What's with the hating on career women? I demand hater equality..... Bash your male bosses more to make up for it!! (goes back to kitchen where she belongs)
It's not really a knock on career women. You ever hear someone say "men just don't like smart women?" I think there is some accuracy in that...or, more to the point, men are intimidate frequently by successful women. So the career man is usually more comfortable with the wife who doesn't challenge him...which could be a function of his own insecurity. But it could also work both ways...that you have to have one person in the relationship that plays the role of making sure the home life is good...OR, preferably...hopefully, in my dreams and hopes, you both sacrifice a little to take on parts of that role. But I'm willing to bet there are no couples out there composed of two fortune 500 CEOs.
And I feel like I definitely got some digs in at the power male who fucks up his marriage and his kids for the sake of being the Big Man down at the Cracker Factory.
This post was amazing on so many levels. I could have written most of this myself, but I never knew how to explain it just the way you have. Coming from someone who's divorced from one of those men who loved work more than anyone or anything, I've seen both sides.
I've also made a very poor career choice in order to get ahead financially. I'm miserable in my job and realize I don't want my boss's job, I just want a paycheck so I'm not homeless. I made the choice to go into this field because I grew up poor and wanted to never stress about money again.
If I could have my way, I'd totally work for the Red Cross helping in disaster aid or building homes for the homeless, but sadly I can't do that and take care of my bills and see my family. Time with my family is something I miss so much since moving to California. We were always close, and it's rough being 2,000 miles away. I couldn't imagine making less money and not going home at Christmas.
And also like you, I feel the same way about relationships in every regard. I think this post
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I don't think it's that unusual. I think having a failed, committed relationship and taking time to really analyze what and why it went wrong rather than just placing blame provides people with real perspective. Too bad more people don't take the time to figure out what they need and how to make choices to get it.
Agreed. From my failed marriage, I've learned my faults. I know where I struggle (the constant need for validation, self esteem issues, etc). Whenever I approach my boyfriend with an issue now, I can explain exactly why it bothered me instead of blaming him and causing a fight. Things are more peaceful because we both know what are triggers are and we don't pretend that we are perfect. I analyze why something bothers me, and often times its my own self esteem issues hurting me and not the other person. Then I can address it and move past it. Seems much easier than the temper tantrums my ex used to throw whenever I suggested he get anger management therapy :)
I think about how relationships work or why they work a lot. Scott and I have been together a long time. From me finishing college, to him leaving a high paying job and me making more than him while he tried to figure out what to do. To him opening his studio, us having Indy, and me quitting my job
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I feel like going to bed together is kind of a big deal, too. Maybe not 7 days a week...but I've been in that relationship that gets frustrating quickly by one person staying up all the time.
I think most of my friends with good relationships have date nights...sounds silly, but I think of the ones that don't and all the frustration I see in their lives.
This struck me on so many levels because I not only know exactly what you're talking about, but I can see it happening in my own RL. My BILs, for instance, are super, super competitive (they all played sports in college), and that competitiveness carried over into their careers. They all make very good livings. Only one of them is married to what I'd call a bona-fide "career woman" (she's an executive VP) because she only took the minimum amount of maternity time off when her sons were born as opposed to Lawyer SIL By Marriage who now only works PT. But she's more of a homemaker type anyway. SO's sisters. OTOH, were raised NOT to be career women, thanks to my MIL, who still fervently believes a woman's highest duty is motherhood and homemaking. The only way you can achieve that is to marry a successful man, which they all did
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I started noticing it maybe 4 or 5 years ago...this tendency for successful, driven women to be married or living with guys who were kind of losers...and male friends who shocked me with their emphasis on "I want a wife who cooks me dinner every day."
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I've also made a very poor career choice in order to get ahead financially. I'm miserable in my job and realize I don't want my boss's job, I just want a paycheck so I'm not homeless. I made the choice to go into this field because I grew up poor and wanted to never stress about money again.
If I could have my way, I'd totally work for the Red Cross helping in disaster aid or building homes for the homeless, but sadly I can't do that and take care of my bills and see my family. Time with my family is something I miss so much since moving to California. We were always close, and it's rough being 2,000 miles away. I couldn't imagine making less money and not going home at Christmas.
And also like you, I feel the same way about relationships in every regard. I think this post ( ... )
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I think most of my friends with good relationships have date nights...sounds silly, but I think of the ones that don't and all the frustration I see in their lives.
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