Comments | superhappytime: Thoughts on Being in a Healthy Relationship

superhappytime

Thoughts on Being in a Healthy Relationship

Feb 21, 2012 18:53

I never saw my parents fight when I was growing up. Did they disagree? Sure? Did one or the other of them sometimes get perturbed? Definitely. But I never saw a real argument. I never-ever heard them call one another names or use profanity out of anger directed at each other (or their kids). Did they argue? It seems likely. But they were ( Read more... )

Comments 5

andreamarie February 22 2012, 01:20:30 UTC

The model my parents gave me was the exact opposite of yours. They fought in front of us constantly. They cussed each other out, my mom threw things at my dad, there were a few instances of physical violence. It was awful. When I grew up and got into a serious relationship, I didn't know how to handle disagreements other than to yell and scream and get angry. I had to learn how to handle arguments.

I'm glad your parents gave you the model that they did, even if it's hard to replicate. It's the model I plan to have for my children.

superhappytime February 22 2012, 01:51:36 UTC

I guess sometimes people can learn from a bad example...but a good one is nice to have

mad_m February 22 2012, 16:34:21 UTC

i've read this a few times over and have different thoughts each time, which range from "wow, i wish all people had this much insight into their own behavior," to "but sometimes it really just doesn't work for reasons beyond personality." sometimes it doesn't matter how much you are able to talk about problems. some problems are a product of timing or extenuating factors that you can't change.

superhappytime February 22 2012, 17:44:23 UTC

I don't disagree with you...I think my thought is more that there is no shot if you can't communicate through problems...and that in every failed relationship there were mistakes by both parties.

kittenboo February 24 2012, 20:35:13 UTC

1. being open about ones thoughts and feeling, whats going on in your head, with a partner, is so damn hard. At least that has been my experience. And it isn't the telling that's hard, it's the other person hearing you and responding the way you want. It has always worked so well with close friends but it doesn't seem to be the same with a partner, and that probably has everything to do with the bond you have. The desire to fix, the desire that your partner feel ok, the worry about what it all means, etc. A middle ground works for me. Like maybe not discussing everything, but a general, I am having a bad week, day, i'm having nightmarea again, I'm feeling sad, maybe a few sentences about it, and that's it ( ... )