Chapter 2

[supergregnumba1]

Six months ago, I went to my doctor's office and told him I had been having steadily increasing thoughts of suicide. That day, I more or less gave up on legitimate happiness and settled for it's biochemical equivalent. Am I ever going to be happy again? The kind of happy that matters? The kind I don't need to order refills for? I guess only time

Comments

[morton_beeswax]

Greg, you often surprise me with your bravery and sincerity. You are a very funny man, but you're also one of the better human beings I've known.

I really appreciate and am impressed by your ability to talk about this. Keep doing it. Also, call me anytime. In fact, I think you owe me a call.

[onewon]

I've always liked you, Greg.

[animechic]

I would never have known you'd felt this way. The entire time I knew you in college, I envied the gifts you'd been blessed with, and the friends you gained. I hated that I was so "flawed" that I couldn't be funny, or have friends like yours, and that whenever I did get to hang out near you or whatnot, I always worried you were annoyed by me or "disgusted" (can't think of a tamer version) by me and my attentions. I thought you were on top of the world, and you were someone I idolized and adored. When you left, I was very, very sad, and LNP was not the same. I believe it was you primarily who made it so special, because at the time, that was the only thing that made me happy. I want you to know this, because you never were and are not now a waste of space.

gregory chester.

[oxymorena]

looks like you've got a solid band of people that love you. it seems like the new project is learning to love yourself. which is a drastically difficult one in a culture that so vehemently asks that you find a reason to despise yourself. it's a gift that you are so insightful and caring, but it's just as easily a curse because the examined life is a painful one. the bonus is it's more worth living