(no subject)
Title: Almost Over
Pairing: Akame
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Fluff, Romance, Drama
Beta: unbeta’d because this is on a wild, in-the-wee-hours-of-the-morning whim
Disclaimer: Own nothing but the plot.
Warning: Character near-death.
Summary: Jin doesn’t want to be set free, but Kazuya sets him free nonetheless. It’s not like they have a choice anyway.
A/N: *cries*
oOo
Jin clumsily clambered out of his car, balancing in his arms the many paper bags he carried. Kame watched from his room, looking out the window. What could Jin have brought this time?
The older man always brought Kame something rare or something that Kame craved for which he could not get himself, given his current state. He could not travel far distances anymore, and it seemed like Jin wanted to make up for that.
You’re trying to get over it easily, but it seems our time’s already up.
It also seemed like Jin wanted to live with Kame now. He would stay over at Kame’s place for whole days when it was his day off, and on days when he had to work, he would still come home to Kame.
In the uncommon event that Jin was too tired to drive over to Kame’s, he would call the younger man and they would talk until either would fall asleep. Kame was usually the one who fell asleep first. His health would not allow him to abuse his body anymore. Nonetheless, Kame found it cute that Jin was being clingy.
Time to say goodbye, don’t pretend like you can’t hear me.
Kame told Jin time and again that it was okay not to visit everyday. The older man, after all, was busy with work, what with finally making it worldwide and having so many countries listen to his music. Kame felt that he was being selfish by keeping Jin here with him for days on end, just lazing around, and sometimes Jin even had to take care of him, when he was feeling worse than usual.
Kame felt that he was keeping Jin from living his life and having fun, but Jin insists.
I’m singing a break-up song, bye my love.
Sometimes Jin can be annoying too, being overly protective. On the rare days that Kame felt good and wanted to go out and perhaps enjoy the sunlight and the wind, Jin would worry and try to stop him, saying that he was too fragile to go.
It upset Kame, and sometimes he’d be tempted to break up with the guy.
I’m going to fly higher to that far away place.
Since Kame was leaving soon, anyway.
It’s a new start, now it’s time to part ways.
Kame knew he had to teach Jin to be independent of him. It wasn’t healthy, how they would spend their days together, when one day it would definitely stop and Jin would be left alone.
More than anything, Kame was scared for Jin.
Once again, I’m boldly making my exit.
But he didn’t entertain the thought too much. It would pop up in his mind, and he would ponder on it a little, but then he would push it to the back of his mind and he would forget about it for the time being.
The thought of breaking up with Jin was too hurtful and unimaginable for Kame. Besides, he didn’t really have to think about it anymore, in his state.
I hope that you’ll be free from me forever, from this moment on.
Kame only wished that, when the time comes that he must go, Jin would learn to let go, too, and keep on living his life. It was true that they basically lived for each other, but then, when Kame was gone, Jin still had so much more to do with his life. His soul, his passion, his love for music and for the people around him need not die along with Kame.
I will forget you now.
Kame wasn’t sure if he should work on letting go of Jin as well. He didn’t know if he’d miss the older man. No one knows what happens after one dies, right? Kame wasn’t sure, but these days it appeared that he worked on keeping memories of Jin as much as possible. It was like he was squeezing into his brain every little thing that he knew about Jin, like he would take the memories with him when he passed away.
Please think of farewell as love as well. It’s over now, turn your head away.
“Jin, when I’m gone,” Kame would always begin. “I want you to - ”
“Shh!” and Jin would always cut him off.
“Don’t you want to hear what I want you to do when I’m not around anymore?” Kame would tease the older man, knowing how Jin never was able to resist when Kame was being cute and childish.
“I do…”
Jin sighed.
“It’s just that… can’t we talk about that some other day? You’re here with me now, today. I want us to live in it today.”
Kame smiled, reaching for his lover’s cheek and touching it gently.
“Thank you, Jin.”
Wherever I go, I will think of you.
Sometimes Kame really doubted Jin’s judgment. His strength. It seemed like Jin would just fall apart when Kame leaves him. One time, Kame had to be brought to the hospital and was unconscious for a few days. The doctors couldn’t say if he’d be able to wake up again. When he did, though, he found Jin sleeping on the couch in his hospital room. The soloist was in his most disheveled state, like he had not gone home for days.
