments in the early hours of the morning. The secrecy made it somehow more exciting, gave it extra spice.
However, they knew, deep within themselves, they could never afford to get caught.
It had nearly happened several times; zippers hastily fastened, hands on tables, heads buried in scripts, flushed faces as they ran in late for shooting.
They might have laughed about it at the time, but it wasn’t funny.
Their careers wouldn’t survive something like this; couldn’t. They were young and still trying to establish themselves in a Hollywood that, despite noises to the contrary, was still very establishment and middle class.
Hollywood didn’t ‘do’ homosexuality.
Jensen was pretty sure his parents wouldn’t be peachy about it either and he knew that Jared’s momma was expecting little ‘Jared’s’ in the future. Everywhere they turned, they were met with walls of denial and they couldn’t even begin to think of climbing them.
***
Present Day
’We have just heard that the actor, brought in earlier today, is still in a critical condition. We do know that he was found naked in his bedroom and there was a note. His parents arrived only minutes ago, but they had no comment to make. Earlier reports that his co-star was also here have been confirmed, but no reporter is being allowed inside the hospital at this present time. We will, of course, let you know when there are any developments.
He is hiding in the men’s room like a child.
He can hear voices, raised in pain and anger, and he cannot even bring himself to face the parents, not yet.
They didn’t know of course, only found out from the press, read the exclusive.
He wondered, randomly, how much the paper had paid her for breaking the story, how much blood money they had given her.
He wonders if she will have the gall to show her face.
He rubs his face and looks into the mirror, pulling off the sunglasses to reveal red-rimmed eyes, tear-smeared cheeks and a full day’s growth of stubble.
He wishes that he could just escape this, but he knows that he can’t, that, eventually, he will have to get out of this room and face the family, face the medical staff, face the press.
He has been one of two for so long he hadn’t realised how hard it was to do on your own, how painful, how fucking difficult.
He knows that his lover is dying, that they don’t think he will ever wake up again, that he will be lucky to survive the night.
He can’t face this life without him, he just can’t.
He isn’t brave or strong enough and he wonders, with a wry smile, if he is going to give them something else to write about.
He remembers a line, random, one of Sam’s maybe but he can’t be sure.
‘If we are going down, then we are going down together.’
Next chapter