Without You is How I Disappear - Chapter 3 (Part 2)

[superhero0008]

Title: Without You is How I Disappear
Authors: superhero0008, carboncastel, cascadingmerrygoround @ Tumblr
Pairing: Akame, MaruDa, RyoDa (plus others)
Rating: NC-17
Genre: AU, Romance, Drama, Smut
Disclaimer: We own no one in this fic except some minor OC. We own the plot.
Summary: World of Johnny’s Entertainment is burning with glitz and glamour. At the very top is Crimson Glory, the famous pop duo made up of the incredibly charismatic Kamenashi Kazuya and the enthralling Ueda Tatsuya. They are alike in that they follow where their hearts take them. Akanishi Jin is a solo artist who just recently debuted, slowly working his way to the top. Nishikido Ryo is an actor, and he goes for what he wants. Nakamaru Yuichi is the agency’s official photographer, and he’s happy with what he has. And Johnny Kitagawa. He doesn't make it easy for any of them. Well, except for his favorites, Shirota Yuu and Taguchi Junnosuke, and most especially, Kamenashi. What is true and what is false in this industry of illusions? What will they hold onto and what should they let go of?superhero0008’s fic list here. Go to carboncastel’s fic list here. Go to cascadingmerrygoround’s Tumblr account here.



Without You is How I Disappear
Chapter 3


Kame returned to his private table with Jin, still troubled by Ryo’s drunken statement.

“Hey… what’s wrong?” Jin spoke slowly, as if keeping himself from opening his mouth too much. He was already drunk.

Kame concisely relayed the story of bumping into Ryo on his way back from the comfort rooms. He even tried to downplay how much Ryo was such an ass, just because the guy was Jin’s friend. He couldn’t resist, though, mentioning what Ryo said, at which Jin merely laughed.

“He’s probably already drunk - ”

“Probably? He was. He couldn’t even walk straight - ”

“So don’t mind him too much. He’s okay. And good for him, he’s getting laid.”

Jin laughed again, throwing his head back. Kame frowned, unable to stop himself from thinking. To begin with, Jin should be concerned about his friend having sex with random strangers. Who knows what might happen? While Kame was open-minded about such things, it wouldn’t hurt to be careful and to know something about the other person. At the very least, know the person’s name.

And then, Jin’s comment about Nishikido getting laid. Was that a subtle commentary at how Jin thought Kame was being such a killjoy about not getting it on? By Kame’s own standards, his relationship with Jin was already progressing fast. Too fast, perhaps?

“Kazuuu~” Jin drunkenly whined, wrapping an arm around Kame’s waist once again. He said nothing more, and Kame suddenly felt awkward.

This thing with Jin. What is it? Kame thought about what they did earlier that day in his apartment, and it felt good, to say the least. But was it right? Kame took a sip of his beer, glancing at the older man whose head was on his shoulder. If this was a relationship, Kame wasn’t sure it was a good idea to start so physical.

“Jin?” Kame spoke in a hushed, unsure tone against Jin’s hair. Jin hummed his response. “What are we now?”

The soloist raised his head and stared at Kame, suddenly looking proper and sober, a smile on his face.

“Well, we’re dating… aren’t we?”

Kame smiled back, and tried to look satisfied with the response. He didn’t want to ruin the night. He nodded and tore his gaze away from Jin.

oOo

Ryo ran a hand down the woman’s side, feeling her shiver under his touch. He smirked and continued his task. They had been in the restroom cubicle for quite a while. Bitch doesn’t come right away, which is good. Very good.

“Harder,” the blonde said pointedly.

Ryo realized his pace faltered, so he thrust in hard and deep, which of course earned a shriek of pleasure from the woman. His pace faltered. Because he was imagining things. Ahh, he was definitely drunk already, to be imagining fucking Ueda Tatsuya -

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” the woman said angrily, straightening up and facing Ryo.

“What the fuck is your problem?” Ryo managed to raise an eyebrow.

“Is that how you fuck? Slow and - you pause every now and then - you fuck like an old man!” the woman laughed. Ryo would have none of that.

“Shut up, bitch,” he said, grabbing a fistful of the woman’s blonde hair and pulling back.

She winced and looked afraid. Just the way Ryo liked it. He shoved into her once, which made her moan, and then pulled at her hair again. As they say, no pain, no gain.

“Don’t act all chill - ” Ryo hissed his slurred speech in between his forceful thrusts and hair-pulling. “Because I know someone who’s a real better princess than you - ”

The woman made another sound halfway between a moan and a whimper.

“And he isn’t even a fucking girl.”

oOo

Kame’s mood had taken a turn for the worse. The club’s noisy environment felt suffocating to him now. What he wanted was peace and quiet, to have some time alone to think things over. He gently removed Jin’s arm from around his shoulders.

“Hey, Jin, it’s getting late,” said the idol in a tired voice as he started to stand up.

“You’re leaving already?” Jin grabbed hold of Kame’s arm, keeping him in his seat.

“I have to go home.”

“Hmm,” said Jin, nuzzling Kame’s neck. “Why don’t you go home with me?”

Something in Kame snapped. Was sex all that Jin wanted to do?

“Excuse me,” Kame said heatedly, forcibly extricating himself from Jin’s hold. “I’m going home to my own place, not with you.”

And with that, Kame stood up and marched to the exit. Jin might be drunk, but he wasn’t stupid enough to let Kame walk away like that. He had to set things straight because somehow, Jin felt like Kame was angry about something unspoken.

“What’s this about, really?” Jin asked once he caught up with Kame in the parking lot, grabbing the younger man’s arm. He struggled to keep his focus on Kame even as his vision started to swirl. “Why are you so upset about going home with me?”