“Jin, what are you - have you been sleeping here?” Kame asked, sitting up in bed and surveying the scene before him.
“Oh god, Kame, thank god you’re awake.”
Jin rushed to his side, tightly hugging him and kissing his forehead gently. Kame smirked.
“You were scared, weren’t you?”
Kame knew, if he weren’t ill, Jin would have hit him on the head for that comment. Instead, the older man expressed himself by staring exasperatedly at Kame.
“Of course I was scared!” he said, flailing his arms over his head. “Even the doctors weren’t sure if you’d be able to - oh god - ”
Jin hugged him again, not letting go this time.
“Don’t scare me like that again, okay?”
Kame smiled into the hug. He, of course, did not have control over when he’d fall ill and when he’d be a bit better, but he appreciated Jin’s worry and concern. He appreciated that he was able to spend the last of his days with the man he loved most.
You’re always next to me, always by my side.
On the days that Jin was not able to stay over at Kame’s house, he would send the younger man a message almost every hour, flooding Kame’s phone with photos of Jin’s crew, Jin’s sound tech guy, Jin’s lunch meal, Jin’s used tissue -
“A tissue, Jin?” Kame asked over the phone, laughing.
He called Jin up when he was sure that the older man’s work was over.
“Er, yeah,” Jin replied sheepishly. “I just thought - I’d let you see - you know, how my workplace looks like - ”
“I’ve been an idol for years, Jin. I pretty much know what a studio looks like,” Kame said, his voice free of sarcasm, only good humor. “And I don’t leave my used tissues lying around like that.”
“I just want you to see what I’m doing when we’re not together - ”
Kame stiffened in his bed, suddenly aware of Jin’s assertion of his sappiness.
“ - because even when we’re not together, I think of you.”
Kame had to smile into his mobile phone.
I’ll pray for you, bring my two hands together, that you’re happy…
“So I was asking Jin what he’d miss most about you - ”
Jin, seated at the foot of Kame’s bed, hissed at Josh’s words, but Dominic finished the sentence in his rough Nihongo anyway.
“And he didn’t want to answer, but we’ve got a good guess.”
Kame smirked back at Josh, who stopped speaking to eat the rest of the food on his plate. He and the rest of the Jin Crew, as well as a few of their friends from Johnny’s, were seated on monoblocs around Kame’s hospital bed, awkwardly enjoying their meals for this impromptu party.
“What’s your guess, then?” Kame asked, smiling around at Jin’s friends.
“The sex, of course!” Josh exclaimed, earning laughter from the rest of the crew.
Jin looked murderous, but his expression mellowed when he spotted Kame laughing along with everyone.
And that we’re forever together.
“He doesn’t need to worry about that just yet,” Kame said, still laughing.
“Y - you mean - he’s still getting some?!” YamaPi exclaimed from his seat to Kame’s right.
Kame nodded, the smile never leaving his lips.
“Oh god - too much information - ” Ryo muttered before burying his face in his hands, the rest of the crowd laughing and chattering again.
Kame grinned, and Jin just couldn’t help but smile back.
It’s almost over now.
On this particular day, Kame was feeling bad, worse than usual, perhaps the worst day he’d seen since he fell ill. He lay in bed, still and silent, and waited for Jin to come up to his room. After what felt like eternity, he heard Jin’s footsteps outside his bedroom.
At that moment, pain shot through him and it felt like his whole body was on fire. Jin entered the room and rushed to his side. The soloist sat beside Kame and gently gathered the frail body in his arms.
“It’s almost over now, Kazuya,” Jin whispered into Kame’s ear, observing the pained expression the younger man had.
Kame couldn’t smile because of the pain, but his soul beamed at the comfort that was Jin’s voice.
I won’t forget, day and night, the memories I always had with you.
~end~
oOo
Song lines from Love is Ouch by 2ne1. Lyrics reference http://yubseyo.wordpress.com/2010/09/09/2ne1-love-is-ouch-english-lyrics/ and http://whimsicalbeing.blogspot.com/2010/09/2ne1-love-is-ouch-lyrics-with-english.html.
I don’t understand what it is about Kame dying that I find so appealing to write about. Perhaps the accompanying Jin angst? I seriously hope this is the last Kame-death-fic I write in a while. I actually cried when I wrote this. *sigh* Thanks for reading.
Vietnamese translation of this fic is available HERE thanks to kame0727 :D
Back to Fic list~