Magic

[superbbluewren]

This evening, I left work a little later than I usually do. The weather is cooler, and I travelled home in the dark for the first time in six months. I was reading Robert Dessaix' Arabesques' which is, as well as being a travel book, a book of reminiscence, beautifully written and beautifully presented. It is the focus of the Sydney Bookmen's

Comments

[leicesterstreet]

On a personal note, I mostly loathed dating, having being jerked around by a series of guys who I was mostly incompatible with. The gay scene is hard because frankly, we just don't have the population base that the straights have to choose from. You have a much better attitude towards it all than I ever did, even more impressive considering your age. I don't mean that being 60 is good or bad, but for some people, it is not highly regarded. It would be hard not to be jaded in such a situation.

I'm lucky to have found my partner Derek and be really happy with him. On a number of levels we are quite compatible, but we do have our differences, no doubt about that. Despite that, we are both in agreement and are happy being in a monogamous relationship.

[superbbluewren]

I started to write this reply and it disappeared into cyberspace.

If we did not have our differences, life would be so boring! Maybe I will be jaded in five years time, but I have been lucky. And I really did only start to explore this world six years ago, so I am still very young and naive!

I know that I should make a list of my expectations. My ex-wife was very specific and found a new partner in three weeks. I don't think it is so easy for us. We do only have 5% of the world to choose from. Even in Sydney with its population of over 4 million the gay world is very small and incestuous.

So if you are happy, keep working on it. Don't walk away from something that is working.

Mal

[leicesterstreet]

That's another thing that seems....what's the word... alien? No, too dramatic. Maybe "hard to conceive" is the phrase. Hard to concieve living a straight life for all of those years, then bang at the age of 50 something coming out. I'm going to ask a question that may come across really blunt and inappropriate..... Did you find your marriage at all sexually fulfilling? How did that work? Did your ex wife really know you weren't into her?

Also, did you think it was "worth it" to come out and date in the more senior years of your life? I know that question comes across horribly ageist, but that's what I honestly would probably think your situation. Then again, I can be a cynical pessimistic bastard, so my view of the world is not necessarily correct.

[superbbluewren]

Let me answer your last question first. Do I think that it was worth it? I can't say that I do. I have often thought that I should never have left my marriage. My ex-wife and I were very sympatico. Our sex life was not wonderful, but we could have managed. I still love her dearly.

At the same time, I feel that it was important to come out and be who I really am. It is not about sex. It is about being the person that I really am and not the pretend person that I tried to be when I was married.

It is not easy, but it was important to do.