Kame bit his lip, looking like it was against his will to explain himself, but he cast his gaze upon the parked cars and said, “Look, if you think I’m just, I don’t know, a good fuck - then let me tell you I’m not going to give myself so easily. What happened earlier - ”

“You regret it?” Jin asked, his hands in his pockets.

“No!” Kame replied, raising his voice. “I just - I know I’m being… weird and - aggressive… but I’m trying to be levelheaded here and make this work…”

Jin felt a pang in his heart at Kame’s hurt expression. Indeed, between the two of them, the idol had so much more at stake. But if Jin would promise anything, it was that he wasn’t here to ruin it all for Kame.

“I said we were exclusively dating, weren’t we?” Jin said pointedly, peering at Kame’s face.

“Oh come on, Jin. That’s the alcohol talking right there - ”

“No,” Jin interrupted firmly. “I’m not yet drunk. I meant every word.”

Kame stared at Jin, and Jin stared back determinedly. If Jin had to win a staring game in order to win Kame over, then there’s no problem - oh. Kame smiled.

Jin smiled back, relieved. He put an arm over Kame’s shoulder and began walking.

“I’ll drive you home,” Jin whispered.

But in the back of his mind, Jin himself was surprised with what he said. He was never keen on making commitments and if his past relationships would be surveyed, he was never exactly, strictly, a hundred percent loyal. But then… to hell with it, Jin thought. Wherever the winds take me.

oOo

Ryo blinked up at the large building looming up in front of him against the night sky. Somehow, he’d ended up at the Jimusho. He racked his brain, trying to remember what happened the last few hours. Nothing came up. He didn’t know how he got there. All he knew is that he wanted to see Ueda right now. Why? He didn't know that part either.

He sat down by the fountain just outside one of the entrances, staring absently at the angel spitting water from its mouth. The actor slumped against a sculpture of some sort beside him, deciding to close his eyes for a bit.

“What the hell...?” said a voice, and Ryo heard footsteps coming toward him.

Ryo raised his head, looking at Ueda with bleary eyes. The idol was standing in front of him wearing a hat and a trench coat and was obviously on his way home. Ueda, he noted, still looked attractive even when all blurry. Fuck.

“Nishikido Ryo,” said Ueda, the corner of his mouth lifting in a smile. “You’re drunk.”

“Am not!” exclaimed Ryo childishly.

Ueda chuckled, highly amused at Ryo’s drunken state. The idol would keep this funny memory of the other man for future blackmail purposes.

“Why are you even here?” Ueda asked, sitting beside the actor.

Ryo blinked, the expression on his face suddenly turning serious. “You tell me.”

Ueda crossed his arms, puzzled at the change in the other’s demeanor, “You’re not making any sense.”

"Y'know what?” Ryo said, suddenly switching topic. “I fucked a ho earlier. And she was good. But probably not as good a fuck as you'd be."

Ueda didn’t know if he should be offended, flattered, or amused at the actor’s crude statement. But then, it was always like that with Ryo. Instead of getting angry with Ryo’s outrageous frankness, Ueda would always just end up laughing. There was something very refreshing about Ryo’s candidness.

And so, the idol smiled in spite of himself.

“It’s all so fucking confusing,” Ryo wailed suddenly, voicing a new train of thought. “And it’s all your fault!”

“What?” asked a surprised Ueda. “How is it my fault?”

“I don’t know,” replied Ryo, looking at the idol straight in the eyes, “What the hell did you do to me?”

Ueda frowned, getting more and more confused by the moment, “What are you--”

But before the idol could finish his statement, Ryo tilted his head and said, “I wanna kiss you.”

“Yeah, you just go and try that, why don’t you?” Ueda said with a sarcastic laugh.

To Ueda’s utter shock, Ryo closed his eyes and drew his face closer. The idol’s automatic reaction was to pull away, but then, he hesitated. For a brief moment, Ueda’s gaze lingered on the other man’s sensuous lips. What would kissing Ryo feel like - ?

“Alright, that’s enough,” said Ueda, forcefully pushing Ryo away with both hands, “It’s time you went home. You just tell me where you live and I’ll call you a cab.”

“I don’t wanna go home,” Ryo whined.

“Tch. Look, it’s getting really late. Will you just tell me your address already?”

“Will not!!! I want to crash at your place,” said Ryo, and it was clear from his tone that he wouldn’t take no for an answer.

Ueda threw his hands up in exasperation. He was tired from a long day at work and just wanted to go home and rest. He didn’t have the energy to argue with Ryo. “Fine! Whatever. But you’re sleeping on the couch.”

Ueda stood up and fished his car keys from his pocket.

“Can you even walk?” he asked the actor, looking at him askance.

Ryo stood up and took a few unsteady steps. Ueda shook his head and came forward to support the other man with one arm.

“Alright, let’s go,” Ueda said impatiently, walking towards the parking lot.

Ryo leaned against him easily as they walked together. It was a chilly night, and Ryo’s warm weight against him helped to banish the cold. Ueda would try to forget it later, but he would still remember the feeling of that vaguely comfortable warmth.

It didn’t help that Ryo seemed bent on keeping as close to Ueda as possible, even trying to put an arm around him. Ueda hissed at the other man and slapped his hand away.

“You’re so cold to me,” Ryo drawled, letting Ueda shove him into the passenger seat, “I’m usually irresistible, y’know?”

Ueda made no reply as he leaned over Ryo to buckle the man’s seatbelt.

“It’s like I have no effect on you,” said Ryo, and Ueda could feel the actor’s warm breath on his neck.

“You’re really strong... or really really frigid!” Ryo added, with a peal of laughter.

Ueda paused, turning his head to look at the other man. No, Ueda wasn’t that strong. He wasn’t very strong at all.

~end of Chapter 3~

Chapter 4

Back to Chapter 2

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